Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Good news for fatties! !!!www.telegraph.co.uk/technology/news/9570363/Kitkat-makers-Nestle-hide-tracking-devices-in-chocolate-bars.html
Not too sure about what happens if you swallow the chip by mistake though.
alt: or maybe you'd prefer £40million?
www.independent.co.uk/news/world/asia/40m-for-man-who-woos-moguls-lesbian-daughter-8180748.html
(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 14:56, 218 replies, latest was 13 years ago)
fucking retarded ideaI'd stick the GPS up my arse and hope for a bit of bumfun
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:01,
Reply)
*rimshot*right, I'm off to Hong Kong.
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:08,
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No, you are quite right not to, Two Hats.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:16,
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You've always struck me as very intuitive.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:21,
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Maybe you'd prefer to be floating dead in Micheal Barrymore's pool with severe anal injuries?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:15,
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fuck's sakejust found out a mate of mine is shagging some ropey old bird he works with, and his wife's way hotter than this rat faced cunt
what's up with people?
(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:15, Reply)
I don't know the people involved here, but I'm going to hazard a guess:Wife - hot, but won't put out.
ROB - rat-faced cunt, but offers it on a plate to him.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:17,
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This^plus hot people tend to be shit andd lazy in bed
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:19,
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Oh, I'm not hot.I wouldn't pretend I was.
Either he's been very unlucky or I've been very lucky, though.
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Kroney, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:26,
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You call Cavey "gallic" a lot, do you?Fucking Legless defence twice in one day. What's the world coming to?
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Kroney, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:27,
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erm, no kroneyyou stupid?
i thought CQ was cavy, i was gallic replying to you
(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:28, Reply)
Maybe his wife physically abuses himCome on Q, we need to know all the facts before we condemn the man
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:19,
Reply)
to be honest his wife is one of the most miserable people i've ever metbut even if she only put out once a year, even if i was completely single i wouldn't poke this ratty woman
and this bloke's younger and better looking than me, what a nob
(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:20, Reply)
I'd much rather be with an ok looking clever/funny chickThan a gorgeous idiot.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:29,
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she was smart as fuck, and i'm sure there was a sense of humour there somewhereshe just didn't like me, TH
(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:30, Reply)
for seriousi guess i was a bit of a div when i first met her, fair play to be fair in all fairness
(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:33, Reply)
You are nothing if not fair.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:38,
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When I was a kid, and I'd say "That's not fair"My Mum would reply "Neither's a black man's bum!"
Imagine that!
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:55,
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It's probably him what's making her miserable.Give her my number.
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Kroney, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:29,
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she was miserable well before they metif she hadn't taken against me from the off we'd be wed by now
(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:30, Reply)
Maybe rat face will fist him while he asphixiates himself and is up to his nuts in a corgi's gutsPEOPLE HAVE NEEDS Q
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:21,
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^ The benefits of a public school education right here.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:22,
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ratface woman's last married boyfriend died while shopping for wotsitshow 'lol' is that, naked ape?
(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:23, Reply)
100% totally seriousher name's tess, his name was neil, he started seeign her behind his mrs' back, then lead them both along practically living with both of them on different days of the week
keeled over in the crisp aisle of a supermarket, massive heart attack, died on the spot
it was well 'lol'
(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:25, Reply)
he was in his early 40s, very overactive person, builder, ran his own company, two wives, no kidsdead, bosh
(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:26, Reply)
probably had an undiagnosed congenitalol heart defect(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:27,
Reply)
more than likelyplus he'd wear shit loads of cheap aftershave
tbh i'm glad the prick's dead
(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:28, Reply)
A cautionary tale, if ever I heard one.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:27,
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totally 'lol' thoughhis wife and girlfriend didn't even have a punch up at this funeral, but both got half his ashes*
*ok that's a guess, but i assume so
(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:27, Reply)
They should put a health warning on the packet or something.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:29,
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FFS come on you lot, stop being so shit.It's a whole internet full of anotherwankers in here.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:47,
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I'm trying to do some work, sozgaz me if it gets "good" again and I'll pop in
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:50,
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I've been excellent value all dayIt's those other cunts who are being shit.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 15:56,
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You're currying on Sat incha?The baby pumpkin dish is great.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:00,
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I am indeed.I've already checked out the menu and was looking at the Tinda dish.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:01,
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Oh God I found this funny.Help me.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:03,
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It got me too.Is this what is has come to today?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:05,
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No, it just means that today has been worse than Nakers. You, unfortunately, are still you.Humanity's lowest ebb.
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Kroney, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:08,
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There is one simple escape.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:11,
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there is a hole in the ground in the dungeon at Warwick castle the size of a man curled up, it was also part of the sewage system and people would be locked in and left to die(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:14,
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Really?I'll pay half the train fare to send anotherwanker there.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:15,
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Entry to Warwick Castle costs more than your entire food budget for a month.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:17,
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At one point in history they packed the room completely with some poor sodsit was the coldest winter on record. When they finally opened the doors they had to chop out the prisoners with axes...
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:17,
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Wahey!Thanks Q. I was hoping someone would come up with something.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:25,
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TH deserves all the credit, it was a poor effort on my parti just didn't commit
(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:28, Reply)
It was lacking a 'killer payoff' for me.Sorry quiz. It's a 'no' from me on this one.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:29,
Reply)
are you saying monty's no good at sucking cock?because I have it on good authority...
(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:33, Reply)
you put in a lot of effort, technique's not great, could be worked onall in all, 6 out of ten
(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:38, Reply)
:o(man, I can't do nuffink right.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:39,
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i heard it's like one of Tulisa's concerts...... no one comes
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:37,
Reply)
Sadly for Nakie-noo here the grading of posts hasn't been changed to match the new E-Bacc school system.Even were the sole poster on a given day he'd still be Ungraded.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:12,
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I concur with this statementand hereby personally endorse all future Tangledupinblue posts and/or threads
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:02,
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Well that's good enough for me.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:03,
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I feel as if I have really made it now.I may have to quote you in my sig.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:04,
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I can see that my words are going to carry a lot of weight from now on.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:11,
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Sorry what I meant was'you're a You'ss's's's's's''u'u'u'uu N'shutthatD'our yoghurt-weaving Green Field at glastonbury eco-house dwelling clove baccy smoking WOMAD Kershaw prick wanker'
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:11,
Reply)
I like how this grows each time.Soon the internet won't be wide enough to fit it all in.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:17,
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It's like those old 'lip-smackin' Pepsi ads.'Member? 'member Pepsi?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:20,
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All it needs is a hip, drug-referencing pastiche on a t-shirt.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:26,
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Best loldrugs tshirt of all time has to be'Adihash - gives you speed!'
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:28,
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People used to claim the "Stussy" logo said 'I am gay'(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:29,
Reply)
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:29,
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And with that TRIUMPH OF THE INTERNET, I'm going home.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:30,
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i hope you fall of your recycled bike into the path of a butchers truck(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:32,
Reply)
HahahaI hope your eco-cycle hits a bio-diesel slick and turns your left leg to Serrano ham.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:37,
Reply)
my godthat's terrifying - encouraging people to literally swallow more surveillance
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:32,
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I'll bet the people who makeThe Tracker bar are kicking themselves at an opportunity missed.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:35,
Reply)
Waste of a click.The popular page is clearly broken. Neither Beach Boy jokes from yesterday made it to the pop page, so my only conclusion is that it must be broken.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:41,
Reply)
3 of my posts are on there so seems fine to me...(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:43,
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Either that, or the jokes were shit.(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:44,
Reply)
i very much doubt that(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:44,
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I'm ready to go home.Another day of these gormless fucker users of mine forcing me to do work. FML, dude. F. M. L.
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Kroney, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:45,
Reply)
What the what?Do you mean stepped? What was the reason?
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:49,
Reply)
"asking to be banned and then coming back, I don't get it?"i've posted on talk that the other profile was all broken and that
secret mod has a vendetta against me :(
(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:52, Reply)
I read that in the voice of Scooby-Doo.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:56,
Reply)
Oh man I wish.I am so fucking poor I've given up weed by mistake.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:59,
Reply)
ManI'm getting some tomorrow for the first time in AGES. I shall think of you while I'm giggling like a fool.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:02,
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:o(I used to get excellent hash from Gosport 'back in the day'
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:03,
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Uncle Scaryou're so weird
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Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 16:59,
Reply)
What have I missed whilst I've been having a nap in my shed?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:06,
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Just like in my begging cup :o((
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:10,
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you idioteveryone knows you have to put a bit of change in there to jingle and get people's attention.
not too much mind, too much change and people will think you're secretly rich
(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:11, Reply)
How many more months to go on the IVA?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:12,
Reply)
Four more years as of this month,then I have to remortgage and give them what I make.
It's really getting me down.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:13,
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Can't you remortgage now to end it more quickly?(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:16,
Reply)
No because no-one will give me the mortgage.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:19,
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Ah! Of course. Hadn't thought of that. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:24,
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Isn't being manageably out of your depthnot better than being preposterously, 'oh fuck I'm going to end up homeless and kneecapped' out of your depth, though?
(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:16, Reply)
It is, but the thought of another four years of this is doing my lid in.It feels like forever already.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:25,
Reply)
I'm not saying that my financial problems even compare, given the scope of your ownbut I had to borrow a significant sum to finish university (amongst other things) and I will still be paying that back until May 2015. It is astonishingly shit, being broke, especially combined with the knowledge that you will be broke for some years to come.
But.
You'll get it sorted eventually.
(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:29, Reply)
jesus, wouldn't bankruptcy be preferable?there are certain kinds you can get where you only pay your excess income for twelve months and then the rest is written off
you'd lose your house though
(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:17, Reply)
I desperately want to leave my flat to my kid.Realistically I'll never get to buy another one if I lose this one. My mother's place is worth a fortune but she'll outlive me by 30 years or more, probably.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:21,
Reply)
If he misses a single month of repayments they'll make him bankrupt anyway. Dreadful position to be in. Regardless of my pisstake of the penniless twat I do genuinely feel for him.
The penniless twat.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:26,
Reply)
i keep trying to think of ways to improve the situationbut he's probably already aware of things like protected income rates and taht
(, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:32, Reply)
Has anyone checked the calendar lately?(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:27,
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Yes.Some diabetic flid has ruined my B4SHTHR34D.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:29,
Reply)
Ha ha. Craig Charles. Ha ha ha. Great choice Bartles.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:33,
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Are you coming on Saturday?It's just that if you are, I'll pack an emergency Mars Bar, just in case you come over a little poorly.
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JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:41,
Reply)
Any more thoughts about working in Poland?(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:48,
Reply)
Yes. Think it will happen. Will make final decision in the next week or so. Mrs Battered is up for going. (
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:54,
Reply)
I'm sorry to say I won't be. Fuck up with the diary and my woman. She changed last weekend to seeing her son, so I had to give up going to the bash, so we could be together this weekend. I'm not happy about this.
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Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:45,
Reply)
you should be.I know I'd rather be doing sex than watching monty eat curry
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CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:48,
Reply)
Much the same gurgling sounds tbh.(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 27 Sep 2012, 17:53,
Reply)
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