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(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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so following the criminalisation of squatting in resi properties
squatters are now prefacing their "it's my home and i live here so ner" notices with "it's not resi but imma live here anyway". clever? or a pisstake?
alt: afternoon tea? cream then jam, or jam then cream?
actually it's secret option c: fuck your nasty jam and cream, just have it hot with butter, but you might as well think your opinion counts.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:53,
172 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
I like hot butter on my scones.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:54,
Reply)
YES
i knew you were a man of taste
see also cheese scones. delicious.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:54,
Reply)
*agreeing with swipe*
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:56,
Reply)
correct!
Let's run away to a buttery cheesy sconey heaven.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:56,
Reply)
Alright
my long-haired lover
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:57,
Reply)
YEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
I emailed you like twice and never heard back. I was worried about you.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:59,
Reply)
You did?
I never got it. Let me gaz you the address again.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:01,
Reply)
cool.
How have you been?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:02,
Reply)
Yeah, alright
Got three guitars for christmas, so I can't complain.
How are you? How's work treating you?
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:03,
Reply)
been a bit full on really,
Got a new supervisor now though, and he seems pretty good, so work load should drop off a little, a d I can have some proper time off.
3 guitars? Anything good?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:08,
Reply)
Sweet, glad to hear it
Yeah, pretty happy with them. Waiting on some new strings for the acoustic though...the ones that come on Martin guitars are fucking awful. Like cheesewire.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:13,
Reply)
I like a Martin.
My brother is at the guitar shop in Oxford now (I may have told you before) so he brings all sorts of goodies for me. LIKE PICKS SIGNED BY FAMOUS GUITARISTS. and a harmonica.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:18,
Reply)
Wish I knew someone that worked in a guitar shop
The guys in Nevada are a bunch of pricks. ALL OF THEM!! AND I HOPE THEY'RE READING THIS!!
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:19,
Reply)
I hosted the Christmas party for PMT.
They are top blokes.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:21,
Reply)
Too many guitar shop people
are like Comic Book Guy. It's nice to know there are exceptions. The guys in Vintage & Rare in Bath are really cool too. They let me play a genuine 1962 Stratocaster. The fools!!!
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:25,
Reply)
What guitars did you get?
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:08,
Reply)
Got a Martin LXM
An Ibanez RG Bubinga with a Bareknuckle HB in the bridge, and my missus bought me this really old beat-up Japanese pile of crap, but it's because I had one when I was a kid.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:09,
Reply)
More importantly do you say "gitar" or "geetar"?
(
Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:10,
Reply)
I say "gWHYtar"
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:11,
Reply)
Oh man, you're way too cool for me.
(
Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:13,
Reply)
I'd really like to get a decent acoustic.
So yeah, if you fancy getting me a Martin or maybe a Gibson J200 or something, that'd be great.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:14,
Reply)
*makes a note*
Gotcha.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:17,
Reply)
Hi Two Hats! How's the pub?
LOL
(
Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:00,
Reply)
Oh Kroney
I think I've missed you most of all x
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:02,
Reply)
I'm glad you're back. Winders has had a right grump on without you here.
(
Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:04,
Reply)
Bless his massive, ginger heart
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:07,
Reply)
I like this.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:00,
Reply)
I like this ^
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:08,
Reply)
Thanks Battered
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:04,
Reply)
why aren't you dead?
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:06,
Reply)
I'm not entirely sure to be honest, Glued
But I've got top men working on it....
top men
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:07,
Reply)
Hello Two Hats
Please come back on here more often. Thank you x
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:11,
Reply)
Monce!
How are you, dear boy? How's the little 'un?
and by little 'un, I mean your daughter...not your worryingly small phallus
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:12,
Reply)
Psst... Ixnay on the aughterday
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:15,
Reply)
Oh, Sorry Monty...
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:17,
Reply)
It's not good at all TH.
Truly soap opera shit and I am much too middle class for all this. It's frightful.
BUT HOW ARE YOU?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:22,
Reply)
I'm sorry to hear that
Yes, I'm ok thank you. My life is a constant stream of tragedy, comedy and unbridled sexual enthusiasm. You know how it is.
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:24,
Reply)
I sure do!!!!!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:28,
Reply)
hell yes
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:58,
Reply)
cream teas is excellent, you are clearly a tea pleb
Squatters are scum and can burn for all i care
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:56,
Reply)
we were on holiday in the lake district once when i was little
and this incredibly posh southern type popped her head around the door and drawled, "ai say, do you do cream teas?"
to which the girl behind the counter, who was to be fair one chromosome short of a troll, said, "no, only milk."
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:59,
Reply)
The southern girl sounds hot.
(
Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:00,
Reply)
god, she was about 65
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:02,
Reply)
That'd make her about 110 now.
I fear I shall never lose this erection again.
(
Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:05,
Reply)
Got a right 'baguette on', yeah?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:06,
Reply)
bread stick more like
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:10,
Reply)
have you been speaking to the receptionist at his office too?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:12,
Reply)
Hah.
I'll tell you that story at some point. I was visibly cringing.
(
Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:16,
Reply)
I thought it must have just been cold
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:23,
Reply)
Filthy common Northerners
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:05,
Reply)
Ugh. The swines.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:06,
Reply)
Unlike your English, you feeble-minded imbecile.
NO OFFENCE.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:05,
Reply)
Squatters can fuck off
Alt:
Cream then jam
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:56,
Reply)
alt: Cream or butter is fine
not a fan of jam
Don't lawyers make a fortune out of such semantics anyway?
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 14:58,
Reply)
Does the legislation differentiate between using the word "residence" as a verb or a noun?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:00,
Reply)
Isn't 'reside' the verb?
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:03,
Reply)
Yes, it would be.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:06,
Reply)
It more than 'would be' son, it fackin' is.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:12,
Reply)
Shut up, Monty, they residence there and that's just the way it is.
Prick.
(
Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:15,
Reply)
that sounds like something the cream tea lady would have said
darling, we residence in the south of france during the winter
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:16,
Reply)
not enough
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:05,
Reply)
it's what you make it, spunkpants
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:04,
Reply)
heave heave heave heave heave
retch
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:08,
Reply)
+ said Battered's cock as he coaxed another load out onto his grey grundies
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:11,
Reply)
maybe don't huff them quite so deeply next time
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:11,
Reply)
I don't understand what you said about the squatters
Why aren't the other african countries sending troops to Mali?
(
Bazongaloid, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:00,
Reply)
because you touch your grandmother at night
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:05,
Reply)
can you expand on the squatters thing?
Say, some sort of link?
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:01,
Reply)
*posts link to some horrible scat image*
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:02,
Reply)
google is your friend
nutshell: squatters invariably erect a notice to say "this is my home and i live here" so that you have to go to court to get them out.
but now it's an offence to squat in a residential home.
so they have changed the notices to say "this is my home and i live here but it's not actually a dwellinghouse so you can't send me to prison".
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:04,
Reply)
What is it then if a not a dwellighouse.
Esp if you have some poor cunt saying "'Ere that's my aaahse. I've only been in the Algarve for dos weeks"
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:11,
Reply)
Mickey Flanagan is not poor.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:14,
Reply)
Apart from in the sense of 'piss-poor'
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:14,
Reply)
Do you want to come in my ass?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:16,
Reply)
FAGS MEAN GAYS IN AMERICA!!!!!!!!!
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:17,
Reply)
offices, pubs, warehouses, car showrooms, sheds...
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:16,
Reply)
None of which are really dwellinghouses.
So fuck 'em.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:18,
Reply)
1. A pisstake
2. Not for me at all. Sweet food does fuck all for me. If forced to eat scones I prefer cheese ones. Preferably Clendrix's ones. However people who say 'scone' to rhyme with 'stone' should be punched into a bathful of cold water and then have a bar fire thrown in after them. Fucking Hyacinth Bucket serfs.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:01,
Reply)
that's why the joke is what it is
what's the fastest thing in the kitchen?
scooooooone does not work.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:02,
Reply)
I can't be bothered to find it and do it
but imagine your pic you posted a while ago with your face in a cone shape
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:07,
Reply)
look, if you want to sit on my face that badly...
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:08,
Reply)
I love you
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:11,
Reply)
I would do anything for love....
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:12,
Reply)
...but I won't do scat. Oh alright then.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:15,
Reply)
That doesn't even make sense
Why would a man want to sit on a woman's face? Unless, of course, it was a last ditched attempt to avoid looking at it?
(
Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:11,
Reply)
rim job?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:15,
Reply)
Nobody actually does that, Nakers.
You're such a simpleton.
(
Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:16,
Reply)
lies on the internet
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:17,
Reply)
It's not. Nobody really does that stuff
It's just to gross out internet people.
(
Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:18,
Reply)
I bet some people do it
i bet some gays get an arse full of man fat them sit on the face of other gays and shart it out
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:20,
Reply)
You need to watch different films.
You're getting a head full of wrong.
(
Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:21,
Reply)
i beg to differ
greggs hat's mate hired a hooker and PAID HER to let HIM RIM HER.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:21,
Reply)
hmmm tasty hooker shit
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:21,
Reply)
Did she have a wash first?
(
Bazongaloid, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:21,
Reply)
funnily enough
i didn't ask
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:22,
Reply)
No, he didn't.
He just SAID he did.
(
Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:21,
Reply)
poor kroney
so so naive
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:22,
Reply)
I bet that WAS Gregg's Hat. And not a "mate".
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:24,
Reply)
Bebbeh!
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:24,
Reply)
I lol every time I read that
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:24,
Reply)
It's pure sleaze.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:26,
Reply)
Right, seriously. Being rimmed might feel nice for the recipient. Fair enough.
But actually doing the rimming is very much a "oh, alright then" sort of deal. Why, WHY would you actually want to rim someone enough to pay a whore to drop her pants for you?
(
Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:25,
Reply)
A shit taste in women?
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:26,
Reply)
the lols?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:26,
Reply)
"I'm licking somebody's shitknot lol?"
The world's gone mad.
(
Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:28,
Reply)
your mum rims me once a week
She said it tastes like an old 2p piece
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:22,
Reply)
Haha
(
Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:23,
Reply)
Your tuppence tastes of tuppence
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:25,
Reply)
"mate"
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:24,
Reply)
Wasn't baz's special move licking girls' bumholes?
Maybe that's the real reason Stunned killed him.
Perhaps he licked Mrs Stunned's bumhole.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:24,
Reply)
He did like a lick
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:25,
Reply)
I seen it in movies
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:18,
Reply)
No thanks, I've just eaten
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:17,
Reply)
haha
(
Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:19,
Reply)
sigh
he wants to picture my head shaped like a cone. so that he can sit on it.
ie he wants to sit on a cone.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:15,
Reply)
I'm glad someone is brave enough to tackle the most important issue here.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:07,
Reply)
Stupid fucking hippies.
Alt: Jam then cream. No tea though, thanks.
I prefer them cold if I have butter on them.
(
Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:04,
Reply)
I fucking detest squatters.
One of my friends has spent most of his adult life avoiding getting a job in one form or another, which included going to live around europe in squats. He got taken in by those pricks, and I can't stand a single one of those smug cunts.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:04,
Reply)
How old is he?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:09,
Reply)
Same age as me.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:19,
Reply)
How old is that?
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:24,
Reply)
Oh, 29.
It was sometime after his second attempt at uni, at 23, when he started doing the squat thing. Same upbringing as me, financially, not a bad one.
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:25,
Reply)
6 years of dossing around.
Nice work if you can get it.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:33,
Reply)
More than that, both uni and both collage attempts were dissing too.
Openly admitted he only went for the life experience v
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:45,
Reply)
afternoon tea is for the nearly dead
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:04,
Reply)
afternoon tea is for getting cunted on champagne and ignoring the curling sandwiches
i can get on board with that
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:06,
Reply)
You've got cunted written all over your face.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:09,
Reply)
Curling sandwiches?
Bagsie not one of the broom guys.
(
Kroney, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:14,
Reply)
you've got curling written all over your face
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:19,
Reply)
Not much problem with squatter round here...
... mostly it's deluded landlords who think that, because of the semi-rural location, they can tout out any old crap for massively inflated prices.
Alt: Secret option c all the way! Good salty butter too - none of this unsalted forrin crap. Cheese scones are truly awesome too - I must make some soon!
(
Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:06,
Reply)
FYI it's cream then jam
and I do not like raisins in my scone
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:14,
Reply)
I have never even seen that abomination. Must be some 'West London gay scene' shit.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:16,
Reply)
A raisonless scone?
(
Bazongaloid, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:17,
Reply)
The opposite.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:19,
Reply)
A sconeless raison?
(
Bazongaloid, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:20,
Reply)
BURN IT!
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:20,
Reply)
Yes, that. You have it precisely.
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:21,
Reply)
I'm lost.
You've never seen a raisin?
(
Bazongaloid, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:23,
Reply)
RAISINS. IN A SCONE.
HE-LLO??????
(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:29,
Reply)
What's the deal with that?
(
Bazongaloid, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:31,
Reply)
*Seinfeld shrugging*
*Seinfeld not shrugging*
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:35,
Reply)
i hate raisins
they are grapes that missed their vocation by not being turned into wine
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:22,
Reply)
I like this
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:25,
Reply)
They look like rabbit shit.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:25,
Reply)
Not surprised it upsets you to see all that potential dried up.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:25,
Reply)
hahahaha!
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:26,
Reply)
Haha
(
G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩€, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:28,
Reply)
I don't mean to brag I don't mean to boast
But I like hot butter on my breakfast toast.
Not really into scones, they're a bit middle class for me.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:30,
Reply)
You're Scottish.
Thunderbird is a bit middle class for you.
(
Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:34,
Reply)
McEwans is what I give to guests on very special occasions
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 29 Jan 2013, 15:36,
Reply)
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