Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I left the house to find a turd on my doorstep, own up who dun it?It's a bit bloody early but I'm very excited about my corporate away day today! Have you been on these wank fests before?
Alt: do you floss? I think I should floss more
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 6:44,
141 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
Hotel outside winchesterActually these things aren't too bad and its a free pass to get smashed for free.
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 7:30,
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If it's Lainston House then I envy you.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:23,
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Nah it's called Norton Park, its near micheldever(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:29,
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Micheldever is a bit shit.I don't know Norton Park though.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:30,
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The Dever Arms pub used to be alright.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:31,
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There are some nice bits around it though, I think it's part of a chain tbh(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:31,
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So it's a Partridge-style travel tavern.I see.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:32,
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If it had been me, it would have been put through your letterboxand set on fire.
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Kroney, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 7:39,
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You don't set fire to the turd, you put it in a paper bag and set fire to that.The wet turd inside is a little surprise for you when you try to stamp the fire out.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:26,
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I think you should have used the turd to floss with.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:00,
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My last job was as a conference and banqueting manager at a hotel in Warwickshireand I used to have to deal with tossers like you all the time.
This is why I left a turd on your doorstep.
You were supposed to slip over on it.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:25,
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It's enough to earn this a click.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:29,
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It was Brian Jacks. I paid him £50 to do it.There was an almighty stench outside mine for a week or so a while back. Couldn't find the source of it until I worked out that it was a patch of moss which was dead and brown - my Holmesian powers of deduction led me to conclude it was fox urine wot dun it.
Alt: I don't but I really need to as my gums are fucked. Thanks for asking, you weird flid.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:25,
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Difficult buggersHave you heard Marcus Brigstock's 'Abahamic faiths' rant? It's rather lol
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:35,
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I have not. He has his moments.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:42,
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That'll be the all the methadone that has fucked your gums.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:30,
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Why would that make the moss outside my house smell?I'm starting to wonder about you, sunshine.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:32,
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Because you had to wipe your arse with it after spending your last pennies on skaG(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:33,
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Nah that's what your kid's face is for.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:35,
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At the risk of sounding like DozerI am listening to a song by Nazareth. I didn't know this band existed until yesterday. It's got a cowbell/jam block in it. Cowbells/jam blocks are my new standard by which a song is judged. Without one, a song is nothing to me.
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Kroney, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:32,
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I love those scotch cunts.Is it 'Hair of the Dog'?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:33,
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That would be the oneIt is number three on my cowbell playlist. You wouldn't like the other two
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Kroney, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:35,
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I'm listening to OpethMight be too early for prog death metal
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:34,
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It's ALWAYS too early for that nonsense.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:34,
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Here's another idea: pop off this mortal coil instead.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:38,
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You're recommending he listens to some Gothic Dream Pop instead?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:39,
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Of course!I'm all over that shit like Nakers on his doorstep.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:40,
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'Mississipi Queen' by Mountain is next on your hitlist of cowbell classix.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:34,
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You will thank me.I will drip-feed you other tips over the coming days until you are ENTIRELY WITHIN MY POWER.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:37,
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59p on iTunes.Even if I thought it was mediocre it'd be worth a purchase
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Kroney, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:44,
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It's excellent.Their Live LP, 'Climbing' and 'Nantucket Sleighride' are all well worth a go.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:57,
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Carribean Queen by Billy Ocean is next on your hitlist of songs with queen in the title classix(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:37,
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it also features in my 'weirdest text received ever'from my brother at about 5:45 on a weekday morning
'Billy Ocean 'Caribbean Queen' - CLASSIC'
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:39,
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Perhaps he thought you were sharing the same dream.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:40,
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if you dig cowbell and jam blocksWhy aren't you listening to LCD Soundsystem?
(, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:52, Reply)
Please sir! I know, sir!Because they're shit, sir.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:58,
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I'm surprised you don't like them actuallyDanceable, good musicianship, cowbells. Y U NO LUV LCD?
(, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:03, Reply)
I almost never floss but my teeth are magnificent. I'm very lucky in that regard.
(, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:43, Reply)
Thank goodness for that!IT'S OK EVERYONE, PANIC OVER.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:44,
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My teeth are all over the placeIf I bite an apple it looks like its been savaged by wolverines
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:49,
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^ Naked_Ape, not only a bent spastic but a Ken Dodd lookalike(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:56,
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Do you mind? You're putting me off my breakfast by mentioning that creature.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:03,
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In other news; I consider this thread to be really quite poor.Please all take a moment to think through how you can increase the quality of your efforts.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 8:57,
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I'm suggesting that Nakers should stab himself.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:02,
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Or someone else from here could stab him, I don't mind.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:02,
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Oh alright., I suppose I'll do it.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:05,
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I like it.It's got botdogs, Brian Jacks and cowbells in it.
So far Kroney's not mentioned the different types of brakes available for a Mark II Golf - could be a great deal worse I'd say.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:02,
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Alright Montypoops.(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:17,
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How's it hanging?(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:23,
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Today, I am dressing to the left.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:24,
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we used to have a weekend in turnberry in my last job.all comp. it's fun to get smashed on whiskey that's 20 quid a glass.
fucking financial crisis :(
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:11,
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Wasn't me nakkers,I for one don't think you are worse than nakkers.
I have been to a few, we learnt to beatbox at one conference, and being the licensed trade, there is always rivers and rivers of free booze and usually a couple of live bands.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:18,
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you know what's totes hilare?bankrupt companies that don't pay their bills and then get upset with you for withdrawing your services and going to debt collectors, that's totes hilare.
stupid vets, i hope all their fucking puppies die of anal cancer
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fucking pretend doctor cunts.want me to go round and have a word? I'm led to believe that the a weegie accent is quite intimidating.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:25,
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you're a big gorgeous ball of fluffyou couldn't intimidate a hamster
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I fucking could. I would intimidate the shit right out of their hamsters.probably have a good cry about it afterwards, then go back and apologise. Maybe volunteer for a while with them.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:27,
Reply)
i'm gonna put on all dogs go to heaven and an american tail and have a good cryand maybe a wank
(, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:30, Reply)
oh fucking don't! you'll have me going in a minute.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:32,
Reply)
if you've ever watched an american tail and not cried you're not even human(, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:37, Reply)
What if I've not watched An American Tail, but I have cried?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:42,
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I fit into this demographic.Well, I would if I was a fucking cry-baby wanker like you.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:44,
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I'm in touch with my emotions.Birds love all that 'sensitive' shit.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:46,
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they love it more if you slap them, THEN cry over american tailwomen don't know what they want, so they'll settle for schizophrenic, over sensitive and violent
(, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:49, Reply)
they love it best of all if you slap them with your 'American Tail'(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:54,
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totally chased my mrs around once slapping her with minethat was totally lol
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i don't like ikeatheir coffee cups are too small and their shop is a big windowless furniture prison
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you're a harsh man, monty boyceyou're dead inside, and it's society's fault
(, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:47, Reply)
Gosh that's totes hilare alright!!!(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:27,
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It certainly sounds like a cautionary tale.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:32,
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i don't like it mont, i want to help these people but they make it difficult for themselvesplus i can only help for cash. cold, hard, sexy cash
(, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:32, Reply)
Jeff Lynne was on Jools Holland last night.He could be Chas Hodges' twin brother. In fact that's who I thought it was.
As you were.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:47,
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1. bloke out of ELO2. bloke out of Chas & Dave
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:53,
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trebord.wordpress.com/2009/12/28/livin-thing/
www.celebtime.co.uk/the_acts/original_artists/chas-hodges.html
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:55,
Reply)
you really are worse than nakers.(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 9:49,
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how about thisIF U WERE KILLED TOMORROW, I WOULDNT GO 2 UR FUNERAL CUZ ID B N JAIL 4 KILLIN DA PERSON THAT KILLED U!
......__________________
...../_==o;;;;;;;;______[]
.....), ---.(_(__) /
....// (..) ), ----"
...//___//
..//___//
WE TRUE HOMIES
WE RIDE TOGETHER
WE DIE TOGETHER
send this GUN to everyone you care about including me if you care. C how many times you get this, if you get a 13 your A TRUE HOMIE
(, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 10:01, Reply)
you didn't come up with that!(
mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 10:05,
Reply)
Yeah, I stole it off Frightguy, basically the same as taking money from his wallet and then replacing it with dog shit eh?(, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 10:07, Reply)
no, just makes you a fucking prick.christ, you might want to think about your replies before posting them.
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mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Wed 3 Oct 2012, 10:08,
Reply)
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