Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
Tell me whyYou don't like Mondays.
Alt. Best/worst minorty group and why. You can only select one from each.
Alt alt: something about massive drugs and Hawkwind.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 8:08,
216 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
I don't like Mondays because they clash with my cologne.Worst minority group is the Scots. Chippy, poverty stricken, diseased bumlords.
No MDs this weekend but I had some nice haggis.
(, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 8:12, Reply)
Mondays and more specifically work is the scourge of the drinking classes. Worst minority for me is also the Jocks. I have to agree with the dozer. Miserable, dour subjugated bastards.
Altalt: that sounds like it's for puffs.
(, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 8:17, Reply)
I for one love Mondays and my job at Grover Cleveland Elementary School.(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 8:21,
Reply)
Resetting my body clock for the 5am alarm after 2 days of letting it slip to normal people's getting up time.Alt: Best: Tall blonde Czech girls. Worst: Chavs.
(
Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 8:25,
Reply)
I don't really draw distinctions between different days of the week.They are all part of the long, slow trudge towards inevitable death and tend to merge into one after a while.
I'm going to go and listen to the Manics and maybe cut myself a bit then write some poetry for Richey4REAL4EVAINMIHART
Alt: Worst - Manics fans; best - yoghurt-weaving quinoa salad alfafa sprout world music pricks.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 8:57,
Reply)
Then your children will be next/Savile
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:17,
Reply)
The sadness will last forever.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:28,
Reply)
after this appalling subthread it surely will(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:32,
Reply)
I feel deeply ashamed for my part in it.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:33,
Reply)
I dont like today as I have a fucking stonking hangoverThe consequence of finding massive 6.4% bottles of good beer for £1.50 each. OW
Alt:
Best - Chinese. I love seeing the crazy Chinese tourists/students with no fucking clue about anything
Worst - Gingers
AltAlt:
I could do with some MDs today - brighten up my Monday
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:03,
Reply)
MORNING SPORTY(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:07,
Reply)
I actually like Mondays....Unless I have a hangoverAlt: Best minority group - B3TAns! Always welcoming and forgiving of other's weaknesses. Worst minority group - NIMBYs. I get collared by these idiots regularly now I'm living in a semi-rural area, they all complain about 'new development', conveniently forgetting the fact they are living in what was once a 'new development'. Pricks.
Alt alt: No MDs for a while, I saw Hawkwind in the 70's. IIRC they were quite good.
(, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:14, Reply)
they ruin my sunday nightalt: best are pygmies, worst are white people
alalt: i heard it turned into a massive bum riot
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:18,
Reply)
The worst are all those pricks who no longer post on here.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:27,
Reply)
I think I might sign up for mumsnet.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:32,
Reply)
you're just in a bad mood as you've got spineabifida(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:35,
Reply)
He can suck his own cock now thoughSilver linings
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:35,
Reply)
I dunno manI'm literally pond scum
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:35,
Reply)
I did my back in playing an online Star Wars game :(It really fucking hurts. That's got to be the lamest old man injury ever.
(
Kroney, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:34,
Reply)
It's not the first time. I've done it twice before.Though those times it was a Star Trek game. NEVER get the two mixed up. It leads to mobs of pitchfork wielding virgins hammering at your internet door.
(
Kroney, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:37,
Reply)
I can tell the difference.But only because I have seen Star Wars. I have never seen Star Trek.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:39,
Reply)
Oh I pictured you getting really over-excited while playing and the injury being caused by you leaping around your bedsit.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:37,
Reply)
This is one of the saddest things I've ever read on hereand that really is saying something
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:50,
Reply)
I'm double-joint on the two end joints of my little fingers, and I once broke the end-bone on my little toe.I think that's the very definition of pathetic.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:03,
Reply)
I don't like this Mondaybecause my weekly weigh-in has revealed an upturn, despite my consuming less than 2000 calories and exercising like a bastard.
Alt: Black people in Norwich. If you can find them. Which you can't, and not because it's dark a lot at this time of year. Because there aren't any.
(, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:39, Reply)
YesNet of exercise. Bumming burns a lot of calories. As does your Mum.
(, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:49, Reply)
try bumming his mum for a cumulative calorie burning effect(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:50,
Reply)
I'll probably blow up like that bloke in Live and Let DieAm proper pissed off about this. I was under the impression that if you burned more calories than you consumed, you'd lose weight. Well I most definitely have, and haven't. Science = bollocks.
(, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:53, Reply)
What does it matter to you?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:56,
Reply)
I set out to lose three stone at the start of the yearFirst one came off like a sailor on shore leave, but now I#m going backwards despite doing everything right
(, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:59, Reply)
You always plateau when losing weightKeep cracking on
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:02,
Reply)
This advice is unnecessary.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:08,
Reply)
When you've got a job to do, you gotta do it well.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:03,
Reply)
Muscle weighs more than fat.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:44,
Reply)
I didn't for one moment believe that it was, but it's one of those things you tell people to make them feel better about gaining weight when they are dieting.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:52,
Reply)
the annoying thing is that your body will favour fat over musclebecause it thinks that storing fat is more important than looking buff. stupid bodies.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:54,
Reply)
My favourite one is when they claim that they only eat salad.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:53,
Reply)
Along with "I'm just big boned""It's a glandular problem"
and my personal favourite
"It's average for my height, I'm actually 6'2", I just slouch"
Someone actually used that defence once.
(, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:54, Reply)
"It's a glandular problem"Yep, an enlarged cake gland
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:55,
Reply)
Tell a lie, my favourite is when fat people claim they're being discriminated against because of their condition"Greed" is not a condition
(, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:56, Reply)
It is a conditionThey have an under-developed face. One mouth and two hands
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:57,
Reply)
i'm confused about the impact of metabolismsome people argue that it makes all the difference in the world, need to build muscle to speed up metabolism etc. others claim that the difference between a fast and a slow metabolism actually works out to a couple of hundred extra calories a week, so basically the fatties are kidding themselves about what they are actually eating.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:04,
Reply)
I assume that fat people do a lot of lying to themselves.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:07,
Reply)
you see properly supermorbidly obese people on something like "fat families"and they're not ashamed to admit that they are like that because they overeat hugely and they are lazy. so clearly those people at least know the problem; they just don't fix it.
i think the metabolism thing kicks in when you want to shift that last stone and you want to blame it on the metabolism rather than the fact that you are eating that bit too much every day.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:09,
Reply)
Next time someone tells me they're big bonned, i'm going to reply "So is a brontasorious".(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:14,
Reply)
I reckon that Zangith weighs more than e-honda.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:02,
Reply)
You're probably full of other men's spunk after the weekendhth
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:49,
Reply)
Have a massive spunkshartProfit
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:52,
Reply)
i don't mind mondays but i did wake up in a foul mood todayalt: why do i feel vaguely that every answer to this question would be racist? people are people, jeff, not objects.
altalt: neither, thanks. got any of those thortons lemon white chocolate popping candy drops? or the cherry cola milk chocolate flavoured ones?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:53,
Reply)
Cherry cola milk chocolate sounds fucking great!(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 9:54,
Reply)
No, I am a fan of shit sweetsMorning Al
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:00,
Reply)
Why would you want sweets made of shit?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:00,
Reply)
Scats got nothing to do with it(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:02,
Reply)
they did 3 different popping candy onesbut i only tried the lemon white chocolate. now i am fancying trying the others, but the selfish bastards have turned the store near me into a bloody cornish pasty shop. that is no good.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:03,
Reply)
As a fat Scot, the thing I hate most about Mondays is the prejudice in this thread.Fuck the lorrayez
(
b3th Not shit. Not mod., Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:00,
Reply)
I find your impression of a scouser at the end of that post offensive.(, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:06, Reply)
i find your face offensivebut you haven't clawed it off in an effort to appease me yet
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:07,
Reply)
excellenti look forward to much improved fb pics
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:18,
Reply)
Your sister in law has unfriended me on facebook.The filthy bitch.
(, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:28, Reply)
did you not see her thread about it on here?she must have 2.0'd you as well. sickest of all teh burnz.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:46,
Reply)
Oh man, with search not working I can't possibly know if you're joking or not.NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
(, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:54, Reply)
i thought it was a bit harsh myselfnot so much what roota said, but all the comments afterwards. people can be so unkind.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:56,
Reply)
It's his own fault for being such a cunt.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:58,
Reply)
I once went to scottland on a lick and a promise, true story. twice actually.That's my own definition of a "lick and a promise", not the commonly accepted one.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:10,
Reply)
thank god you clarified, now this post makes sense(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:12,
Reply)
Sir David Attenborough was on the radio this morningsomebody texted in with a question asking where he hadn't been and mentioned that the texter hadn't even been to Scotland.
Sir David's response was "There could well be a very good reason for that."
I lolled.
(
Kroney, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:12,
Reply)
you're 36, why were you listening to Radio 1?(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:12,
Reply)
If you are going to pretend to be 15 online, it helps to know a few relevant cultural references.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:14,
Reply)
I see...cos yeah i was listening to the new record by "Fun Boy Three" last night, it was wizard!(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:14,
Reply)
i was flicking throughand anyway at 30, i still fall into there demographic of 16-30. you fall into Radio 2
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:15,
Reply)
I don't really pay attention to what marketing peopletell me I ought to like. I like what I like.
(
Kroney, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:16,
Reply)
I'm just saying you're not the kind of person that they want listeningyou're too old and square
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:17,
Reply)
Radio 2 can suck it.I have no interest in listening to Olivia Newton-John.
(
Kroney, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:21,
Reply)
A couple of years back I was getting concerned about the increasing amount of programmes on R2 that appealed to me.Then the BBC rejigged their programming and effectively told me I should listen to 6Music more.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:26,
Reply)
i've not listened to 6 as I haven't moved over to digital radiodo they play any rawk?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:27,
Reply)
Fuck that.Commercial radio is shit.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:32,
Reply)
If the BBC are targetting their demographics properlythen R2 ought to be playing stuff from the 90s/00s by now. They're still circling the same three Whitesnake songs around, though. It's well shit.
(
Kroney, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:28,
Reply)
I'm a big fan of The Music Goes Round with Desmond Carrington.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:32,
Reply)
Does that mean at the end of this week you will retune your radio to R2?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:17,
Reply)
all radio stations suck donkey ballsi don't want to hear some chimp wheezing on about what his kids bought him for fathers day or how he burned his wife's toast that morning. unbelievably painfully dull.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:46,
Reply)
What the fuck radio stations have you been listening to?I've never heard anything like that on R3.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:48,
Reply)
to be fair it's mostly breakfast radiogod i hate it, i hate it, i hate hearing stupid people talking at you about utter crap. just play decent music ffs.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:50,
Reply)
so do i in the mornings and afternoons when I'm drivingwith a bit of X-fm if they're talking about summit boring
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:20,
Reply)
I tried doing that, but I found I was paying more attention to the radiothan I was to the road. Radio 1 I can filter out. I can't filter out stuff that I actually find interesting.
(
Kroney, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:24,
Reply)
If you want a laugh listen to LBCit's like someone reading out the comments sections of online newspapaers
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:26,
Reply)
Is that where Vanessa Feltz broadcasts?I heard a bit of her show and felt like driving into a wall.
(, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:28, Reply)
He wants to put his finger in her foof then rub it along his top lip so he can smell her for the rest of the day.(, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:32, Reply)
Nah'. I listen to LBC, have done since I was a kid. That and TalkSport but TalkSport is now all sport so i've gone off it.(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:33,
Reply)
It's awful shouty bollocks, like having a tabloid newspaper injected into your earsBoth left and right leaning callers are as bad as each other as well
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:33,
Reply)
you don't bang on about it as much as chompyor post links to potential abodes that we can sneer at.
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:46,
Reply)
You can rent my old flat if you like, the tenants have to renew shortly anyway, very cheap for you sir(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:47,
Reply)
Does it have one of those dual aspect windowslike that house in MK? That was well nice.
(
Kroney, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:49,
Reply)
nah, but it has oak flooring and as of this week a bath that doesn't leak into the flat of the old witch downstairs(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:49,
Reply)
OAK FLOORING!That's on the list of things my girlfriend doesn't want.
(, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:51, Reply)
she is the most msierable old bag in the worldon the plus side she'll be dead soon
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:53,
Reply)
Ah, I think I may have to pass, then.I tend to make a lot of noise, what with one thing and another.
Plus you'll then know where I live, which'll make not being your personal tech support almost impossible.
Plus I'd rather gnaw my own arm off than give you money.
Plus you're a spastic and I hate you.
(
Kroney, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:55,
Reply)
But we could be neighbours!I could see into your kitchen window from my bedroom and we could get walkie-talkies and wave to each other
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:56,
Reply)
OK, but fair warningI will try and sleep with your wife. It's not something I'd do because I'm a bad person. It's more a compulsion.
(
Kroney, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 11:00,
Reply)
My mum and dad have started phoning me up for tech support.Last week my dad phoned to ask me if I knew why my mums phone hadn't charged up properly.
(, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:57, Reply)
I don't get it.He's that gay black footballer, right?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 11:18,
Reply)
I genuinely don't know how I'd respond to a question like that.(
Kroney, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:59,
Reply)
When talking to morons it is sometimes difficult to keep the words "you fucking idiot" out of the conversation.
(
Kroney, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 11:05,
Reply)
(, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 11:06, Reply)
I believe that is exactly what I just said.Do you have reading comprehension problems?
(
Kroney, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 11:07,
Reply)
Nah, looking at one tonight hopefully.Saw one on friday, it's good, but not good enough for me to say yes to it without the girlfriend seeing it. So getting a second viewing on Thursday if it doesn't get rented first.
(, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:49, Reply)
This is a witty post.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:47,
Reply)
I'm not a big fan of paedophiles(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Mon 28 Jan 2013, 10:57,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »