Hello chaps
So. Say you had been invited to a weekend stag, but you hadn't been invited to the wedding or the reception, would you go? The stag would cost in the region of 200 quid plus spending money.

I told them to get to fuck with their stag do, but I'm feeling a little guilty.
( Kroney, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:36, 6 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

You were right to say fuck 'em.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:36, Reply)

I would have done the same.
Mind you, I just say 'no, sorry' to stag dos as a matter of course, these days.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:37, Reply)

does your other half not like you parading around with other men and leering over scantily clad women, then?

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 May 2012, 9:38, Reply)

HAHA, no, it's funny because you forgot that he's an alcoholic
and now he has to mention his addiction to explain himself to you.

No offence Scarpe, you know i've got your back.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:39, Reply)

Yes, this^
And obviously no offence taken.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:40, Reply)

there's no such thing as being addicted to alcohol
theres just poofs and not-poofs
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:41, Reply)

Damn straight, niggah.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:42, Reply)

HAHA, that IS funny.
Cos I didn't even know he was an alcoholic and now I know one of his deepest darkest ... well maybe not secrets. But still. I know now.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 May 2012, 9:41, Reply)

Just make sure that you use this information to bully him.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:42, Reply)

Someone needs to, now Rory is no longer of this parish.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:43, Reply)

I'd offer to step up to the role,
but let's face it, I'm only sporadically posting these days. I mostly only lurk now.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 May 2012, 9:43, Reply)

This is a pretty poor first effort at bullying scarpe
You didn't make any references to his drinking or his resemblance to Peter Chapman. Rory will be turning in his grave.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:49, Reply)

I don't know who Peter Chapman is.
And Rory's not exactly someone I aspire to be.
So I am O-K with failing the first "bullying" attempt.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 May 2012, 9:51, Reply)

shut up you fat prick


/rory
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:54, Reply)

Only when you ask nicely.
You festering cluster-zit.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 May 2012, 9:55, Reply)

you are scarpe's mum, you raised an alcoholic

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:57, Reply)

Do I look like I have some sort of "time-machine" where I can go back in time, pop out a baby scarpe, then go forward in time and still be younger than him?

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 May 2012, 10:00, Reply)

yeah, your right next to that time zone line innit
so you can travel through time dead easy
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:03, Reply)

Oh, how your mind works. If only it worked like that.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 May 2012, 10:04, Reply)

evs

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:06, Reply)

But she's a girl.

I'm being bullied by a girl. That's like being bullied by...well...Rory, actually.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:52, Reply)

your mum is a fat prick

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:56, Reply)

Thank god someone else thinks so too.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:57, Reply)

i've got a stain my my trousers

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:58, Reply)

It's not mayonnaise, and I'm not touching them.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 May 2012, 10:00, Reply)

no i think it might be sauce from my spaghetti hoops

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 14 May 2012, 10:02, Reply)

Giving up booze is a great way to lose weight, you know...

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:42, Reply)

...and gain memory

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:43, Reply)

this is also accurate.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:47, Reply)

but do you remember this for certain?
or are you just nodding and smiling?
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 May 2012, 9:48, Reply)

STOP BULLYING POOR SCARPE!!!
Hasn't he already been through enough?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:51, Reply)

NEVARRRRRRR!

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 May 2012, 9:52, Reply)

To paraphrase Frank Skinner, of all people,

I definitely remember. I can always remember what I did the previous night now. Nothing.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:51, Reply)

That'd be great advice if I actually drank.
At the moment I'm losing weight by not having enough money to buy food. It's working well so far.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 May 2012, 9:43, Reply)

Depends, if the wedding is only tiny, like immediate family only tiny
then you're just being a cunt, but if they are inviting everyone and just not you, then it's because you're a cunt.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:38, Reply)

It's his own brother's wedding.
He's such a CUNT.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:43, Reply)

My brother's having his reception in Bucharest.
That's the sort of jet-setting family we are, you know. His kids are goign to be half gyppo. I'm so ashamed.
( Kroney, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:48, Reply)

I used to DJ in Bucharest.
It's an odd place.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:57, Reply)

why would someone want you at their stag, but not the wedding?
I can only assume they can't rustle up enough friends for a decent shindig
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:39, Reply)

I'm guessing the bride has chosen all the wedding guests
and the groom was just about allowed to choose his own stag guests.
I doubt Kroney will ever see the poor downtrodden sod ever again.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:41, Reply)

I wish I'd thought of saying that.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 14 May 2012, 9:43, Reply)

Sorry b3th, I've got you on ignore so I can't read your posts

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:45, Reply)

Or the bride is a massive racist who won't allow FRENCHIES at her wedding.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:43, Reply)

Well let's be fair, who would allow them at a wedding?

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 May 2012, 9:46, Reply)

the french?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:49, Reply)

No. They don't have weddings. They have wed-DINGzz.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 May 2012, 9:49, Reply)

I don't know the guy all that well anymore.
I imagine what's happened is that they've booked all the spaces for the reception but he doesn't have enough mates for a decent stag.

At any event, I don't think it's fair to ask me to pay 200 notes for a weekend in Bristol if I'm not invited to the wedding.

I'm not cross about it or anything, just wondered what other people would do.
( Kroney, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:43, Reply)

Plus, you've already been to Bristol, so you know how shit it is...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 14 May 2012, 9:45, Reply)

You did right.
One can only assume the bride hates you and doesn't want to have you ruining the day. The groom is obviously pussy whipped.
Send them a botdog as a wedding gift.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 14 May 2012, 9:39, Reply)

To be fair, he's a very hateable man.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:44, Reply)

maybe your invite got lost in the post?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:40, Reply)

that's a very generous theory.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 14 May 2012, 9:46, Reply)

Haha
Nicely put.
( Kroney, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:48, Reply)

They could get hold of me to ask about the stag
they could get hold of me if I hadn't RSVP'd yet, which they haven't.
( Kroney, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:49, Reply)

Just say NON!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 14 May 2012, 9:55, Reply)