Yeah morning
Anyone other than me still having to fucking work today?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 8:33, 180 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Ha ha
Work wanker.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 8:34, Reply)

Ha ha
'On b3ta in his own free time' wanker.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 8:52, Reply)

Not me.
About to get up, have a tab and then take the Doris to the station.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 8:36, Reply)

Yep
Great innit. Got the offspring at all over Chrimble?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 8:56, Reply)

Fucking MARVELLOUS :o(
Have I fuck. Actually with what I'm doing with legal stuff, I've got better access this year then I usually get. I saw my kid as normal on Saturday and will see her again fairly soon: last year I didn't see her for 3 consecutive weekends. With legal letters going to my ex every couple of weeks she doesn't dare try that shit this year. It makes me very sad to see, but it is abundantly clear that I have to act the heavy in order to get her to behave.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:04, Reply)

Well it's not like you didn't try reason first
Horrible process to have to go through, but all the best with it sir. Reckon you can get down the pub early today?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:07, Reply)

I spent a year being flatly refused even to discuss greater access.
Wouldn't even talk to me - one legal letter later, I get my (admittedly pointless and concession-free) meeting. It's such a waste of time.

I have to get to Winchester by train today so I'm hoping my MD lets me out of here asap. There's a game casserole with my name on it waiting for me at my mother's.

Full day for you?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:15, Reply)

No idea
Very much doubt I'll have to stay the duration but as soon as I do get out I've got last-minute Christmas shopping to do with Ms Foxtrot. Not sure I wouldn't rather stay here where the plebs can't get me. Then it's off to try and keep up with three incredibly excited anklebiters. I'm massively looking forward to it but am expecting to feel like hell when I'm back here Thursday morning.

Fa-la-la-la-laaa, la-la-la-laaaaah.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:19, Reply)

The first thought when AA wrote about his MD: "That's nice, his Managing Director is going to get sandwiches"
The first thought when you write about your MD: "He's going all the way to Winchester to get some Massive Drugs ?"
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:39, Reply)

Kick her in the cunt
(the ex, that is)
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:20, Reply)

Me.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:10, Reply)

YOU?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:17, Reply)

I love you too.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:46, Reply)

Let's elope x

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:52, Reply)

*gropes*

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:55, Reply)

*rises to the occasion*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:19, Reply)

I can see this.
It's Christmas you heartless bastard. You're welcome to him Winders.
( wanderlust, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:02, Reply)

hello lustypops
It's alright, you can keep the scruffy old boot.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:05, Reply)

Too late, he's yours now.
Ha! Gutted.
( wanderlust, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:08, Reply)

fuck it,
He can sleep with the dogs.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:08, Reply)

I'm not Jeff you know.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:19, Reply)

Meh.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:40, Reply)

How was the pub on Friday?
Fights galore if the rest of the country was anything to go by.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:19, Reply)

Yeah, it was horrific.
No fights in the pub, but I watched a glorious 6 man brawl outside the Half Moon across the way.
I was shattered, so just adopted a no wanker policy, turned away quite a few groups of lads. But it saves us, everyone else around here got trouble.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:45, Reply)

Skills.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:46, Reply)

they rolled in hooping a hollering and shouting,
And were told they had to go somewhere else. We got a round of applause at one point when an extremely obnoxious gentlemen, who thought it hilarious to go round grabbing ladies breasts, was bundled out the door.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:50, Reply)

I really do detest 'people'.
Drunk 'people' are some of the worst.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:52, Reply)

correct.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:56, Reply)

Surprisingly there were no punchups at my local last night
Last Xmas it was like a war zone - anyone within a 100 yard radius of the village pubs was considered a target.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:20, Reply)

Yep
The MD is doing a sandwich run soon though, which is nice.

Unfortunately, I've got a really shitty cold at the moment, thank fuck for Lemsip though, otherwise I'd be zombie-like today.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:22, Reply)

Day Nurse.
Way better.

Morning AA.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 9:48, Reply)

Good morning Windy
I've never had a problem with Lemsip, although I might try Day Nurse next time.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:02, Reply)

Trust me its a winner.
Night nurse gives me night terrors though, so might be best avoid that little darling.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:44, Reply)

I might go to the pub later.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:05, Reply)

So might I.
We could be twins!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:17, Reply)

Pub for a short while today
Then pick up girlfriend's mum and take her to girlfriend's place. That's when the drinking begins in earnest - with any luck I'll be snoozing in the chair before the execrable Xmas eve TV shows start.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:17, Reply)

Doctor Who followed by Strictly tomorrow though
Fuck yeah
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:19, Reply)

Haven't really watched Doctor Who since (probably) Tom Baker
*realises advancing years*

*cries*
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:21, Reply)

So, what did we all think of the Strictly final at the weekend then?
I thought it was fucking brilliant. And I won £50. Never underestimate the predictability of oestrogen.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:20, Reply)

I was shown the winner's dances yesterday
And your comment 'the prdictability of oestrogen' is spot-on!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:24, Reply)

As soon as the names were announced I knew Louis Smith would win
and that getting his top off in the final would help this happen. Stuck a tenner on him before I'd seen any of them dance. BOOM.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:25, Reply)

His dance partner was a small woman but to do the overhead press like he did took some serious muscle
Never arm wrestle a gymnast!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:28, Reply)

Yeah, he didn't even need to jerk (fnarr)
Small she may be but she's solid muscle
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:32, Reply)

Many moons ago...
...I used to go out with a dancer - she was half Spanish and specialised in Flamenco. Solid muscle as you said, and being half Spanish she could be described as a 'passionate' woman.
Happy days
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:37, Reply)

This sort of thing
is exactly why I'm mystified when people say dancing is for benders.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:38, Reply)

It's the outfits, the fake tan and the heavily made-up men.

Glad to help clear this up.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:42, Reply)

The men only wear makeup on telly
much as is true with any other studio-based show.

I've just remembered there was one time in Blackpool when a bloke came into the loos and started smothering his face with foundation to make himself more orange. This totally buggers my argument, and as such I'm not sure why I'm telling you. Or why I'm typing this. Any of this. Hmm.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:46, Reply)

I trained at an Aikido club once where one of the instructors (male) was an ex-ballet dancer
Very strong guy, had a grip like a taxman and rock-solid posture.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:45, Reply)

Male Ballet dancers have phenomenal bodies

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:47, Reply)

Gay.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:07, Reply)

not helping himself here is he

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:14, Reply)

Not even slightly.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:16, Reply)

There is literally nothing I can say
that will convince any of you of my heterosexuality
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:16, Reply)

Gosh yes I also thought it was fucking brilliant.
'This is fucking brilliant', I thought, whilst I definitely watched and enjoyed it.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:26, Reply)

FAVOURITE CHRISTMAS SONGS
GO
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:42, Reply)

1. "Fairytale of New York" by Kirsty MacColl and the Pogues
2. "Christmas in Hollis" by Run DMC
3. "Last Christmas" by Wham!
4. "Let It Snow" by Dean Martin
5. "I Wish It Could Be Christmas Every Day" by Wizzard
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:45, Reply)

I reckon if that song didn't have the word faggot in, nobody would like it.
People only like it 'cus it has a rude word.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:51, Reply)

Tommy the Christmas Tree - Max Splodge
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:48, Reply)

A Spaceman Came Travelling - Chris De Burgh
That's the only one that comes to mind atm.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:03, Reply)

There is a Gehenna christmas song i think.
No fucking Christmas I believe.
Or try Jesu - Christmas.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=79rS-sl9tSg&sns=em
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:01, Reply)

haha
Office wanker.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:44, Reply)

Has anyone started on the booze yet?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:48, Reply)

Not yet.
You?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 10:50, Reply)

Been given two bottles of wine this morning
They're for tomorrow though, methinks.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:04, Reply)

'methinks'
Doesn't mean 'I think', it means 'it seems to me'.

So every time you use it, you sound like a bellwipe.

JSYK.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:07, Reply)

Tis a habit I can't seem to break.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:12, Reply)

Dost thou realise the benditry of archaic modes of speech? methinks it is beyond your ken.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:14, Reply)

...Yes.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:15, Reply)

Phew!
But yet you do it anyway.

Good plan!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:17, Reply)

I haven't started. Yet.
12 o'clock.

I've been at work 3 hours, AW. It's tough in the squeezed middle.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:05, Reply)

I'VE LEFT WORK ALREADY

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:09, Reply)

Nice one. Good luck with the trains.
I think you might just be OK.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:15, Reply)

No
and nor am I likely to. Unless I break under the horrible pressure of spending Christmas without a drink. Which I probably will.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:09, Reply)

DON'T DO IT!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:16, Reply)

To be honest I'm prepared to deal with ineffective SSRIs for a few days in the name of beer
but Ms Foxtrot is watching me like a hawk
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:20, Reply)

Lavatory drinking ftw.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:32, Reply)

You might be on to something here old boy
The spirit of Christmas! Necking meths in a bog!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:34, Reply)

We've all done it!!
Ahem.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:46, Reply)

I'm about to crack a beer on the tube.
/renegade
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:11, Reply)

I'm about to crack one out.
/compulsive masturbator
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:12, Reply)

I'm about to get on the crack
/moreish
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:15, Reply)

STRIKETHROUGH 'CRACK' + COCK!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:18, Reply)

I'm about to crack open a Tagine
It's Moorish
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:18, Reply)

I'm about to crack open a Patrick
it's Mooreish.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:20, Reply)

I'm evaluating the attractiveness of Girls Aloud
It's "Cor!"/"Ish" *makes wavy hand gesture*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:21, Reply)

ouch

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:22, Reply)

MORNING!!!!!!!
I, for a change, am not working.
I have, however, been to Morrisons, which is probably worse.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:21, Reply)

No probably about it
My workplace is comparatively Mensatastic
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:23, Reply)

I imagine you double the office IQ just by being there.
So, what are you up to today? Apart from eyeing up Girls Aloud, that is.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:26, Reply)

As little as possible
/Gittes
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:31, Reply)

I've just packaged up some money for No1 grandchild.
As a student, she asked for just money, so I tried to package it imaginatively.

Rolled up notes, inside balloons, inside more balloons. I'm quite impressed with my skillz.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:35, Reply)

I hope she doesn't spend it on "balloons".

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:37, Reply)

She seems to be avoiding 'that' side of student life.
When she went away, I told her about how I had never experienced the full on mental side of uni, and that I really regretted it, and she should try absolutely everything.

Don't think she is, though.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:38, Reply)

Smack might be a step too far.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:40, Reply)

It was 2 and a half years of ecstasy, skunk and shagging for me. Buckled down halfway through my third year.
And I just missed a First.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:41, Reply)

That's a P.E. degree for you.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:42, Reply)

Oh man, I wish I had done a Public Enemy degree.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:47, Reply)

Worth.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:37, Reply)

?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:38, Reply)

Christ
I'm bored. I might have to do some housework.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:28, Reply)

That was me yesterday.
I was so bored I scrubbed my kitchen. Even the cooker.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:29, Reply)

I bet he wasn't happy about that!
LOL
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:31, Reply)

It must be Christmas.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:31, Reply)

Have you been flooded out, Jeff?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:33, Reply)

Yes.
Sent from my iArk.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:35, Reply)

Not really.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:35, Reply)

Hahahaha.
*twobytwolols*
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:35, Reply)

What did you ask Santa for this year?

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:37, Reply)

Likely be cooking stuff.
I expect some expensive knives and a deep fat fryer. It's all fucking go, Mate.

You?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:38, Reply)

Do people still buy deep fat fryers?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:40, Reply)

No. Unhealthy innit.
Some things are only good if they are deep fried though.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:41, Reply)

Creme Eggs, for example

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:44, Reply)

Exactamundo.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:46, Reply)

Or your face.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:51, Reply)

Why the hostility, Jeffers?
Peace and love to all personkind....
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:04, Reply)

Sorry.
I'm bored.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:05, Reply)

You live in London
A fine selection of knives is essential.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:40, Reply)

Lewisham esp.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:42, Reply)

Must be.
Don you think that means it's time for Monty's bath?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 11:37, Reply)

I shall be intermittently connecting to my work pc to monitor various jobs
AND tomorrow and Boxing day. Not getting paid either, other than "the gratitude of senior management".
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:16, Reply)

Oh, you can take that gratitude straight to the bank.








Not really.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:21, Reply)

Just so
To be fair I'm not doing much, just running a script that shows how far the main job has got and confirming that's more than the last time i.e. still running. If it's not there's a horrifically complicated document to root through to try and figure out how to kick it off again, but so far so good.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:38, Reply)

I shall put a couple of hours a day on my timesheets anyway
Who knows, might be some overtime or time in lieu out of it.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:40, Reply)

Points West has just finished.
I might go and get some lunch.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:24, Reply)