Good/Bad Service
When was the last time you had good/bad service?

I've just had a gas bloke round who certified my house and fixed my fire for £40

Alt:
Fuck you
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:00, 139 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I find that your mum always provides excellent service, for a lady of her advancing years.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:01, Reply)

on the other hand I was up to my back wheels in Capt Placid's mum when 5pm rolled around and she charged out the door almost ripping my cock off

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:03, Reply)

TIght arse

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:09, Reply)

I'm glad

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:03, Reply)

I'm Jesus

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:04, Reply)

I'm bored.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:05, Reply)

ed ing
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:06, Reply)

ored ent
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:06, Reply)

ored uggering a goat
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:06, Reply)

It took you three attempts to get the correct answer.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:08, Reply)

ored readed
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:09, Reply)

ored ent spastic baiting
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:25, Reply)

a checkout girl smiled at me once
I might marry her
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:08, Reply)

There is a very cheeky girl in our local Sainsburys

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:09, Reply)

how can you tell when she's sitting down?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:10, Reply)

This is life

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:11, Reply)

Aha you have slept with Lembit Opek
Edit: shit I was slow to the joke there
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:24, Reply)

He looks like he has had a stroke

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:28, Reply)

hang gliding accident, I believe
Edit: paragliding
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lembit_%C3%96pik#Personal_life_and_charity_work
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:32, Reply)

He probably got a cheeky girl to do it

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:32, Reply)

I guess once the pop dream was over the sisters had to get real jobs

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:11, Reply)

meh.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:11, Reply)

Out punned by nakers
in your face bristol
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:12, Reply)

That sounds good

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:22, Reply)

*motorboatlols*

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:23, Reply)

*jiggles*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:28, Reply)

*spaffs*
*falls asleep*
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:30, Reply)

I did wonder what became of them after their music careers ended.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:11, Reply)

The slag - she smiled at me too!
I thought we had something special going on :(
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:10, Reply)

she smiled at me with her fanny

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:11, Reply)

She winked her brown eye at me

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:22, Reply)

did it make it blue?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:26, Reply)

It was cold

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:27, Reply)

I once got a free smoked eel sandwich in The Blue Print Cafe by Toweer bridge
it was sbsolutely delicious
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:19, Reply)

Is eel nice then?
It doesn't look it
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:21, Reply)

no it doesn't and I don't really like fish
I told the maitre d (sp?) this and he insisted that we try it, and it was gorgeous
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:23, Reply)

The only fish I dont like are when they have loads of bones in
Too much hassle to eat
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:26, Reply)

Why have you never told us this before?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:22, Reply)

I have

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:22, Reply)

How could I have forgotten?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:25, Reply)

because your protein deficient brain can't cope anymore
having said that i had butternet squash curry last night, it was quite nice
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:26, Reply)

Fucking yurt prick.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:26, Reply)

It would have been nicer with some chicken innit as well
but we had a lezza over for supper
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:30, Reply)

Add carpet next time

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:32, Reply)

butternut squash is lovely

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:26, Reply)

Fuck this I'm off out on Muslim Patrol.
L80rz
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:29, Reply)

Set up a ham-bush.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:31, Reply)

chortle

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:32, Reply)

You're dressed like a fag, this is a sheria area, this is Muslim Patrol and you gotta leave.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:33, Reply)

No, it's a He-Man area.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:34, Reply)

They need their own saturday morning cartoon

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:34, Reply)

The correct response to that is "you're the one wearing a dress"

(PsychoChomp, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:42, Reply)

You have the long hair of a woman, this is Muslim Patrol, please leave

( Theoban What of it, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:45, Reply)

actually it just occurred to me that my friend might not like that!
sorry to be a shitty deleting deleter.

anyway, it was an inedible pie.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:38, Reply)

We had our flat renovated last year by working class types.
It was awful.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:38, Reply)

I have a builder coming round to the new gaff on Saturday to quote me for an extension
Got one price in already at £45K - ouch
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:41, Reply)

What the hell? why 45k

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:42, Reply)

So you've just purchased a house that isn't big enough.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:42, Reply)

just lose weight instead

( Theoban What of it, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:44, Reply)

Surely
As you have just bought the new gaff you thought to buy one that was fucking big enough that you dont need an extension straight away.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:45, Reply)

Buy the worst house in the best street
Do it up
Profit
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:48, Reply)

Profit £45k in debt
(PsychoChomp, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:49, Reply)

Approx £100K on value, based on other in the street

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:50, Reply)

until foreclosure

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:51, Reply)

meh

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:52, Reply)

£45k will get you an empty extension
then you've got to decorate it and fill it. Then you've got to pay interest on it and then you've got to sell it.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:53, Reply)

I could live in it too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:56, Reply)

Unless you're planning to sell it on again almost immediately
that isn't profit, that's value. It'll be meaningless until you sell. You'll just be 45 grand under.
( Kroney, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:54, Reply)

this is true
Fuck it though - I want a big kitchen/dining/family room
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:54, Reply)

+potential

(PsychoChomp, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:55, Reply)

Indeed.
This is assuming he's even able to sell it at the alleged increased value, of course.

Basically, what I'm saying is "shoulda boughtta bigger 'ouse".
( Kroney, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:57, Reply)

But the "bigger 'ouse" in the street we want to live are £100K more expensive

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:59, Reply)

Well, that makes sense, then.
Though I'd have bought in a different street :p
( Kroney, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 12:00, Reply)

Best street going round our way, apparently

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 12:01, Reply)

Bit like saying
Fred West was the best landlord that though
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 12:15, Reply)

Is it another new build site?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 12:02, Reply)

No, 30s semi

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 12:03, Reply)

I'm also in my 30s and I have a semi!
We're like twins.
( Kroney, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 12:05, Reply)

*fences*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 12:05, Reply)

housing is not all about quick profit
it's a home for the Sporters herd as well
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:58, Reply)

So why's he building an extension?
Either he needs extra space, in which case "shouldda boughtta bigger 'ouse", or he's trying to profit, in which case he needs to sell it again as soon as the work's done.

I don't understand these people that extend saying "it'll add value" when they don't intend to move.
( Kroney, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 12:00, Reply)

Often it's cheaper to build an extension, rather than buy a bigger house
maybe a bigger house wasn't available in the area he wants to live, i think maybe you're being a little black and white about this
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 12:01, Reply)

The hot girl from the cafe next door has a lovely bottom and despite getting clocked many times I haven't been chucked out
That's pretty good service
( Theoban What of it, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:43, Reply)

There's a girl on our support desk who has an arse like a shelf
It just goes out
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:49, Reply)

She's offering a service
You can keep your stapler on it, or maybe a copy of the financial times
( Theoban What of it, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:53, Reply)

I could keep a fucking bear on it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:54, Reply)

a bear on
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:56, Reply)

You're not really selling this arse to me.
You're kind of making it sound like a horrendous genetic accident.
( Kroney, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:56, Reply)

It is like a booty

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:59, Reply)

you could have a struggle snuggle on it

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:57, Reply)

I could have a struggle snuggle IN it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 11:59, Reply)

waht you should all do is serruptiusly take photos and upload them for our judegment, Emvee could host the pictures on hius weird porn site
this would not be creepy in any way shape or form
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 12:00, Reply)

*searches for wide-angle lens camera*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 12:02, Reply)

Try the "panorama" mode

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 12:03, Reply)

I'm not sure Jeremy Vine would be interested

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 12:04, Reply)

New thread plz

(PsychoChomp, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 12:12, Reply)

farkin dunnit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 12:25, Reply)

Free pints at the local, because he'd run out of our usual ale
Which was nice.

Bad customer service - Halifax. Sell my debt on, despite being in a payment plan and sticking to it. Admitting they're at fault, but taking 2 months to recall the debt. Having the debt company phone me 10 times a day throughout this time. Finally get debt back and an apology.

6 months after paying entire debt off, default appears on my credit record. I phone up Halifax to complain, I'm assured it'll be removed. Several months later, still on there, phone up again, assured it'll be removed. I'll find out in the next couple of weeks whether it was actually removed, or not.

Alt: No, fuck you.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 12:24, Reply)

Complain to the credit record people
they have a way of questioning things on your records which is pretty quick.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 12:26, Reply)

If it's not off in the next couple of weeks, I will
Cheers
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 24 Jan 2013, 12:27, Reply)