Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Tonight I will be appearing on Tellyboxes in a piece of hard-hitting Investigative Journalism.When have you been on the TV?
Alt: Don't you know who I am?
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:14,
159 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
I heard there was some hardcore flouncing being perperpertrated by emvee.Where the fuck is it?
I need entertainment dammit.
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:17, Reply)
I've no idea I'm afraid.If it's entertainment you're after, how about a game of Twister? Offline, of course, internet twister is a) not real and b) grooming.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:20,
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It's because I'm all trustworthy, being off the telly and that.(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:26,
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www.b3ta.com/users/profile.php?id=90476
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:29,
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Why, what are you in?I've been in the background on news reports before, but never on TV. I have, however, been heard in cinemas around the country, and been recorded onto DVD (same night).
Alt: Yes, you're the guy that killed his wife, and buried her under the patio.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:19,
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A piece of hard-hitting Investigative Journalism, I told you.In it I play a fraud man who is fraudulently frauding people. I'm very convincing.
ALSO: Flim is totally alive, and not in a "Weekend at Bernie's" kind of way.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:22,
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And it's on tonight?The only one I can see is DIY SOS
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:30,
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As if I would work with Nick Knowles.My contract specifically states:
"Mr. Tights will not work with a) cunts or b) men his mum fancies. In the case of Nick Knowles, both a and b apply."
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:32,
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Not since John Craven left it.It is now just puff, the tabloid of Children's Journalism. At least Craven gave it gravitas, and nice jumpers.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:34,
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You WON?I bet Anne noshed you right off after, the winker.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:22,
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I didn't really go on the weakest linkFamous offtopic poster Darth Foxtrot did, I was pretending to be him... ducky
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:25, Reply)
The BBC.I don't go to light entertainment channels, not with my background of hard-hitting investigative journalism.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:25,
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YEASH BUT WHAT PROGRAM FUCKS SAKEMINCING AROUND ALL DAY THERE'S LIKE 8 PROGRAAMAS A NIGHT ON ONE BBC CHANNEL
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:53, Reply)
Woah, chill out. I don't need a stalker at this early stage of my career.BBC London News man. Please don't do a Dando on me.
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Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:59,
Reply)
I shall attempt to tune in at 6:30as I now have acccess to London Television.
(I shall almost certainly forget, though).
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:08,
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I hope he says "Listen, buster, I'm not some kind of performing monkey here for your entertainment."(, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:30, Reply)
Listen, buster, I'm not some kind of performing monkey here for your entertainment. (
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:33,
Reply)
I'm guessing Ye Massive Drugges(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:38,
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When John Major was king of Englandhe came to my Primary school. It was at this young age I realised that every school/hospital/etc visit they do is a photo op and nothing more. Cnuts. Anyway I was on the news in my PE kit
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Peej, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:45,
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football joke:john terry's taking his kid to her sportsday tomorrow, he's not taking part but he's taking his PE kit jsut in case she wins so he can lift her trophy
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:52, Reply)
What's small, grey, and smells of curry?John Major's cock.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:53,
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Is it a small portion of curry?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:59,
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FucksocksI'd have guessed at Dopiaza
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:01,
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It's what Mrs Battered would have wanted(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:32,
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At least you hadn't forgotten your kit that day, or you'd have been in pants and vest.(
Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:58,
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I was interviewed on Spanish tv at Live 8because every other dickhead was sprinting to the front when they opened the gates and I was the only person ambling at a pace slow enough for them to stop me and ask me stuff.
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 14:45, Reply)
I appeared on Match of the Day for 1.5 seconds in the crowd after a Chris Brunt shot narrowly missed the goal.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:05,
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I'm sure over the years I will have been on numerous times on MOTDI was filmed at a Celtic - Sunderland pre-season game where my mates were watching in the pub and rang me to tell me off for wearing a bright yellow t-shirt
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:08,
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that's shocking fucking liesEvery Chris Brunt shot I've ever seen has ended up going for a throw or in row Z.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:47,
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What a charmer, eh?www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-18172718
Needs pictures.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:09,
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The moral of this story is don't get in the way of a woman just before her wedding(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:19,
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i have never been on the televisiontrue fact
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:21,
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You live on top of yours, don't you?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:26,
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it's big enoughalthough I'd have to move my internal aerial
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:27,
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I'll move your internal aerial in a minute(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:31,
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I was once on a fight to Ibiza and Jordan came on with her entorage and film crewthey asked if anybody specifically didn't want to be on film. I was the only person to put my hand up.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:28,
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I marked myself out as a not wanting to in any way involved with that hideous witch(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:32,
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You could have told Harvey he was on a bus and to push the button to get off(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:33,
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but if you were in a group of peopleand a tv crew turned up, but only one person said they didn't want to take part the rest of the group would immediately assume something was up
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:44, Reply)
I picked my day to return to b3ta phenomenally wellI was on TV last year on a quiz show. I think I mentioned it at the time.
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:32, Reply)
I do wish you'd stop pissing yourself during climax(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:36,
Reply)
If you'd just let me fuck you sober it wouldn't happenI've got control of my giggle reflex now
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:37, Reply)
Haha!That sounds like an excellent threat
I'll fuck you sober, pet!
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:39,
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What kind of pet?If it's a gerbil I suggest wrapping it in clingfilm first. They split.
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:45, Reply)
All those butthole things in your ears and gay waistcoat really suited you(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:33,
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Are you trying to chat him up Rory?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:35,
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well it's not like you didn't go on and on and on and on and on about it as the defining moment of your lifeand then on and on and on and on and on about the amazing winnings and how you were going to spend it all on vimto and combichrist action figurines
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:40,
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I've missed you. You're so cute.Excellent work flaming Emvee by the way, good to see you haven't lost your touch
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:42, Reply)
Up there ^Nutshell; Rory starts on Emvee based on embarrassing photo, Personality Horse weighs in, Emvee flids out big style
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:44, Reply)
The best bit is where Emvee says hi to Quentin all friendly like in the hope that he'll agree with his assesment of RoryMotherfucker having no luck at all with his friend requests
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:56, Reply)
You can't keep someone like emvee down, you have to admire that in a nerd(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:44,
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there are forty nine very upset people on the internet ignoring mehow cool is that !?!?!!!!!
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:48,
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You can actually find that out?I assumed that was part of the wind-up
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:49, Reply)
Manolith was spilling the beans on talk(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:50,
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I'm partly intriguedand then I remember that I'm not interesting enough to be ignored
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:54, Reply)
did someone say something?(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:57,
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like the desert needs the rain, baby(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:05,
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But the desert copes perfectly well without the rain......oh I see what you did there
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:10, Reply)
Hot lottery tipYou wait and see.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:49,
Reply)
I have to say that even by the standards of this placeit's a fucking magnum opus. I particularly like how he pretends to have ph on ignore and demands photos of him before accidentally a) replying directly to him and b) calling him a fat bald prick, which pretty much shows he knows what he looks like anyway.
I mean, I'm pretty meh about this kind of shit over there, it seems a bit like shooting massively oversized autistic fish in a small barrel using a bazooka, but sometimes you have to doff your cap to a truly epic piece of work. Well played sir, well played indeed.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:51,
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Don't I know it.(
the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:54,
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It's not as easy as it looks(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:00,
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I bet you have to go days without wanking before a really good flame(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:02, Reply)
It still surprises me that people rise to it.Especially somebody like Emvee who's been on the internet, and this website, long enough to know better.
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Kroney, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:06,
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It's made for a rather pleasant way to pass the afternoon, I must admit.I can't believe it's still going on.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 23 May 2012, 17:07,
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I was once on local newswhen we all had to dress up as victorians at school
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 23 May 2012, 15:47,
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i'm no cosplayer!(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:23,
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Cosplayers just dress up like anime characters - BORING
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:25,
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Ah so they don't go as far as to roll the dice etc? fair enough. I never found an axe I liked by the way.
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:29, Reply)
Wait, so you are a LARPer, Anime dressy up people are cosplayers.So what are all those people dressed as Batman, Superman, The Joker etc?
('Losers' is too easy to be an acceptable comedy answer).
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:37,
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Ha.See, that is a good comedy answer.
No motherfucker going to tell me I don't know how to do italics.
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:41,
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I'm allowed one good post a day.The rest are dross.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:43,
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I believe they are also called cosplayers. But that would mean B3th was wrong and I don't know how to cope with a world where B3th isn't the go to person for advice on LARPing and Cosplay. :(
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:47,
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wellthat didn't help :)
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 23 May 2012, 17:48,
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wait did you just get me mixed up with b3th?
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 23 May 2012, 17:48,
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I now have a meeting until 6:30THAT FUCKING SUCKS
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:57,
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I finished at 12.30 and have just arrived at the pub(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 23 May 2012, 16:58,
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I'm going to the pub tomorrow evening.Eat that shit, fact fans.
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Kroney, Wed 23 May 2012, 17:06,
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I'm off to see OZRIC TENTACLES in an hour or so.Scoff that dump, fact supporters.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 23 May 2012, 17:14,
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I mis-read that as Aztec Testicles (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 23 May 2012, 17:15,
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I was interviewed on 5 News about eBay, back when everyone started getting into eBay.I looked and sounded like a complete twat.
Then last year I recorded a voxpop for someone who was getting 'honoured' on Noel's Christmas Presents. My bit got cut.
Alt: Yes. Yes, i do. I've heard you have a stunning missus too.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 23 May 2012, 17:47,
Reply)
If I squint that looks like "my tit got out". Which is enough for me.
(, Wed 23 May 2012, 17:57, Reply)
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 23 May 2012, 18:03,
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That's some pretty determined squinting there Bobby(
The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 23 May 2012, 18:08,
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