While everyone is still in a good mood
MINI APE IS ONE TODAY!!!

From less than 5lbs of screaming helplessness, to a proper little person full of giggles and smiles, just walking, just saying dada and making me laugh everyday.

I am a proud pop!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:29, 3 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Happy birthday to micro-simian.
My daughter is four on Sunday, and I wrapped all her gifts last night. She's getting some excellent stuff.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:31, Reply)

have a great time, I hope no one messes it all up, if you know what i mean
I have got mini ape nothing, as she'll get loads from friends and relatives and I'm broke!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:33, Reply)

They haven't got a clue when they're that age.
I got my nephew some matches.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:34, Reply)

I got your nephew some condoms.

I didn't really, stricly bareback, me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:36, Reply)

That's exactly what I didn't get for your daughter.
She is going to love the "black monster" I got for her.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:37, Reply)

You got her Ainsley Harriott???
So thoughtful.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:39, Reply)

Prickwithaforklols

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:41, Reply)

fun uncle stunners
this morning her favourite toy was my face, which she enjoyed hitting and gouging.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:36, Reply)

That's the best game to play when you're a baby!

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:43, Reply)

by ttered
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:46, Reply)

He really is a terrible person isn't he?

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:48, Reply)

By terrible, you mean short, right?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:49, Reply)

A terrible person, but a first-rate Jawa.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:51, Reply)

POOTINI!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:54, Reply)

Cheers.
Fingers crossed cunt-chops won't ruin it. This is the first year I get to see her on her actual birthday. Very excited!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:36, Reply)

What is our mantra?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:38, Reply)

'Kill it and grill it', right?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:40, Reply)

Wrong!
It's "Serenity, now".
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:41, Reply)

Oh, right.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:48, Reply)

A good car made by Opel in the Eighties?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:57, Reply)

Hahaha. An appalling car.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:03, Reply)

My brother had one in primer orange
He got pulled over a lot as it *looked* fast.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:30, Reply)

Also:
proud pop bent spastic
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:31, Reply)

Oh god, I'm even bullying myself now

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:33, Reply)

\o/ Yay for kiddie birthdays all round
They are excellent as there is just pure joy when they are opening their presents
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:38, Reply)

This made me start enjoying christmas again.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:39, Reply)

Gammon and wine have the same effect on me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:40, Reply)

Morning drinking isn't much of a treat for you though, is it?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:41, Reply)

Morning drinking is always a treat

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:43, Reply)

It's also a treat if you're just having a shit.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:45, Reply)

I prefer to read
then drink afterwards
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:46, Reply)

I like to think of my morning drinking as more of a treat for everyone else.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:47, Reply)

Same as my afternoon drinking

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:49, Reply)

You just love the sound of that zip coming down as they open their "presents" don't you?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:40, Reply)

Yep

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:41, Reply)

Christmas just gone was the best one in years
just for spending it with my nephews and niece for the first time since they moved over from NZ. Properly joyful day.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:40, Reply)

Nonce.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:41, Reply)

Nah they're all too old for my tastes
Once they start walking they can elude me too easily
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:44, Reply)

Agreed
I had accidently bought one extra pack of good smoked bacon rashers than I needed for the turkey so had all 12 in a sandwich
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:43, Reply)

urgh.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:44, Reply)

It was unbelievably good
with a cup of coffee and some fresh orange. Proper made my Christmas morning that did
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:45, Reply)

I fucking hate bacon.
it is rank.

We've discussed this.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:47, Reply)

Sporto will have yours then.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:48, Reply)

THIS^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:49, Reply)

He can have it all he likes.
Neither me or the fella eat bacon.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:49, Reply)

That's OK from your point of view
However, it does rather point out that your chap is an absolute fleet of berties.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:08, Reply)

I have no issue with you not liking bacon
This leaves more for me
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:48, Reply)

Bacainelolz

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:59, Reply)

Depends what type of bacon you get
The stuff the Merkins call bacon is foul
( Peej, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 10:13, Reply)

I don't get how people can not get excited by presents as they get older.
Any time someone remembers my birthday, and cares enough to buy a present, I get incredibly excited. Mainly because my birthday is early in the year, so people never remember it.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:41, Reply)

A few years of shit presents soon kills the enjoyment.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:50, Reply)

I think the only shit present I've ever had was when I was thirteen, and a girl from school gave me a porn magazine cos she thought it would be funny.
I think it helps that I'm generally very easy to please, and the fact that people take the time to do something nice like that for me is quite an enjoyable thing.

My brother though, he is fucking impossible to buy good presents for. Never says what he likes or what he wants. So it's like going blind shopping.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:55, Reply)

You take a dog with you?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:57, Reply)

No way. not a dog person.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 13 Jul 2012, 9:58, Reply)