I'm hungover as fuck.
A young American lady came in to the pub last night, and got chatting at the bar. Really lovely lady, doing research on medieval manuscripts.
We were going to do a line clean anyway, but due to nice company, it turned from a quick "flush the lines and go home, sort it out in the morning" to a "right, we'll do it the old fashioned way and drink all the waste" and now my brain hurts.
Rest of the weekend was mad busy, the student types have returned in full force, and the sales of ludicrously expensive jager-bombs went through the roof. Idiots. I think i'm getting old, as i though one lad looked BOUT 12, turned out he was born in 94, and i had no good reason to not give him a pint.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Sep 2012, 9:35, 7 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

Shit. I went to uni in '94
I think being reminded of how long ago that is, was more than good reason not to serve the cheeky little upstart.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Sep 2012, 9:40, Reply)

he called me sir.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Sep 2012, 9:58, Reply)

I should think so too.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:03, Reply)

+ of man cum, RIGHT IN THE KISSER

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 17 Sep 2012, 9:41, Reply)

he would have enjoyed that the disgusting bender

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Sep 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Did you get to fuck her?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Sep 2012, 9:44, Reply)

no

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Sep 2012, 9:58, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1729455
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:32, Reply)

Hey Windy

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 17 Sep 2012, 9:47, Reply)

hello'

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Sep 2012, 9:59, Reply)

Ok?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:00, Reply)

if i'm being honest, no,
i feel like i want to die.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:07, Reply)

It would be inappropriate of me to extend any sympathy to you, what with it being a hangover and all
Nevertheless, if I were with you I'd croon a gentle melody in the hope that it might help to soothe your aching brow.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:08, Reply)

Could you maybe extend some sympathy in this direction?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:09, Reply)

Are your aliments alcohol induced?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:10, Reply)

I've got an all day breakfast bap.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:10, Reply)

YES
There was a cafe near here that used to have a sign up saying "All Day Breakfast - Served until 11"
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:11, Reply)

excellent.
this is the sort of marketing we need more of in this country.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:12, Reply)

Portsmouth, ladies and gentlemen
Being shit so you don't have to
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:13, Reply)

i heard about the whole lift debacle,
top work there.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:17, Reply)

Lift debacle?
Do you mean the one at the spinnaker?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:27, Reply)

HOW MANY LIFTS DO YOU HAVE??

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:41, Reply)

I hope you set harley on them.
yap yap yap grrrr
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Mon 17 Sep 2012, 9:47, Reply)

she was asleep, but next time...

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Sep 2012, 9:59, Reply)

Granddaughter #1 was born in 94.
She's off to uni this month, and very excited about it.
I still can't believe she's not that little five year old I met back in 99.

I feel old :-(
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Sep 2012, 9:50, Reply)

lololdlol

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Sep 2012, 9:59, Reply)

I'm still under forty!
I can cling onto that for another 15 months yet.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:07, Reply)

39?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:12, Reply)

If I ever have a drink in your pub, I would check my change twice.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:17, Reply)

well,
i see that joke didn't work well.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:24, Reply)

I certainly didn't get it.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:29, Reply)

I left my first job after Uni in '94
and I'd been there 5 years. :(
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 17 Sep 2012, 9:55, Reply)

THEY'RE 18 AND THEY LOOK LIKE 10 YEAR OLDS.
WE'VE MADE SORT OF MISTAKE SOMEWHERE.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Sep 2012, 9:59, Reply)

No wonder there are paedophiles hiding around every corner nowadays.
They've been conditioned to it by all the 18 year olds leading them on by pretending to be 10.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:02, Reply)

one girl got the hump with me because i wouldn't serve her without ID,
and i tell no lie, when i walked in, i thought the lad she was with was her dad, turned out he was a boyfriend.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:09, Reply)

*something about policemen looking younger*
*sits back in rocking chair*
*looks for werthers originals*
*realises has wrong glasses on, spends 20 minutes looking for them, finds them round neck on a chain*
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 17 Sep 2012, 10:04, Reply)