Good morning.
Good week ahead? Good weekend?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:08, 160 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I took my nipper to see a theatre production of Noggin The Nog.
It was quite good, although I genuinely found myself inwardly tutting at the start as they didn't seem to be treating it respectfully enough, that's how much of a wanker I am. I got over it and it was alright. Good puppetry and the music was spot on.

This week shall be spent sorting out Xmas gifts I suspect.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:14, Reply)

Fuck off Bert.
Cheers.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:17, Reply)

Cool post bro.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:26, Reply)

Two thread deletions. What cunts.
Good morning, My cold won't go away, and my wee smells of Benylin.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:31, Reply)

What has been deleted?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:33, Reply)

Ring of fire wrote an emo poem about a dead chum.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:34, Reply)

I bet that got a lot of sympathy.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:36, Reply)

It's still there. Must have 2.0'd you.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:36, Reply)

Good lord, I must be well hard.
I only said that drugs were bad
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:41, Reply)

I'm gonna go on there and ask if his dead pal had any gear about when he carked it, that I could have
That has to be worth a 2.0 I reckon
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:46, Reply)

Borderline stepping I expect.
He's been dead a year, so the gear will be stale.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:54, Reply)

Yes but the pain will still be quitre fresh.
Hopefully.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:55, Reply)

This week promises to be dead.
However not only am I in all this week, but also have to come in this Sat. and Christmas Eve.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:33, Reply)

Good morning.
Weekend was fucking shit.
Ill child woe-is-meing all day and all night.
And now so am I wah wah waaah.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:33, Reply)

Back to Poland on Wednesday, back Saturday. Off to Edinburgh after that.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:34, Reply)

pretty quiet one.
In all this week. Man, am I a dullard or what?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:36, Reply)

Clue: the answer isn't 'or what?'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:43, Reply)

you tremendous queen.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:44, Reply)

Thanks m8!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:47, Reply)

any time bbz!
Did you check your gazbox you thundering quendosaurus?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:49, Reply)

Yes thanks
However I'm at work and it's first thing on a Monday morning, so the likelihood of my 'getting into' some gr8 'nu-skool breaks' is fairly slim at this moment. I'll try to remember to listen later.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:53, Reply)

aight bbz

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:02, Reply)

Do you mean are you dull, or are you a dullard?
The answer is probably both anyway.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:49, Reply)

A dullard who tries to make himself sound interesting and "alternative"
but only succeeds in making himself sound even more dull.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:51, Reply)

coming from OT's very own 'Mr Excitement'
This is a very cutting remark indeed.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:56, Reply)

There's your new sig, loco.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:57, Reply)

An excellent suggestion.....

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:58, Reply)

Predictable as always
I assume the chicks dig that
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:58, Reply)

you tell me, you utterly dull and inconsequential prick.
Srsly, I used to get you and Harters mixed up. He slightly edges you out, seeing as he does actually appear to have a paring of a sense of humour.

Why don't you just shit off back to just posting OT memes and catchphrases?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:01, Reply)

The slightly less successful Saturday morning 80's children's programme

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:02, Reply)

this is exactly what I mean.
Another original post from Kelly Jones.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:05, Reply)

And this is what I mean
I have no interest in the Stereophonics whatsoever, it's all in your head.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:07, Reply)

Morning Monty
Once again, I have proven my body hates me. I spent last week eating all healthy, not having any alcohol, getting an early night, and I was still waking up feeling like shit every day. I was rather pissed up on Saturday night, then had a beer to clear my hangover yesterday, before getting to bed at 1am.

And you know what? I feel fucking great today! I can't win.

I'm hoping this will be a better week than last week, but that's highly unlikely, as this is our last posting week, meaning hotels, bingo clubs, casinos, etc will be causing havoc.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:50, Reply)

Morning
my every
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:51, Reply)

Git.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:54, Reply)

Could be good
I have a second interview on Wednesday which could lead to more money and less commuting. I made an excellent chilli yesterday which means I'll be shitting lava at some point today. I don't think I can achieve much more than that on a Monday.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:52, Reply)

Nice one 'Bill Clay' IITIYRN.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 8:54, Reply)

Morning.
Yes. No.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:02, Reply)

Bad time of year for you, eh?
Still on for Hawkwind? Am I putting you up after?

There's a train back to town at 11:45 so that works nicely.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:05, Reply)

I think so mate,
Gotta make sure there is someone capable in the pub for those two days, and I'm in.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:26, Reply)

Good lad.
Is Madame Cochon coming too?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:34, Reply)

dunno, if lusty is in, can probably persuade her for double date,
But if its just me and you, she'll only get in the way of our sweaty space rock love.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:51, Reply)

Yeah Lusty is coming.
As is my brother and his old pal Bonz, though. Possibly Chompy as well if I can convince him that a bunch of septuagenarian acid casualties make for a good night out.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:59, Reply)

sweet, i'll see what she wants to do.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:01, Reply)

Not a very eventful weekend however I did watch “The man with the Iron Fist’s”
Starring RZA, Rick Yung and Chung Le, excellent sound track including Wu Tang Clan & Isaac Hayes. You would love it
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:08, Reply)

That sounds fucking great.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:09, Reply)

The write up is shit but I loved it
www.imdb.com/title/tt1258972/
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:10, Reply)

Critical acclaim usually means I don't like something.
Because I am so contrary and alternative and all that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:13, Reply)

Unfortunately this is NOT available on a popular P2P sharing site
And it didn’t take about 40 Mins. to download at all
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:16, Reply)

Gosh what rotten luck.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:22, Reply)

Sadtimes *sniff*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:23, Reply)

I watched Trading Places on Saturday. Best film ever.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:10, Reply)

Beef jerky time

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:11, Reply)

Gives me the wind something terrible.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:12, Reply)

We watched it last week, it really is genius.
I think Dan Akroyd's acting in it deserves special mention for being fucking superb.

*insert predictable reference to Jamie Lee Curtis' bosoms here*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:15, Reply)

YEAH.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:16, Reply)

Weekend quiet
discovered this morning that whatever the bloke did to my boiler to make it cough out some warm water hasn't stuck, had to heat water in a big pot this morning to wash my hair :( Stern email to landlord sent.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:13, Reply)

I read your subject line in the style of Tarzan.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:16, Reply)

Michael Heseltine lols

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:18, Reply)

...too quiet

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:21, Reply)

Cheetah - fetch elephant.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:24, Reply)

t l
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:27, Reply)

I'm going to need a bigger straw

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:42, Reply)

I did a proper zing on my ex yesterday.
Whilst I was collecting my kid from her mother's yesterday, my ex made a snide remark about the Xmas card my mother had sent them, whilst my daughter was showing it to me, because it contained no kisses on it.

'You're right, it's dreadful, put it back up there with all the other ones please'

THERE WEREN'T ANY, LOL!!!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:28, Reply)

She will make you pay for that.

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:30, Reply)

She can't do any worse than she already is.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:32, Reply)

Never underestimate a bat mental bitch

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:34, Reply)

she might send him pictures of her bum hole

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:36, Reply)

Why is she still with her new boyfriend?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:45, Reply)

lol - but probably too subtle for her to understand?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:30, Reply)

Oh fuck no.
She got it alright. Not one single person in her life likes her enough to send her an Xmas card. No-one. I cannot imagine why.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:31, Reply)

I hope you shouted ZING right i her face
then "rofflecoptered"
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:36, Reply)

I rofflecoptered so hard I actually took off and flew around the room

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:37, Reply)

careful not to knock over all the Christmas cards!!!!!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:38, Reply)

Remembering this has really cheered my Monday morning up.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:39, Reply)

a bacon and hash brown sandwich has cheered mine up
on the other hand I now have to go ice skating tomorrow with work, which is shit. Winter Wonderland, more like Winter Wankerland
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:41, Reply)

I'll go.
EDIT: I should clarify - I love ice skating, and we haven't got anywhere round here we can do it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:42, Reply)

it's up in that there London and you'll need to be able to talk about our year to date

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:42, Reply)

So you're effectively having a progress meeting on ice?
Sounds great.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:44, Reply)

if only all business was condutced that way

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:45, Reply)

"So, if we could just have the figures from your depaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrgggghhhhhhh.........."
"Someone pick the boss up, will you? He's fallen over again."
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:48, Reply)

"So I propose going forward we should YAAAARRRRGGHH" *splat* *crunch*

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:48, Reply)

Oh, too slow

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:48, Reply)

*low fives, misses*

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:52, Reply)

You've been dating b3th for a year?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:45, Reply)

shhhh, the old man will hear you
actually he really won't
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:45, Reply)

How very dare you?
I've never been so insulted etc
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:46, Reply)

well now I'm offended, i may complain to the bbc

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:50, Reply)

Hey'd probably fall over hemselves to apologise, too.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:51, Reply)

I think the 'T' just fell off my ipad...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:53, Reply)

Alright.
Off to computer club in a bit, then have to do some work, so 'no'.
Got a good lead on a job for the new year, and had funtimes with the family, so 'yes'.

You know what this thread needs? More bingo.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:40, Reply)

+wings

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:41, Reply)

No, I've brought those.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:42, Reply)

Look B3th's awake, eating chocolate cake

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:42, Reply)

Don’t start the rhyme thing again PLEASE

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:43, Reply)

hardroke the hare, what a fucking quare

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:44, Reply)

Gayer would have been a better choice there.

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:45, Reply)

i disagree

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:49, Reply)

So, how long have you been homophobic?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:51, Reply)

ONLY ABOUT FOUR INCHES LOLOLOLOLOLOOL

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:53, Reply)

Lengths that battered can only dream of...

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:54, Reply)

how the fuck do you pronounce hare?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:51, Reply)

Perhaps he's from Texas?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:53, Reply)

Frightful quare.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:51, Reply)

this guy gets it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:54, Reply)

That's what it says on the bog wall

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:58, Reply)

Watch it sonny
I have a trained attack Wren and I’m not afraid to use it
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:54, Reply)

she must be in her 80s by now

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:55, Reply)

Them lady sailors are well rough.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:55, Reply)

5.9.83.79/questions/offtopic/post1809820
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:56, Reply)

Too right.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:57, Reply)

I expected much harsher strike troughs

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:56, Reply)

fucking great weekend.
I'm going home to the parents thursday night to surprise them. Can't wait!!
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:55, Reply)

are you going to surprise them by pushinga bot dog through their door then burning their house down?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:56, Reply)

Nah, they're not expecting me home til friday afternoon.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:03, Reply)

probably better this way

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:03, Reply)

I think you're forgetting that we're a bunch of bastards, and most of us know how to find your mum on fb.
Morning, doll. Show us your new haircut, then.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:57, Reply)

pervert

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:57, Reply)

Spastic

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 9:58, Reply)

touche

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:01, Reply)

You're such a bitch b3th.
I can't upload the pic from my phone onto facebook. It's basically just a really good trim all over, then the hairdresser did this awesome styling thing with a straightener that used steam instead of dry heat and a cream. now my hair is like super straight, super soft, and looks awesomely healthy.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:02, Reply)

She's a right fucking bogan isn't she?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:04, Reply)

she totally is.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:04, Reply)

Rack off, you great galah

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:06, Reply)

just kidding, I love you really b3thy.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:10, Reply)

sounds like an iron to me.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:05, Reply)

that's what all hair straighteners started out as.

(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:06, Reply)

Rhyming slang lolz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:07, Reply)

Someone start a new thread you hopeless flidmoes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:21, Reply)

THERE IS A PROGRAM ON 4OD ABOUT A HUGELY FAT WOMAN WHO IS ACCUSED OF MURDER.
It's like they made a show just for me.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:23, Reply)

hahaha

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:25, Reply)

she is also the fattest woman in the world, and killed a child.
This is proper genius TV.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:30, Reply)

Good stuff.
Did she sit on it and squash it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:31, Reply)

yeah,
well, that is what she says happened, but they're trying to say she must have hit him in the head.
Ha, they have put one of those tags on her in case she runs away, and they have to put it on her wrist because she's so fat.
edit: oh gross, she's been menstruating for 3 months.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:36, Reply)

Poor b3th.
Always blobbing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:41, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1809868
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:41, Reply)

no chance.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:43, Reply)

Done and done.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 17 Dec 2012, 10:45, Reply)