Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
What's that coming over the hill? Is it a monster? Is it a monster?Alt: What's that coming over your nan? Is it the Montser? Is it the Montster?
Why yes. Yes it is. And the only person enjoying it more than her is YOU. You're fucking disgusting.
Alt alt: Spastics. 'The Paralympics'? Fuck off. The only people who care about that shit are the long-suffering families of the competing flidmoes and the 'couldn't cut it in the sphere of able-bodied sports' losers who train them - sorry, the 'inspirational coaches who give so much of their time'. I know I'm right here. This isn't a question.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:26,
133 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
I have no idea, and you should be thoroughly ashamed of yourself for knowing that song.Alt: Well, as long as it was worth the rail journey to Oxford, the rather expensive taxi, and the difficult dig, as she's buried underneath.
Alt Alt: NA is away for the next few days, OT is going to be at least 10% less spasticated.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:33,
Reply)
I only know that bit. It was on used in a TV link once.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:36,
Reply)
you massive bully.You would take all the golds in the Paralympics and the Homolympics.
(, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:33, Reply)
What's better than winning gold in the paralympics?Not being a mong.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:36,
Reply)
Awful, self-important tosspots.The Scandinavian boy especially, Lars Ulrich if that's his name? His 'contribution' to the Lemmy film is excruciating. He's like an IRL 'Bill and Ted'.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:37,
Reply)
The GuardianJust printed an old interview with James Hetfield. He has some 'interesting' views on hip hop. And homophobia. The man's a prick.
(, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:42, Reply)
The hip-hop comments are clearly from someone who doesn't have a clueBut the way I'm reading it, the only reference to homophobia is in reference to something Axl Rose has said, not Metallica...
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:05,
Reply)
Alt Alt What about the guy with no shins? He's fucking faster than normal people.He has blades which are basically big springs, the cheating bastard.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:35,
Reply)
Fucking kangaroo hybrid cheaty wanker.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:38,
Reply)
toap is the best, you should post this on /board.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:38,
Reply)
it's so LOL, you should totes post it on /board.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:47,
Reply)
Yes, I do have a problem with you. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:08,
Reply)
another edgy post from monty.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:37,
Reply)
I'm so bored. So very, very bored.Yesterday I was reduced to arguing about those dolies who were left under London Bridge. Christ alive MMPPSPPS, there are few things I care less about.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:38,
Reply)
I take your criticism in the spirit in which is was meant.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:40,
Reply)
+ delete account and kill self.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:41,
Reply)
I like to think that when he postsHis girlfriend wears a baseball cap sideways and baggy trousers and woops and high fives him and goes YEEEAAH BOOOOIII" at him. When somebody "disses" him, I expect she crosses her arms and glares at them with her head tilted all sideways and that.
(
Kroney, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:42,
Reply)
girlfriend? why are you white knighting monty?(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:43,
Reply)
I've met her she totes exists mumpsMonty's the Adonis of OT. He's got a reali life girlfriend that's not made out of plastic or ANYTHING
(
Kroney, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:44,
Reply)
an escort does not count as a real life girlfriend, even if she lets you scuttle her for extra cash.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:45,
Reply)
+ I bet "she" used to be a dude.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:46,
Reply)
There's at least one massive flaw in your theory.Cash, you say? Extra cash?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:52,
Reply)
so you're a thief now too.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:00,
Reply)
He's so edgy he's in danger of falling off himself.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:51,
Reply)
I'm so edgy, I give myself a wedgie.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:55,
Reply)
Your undercrackers being forcibly jammed up your hoop is the last thing I want to think about at this time of day.
(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:58,
Reply)
I just wanted an excuse to use the word hoop.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:07,
Reply)
The closingCeremony of the special Olympics will be held in at the swimming complex. The ghost of Ron Pickering will shout 'away you go!' And whilst the world makes vegetable soup, the flame will be put out.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:40,
Reply)
Security staff will be on hand to ensure that a vest is clearly visible through everyone's shirts.It was Ron's dying wish.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:41,
Reply)
The openingCeremony will feature nothing but a camera panning the assembled mass of jogging joeys trying to give a 'thumbs up'.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:44,
Reply)
Morning hippy.Glad to see you're sweetness, light and all round charm this morning.
I've got as much time for the Paralympics, as the real ones. Both disgustingly expensive large-scale school sport days, for upper class twits who never grew out of running round a field, (or wheeling round one), or throwing things farther than anyone else.
(, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:50, Reply)
You're forgetting 'being able to jump really high'.Very impressive. When you're seven.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:56,
Reply)
I am however a fan of wimmin's lesbian curling, in the Winter Olympics, particularly the short haired Jockanese minxes.Strangely alluring.
(, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:59, Reply)
I like it too, but I do feel sorry for the people who have to clean the glass coffee tables afterwards.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:04,
Reply)
You. Miserable. Cunt. I, for one, applaud our less able brothers in their attempt to become "Citius, Altius, Fortius". Anyone who doesn't is a fucking spastic.
I've cum over your girlfriend's hills.
(, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:53, Reply)
Personally I struggle with the 'Altius' bit.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 8:56,
Reply)
Splendid thank you. Mentioned to Monty re beers Sat 23rd. Are you available?
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:00,
Reply)
Looks like he's put you on 'ignore'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:10,
Reply)
Lofty ambitions?(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:00,
Reply)
I'd appreciate it if you didn't do so again.Thanks bbz x x x
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:03,
Reply)
so why did the disappointed delete a thread?has somebody been picking on him? i'm looking at you here, battered
(, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:09, Reply)
He can't help himself.He was mocking the disabled earlier. I mean, how low can you get?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:10,
Reply)
Anyone that uses pejorative terms to describe the disabled is a fucking retard spazmo flid.(
scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:11,
Reply)
did you see his picture?i think he must have been victimised by obese paraplegics at middle school(, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:12, Reply)
i know, i saw thati'm all for things said in jest but he clearly went too far.
i don't know what sort of upbringing makes you grow up all bitter and angry like that, but i'm glad i was brought up properly
(, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:11, Reply)
Nice to see SOME OF US still have some manners.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:15,
Reply)
maybe if his parents had fed him properly he wouldn't be a humunculous and he'd have no reason to be bitter(, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:16, Reply)
If they hadn't allowed him to smoke 40 a day during pubertymaybe he'd have grown taller than the cast of 'Time Bandits' and society might have been spared his uncontrolled anger.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:19,
Reply)
Time was, one could go out to, say, a bash, safe in the knowledge that you would in all probability come home in one piece. Those days are long gone.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:23,
Reply)
i know, i heard that's the real reason gonz stopped going to them completelyhe just sits at home crying and filling tesco bags because of what that man's done to him
(, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:24, Reply)
I hope it's the reason Gonz doesn't turn up. He's a creepy little pervert.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:25,
Reply)
His favourite crisps are 'Nik-Naks'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:29,
Reply)
Maybe if your parents had clothed you properly as a child you would have grown up with a level of sartorial elegance instead of looking like a homeless beggar.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:22,
Reply)
Spastic fingers, he said.(
Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:10,
Reply)
Nah someone, I'm not saying who, made a comment about him wanking off his dogs if there was nothing on tvit disappeared soon thereafter
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:12,
Reply)
yeah, and he said it don't really count if he does it with his mouth, that's not really wanking offI think he was high at that point
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:15,
Reply)
it must be very confusing for the dogsure it feels sort of warm and nice, td puts in a lot of effort but on some level that dogs thinking 'why is that intelligent ape choking back on my lipstick? was I REALLY that good at fetching the ball?'
(, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:19, Reply)
How 'disappointing'.DO YOU GET IT?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:13,
Reply)
It's the new third 'golden age' of offtopic, the return of Biggers was foretold(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:14,
Reply)
Cavy consulted the Oracle of Thr'r'r'g'g'ngg and said it was so.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:17,
Reply)
She's currently making an elven cloak from an oxfam blanket, which by her own admission stinks of pissI do wonder about that woman sometimes
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:20,
Reply)
malc was talking about one of his mates yesterday who is seeing this really dirty girl he has no respect forhe said she even lets him piss on her, i just assumed it was swipe
(, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:22, Reply)
I think it was one of Monty's blankets he handed in when he got off the streets and in to a hostel.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:23,
Reply)
delete this one, i actually liked your last one up there but this one ruins it(, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:23, Reply)
it must have been a one-offyou were shit at the start, one flash of a half decent post, then shit again
maybe its the air pressure because you're nearer the ground, it must impair brain function
(, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:27, Reply)
i think one of my very first posts here was about him being let down about something(, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:14, Reply)
I'm in near hysterics at my deskA well known company has fucked up royally. They are meant to send us member numbers, names, and addresses for cards & carriers, etc. Today, they've sent us names, addresses, and full bank details for several customers.
Their account manager informed them of this, from what I can tell there was something approaching blind panic from their side. The files have been securely deleted now, sadly, but it gave me a good laugh to know that someone who has questioned our security in the past has fucked up quite that badly.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:37,
Reply)
Gaz them to me, I'm fucken SKINT, AA.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:38,
Reply)
this si the most interesting thing you'll post all monthyou should have paced yourself
(, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:42, Reply)
When did you become the self-appointed judge of other people's posts?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:44,
Reply)
At a guess, I'd say Mon 3 Oct 2011, 9:54(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:45,
Reply)
i'm glad you're keeping track, flattered eveni hope someday i can be like a mother figure to you
(, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:49, Reply)
Ent his dad got the healing hands, or is that someone else?Anyways if it is they didn't really work and I'd be surprised if he can look his family in the eye now
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 10:00,
Reply)
He's a minister of the lord thoughpulpit ladiez of a certain age can't get enough of his wandering hands
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 10:03,
Reply)
What about the choir boys? Is he scary ducking them?(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 10:08,
Reply)
Probably, they have plenty of time on their handsWhen he's not rifling the collection box, or being that shoulder to cry on, he's staring at boys arses
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 10:11,
Reply)
Before staring up them, with his penis, because he is a nonce, who fucks boys, up the bum.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 10:13,
Reply)
Far be it for the likes of us to criticise ministers of the lord whilst they look after their flock(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 10:16,
Reply)
I thought it was your ex. Some spakker Olympic events are good;Mutant swimming for example.
(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:43,
Reply)
This thread's shit. Soz everyone.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:55,
Reply)
Loads of people have taken the week off work.Fucking slackers. I reckon that's why it's deader than usual in here.
(
Kroney, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:56,
Reply)
Raise your game then K. (
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 10:05,
Reply)
OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD MY ALARMS DIDNT GO OFF OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD OR IF THEY DID I WENT BACK TO SLEEP OH GOD OH GOD IM LATE IM LATE OH GOD ALL MIGHTY.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:56,
Reply)
"Late for work, in a blind hurry... still finds times to post on b3ta."(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:56,
Reply)
I need a wee but don't want to get out of bed.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 9:58,
Reply)
I might just piss myself and lie in it.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 10:01,
Reply)
Don't you have a bottle to piss in?I remember this practice from my crazy student days. I had some sense of self worth so avoided it.
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 10:01,
Reply)
I'm not a trucker. I'll go when the bathroom is free. Then back to bed for a bit.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 10:04,
Reply)
The only monster around here this morning is me.I was up till three for the second night in a row, then had to get up at seven.
I'm fucking wrecked. I guarantee I'll be eiter asleep or dead by lunchtime.
Alt alt: my maths teacher at school was in the GB 'special olympics' team in Seoul. He had a club foot, and he played table tennis. Special, my (club) foot.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 7 Jun 2012, 10:04,
Reply)
That's nothing. I have a 'Trio' leg.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 10:11,
Reply)
'Taxi' for Montgomery (
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Thu 7 Jun 2012, 10:14,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »