Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Olympics, Paralympics and...We are only addressing a minority with these games targeting two sections of society, we need to be more inclusive and to this end I propose we have the Chavlympics.
This would address the needs of the underachieving class of scratters who populate a fair percentage of most countries (at least in the first world).
What events would they have for the Chavlympics? E.g. 100Meh you have to be carrying a small child, a large open can of cider, be smoking a joint and be showing 4 inches of underwear in your daft jeans. You can't drop anything on the way or you lose your benefits for 6 months.
Alt: What would you win a gold medal for (apart from trolling)?
Alt Alt: with all the life size laminated cutouts of athletes in the supporting stores, which OTer would you like a laminated life size cut out of and why?
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b3tz, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:28,
95 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
and improves social cohesion(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 17:43,
Reply)
Advanced incubationCompetitors must fire out as many sprogs as possible in the 4-year gap between games. Bonus points for naming them all Wayne and telling them apart by their surnames.
Alt: Best trolling-induced hissy fits
AltAlt: Me. I'd keep it covered in my attic and NEVER AGE
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:33, Reply)
100m pyjama-clad shoppingDog-fighting
Alt:
Fixing stuff in work and wanking
AltAlt:
Monty - to scare burglars
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:34,
Reply)
Alt, having a satisfying dump. The most enjoyable part of the morning, 10 minutes of reading a magazine, and parking my last 24 hours of trough.
Alt alt, a laminated B3tan? You should be on Dragons' Den. You'd make a fortune.
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:36, Reply)
Reading about others, however, is not.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:38,
Reply)
I actually take exception to this.I grew up in poverty, am working class and wear baggy jeans. This is just as offensive as suggesting a curry munching contest or a fried chicken eating competition.
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:41, Reply)
maybe if you did more of the latteryour jeans would fit better and wouldn't be so baggy?
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:42,
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This is a brilliant idea. More food for skinny people. It would solve global thingy.
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:44, Reply)
I didn't realise you were a fisherman, Doze.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:48,
Reply)
What you're saying is, b3tz is a massive racist and should be banned?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:42,
Reply)
I've always thought thatCENSORED BY MOD was a bit of a cunt. Personally
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:53, Reply)
Someone has put my friends name and number on a bunch of websites saying she's got pigs for sale for £10She's had hundreds of calls over the last two days. Who knew there was so many pig buyers.
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:53, Reply)
Times are tough old boyand bacon tastes even better if you kill it yourself
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:55, Reply)
"someone"yeah.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 15:59,
Reply)
Not me guv, I didn't even have her mobile number, I've haven't seen her for a few years.(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:04, Reply)
Alright?I'd like a lifesize laminated cutout of Wilf.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:08,
Reply)
I got a letter yesterday telling me my mortgage repayment rate is going up.This is extremely bad news.
I've started the ball rolling with regards to going back to court re my kid. This is extremely scary news.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:12,
Reply)
go and see an IFAMortgage advice is usually commission based, so no upfront fees to pay.
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:13, Reply)
IVA = barge pole as young master Chomplington here says.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:16,
Reply)
Fixed term ran out.Due to barge pole sitch, I just have to take it. Even my own lender can't help me. It's already gone up once.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:17,
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It's a pitiful state of affairs.I spent the two grand Quint gave me on whizz weeks ago. Wish I hadn't, now.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:30,
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Sho' nuff.It's all a bit alarming.
What I have to do is go to my administrator and they will have to reconvene my creditors and ask them to accept a smaller monthly amount. Lolz all round.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:29,
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ouchStill, it is better than bankrupcy
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:30,
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If they say no, that's exactly what will happen.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:31,
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This thread is shit, b3tzYou could have at least stuck around for a bit to make sure it got off the ground.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:10,
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Could be worse though.Could be some paralympic Midlands wankstain shitting on and on interminably about some bollocks album they've made with the cover designed by some cripple who wouldn't even get on the gallery on Take Hart he's so shit.
So that's good.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:15,
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I COULD START ONE OF THOSE THREADS!!!!COOL!!!
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:18,
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Dear RobI used to think ignore 2.0 was bent and shit, but I've now realised what a marvellous boon it can be, and I would like to thank you sincerely for its introduction.
Yours,
Montgomery Peregrine St John Boyce, esq.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:19,
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Does anyone know where Monty has gone?I wanted to tell him about some bollocks album I've made with the cover designed by some cripple who wouldn't even get on the gallery on Take Hart he's so shit.
Monty?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:21,
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I am now singing I.G.N.O.R.E to the tune of 'D.I.V.O.R.C.E' by Tammy Wynette.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:23,
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Are you spelling it with 2 Gs?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:56,
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Don't bother. People with real lives are sodding off now, leaving just the socially inept. *Watches*
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:20, Reply)
\o/ for social ineptitude*pisses on vicar*
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:28,
Reply)
Radgeweight - GlassingHow about you have two participants no heavier than 60Kgs having at each other with a broken bottle of thunderbird with padded baseball caps in burberry check...
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b3tz, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:22,
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Alt: Swearing, despairing at the stupidity of humanity.Alt Alt: I'd definitely have a life-size cut out of rswipe, to use as a distraction for the more sweatyhanded stalkers. Obviously it would need to be triple-laminated, though.
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the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:28,
Reply)
i don't think they do printers that bigthe cardboard would have to be A0.00000000000000000000001
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:30, Reply)
i love badger, he's lovelyi hate quentin, he's hateful
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rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:36,
Reply)
you're a madwomanyou invite the creepy pervposts about people fucking a soggy hole into your cardboard cutout, but a little light-hearted banter from quinten sends you packing?
/i'llneverunderstandwomen blog
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:40, Reply)
4x400m LED TV Relay PursuitA gang of 4 participants have to run with an LED TV and each time they are caught by a Dixon's security guard, they have to hand off to the next member
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b3tz, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:32,
Reply)
Have you seen 'Im Gonna Git You Sucka'?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:45,
Reply)
blaxploitation parodyHeartily recommended.
See also: Black Dynamite.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:57,
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They have the Ghetto Olympics on there.Basically your idea, but from 1987. And funny.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:59,
Reply)
In other news local "super club" is doing an offer of 50% off entry price with a nandos recipt.Way to attract the best people.
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:44, Reply)
Gosh that really does sound "super" alright.Bound to get the top class local celebrities bombing down the Redways on their Grifters in their hurry to get in.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:46,
Reply)
i've emailed my clients with an itinerary for tomorrow's meeting in BasignstokeI want McD's for lunch, Nando's for dinner and a night at something called the 'Bang Bar'
(, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:48, Reply)
I went to a rave in a mental home in Amazingstoke on three occasions.And to a nightclub under a motorway flyover. A father and son raving team I had the misfortune to know from the pub cornered me in the gents. 'Go on Dad, give him a dab'. Then a really rough bird asked me to massage her thighs.
Ugh. The 'good' old days...
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:53,
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'Ray' and 'Little Ray' are their names.'Little Ray' looks like Herve Villechaise.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:54,
Reply)
A little "plane", if you will(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:56,
Reply)
I expect they aren't around.They've probably been nick(nack)ed.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:57,
Reply)
On a different noteI saw this and for some reason thought of you:
www.theage.com.au/entertainment/art-and-design/portrait-of-the-artist-as-a-walking-drug-experiment-20120828-24y6r.html
Fancy a pint on me at some point?
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:59,
Reply)
HahahaHe seems like a bit of an idiot.
Love one, old bean.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 17:02,
Reply)
Shot put with puppies in bags, how far can you throw it down the canal.(
SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:46,
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You're a bad man, Bobby.In other news, hello.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:51,
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Alright love?I as gonna write kittums but who could be mean to a kittum.
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SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:53,
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Kittens can fuck off.Puppies is where it's at.
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 29 Aug 2012, 17:01,
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The Iceland Dash?Completely fill a trolley from Iceland in the shortest time possible, while covering all the major food groups of fat, carbs, fizzy drink, and sweets.
Alt: sleeping.
AltAlt: Who says I haven't already got one?
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:53,
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Man, that would be like £17 worth!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:57,
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And then get it past the security guard without paying?(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 29 Aug 2012, 16:58,
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Of course!I mean, like the ^man said^, it's £17 worth!
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b3th Not shit. Not mod., Wed 29 Aug 2012, 17:00,
Reply)
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