It's another conversational riot on /OT today, I see.
But that thread's died and somebody's got to try a new one. Can't really think of a good question at the moment so in the meantime;

How did you meet your significant other? Did you chase them, did they run after you like a fat kid chasing an ice cream van? If you're single, what the fuck's wrong with you, you ugly or something?
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:04, 119 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Top thread Kroney, you cunt

( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:07, Reply)

Fuck you

( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:07, Reply)

Answer your own question.
I'm guessing "Away mission to Rija"
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:24, Reply)

Yes!

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:08, Reply)

Me too!

( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:09, Reply)

Holla!

( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:11, Reply)

You're gorgeous. not ugly at all.
You're just silly.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:20, Reply)

He said ugly or something.
I'm something.
( girlinthehole, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:22, Reply)

Thought you were replying to me there for a minute.
I was really creeped out for a couple of seconds, given that I've never met you, until I realised you weren't.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:23, Reply)

I met her through work, she moved into a new house where the wireless coverage was shite
I went in to sort it, we started chatting, she was in a relationship that was winding down at the time, we got together after they split. That's about it, really.

She's moving back to Leeds this week, which is a bit disappointing. Not the end of the world, mind, but won't exactly make it easy for us to see each other all the time.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:08, Reply)

I'm guessing it's my charming personality that brings all the ladies to my yard
in other news today is day one of the great changeover: I am now carrying keys and cash in my LEFT pocket, and phone and fags in my RIGHT. We sure are living in momentous times, my friend.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:09, Reply)

You aren't going to be able to find anything for weeks
you crazy fool
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:11, Reply)

But it's more efficient!

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:13, Reply)

she worked in accounts
our offices were moved together, we started going to lunch, i started wearing her like a puppet

next question please
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:09, Reply)

Feel free to post one
It's like a morgue on here at moment.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:15, Reply)

I want YOU to post another question

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:21, Reply)

We met at a party a little while ago.
Got talking and we were both a little drunk. Things happened.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:16, Reply)

dirty cunt

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:21, Reply)

You wish.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:24, Reply)

no, i mean you need a wash
femfresh that slit, yo
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:25, Reply)

you say that as if you have intimate knowledge of my ladygarden.
I'll have you know it is both immaculately maintained and as clean as it could be. So there.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:26, Reply)

i can smell it from across the pacific

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:27, Reply)

S'not me.
Must be some other antipodean slattern.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:31, Reply)

they all are

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:33, Reply)

Interwebz

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:20, Reply)

filthy bastard

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:21, Reply)

We actually first met in real life at Captain hood butters house
true story.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:22, Reply)

aww

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:22, Reply)

Really? How did you manage to tear her away
from Hood-Butters' black hole level sexual magnetism?
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:24, Reply)

Chips

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:25, Reply)

A classic strategy.

( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:25, Reply)

Unless you are Daddy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:28, Reply)

Chix dig helicopters and pink floyd tribute bands

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:26, Reply)

who can discount his great lovemaking skillz either

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:26, Reply)

It only works on models though remember

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:32, Reply)

:( I'll never experience his delicate touch
his sweetly scented aftershave, or half remembered lyrics to 'another brick in the wall'
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:36, Reply)

we met in a pub
i was dating (banging) a visually pleasing but lacking in suitable long-term attributes (like interesting personality, conversational ability, similar taste in ANYTHING except sex) 19yo bellydancer at the time. Met a cute lass from norn iron through a mutual friend, she basically hit on me ruthlessly for a few hours, to which i was blissfully oblivious, as i usually am when women throw themselves at me (it's so infrequent i guess my brain goes "is she... nah don't be silly!") then grabbed my hand and put it on her arse. I fancied her, so i took her number, but i didn't want my my first intro to her to be me cheating on someone else, and i'd already pretty much decided it was over with this other chick. so i dumped the other girl a day later, then dropped the new lass a text.
that was nearly five years ago.
definitely the right call.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:20, Reply)

*awaits inevitable flaming*
*prepares pithy retort about fleshlights and iving in your mum's basement*
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:21, Reply)

I'm the same way when women are interested in me. Completely oblivious.

( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:25, Reply)

thats because none of them are interested in you

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:27, Reply)

I'm no plumdozer, but I do alright for myself.

( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:28, Reply)

i bet you do, wrists must get tired sometimes though

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:28, Reply)

i am absolutely SHITE
i'm not only the worst at pulling, i'm the worst at wingman. i have NO idea literally until they clamp on to my face, i'm like 'WHAAAAAAA???'
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:34, Reply)

Girlfriend before last grabbed my arse and I still didn't get it.
I just thought she was being playful. A mutual friend had to stage an intervention and ask just what the fuck I thought I was playing at.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:37, Reply)

You should open your captains log at some point for us all to comment on

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:40, Reply)

I really shouldn't.
It wouldn't be nearly as entertaining as the stuff that gets made up here. I'm pretty normal.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:45, Reply)

your whole post makes you sound like a prick
no offence
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:21, Reply)

if it quacks like a duck
it's probably a duck.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:24, Reply)

i did skim over a few key details for brevity's sake though
like that me and the other girl saw each other once a week, that she had LITERALLY no interests beside bellydancing, to a SUPER nerdy level, and penis.... and the fact that what triggered the final dumping was she was seeing someone else on the side.
also that my current girlfriend has big blue eyes. can't fuck with it man. it can't be fucked with.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:33, Reply)

Dunno, ask Quinten, he's the "expert"

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:36, Reply)

it was this bit
" was dating (banging) a visually pleasing but lacking in suitable long-term attributes (like interesting personality, conversational ability, similar taste in ANYTHING except sex) 19yo bellydancer at the time"

seems dead judgemental and a bit nasty to me
(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:38, Reply)

Everyone is a judmental prick on here though

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:43, Reply)

not me, i'm great

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:48, Reply)

alas, while it may seem cruel
it was actually pretty objective.
(UppityDamnPrimate LET'S OPEN THIS F*CKING PIT UP, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:54, Reply)

I met her through my ex-GF
I dumped the ex and a few days later the ex and her friend had a big falling out. Her friend sent me a message on FB a month or so later, we hooked up, the rest is history.

I saw the ex from a distance at the weekend. Her arse is getting larger, if that were possible.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:23, Reply)

Depends on the distance

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:28, Reply)

and the banjolele proximity

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:29, Reply)

Her arse would be huge
even if you held a large banjolele alongside it and you were both on the moon.

Am I doing this right?
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:31, Reply)

Mrs Cow worked in our office
We started going out then she left to do teacher training.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:25, Reply)

funny how so many couples meet at work isn't it?

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:26, Reply)

Not when you think about it
You are in the same place for 40 hours a week
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:27, Reply)

your wife is banging her boss

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:28, Reply)

This would be good
as her boss is female
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:29, Reply)

i'm her boss

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:32, Reply)

that's what she wants you to think

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:33, Reply)

Training them to have sex? By having sex with them?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:29, Reply)

There's plenty of time
*sobs and turns to drink*
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:26, Reply)

Don't make me get that prossie link back out.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:27, Reply)

That would clearly solve the job problem as well
But the prozzie lifestyle is not for me
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:31, Reply)

How's the job hunt going?
Is the dole office still filled with competant motivated people?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:32, Reply)

They're real blue-sky thinkers
It's not going well. Almost made the decision to appeal my degree classification. On the plus side I've ticked off a number of things this year that I wanted to accomplish with free time so that is good.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:35, Reply)

Well good luck,
Old Osbourn is going to be saving the ecconomy this summer, so you'll be dripping in money in no time
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:40, Reply)

You should listen to the Reith Lectures on Radio 4 at the moment

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:44, Reply)

I've read the article,
It's a valid point, but it's not the time to start doing that shit, the world has to get back to growth as a priority.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:46, Reply)

growth is key, however I can't see how we can exert a greater infuence than the floundering global economy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:01, Reply)

Cheers
I'm sure it will work out. How are you anyhow?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:44, Reply)

Sure,
I'm ok, I'm not going to be made redundant until October 2013 now, which is nice I suppose, but after then I'll be in your boat.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:47, Reply)

How is Jack having MS going to help the economy?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:55, Reply)

The men you know are clearly blind.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:33, Reply)

Alright you :)
I have clearly missed a lot since I've been away, when did this boyfriend thing happen?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:39, Reply)

Alright lovely.
Erm, it happened rather suddenly a while ago. Was a bit of a surprise.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:40, Reply)

that's clled rape

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:07, Reply)

Nah I know what that's like.
this was totally different.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:13, Reply)

I saw her chatting to her friend and thought she was hot
Being a cocky little fucker I butted in to their conversation and introduced myself. 10 Months later we were married.
( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:31, Reply)

shit that's fast

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:32, Reply)

Yup, I didn't even knock her up until after we were married.

( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:33, Reply)

Through being a good samaritan
Gave a young lady a lift home in 'Goth car' after her mate had buggered off with my mate.
The next week I was in a village pub having dinner, when the young lady (from the week before) dragged a very attractive woman over to my table, introduced her and then left us to chat. Apparently she had seen me a few times and thought I was quite attractive* but had never managed to get into conversation with me.
Been together for 7 years now.

*Poor, blind deluded fool that she is :)
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:42, Reply)

I'm single at the moment
but judging by Friday's conversation, I might be in with Chompy if I play my cards right.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:45, Reply)

I'm just trying to cheer berk up a bit.
also she's great at getting drunk and talking about boyfriends embarassing shitness online. Which will be lol.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:48, Reply)

Whatever sweetcheeks, you totally want me.

( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:50, Reply)

do you work as a stripper?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:55, Reply)

No.
This is not due to any moral objection on my part. It's more due to being a sweaty internet housewhale.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:57, Reply)

I met one of my exex on the tube.
I was going to a party and was getting changed on the tube. She thought this was highly amusing and as I was getting off I gave her my number.

She called a couple of days later and we started going out. I lived with her for about a year and a half.

She had a boob job whilst we were together. Not that it's relevant.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:54, Reply)

I don't like fake boobs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:55, Reply)

I've never seen any in the flesh
as it were.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:56, Reply)

They were nice.
Firm. Didn't disappear under the arm when she was on her back.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:00, Reply)

East West Breast

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:01, Reply)

They were a right state after surgery.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:02, Reply)

There's someone at work like that.
Hers are real, though.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:02, Reply)

^this
I'd rather a natural A Cup than fake
( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:56, Reply)

I don't like to be so proscriptive.
Rich tapestry of life and all that.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 11:59, Reply)

I am very much on the "beggars can't be choosers" train in that respect

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:00, Reply)

*checks ticket*
Move along.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:01, Reply)

Beggars can easily be choosers
Crack or Heroin
Cider or Super Strength Lager
Canal or underpass

They have total control and freedom, I envy them in a way
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:03, Reply)

My missus wants bolt ons
But I have told her I will find her less sexually attractive with fake tits. She just wants to look good for other women.
( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:04, Reply)

We are all aware that she doesn't want to look good for you

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:05, Reply)

Can't get to me today I'm afraid
as I had some wild animal sex this weekend and am grinning from ear to ear.
( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:07, Reply)

Good for you, bad for the dog

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:07, Reply)

Fuck her, shes only a dog.

( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:08, Reply)

b3ta.turb0t.net/questions/offtopic/post1644290
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:09, Reply)

When I lived in London I was going out with a girl at Bath uni.
She dumped me but I knew her house mate fancied me so I got with her. Then my ex wanted me back so I stupidly dumped the housemate. Then the ex dumped me again so I got back with the housemate. She was all in all a much nicer person, had more in common with me and was much better in bed. I had blown it though as she could never get over the fact that I chose my ex over her. She dumped me a few months later. Bugger.
( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:02, Reply)

Never go back is a truism.
I first split up with the most recent ex in 08. We got back together and I was playing a game of constant damage control as after that I could never do anything right. Should have stayed split up.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:05, Reply)

Indeed
I am now sure that her goal was to ruin it for me and the other girl, and in no way actually wanted me back.
( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:07, Reply)

Well it all worked out in the end, you are young, free, single and ready take on the world
or stay at home watching Star Trek reruns, whatever
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:08, Reply)

Yep, I'm a damned sight happier now than I was this time last year.
Plus I'm going drinking in an underground toilet on Wednesday. I may have mentioned this already.
( Kroney, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:10, Reply)

You have, I've been lubing up ever since

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:10, Reply)

I'm single, and not ugly...
just picky.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:07, Reply)

picky poor
( Peej, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:10, Reply)

& old

(Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Mon 18 Jun 2012, 12:16, Reply)