Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Eh?Alright turds?
I go away for one week and this is what I come back to? I can’t trust you to look after anything in my absence.
So other than Lies Of The Week being pulled what else have I missed during my week of sunshine, scrumpy & scallops?
Alt: I saw some right munters on Cornish beaches last week. Are the British the ugliest nation in Europe?
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 7:11,
166 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
Why would we do anything for you? I can't decide whether or not to break into my bag of Fangtastics that Sportscow sent me. THey look amazing but I want them to last.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 7:22, Reply)
cos in honesty, I can't be fucked to do anything too extensive for you folks over there when I'm all the way over here. (, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 7:27, Reply)
I thought you'd been banned again.Alt: Yes we are. Being an island, we have too much inbreeding.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 7:24,
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I lost my phoneBut some kind soul got in touch having found it, so I got it back.
How was the break?
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 7:38,
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Terrific thanks. Great weather, lovely food and the cottage we rented was really good. Took my daughter on the beach for the first time. She ate a lot of sand.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 7:44,
Reply)
Morning BatteredWell, looks like you picked the right week to go to cornland.
You missed the epic flounce and un-flounce of ken.
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 8:08,
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Probs.Hows poppets weekend getting on?
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 8:11,
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erm, it's been over for nearly 17 hours.Monday evening here - I'm doing the last of my study for the evening.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 8:11, Reply)
Whoops. To early in the morning for me to think.Best of luck on the exam
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 8:13,
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I don't have exams for another ..... 9 weeks?I'm studying to keep up with my coursework instead of cramming right before I need to. I do much better this way.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 8:17, Reply)
alt: Every nation has uglies and fatties. ..but it varies from nation to nation as to whether they hide themselves from view or parade themselves in scanty clothing.
Brits seem to prefer to let it all hang out, which leads to some pretty hideous sights on the beach- it's like a walrus beach on Life on Earth, sometimes.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 8:10, Reply)
No, sadly I've never been.the lottery win is proving elusive.......
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 8:19, Reply)
i actually think this is a very valid point.We seem to think americans have all straight teeth, and play american football... we seem to forget Jerry springer and his endless supply of munters.
Plus - its the fattest country in the world... they must be massively image concious to only let the good looking people to the beach.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:52, Reply)
Morning Nick NackVery little, I'd say.
Alt Alt: No, saw some hideous munters in Sweden, majority of the others were quite plain.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 8:31,
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These ones at Talland Bay were particularly awful. Cellulite like you've never seen, body mass indexes +80% of what they should be, ghastly Sports Direct leisure wear and northern accents. Ergh. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 8:37,
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You are of course in a perfect position to judgebeing the slender Olympian vision of perfection that you are.
Also, morning.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 8:42,
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Not too bad thank you.Glad you had a nice hol. I could really fucking do with one myself.
FOUR MORE YEARS TO GO!!!!!!!!!
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 8:47,
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This was a cheap break. Got a cottage for 400 quid and didn't spend a lot more apart from meal in a very good restaurant. Start saving now and you could go next year.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 8:55,
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He does dye his hair though. Leaves a few 'silver highlights' so he can refute the accusation. The fucking pansy.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:05,
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There's a far greater chance of that happening.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:06,
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Ahh, that's not good, I'm due to be not far from there next month(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 8:59,
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Ha, shit. Ignore me, my geography is shit.I'll be over 100 miles further along the coast. I quickly looked at google maps, and for reasons I'm not sure of (aside from being a spastic), I though that Dartmoor was The New Forest.
What a twat.
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Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:03,
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Do you sort out the airports for Easyjet?(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:07,
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Have we established where you are going on holiday yet?Cornwall or Hampshire?
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:10,
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£10 says Norfolk, the dozy twerp.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:12,
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Shame you're going to be too far away from this excellent restaurant. Www.couchspolperro.com
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:11,
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I see they source their cheese from Loacally.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:17,
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The food is terrific. Had the 7 course taster menu:Tomato and black truffle consume.
Poached duck egg on asparagus.
Scallops with chorizo.
Roasted cod on crushed potato.
Seared duck with spinach.
Champagne jelly.
Cheese.
Accompanied with 5 different wines then port.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:21,
Reply)
Crikey...if that's a "taster" the full menu must be "death by overindulgence".
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:24, Reply)
Only £40 per head plus wine. Fantastic. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:27,
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That's bloody cheapWas it a wine pairing with each course or did you just have "a bottle of house red, garkon" ?
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:31,
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Wine pairing of 5 wines plus port, which was another £20 a head.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:32,
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That's how taster menus worka little bit of each dish so the chef can show off.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:30,
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The portions were a little larger than a typical taster menu.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:31,
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Last week was pretty good on here.The downside to it all is that there's this terrible Vagabond fellow who simply won't stop posting. Everyone else pretty much has been decent but he's a right Helmut.
If you're reading, Vag, do cock off, there's a dear. No-one's impressed with your lolwaki haircut tales.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 8:44,
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Actually that's not fair.Perhaps I'm the only one who isn't, in which case I sincerely apologise.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 8:50,
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i've been hoping you die from the first time i read one of your posts.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Jul 2012, 8:54,
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Excellent. People from /talk. Alright WP?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 8:56,
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I'm aces, you?
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:11,
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Splendid thanks. Had an excellent week in Cornwall. Now back to reality. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:13,
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I am reliably informed that HimJim poster (late of this parish)was the third winged cyclist out, in the Dulympic opening ceremony.
The 2' black dildo he was undoubtedly carrying was not visible.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:17,
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Well he was always going to be a cyclist.The fixed wheel idiot.
Shame he doesn't post here any more - he's good value.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:29,
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His work banned it.So, savage gay fisting: no problem, B3ta: BAN THIS SICK FILTH.
Makes sense.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:41,
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Gotta love a bit of Cornwall, I made it Brighton, considered carring on to cornwall, but the car almost overheated in the traffic, so i cut my losses and hit Sandbanks.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:21,
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I like Sandbanks. I seem to recall a good restaurant nearby, on one side of the chain ferry.You can keep Brighton though. Full of wankers.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:24,
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i meant to type bournemouth there, sandbanks being in bournemouth.I agree with you about Brighton, not s shining example of humanity.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:28,
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Bournemouthhas the highest precentage of CCTV coverage of anywhere in Europe. It also has an average resident's age of over 60, even though it's a university town. Without the student it'd be closer to 80.
It smell of wee-wee.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:36,
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That is both fair and right so to do.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 8:58,
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Alt: You're assuming that all the people on that beach were BritishMost of them were probably filthy forrins innit. The answer lies in the wording of your question; if it were "Are the British the ugliest PEOPLE in Europe?", possibly not. Is Britain as a NATION home to the ugliest people in Europe; possibly so.
HTH.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:27, Reply)
That's why you love meThat and the bribes. Good cheers matey boy, and yourself?
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:32, Reply)
Tip fucking top. Back from a superb holiday. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:34,
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I saw your pictures.Microbattered seems to have enjoyed herself.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:47,
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Definitely. She was on great form the whole week.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:49,
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have they closed OT too? it's like a morgue on heremaybe they should have one week of amalgamating all the boards.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:42,
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We're all over on the secret cool board. It's well LOL.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:46,
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You see, Monty, this humourous play on words or "joke" works on two levelsFirstly, it's suggesting that she enjoys high brow humour and, as such, may not understand Quinton's base wit and on the other hand, I'm suggesting that she's completely used to fisting and, in fact, loves it right up her.
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Kroney, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:51,
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i heard that she's a surrogate mother for cowsthat's how much she loves fisting
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:54, Reply)
"sophisticated" has an archaic secondary meaning of "decayed, rotten or smelly"which I believe would also apply here.
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Kroney, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:56,
Reply)
you're talking out of your arsewhich, incidentally, with a contraction of the correct muscles, swipe can also do in the smooth baritone of brian blessed
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:57, Reply)
(sophistication) (so·phis·ti·ca·tion) (s[schwa]-fis²t[ibreve]-ka¢sh[schwa]n) [Gr. sophistikos deceitful] the adulteration of food or medicine.
also "Dishonest or misleading (rare; primarily British English)" - we don't trust smart folk round 'ere.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 10:01,
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adulterated meaning unsafe or impurenothing to do with decayed, rotten or smelly.
right again, quinton. I don't know how i do it
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 10:04, Reply)
Unsafe, which rotting milk for example, would be.Adulterated with bacteria, for example.
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Kroney, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 10:06,
Reply)
noit goes;
Iron Age
Bronze Age
Archaic Times
Medieval Times
Queen Victoria
Disco
Big Brother
Today
twat
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 10:21, Reply)
Nope, I'm sorry.I'm sure I'm being frightfully dim here, but I just cannot see the humour.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:56,
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she's had more hands up her than the croc from punch and judyand a whole string of sausages
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:46, Reply)
Not me. I hardly notice if someone leaves until like, months afterwards. Unless they actually tell me they're leaving that is.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:53, Reply)
well you know what? thanks for taking parti don't think that's said enough, thanks to everyone for taking part, well done
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:56, Reply)
I'm pleased that you have enjoyed your hiatus, and I hope you are feeling a lot better for it.Here's to a productive and fruitful partnership in the future.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:46,
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QOTW got stepped.Now we're the Mos Eisley of b3ta. All the twats and trolls are going to come over here messing up our place until Rob gives them back the keys to their playroom.
Alt: probably not. Have you ever been to Germany?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:46,
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I like this a lotNot the redirection of the dregs of the internet, the phrase "Mos Eisley of b3ta". Although it does imply that there's an area of b3ta which is worse, the "Derby of b3ta"
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:54, Reply)
Oh shush. Talk's good.It's /Links you should be worried about.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 10:02,
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I did my morning commute in 31 minuteshow I shaved 5 minutes off my personal best I don't know
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Peej, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:46,
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Didn't stop halfway for an angry wank would be my guess(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:47,
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Nandrolone and a masking agentor you were following a pie lorry lol !!!
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:48,
Reply)
I would say the watch battery is dieing..you actually took 5 mins longer... sorry to ruin the illusion.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:54, Reply)
your wife's stopped putting out againthe surge in testosterone has ramped you up a gear, you could probably benchpress a bus right now
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 9:55, Reply)
Well if being turned on by her boss shitting the bed is what floats her boat, then good for her.Fucking weird, but good for her.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 10:02, Reply)
she hangs around oncology wards at night, hoping that a bowel cancer sufferer will mess their bed so she can climb ini'm surprised she hasn't hooked up with gonz
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 10:05, Reply)
Autism charity seeks CEOBeen sent this by Linkedin:
Autism Sussex is now seeking an exceptional CEO to provide inspiring leadership, help shape the charity’s future with vision and flair, and prepare it for a quantum leap forward. Amongst other priorities, the
successful candidate will need to think creatively about ways to increase service delivery, whilst also building a sustainable structure to support such services.
Many potential applicants on OT.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 10:08,
Reply)
Empathy with the client group though innit?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 10:10,
Reply)
Autists don't actually feel empathy...that's kinda one of the main things about Autistic people.They don't actually properly understand emotions or how other people are feeling or why they're feeling the way they are.
Idiot.
(, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 10:16, Reply)
I dreamt that we met last nightYour real name was Dan you had long wavy black hair, a pencil line beard and a massive hooked nose,, you were also only about 4 ft tall and you shouted a lot. There was no bumming
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 10:14,
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Excellent!Hearing about people's dreams never fails to fascinate.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 10:16,
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By which I mean 'bore the tits off me'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 10:17,
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That's because I just read Nakers' post.Prior to that I had 36 GGG's.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 10:21,
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 10:23,
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Well it's one wayto control your hideous moobs(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 10:20,
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I'm toned and athletic, you cheeky cunt.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 10:20,
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I have very short grey hair, no beard and a normal nose. I am 5'9'' and dislike bumming. I do shout a lot.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 10:17,
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You are "vincent" and I claim my collateral(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 30 Jul 2012, 10:24,
Reply)
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