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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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What would it take to get you to commit a murder?
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:51,
114 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
50p and a twix
(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:51,
Reply)
If the target is Bono, almost nothing.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:52,
Reply)
I certainly hope you hold him, thrill him and kiss him beforehand
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Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:55,
Reply)
I swear Batman Returns has the best soundtrack of all time.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:59,
Reply)
Working with my husband.
Seriously, I'm fucking close.
Someone cheer me up before I eat my own body weight in chocolate.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:54,
Reply)
he'll be dead soon
(
Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:56,
Reply)
That's all that's keeping me going at the moment.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:59,
Reply)
awwww :O(
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:00,
Reply)
Answer may contain traces of not being serious.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:04,
Reply)
*shakes fist*
Damn you
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:07,
Reply)
A clown lost his job last week
He's taking his employers to a tribunal for funfair dismissal.
(
Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:56,
Reply)
What is it you do with him, work wise, naturally.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:58,
Reply)
Naked jogging
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:59,
Reply)
We're co-ebaying.
He does the descriptions, I do the typing.
He seems to speak a different form of English to every human I've ever worked with. Apparently he's just 'logical' because he's an engineer, and I'm just being 'silly'.
I'm THIS fucking close to lamping him. *holds fingertips half an inch apart*
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:00,
Reply)
Have you tried Dragon Dictation? It's actually pretty good.
There was someone in the cab office who was the biggest fucking moron in the world who made me type out letters on plentoffish and do all the typing in his poker.
If he's an egineer then he should be able to type good enough not to need a dictator.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:03,
Reply)
"If you were any good at being an engineer we'd be in a house twice the size and I'd have half the work to do 'cus we'd have the maid you think I am".
Then storm off yelling "YEAH, WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD HAVE PAITENED IT MISTER INTERLECTUAL PROPERTY".
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:04,
Reply)
Excellent^
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:07,
Reply)
If he hadn't got divorced (or even married in teh first place)
he'd probably be well rich by now.
And I'd be living the life of riley.
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:09,
Reply)
Food thread
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broadsword now that's fresh, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:58,
Reply)
Who do you want killed?
Gaz me details and we can negotiate.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:59,
Reply)
Opportunity...
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 14:59,
Reply)
you just reminded me
Malc owes me 5 grand, two monkeys and a pony
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Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:04,
Reply)
Quincy!!!
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:05,
Reply)
Dr. Sloane!
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:07,
Reply)
Just one more thing....
Wait, I'm doing this wrong..
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:08,
Reply)
who's lookin atcha baby?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:09,
Reply)
Thus wuz no suicaid...
Thus wuz MUDDAH!
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:10,
Reply)
Put yer trousers on, love. You're NICKED.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:33,
Reply)
two hats!
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Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:27,
Reply)
God, I've missed you
All I need now is for Mono to come back, and I can sleep again.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:29,
Reply)
I'll be back proper tomoz
Right now I gotta keep my bitches straight
(One's a shittynese, the other's a staff)
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Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:32,
Reply)
Oh
dogs?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:33,
Reply)
Are you saying that Malc offered you that sum of money to kill someone?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:16,
Reply)
I AIN'T SAYIN NUFFIN COPPAHHHHHH
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Quintno EXPERIMENT RUINED CANCELLED, LEFT 4EVER, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:27,
Reply)
Murder? Never
I'm one of these crazy, laughable people that actually values human life.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:05,
Reply)
hippie
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:07,
Reply)
Mama said knock you out
/ac
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:08,
Reply)
"He was very quiet. kept himself to himself."
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:15,
Reply)
Keep your friends close
and the bodies of your victims under the floorboards of your south london flat
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:23,
Reply)
Sweating like Tia Sharp's granddad when cash in the attic come round
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:40,
Reply)
BAM!
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:46,
Reply)
a lolb4sh
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:06,
Reply)
Nothing really, I wouldn't be able to plan to kill someone without going.
"maybe this isn't the smartest move"
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PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:14,
Reply)
If soneone was trying to kill me or
any of my family, especially the kids, and the way to stop it was to kill them, I'd kill them.
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:16,
Reply)
Wouldn’t that just be manslaughter?
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:18,
Reply)
Yeah it wouldn't be murder.
Probably not even manslaughter if there was a legitimate threat to your life/family.
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PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:21,
Reply)
Maybe now, yes
but 3 or 4 years ago you'd have been done, thankfully the CPS seem to take a more "natural justice" view these days.
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:24,
Reply)
I bet every parent has one child they probably wouldn't go to those lengths for though
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:53,
Reply)
I'm an only child.
fuck.
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Slippery Mick ‏, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 21:09,
Reply)
Tell you what I could murder a pint
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:17,
Reply)
^^^^this, oh very much this^^^^
*goes in search of pub*
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:22,
Reply)
I fancy some of those bread balls with garlic butter
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:24,
Reply)
I can offer some meat balls with salty sauce
HTH xx
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:27,
Reply)
Oh my
Perhaps you could come up to my apartment first, and....
inspect my etchings?
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:30,
Reply)
I think you should start off cooking animal vaginas gonz
and not jump in at the deep end like this
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:22,
Reply)
proper cuntburgers????
or flapsjacks?
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localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:26,
Reply)
Minge-rsnaps
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:31,
Reply)
Being robin van persie is enough
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:35,
Reply)
Shall we call you a waaaaaambulance?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:37,
Reply)
Yes please
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 16:07,
Reply)
I see the idiot farm has had a breakout again.
www.b3ta.com/questions/footinmouthtwo/post1709419
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scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:39,
Reply)
Right now?
very little. A week before we were due to fly out, and with me having paid for almost everything, including his flights, tennis boy has just told me he's not coming on holiday.
Free trip to Barcelona, anyone?
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berk, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:40,
Reply)
But what will I tell my wife?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:43,
Reply)
Sounds like a good idea.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:47,
Reply)
Hang on
Why are you paying for his flights?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:48,
Reply)
So you're technically being dumped.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:49,
Reply)
No
it is a money issue. I was also told off for not being supportive.
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berk, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:50,
Reply)
He sounds like a real charmer.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:51,
Reply)
"How much do I have to pay you?"
"£200 darling"
"I thought it was £15, love"
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:52,
Reply)
BIN.HIM.OFF
What a fucking tit
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:51,
Reply)
There is a definite correlation: woman poster on B3ta = has a shit boyfriend/ husband.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:53,
Reply)
Man poster on b3ta = married WELL above him
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:54,
Reply)
This is also true
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:56,
Reply)
Yep. Definitely.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:58,
Reply)
This is true
Especially poor Tourettes
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:55,
Reply)
Sounds like you should try being more supportive
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:54,
Reply)
DTMFA.
For seriz.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 16:48,
Reply)
Are there too many blacks there?
Why are you still with that guy?
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PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:49,
Reply)
You can't choose who you fall in love with.
Some of us wouldn't choose the partners we have, if you could. Ask your missus...
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:53,
Reply)
I'm fucking charming and witty as you very well know you cunt.
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PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:57,
Reply)
Of course you are dear.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 16:01,
Reply)
Too fucking right.
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PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 16:06,
Reply)
get a man shaped cushion to take
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glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:51,
Reply)
Inflate-a-mate
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:52,
Reply)
Now With Easy Clean Full Digestive Tract!
so you don't have to sit in restaraunts alone
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:54,
Reply)
I hope this product is available in the shops
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 15:55,
Reply)
there's a number of hideously ugly fat people on this very board who would jump at the apportunity to share the same room with another person let alone a woman
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Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 16:00,
Reply)
Not this weekend though, guild wars 2 is coming out.
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PsychoChomp, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 16:07,
Reply)
It could be worse. You could have drilled in to your left thumb like I did yesterday. It hurts. A lot.
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 16:00,
Reply)
You're bearing it with fortitude, though.
I've heardly heard you complain at all.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 16:02,
Reply)
I don't think I've met a more stoic man
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Kroney, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 16:54,
Reply)
when will there be pictures?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 16:03,
Reply)
I did text a photo of it to Jeff yesterday in response to a question about my serious maiming.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 16:06,
Reply)
it my throbbing cock
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 16:07,
Reply)
Mods!!!!!
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 16:08,
Reply)
Yes?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 16:12,
Reply)
Surely that is a cunty mcwank thing to do.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 16:53,
Reply)
Surely is.
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berk, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 17:09,
Reply)
punch him up the prostate.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 17:11,
Reply)
I agree with those other people
he sounds like a douche.
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 17:14,
Reply)
Oh berk =(
Move on, he sounds more and more like a royal dickhead and treats you like a mug. Do you really need this kind of shit in your life?
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 17:02,
Reply)
i'd do anything for you gonz, you know that.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 16:51,
Reply)
*stolen from my own facebook 'cus I totally made it up myself 'cus I'm really whitty*
We should get Bruno Mars and Meatloaf together to form a list of realistic expectations of things one would do for love.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 16:53,
Reply)
Meatloaf would probably eat Bruno.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 16:53,
Reply)
totally nicked my own reponse to your witty facebook post
The mighty Loaf is a little non-commital viz-a-viz what he wouldn't do for someone. I mean, all the running into hell and back is fine, and shows the potential roots of a strong bond, but if the thing he won't do is "stop masturbating over pictures of your mum" then I think the relationship is off to a pretty rocky start.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 16:59,
Reply)
would it make a good photograph
I'll do anything (ish) for art
btw - the guinea pig I may or may not be adopting is called Gonzo
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 17:13,
Reply)
it'll shit everywhere
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 17:15,
Reply)
oh :(
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 17:18,
Reply)
oh, bravo.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 21 Aug 2012, 17:20,
Reply)
hahahahahahaha
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 17:27,
Reply)
Stop the internet
it's not getting better than this, people.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 17:29,
Reply)
it really won't today
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 17:31,
Reply)
I blame the MOD's
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 17:34,
Reply)
yeah', well, yeah', well.... well.... yeah'...... well..... if you called it Naked_Ape it would ..... yeah', well....well...welll...yeah. THAT.
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G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 21 Aug 2012, 17:41,
Reply)
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