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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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wedding puns!
as kroney is about to propose to his beloved on their holiday, we need some good french wedding puns.

alt: make a pun about any b3tan.

altalt: it's friday. what's for lunch?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:08, 176 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
"Love, honour, and surrender"
I don't know, I'm still fucking half asleep.

Alt: No.

AltAlt: Broccoli and stilton soup
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:11, Reply)
Altalt: I love that stuff.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:12, Reply)
It is excellent.

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:12, Reply)
Altalt: chicken fajitas and home-made refried beans.
OM NOMMY NOM-NOMS!!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:11, Reply)
New burrito place has opened in town
Payday treat for me, I think.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:12, Reply)
I left my lunch in the car :(
Why would you mock me like this, WHY?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:13, Reply)
I left my cake out in the rain.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:14, Reply)
Did it order new plastic windows for it's tin?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:15, Reply)
Hahaha

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:17, Reply)
lol

(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:32, Reply)
I'm glad you are here to see this

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:33, Reply)
I'm taking a break from putting up new shelves.
Plastic shelves.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:36, Reply)
lol
Isn't that the sort of thing monty should be doing for you? Are you saying he is some sort of limp wristed useless excuse for a man?
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:38, Reply)
What it means is that I am a bullying sadist who never lifts a fucking finger.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:52, Reply)
can you come on fri???? or are you working?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:40, Reply)
Depends how she gets on with these shelves.
I'll let you know if she's working or not nearer the time OK?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:53, Reply)
you will bring her
or i will have Words!
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:53, Reply)
I've asked for it off
but the boss who hates me is doing the rota so I'll find out this evening.
(I helped save b3ta! wanderlust, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:02, Reply)
You'll never have that recipe again.

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:23, Reply)
Can't you lay off for a day?
Have some respect for those who've been crippled in service to their country.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:14, Reply)
Dropped your rifle on your toe?
etc
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:15, Reply)
Running backwards interferes with the coordination

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:16, Reply)


(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:15, Reply)
I can't decide whether Obama is trying to strangle him or going in for a smooch.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:16, Reply)
The ultimate PC couple
A black man and a spasticated white man.
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:17, Reply)
Haha

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:21, Reply)
The three rings of marriage... Engagement ring, wedding ring, sufferring
AltAlt. This canteen always does fish on a Friday or a selection of beige food. Fish pie it is.
(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:23, Reply)
AND TOMRROW NIGHT!

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:24, Reply)
Ha! But no, barking up the wrong tree...

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:26, Reply)
Fine, chocolate fondant surprise
the surprise is sweetcorn
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:28, Reply)
Bork!

(I helped save b3ta! GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:32, Reply)
Oh bra-vo

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:33, Reply)
"Dearly beloved...
... as we celebrate the surrendering of this man to this woman, could you all raise your arms and keep them there as the happy couple retreat from the chapel in disarray."
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:27, Reply)
lols

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:54, Reply)
I can't do puns on a Friday
also, I'm part of the extremist anti-pun faction on here I'm afraid, so no dice.

Altalt: Whatever the fuck I can shovel down inbetween meetings I suggest. I had to get up early to make pizza dough and take the car for a service so no breakfast either. I'll waste away, dammit.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:48, Reply)
What about Monday-Thursday?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:54, Reply)
Meeting girls, taking them for drinks and then making love.
Try him on Sunday.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:56, Reply)
poor badger
mercedes gave me coffee (which i hate) and pastries (which i hate) when i took mine in, you need a new garage...
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:55, Reply)
I'd rather use one that isn't staffed by robbers and idiots
than get a free coffee, though. Especially as I don't like coffee.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:58, Reply)
mine was really reasonable this time, i was shocked
i'd been bad and not treated it to a service for 2 years, so it was the first service and MOT... only £600 and nothing needed doing. i thought that was pretty good?

unless it's too good and they didn't actually check anything.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:01, Reply)
£600 fucking pounds with no work done?
Yeah, that's entirely reasonable and no you absolutely haven't been rinsed by robbing cunts.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:02, Reply)
She got coffee and pastries included in that though.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:05, Reply)
an MOT is £54 so the service cost £546
if no work was done, that is very expensive oil change, maybe they used Sperm Whale oil
(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:05, Reply)
Maybe it needed a flux capacitor change?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:20, Reply)
*actually dies laughing*
£600.

Fair fucking dos. Mine needs a major service including timing belt and the drop links need replacing on the front suspension because Edinburgh's roads are worse than Nairobi, and if all that lot comes out at more than about £350-£400 I'll be having words.

£600? blimey.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:04, Reply)
I bet they actually rubbed their hands when they saw her coming.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:06, Reply)

hands thighs

most men do
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:35, Reply)
That is fucking brilliant.
Only £600 and nothing needed doing. This is comedy gold.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:22, Reply)
Don't take the piss
Her car apparently runs on white truffle oil and filters made from reconstituted narwhal tusks. Obviously it's going to cost to service it.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:25, Reply)
Well, since you put it like that, bargain.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:32, Reply)
well no, you sarky gits
clearly little things needed doing, and i asked them to clean out the filters because of the fucking leaves on my street.

but i meant no new tyres, no new brake pads, that kind of expensive schizzle
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:34, Reply)
Clean out the filters?
They replace them as part of a service. Filters are not expensive, like, 20-40 quid each. You have an oil filter and an air filter.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:35, Reply)
no, not those
these were something extra where i thought mud/leaf gook would be collecting, it was an extra £64 to have them cleaned out, whatever they are
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:36, Reply)
Oh FFS. They're all out for a celebratory pint right now.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:37, Reply)
Whu?
And what filter is this, exactly?

They charged you £64 to wipe down your radiator grille.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:39, Reply)
That's how I read it as well.

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:40, Reply)
it's on the receipt
which i don't have at work
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:40, Reply)
are you some sort of woofter?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:01, Reply)
It's almost like you've wilfully missed my signature.
But, no, it appears on rare occasions it is possible to dislike coffee without resorting to anally penetrating men.

I'm not totally averse to it - I like a nice espresso occasionally with dessert - but I stick to tea generally.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:03, Reply)
BBQ chicken and mexicana cheese wraps
and Peroni
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:54, Reply)
*jealous*

(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:11, Reply)
Fuck me, they were lovely!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:21, Reply)
I'm hungry now and it's aaages 'til lunchtime.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:55, Reply)
I've been eating biscuits like some sort of fat fucking cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:56, Reply)
what sort of biscuits?
i have a meeting over lunch and the sandwiches are very hit and miss (cheese and onion in chilli mayonnaise, YES. cheese in sweet chilli sauce, NO), so biscuits might be all i get.
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:00, Reply)
Shortbread fingers.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:01, Reply)
most disappointing of all bakery based female masterbation aids

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:03, Reply)
Are the biscuits free?
this could be crucial.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:01, Reply)
ours are
we have good biscuits here, clubs and those scottish border biscuits, and a few other tasties
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:27, Reply)
I just misspelled a IM and asked someone fairly senior to "poop over to my desk"...

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:58, Reply)
Could have been worse
You could have sent it to Kroney.
(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:59, Reply)
he would have used a frozen turd to press the power button on my computer

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:00, Reply)
Only if he had a glass desk
I do have some class, you know.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:00, Reply)
it's oak

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:04, Reply)
Not interested then
Soz.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:05, Reply)
What do i ahev to do to win your affections?

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:06, Reply)
Dying in some sort of horrendous office fire would be a start

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:09, Reply)
:(

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:12, Reply)
Perhaps crucifixion would be more appropriate?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:13, Reply)
poor little baby jesus

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:15, Reply)
You're getting a bit carried away with this username.
You are not actually the baby Jesus.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:28, Reply)
Get away (in a manger)

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:29, Reply)
to be fair
why should he be any less likely than anyone else? if you're going to believe in that sort of rubbish, you might as well worship nakers as the next guy
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:31, Reply)
I'm not going to believe in that sort of rubbish and I'm not going to worship Nakers.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:34, Reply)
secretly, in some small way
i think you already worship him
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:36, Reply)
I've only just worked out it's Nakers :(

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:39, Reply)
WTN

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:49, Reply)
wank the narwhal?

(I helped save b3ta! the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:53, Reply)
That's how Merc get the coolant for their engines.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:54, Reply)

a
(I helped save b3ta! Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:12, Reply)
at least you got the "to" in there

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 11:59, Reply)
Then, as if by magic, the Frenchman arrived...

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:00, Reply)
*poof*

(I helped save b3ta! Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:13, Reply)
who was that camp guy who used to say "piff paff poof"?
also i saw a christmas card in cards galore this morning: "ho ho homo".

who could you buy that for?
(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:28, Reply)
The Great Soprendo

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:29, Reply)
the great suprendo

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:29, Reply)
are you answering both questions?

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:30, Reply)
which ones?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:31, Reply)
You bought one for your ex then?
Or is 'THATS THE JOKE'?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:35, Reply)
ooooooooof

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:35, Reply)
p+
bebbeh
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:36, Reply)
GREGGS HAT, BABY, GREGGS HAT

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:44, Reply)
sometimes my willy gives me a funny feeling

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:16, Reply)
Well this is good.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:42, Reply)
Totes fucking off to hang with my new mates on /calendar now

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:43, Reply)
Bye, losers!!!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:43, Reply)
Has he gone yet?

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:46, Reply)
Just clearing my desk

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:47, Reply)
Any minute now I'll be gone.
Don't beg me to stay, it won't work!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:48, Reply)
ok, see you

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:49, Reply)
No, it won't work guys - I really mean it this time

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:49, Reply)
Enough with the gazzes! I mean, it's flattering and all that, but seriously...

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:50, Reply)
I'm off for beer....

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:49, Reply)
MAYBE I'LL JOIN YOU

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 23 Nov 2012, 12:51, Reply)

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