NEWS LINK
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-20901612

don't you think it's a bit strange that in the UK things that can cause skin burns is headline news, where in America they're all "Waaah I need more than 10 bullets to kill the deers"

So how is next weekend going to be better than this weekend?
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:11, 128 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

It's nice they've alerted me to how easy it is to buy them
also that pepper spray looks yummy.

Next weekend will hopefully contain less snot, but more work
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:13, Reply)

I did think, "it would be quite cool to have one"
Hurrah work!
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:14, Reply)

You never know when you might need it
and they do look...wait for it....stunning!

yeah, work, being ill for half of christmas means I couldn't do the big pile of work before I went back to work. Once I'm better I might be doing all teh hours :(
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:16, Reply)

Also, have you all heard of these guys.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defense_Distributed
It's kind of scary.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:15, Reply)

inevitable
but depressing
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:17, Reply)

what is wrong with people?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:18, Reply)

Some of them are bent, some of them are spastics.
Others are both.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:19, Reply)

which are you?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:20, Reply)

Some achieve spasticity.
Others have bentness thrust upon them.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:21, Reply)

This is a witty Shakespeare reference.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:26, Reply)

meh

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:29, Reply)

upon into
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:30, Reply)

TTJ

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:32, Reply)

Are all your links about electric shocks today?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:16, Reply)

Nope, have a look.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:18, Reply)

I don't understand the one about printing guns.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:18, Reply)

3d printing is a bit like yoghurt weaving
only done with a machine rather than organic hemp needles
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:23, Reply)

1.buy 3d printer.
2. this company provides the "data" to print a working gun.
3. ...
4. Profit.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:24, Reply)

you can print almost anything these days
just get the components right and you can sell the design. There's a guy printed a house recently
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:24, Reply)

I do all my living in a house online nowadays.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:28, Reply)

is it cloud based?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:29, Reply)

I don't think it is strange at all.
Both countries have different laws on weapons that can be carried, so something like a tazer is a big deal here, but not so much in the land of the free, the brave and the gun nut.

Next weekend will certainly be worse, as I will be working. I had this weekend off, it was double awesome.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:18, Reply)

Next weekend will be worse as I will not be snowboarding

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:19, Reply)

do people still snowboard?
I thought it was a 90's thing for dick heads.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:23, Reply)

You thought right.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:24, Reply)

nah, you're thinking of Indy Music

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:25, Reply)

Nah, you're thinking of
never using capital letters
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:27, Reply)

nah, you're thinking of Terry and June

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:28, Reply)

nah, you're thinking of Terry Waite

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:29, Reply)

nah
you're thinking of home renovation shows that use mdf for everything
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:30, Reply)

nah, you're thinking of Carol Smilie's "tool box"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:31, Reply)

Handy Andy's "wanking hammer" ?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:38, Reply)

Apparently they do.
I've got one of them coming with me skiing in a couple of weeks. I can only hope I don't catch "bent"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:36, Reply)

At least he's not a monoskier

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:38, Reply)

Haha, yes.
Although one of my mates can and has used a monoski, but the smug cunt can ski down just about anything, on anything.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:38, Reply)

Second time I went skiing I saw a monoskier crash, he died later in hospital.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:39, Reply)

I always hoped this would happen to all the pricks on snowblades and scooters

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 12:07, Reply)

I saw 4 or 5 this year
I think it may be making a comeback
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:41, Reply)

really? I shall keep an eye out.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:46, Reply)

So who is worse, monoboarders or bladers?
Monoboaders have a retro charm at least, bladers should be run over by piste bashers
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:49, Reply)

bladers are arseholes
because anyone can get down a piste on blades, there's no skill to it. It's the equivalent of turning up to a track day with an Impreza.

monoboards are at least really difficult to use.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:51, Reply)

here we can agree
It's like the Good Friday agreement for snow sports.

The snow was great btw, could be a good season, where and whn are you going?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:53, Reply)

26th Jan and wherever we decide last-minute (well, will probably book this week)
Would like Les Arcs but I'm not seeing any great reductions for there right now. Probably becuase the snow is epic. Glad you enjoyed it, even though you're a dirty gay-on-a-tray.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:55, Reply)

prick with sticks ;)

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:57, Reply)

Ah, wanks on planks is better
because you LOVE our sticks when we give you a tow on the flat.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:58, Reply)

this post ^ sounds dirtier than it should.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:58, Reply)

i'm certainly moving towards bongle risk 5

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 12:00, Reply)

I prefer a shunt from behind to get me going

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 12:07, Reply)

*drops monocle*

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 12:08, Reply)

all forms of sliding on snow and ice
are just expensive and elaborate ways of breaking ones legs
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:52, Reply)

i have never broken anything skiing or snowboarding

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:53, Reply)

then you are doing it wrong

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:55, Reply)

actually i wouldn't mind skiing again
but then I'd hav to hire kit when I already own my board and boots
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:38, Reply)

I can't be bothered with carting my kit out there*
It costs more each year to service and trasport my skis than hiring the best set of skis in history. Plus, I need three sets really, a piste set, some big mountain skis and some park skis. If I hire them, I can swap them on a daily basis. So what's the point? I just keep them for scotland now

*I take my own boots. Hire boots are fucking awful and smell of Frenchmen's piss.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:44, Reply)

Boots are the imporatant factor here
Also the hire stuff seemed cheap this year
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:48, Reply)

yeah, boots are crucial
snowboard boots less of a problem because they are more comfortable, but a badly fitting set of ski boots will totally ruin your week
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:56, Reply)

i can promise you that badly fitting snowboard boots will also ruin your wek

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:59, Reply)

I'm sure you're right.
They are at least more comfortable, though.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 12:01, Reply)

but yeah
I'm one of the last of my friends to move back to hire skis. The current plan is - one ovesized snowboard bag so only one ski charge, chuck in three sets of 1080s so you've each got park skis, hire the rest over there. Bonus.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 12:00, Reply)

My brother does that.
Although he did manage to use it to nearly kill a group of six Frenchmen. I'm conflicted about it.
( Kroney, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:39, Reply)

We have a scoring system for snowboarders.
and French ones count double.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:42, Reply)

i bet they were standing in the way
fuckin skiers always stand in big groups nattering away oblivious to their surroundings.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:42, Reply)

Yeah, I can't fault the target
but on the other hand he was tumbling down the side of a mountain like a spastic and he was on a snowboard.

I don't know, it's a difficult one to pick a side on.
( Kroney, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:44, Reply)

Haha, fuck off.
Snowboarders are lethal stopped on piste, because the stupid cunts sit down. Usually just over a blind brow. Idiots.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:45, Reply)

skiers are worse
and french skiers are the worst.

And then you have the cunts snaking down in long lines, why do you feel the need to follow someone all the time?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:46, Reply)

I'm not disagreeing about the french
but snowboarders really are worse, because stopping sitting down means you don't see them until the last minute. Skiers usually* stop at the side of a piste as well. Snowboarders almost never do. I think it's a average age thing rather than the sport per se, as in snowboarders are more likely to be yoofs and therefore utterly selfish cunts with no self awareness.

The snakes are lessons, and that's what instructors tell them to do. Because unless you're retarded, it's much easier to go round a lesson when it's predicatable because they all follow the same path. Are you retarded?

*not always, I agree, but mostly
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:49, Reply)

Do you really need to ask?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:50, Reply)

Ok lets be honest here, sometimes snowbaords sit in the way and sometimes skiers stand in the way, both are really as bad as ach other
but there are many more skiers so they take up more room.

Lessons fine, but there are spastic skiers all over who follow each other down
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:51, Reply)

as opposed to snowboarders
who shouldn't be on the piste in the first place?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:54, Reply)

you sound like my mother in law
As someone who can do both and has done both skiing and snowboarding, i think they both have a place in the world.

You're just a bigoted old woman
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:56, Reply)

Finally, Nakers gets me.
In all seriousness, snowboards are less suited to piste than skis. But I don't really want the off entirely. Much.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:57, Reply)

and now you both wrestle in front of a roaring fire on a bearskin rug?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 12:11, Reply)

As long as he brings the oil.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 12:20, Reply)

I should point out, for the benefit of fairness
I don't actually hate snowboarders. Snowboards are epic in powder, and brilliant in the park. I just don't know why people use them on piste. It's like putting a rally car on an F1 track. In the way of people in F1 cars.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:53, Reply)

I could get burgled and knifed next weekend and it would still be better than this one.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:22, Reply)

*sharpens knives*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:23, Reply)

*puts on burglaring pants*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:24, Reply)

+ turd-

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:25, Reply)

I have permission to attend Hawkwind,
are there still tickets?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:23, Reply)

I fucking hope so.
Lusty is now going to be away so it's just blokes now. Do you want the use of my sofabed?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:25, Reply)

Shameless innuendo here.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:26, Reply)

I am NOTHING like the bloke from Shameless.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:27, Reply)

lol
well you're not Northern...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:28, Reply)

It's a start.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:29, Reply)

I thought he was born in Nottingham?
That's north from where I'm sitting.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:29, Reply)

This is new news

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:31, Reply)

That Nottingham is north of Coventry?
Or that Monty is secretly a northerner?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:32, Reply)

actually both
I've never really known or cared where those midland towns are
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:33, Reply)

I was gone from there within a matter of months, thank fuck.
Mind you, we then moved to Lincoln: after that came Windsor and Cheltenham which were a little more like it, before settling on Winchester. All before I was 7.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:36, Reply)

I'm like the littlest hobo*, me.




*SOUNDS LIKE A CUE FOR A MEGA-LOL STRIKETHROUGH!!!!!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:37, Reply)

Maybe tomorrow.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:38, Reply)

*just keeps movin' on*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:40, Reply)

littl bigg
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:41, Reply)

*shakes head*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:50, Reply)

Manchester, according to wikipedia

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:49, Reply)

Monty has got a wikipedia page?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:51, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Threlfall
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:51, Reply)

:o(

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:55, Reply)

probably,
I'll look at train times etc in a minute. When I can be bothered.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:33, Reply)

I'll get you a ticket 'online'* in the next day or two.

*that's 'hip speak' for 'on the internet'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:34, Reply)

Essential listening, if you want to understand Monty:

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:42, Reply)

if you can get passed the indian english, there's some shocking shit in this article.
www.hindustantimes.com/India-news/NewDelhi/Never-muted-Ten-outrageous-remarks-on-rape/Article1-986108.aspx
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:41, Reply)

We should never have given them independence, the fucking savages.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:43, Reply)

rape was unheard of during Empire days
seriously though that case is pretty shocking
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:47, Reply)

i don't have to go to a wedding next weekend

( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:50, Reply)

\o/
I am currently negotiating my absence from two weddings this year
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:52, Reply)

I am voluntarily going to one in Cyprus
mainly because it means a week holiday with friends
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:53, Reply)

I don't mind going t most
But if it's some trogoldyte you went to Uni with who you've only seen a couple of times since and is selfish enough to get married in fucking cornwall, then i'm not interested.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:55, Reply)

I had one where this friend of a friend was all
"Hey, Kroney, I haven't invited you to the wedding, but I'm short on numbers for my stag and wondered whether you'd like to spend £200 on a wet weekend in Dorset?"

Fuck off, would I.
( Kroney, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:57, Reply)

what a loser
the Mrs still see's this girl, but I have no interest. Also it will be povvo and shit i suspect
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 11:58, Reply)

I don't mind going to my friends' weddings, but I draw the line at my Mrs' friends' weddings.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 12:00, Reply)

meh, can't let them go by themselves though can you...
wait, hang on, did you get married over christmas?!

CONGRATULATIONS KRONLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


EDIT: I have no idea why i thought I was replying to Kronely :s
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 12:01, Reply)

Er... I'm not Kroney.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 12:02, Reply)

you do look similar

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 12:02, Reply)

Poor Kroney :(

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 12:03, Reply)

i just realised that, many great apologies TUiB-son

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 12:03, Reply)

I think it's probably because you're a spastic, who is also bent.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 12:03, Reply)

shut it stinky finger

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 12:05, Reply)

Someone start a new thread.
I aint doing all your work for you.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 12:18, Reply)

i think they are all eating lunch
i ate my lunch at 10:30, now I only have £1.30 to survive on for the reat of the day
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 12:20, Reply)

this made me lol
"Everywhere the norovirus goes it leaves vast steaming lakes of freshly expelled vomit in its wake. It's like Piers Morgan, but invisible. Which actually makes it slightly better than Piers Morgan."
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 12:23, Reply)

ha
I just read that, too
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 12:24, Reply)

Done.
But I'd ask you to reconsider about doing my work for me.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 7 Jan 2013, 12:23, Reply)