Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
(
rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
alright alrightdo you have any limits/boundaries? what are they? (so that we can in no way cross them)
alt: it's supposed to be a psychologically tested fact that 4 x your annual salary is enough to bribe anyone to do anything. would this work for you?
altalt: i am buying chocolates for my valentines date berk tonight. what should i get her?
altaltalt: what question you would ask if battered forced you to start a new thread at gunpoint (so threat of kneecapping) but you had no questions to ask?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:16,
187 replies,
latest was 13 years ago)
Heres one who breaks ALL THE RULES.b3ta.com/questions/badmanagement/post752028
(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:48,
Reply)
is that the best poor qotw you can find to be mean to?(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:06,
Reply)
no no..no no no no....no no no no.. Alt:I could be temped but there are even somethings I wouldn't do
Alt:alt: A lob on
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:19,
Reply)
I thought that as I typed it(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:19,
Reply)
Then you thought "I won't do that"?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:20,
Reply)
But I did do that(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:27,
Reply)
Now Orvill…….Wait sorry wrong song
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:30,
Reply)
Yes, of courseAlt: No. "Anything" is a bit too broad for me.
Altalt: Not bothered
Altaltalt: What's the capital of China?
(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:19,
Reply)
You need to be more specific about the limits/boundaries or is this just buttsex?(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:19,
Reply)
okit was inspired by the instant oscar jokes and someone saying that there is no such thing as too soon on b3ta. dead babies, dead parents, bankruptcy, fingering dogs, fucking dogs.... it's all up for grabs.
so where is YOUR boundary, you raddled old pervert?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:21,
Reply)
well make one upthen we can test it.
how about your mum seducing your mrs?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:22,
Reply)
hahaha!OK then - no fucking my Mum or my Mrs. They are both mine (by the hour)
(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:24,
Reply)
alt: not enoughaltalt: doesn't matter long as it's chocolate, and she doesn't have allergies.
altaltalt: Do prostitutes find height an issue?
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:20, Reply)
Oooooh, questionsThe borders of Derbyshire.
Alt: No. Four times your salary maybe.
AltAlt: Depends which base you want to get to.
AltAltAlt: "Pele or Maradona, who's bestest?"
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:25, Reply)
four times my salary would make me do a lotbut not anything
i read that as madonna. which would be a better question.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:26,
Reply)
Madonna would batter Pele in a fightHe's a right tough old ex-bird.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:28, Reply)
battered wouldn't even get out of bed for 4x your salary(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:29,
Reply)
He walked across Middle Earth just for a fucking ring(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:33,
Reply)
Not really, I don't really care about stuff, I wonder most of the time if I'm emotionally dead inside, but then I realise I don't care and just have another piealt: Depends on what they're asking, I'd do most things for 4x my salary, or 3x, or 2x, or €50
altalt: CHOC COCK
altaltalt: I'd ask who's your favourite Spice Girl
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:27,
Reply)
Woah man I didn't mean owt by itPlease don't hurt me Mr. Dukaz
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:30,
Reply)
Oh I seeYes of course you can have Scary Spice she's all yours Mr. Dukaz.
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:31,
Reply)
quick give me your bank account detailsi'll look after them
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:31,
Reply)
Maybe you could check the balance and tell me what's in there?(
Theoban What of it, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:32,
Reply)
-£1.37and some very very dodgy debit card receipts.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:37,
Reply)
it looks as if you spend your lifeeating tesco egg sandwiches and wanking to granny porn
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:38,
Reply)
Jesus I wishWhat a life that'd be
Fucking hell, might do that tonight
Ta love
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:40,
Reply)
as it's a special occasion, treat yourself to a pot noodle too!(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:42,
Reply)
I might y'knowI've not had a Pot Noodle for years
Haute cuisine at its finest
You foreigners don't know what you're missing out on
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:43,
Reply)
shit my home town is in the west riiding tooWELL THERE GOES THAT ATTEMPT AT BEING SNOBBISH
THANKS INTERNET
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:47,
Reply)
nobody fucks canadiansthey're far too dull
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:49,
Reply)
well, i was born therebut i live in kensington now. in your face, barnesy-boy
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:49,
Reply)
I was born in Hammersmith in the building that is now Sony HQI knew you were from up there, but Halifax, isn't that like one of the most deprived places on earth?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:51,
Reply)
firstly no, it has posh bitssecondly, we didn't LIVE there. but i had to be born there, so that i could play cricket for yorkshire. a rule that they've now changed.
anyway you weren't born. you hatched.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:53,
Reply)
I heard Badmons Dukaz was sewn together from bits of dead SAS soldiers(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:55,
Reply)
I was forged between a volcano and Fatima Whitbread's thighs(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:57,
Reply)
I heard Badmons Dukaz formed himself out of the aether, using nothing but pure will and a jammie dodger(
Theoban What of it, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:57,
Reply)
That so reminds me of thiswww.youtube.com/watch?v=K2huJqFsFDE
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:01,
Reply)
But that must forever be on your record, you know for when you wanna get visas and stuff?Do you still have a Halifax accent?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:58,
Reply)
yes it means they fast track mefor being from god's own country.
how could i have, i've never lived there! i sound pretty accentless really, combination of cheshire and buckinghamshire.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:00,
Reply)
Old(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:36,
Reply)
Everyones younger than meCries
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:39,
Reply)
I'M EIGHTY FOUR YOU KNOWWHEN I WAS YOUR AGE WE HAD GUINEAS
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:41,
Reply)
Time were hard when I was a kidHad to walk to school uphill both ways
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:43,
Reply)
I did my schooling down a mine shaftFirst light I saw it was my eighteenth birthday, my parents had saved up eighteen years of ear wax to make me a candle on my coal cake.
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:46,
Reply)
Mine shaft you lucky bleederWe was so poor we didn't even have floors
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:48,
Reply)
Neither did weWe just had to hang on cords
The cords were made from rats tails knotted together
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:52,
Reply)
AT LEAST YOU HAD MEAT(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:53,
Reply)
IT TURNED OUT IT WAS ME DEAD SISTER WE WERE EATING(
Theoban What of it, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:58,
Reply)
check to see if you are completely dead inside or not by imagining that pie crossing the road to be with you but then being crushed by a lorrychicken and peas amongst broken pastry all over the road, gravy splashed in your face
(
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:12,
Reply)
So people tell me, but I feel my reputation in this area is somewhat inflated by rumour.(
Kroney, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:36,
Reply)
You often get toldthat you're a huge length of rope, trawled around the outskirts of a vast expanse of grass in order to denote the edge of the field of play in a game of cricket, spelt badly?
How bizarre.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:41, Reply)
I know, I don't really understand it either.But there we go.
(
Kroney, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:43,
Reply)
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:41,
Reply)
Do you respect the boundary between East and West Timor?(
Theoban What of it, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:30,
Reply)
Generally speaking, yes.Although I think the line has been drawn somewhat arbitrarily.
(
Kroney, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:34,
Reply)
That's kind of a touchy subject, Nakers, old boy.Caused a spot of bother a while back, that boundary. Ergo, I shall respect it.
(
Kroney, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:35,
Reply)
You can touch my subject any day of the week(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:36,
Reply)
I bet you've got a wide on like the Blackwell Tunnel(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:39,
Reply)
Is that the third-stage Pokemon-style upgrade of Megatron and Galvatron?(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:40, Reply)
I don't think you're really a shitA bit shit, but not a shit.
In fact you're not as shit as people say. The popular acronym ought to be WTD in my opinion.
OOH MYSTERY
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:39, Reply)
A shit, A shitnot shit
ta though, i know I'm the best one here, shall i send you the fan pack?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:40,
Reply)
I'll have to unsubscribe from my JMG newsletter and activity packbut yeah
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:44, Reply)
Mine includes a 1/8th scale model of me punching a horse that you build up over the weeks(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:47,
Reply)
We all love you Badmons DukazEven them that are too scared to admit they don’t
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:48,
Reply)
Not that big a mystery.Though I'd replace "Worse Than" with "More Tedious Than".
(
Kroney, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:48,
Reply)
What have you got in mind?I'll give most things a try.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 15:59,
Reply)
ok1- eating meat
2 - snogging al
3 - punching an old lady in the face
4 - amputating a finger
5 - emailing a joke about april jones to her parents
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:01,
Reply)
Why have you got snogging Al in mind?I knew a hate-fuck couldn't be too far away for you two.
(
Kroney, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:04,
Reply)
1. Probably not, although I have eaten meat before.2. Yeah sure.
3. Depends on the old lady, but I doubt I've got much of a punch anyway.
4. This is a definite no - I use all of them.
5. Wouldn't take too much persuading.
(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:04,
Reply)
Disappointed that Al hasn't posted to say we're on for this snog.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:26,
Reply)
just been having a look about on TripAdvisor for somewhere for lunch on Sunday, And came across a new coffee shop up the road from my pub. One of the reviews
" I live in London and study part time in Oxford.
I have been to so many great places in London (Kaffeine, Tapped&Packed, Prufrock, Ozone, Flat White, Ginger and Croft....and many more) and was so happy to find the same quality in my last visit to Oxfordshire rd :-).
Beautiful Synesso machine, great beans, perfect Flat White and very friendly service! what can you ask for more? and yes, the Banana bread was delicious as well.
You can have great Filter coffee and tea as well..."
And loads of bollocks about a "burgeoning oxford coffee scene to rival london"
It's coffee, possibly very good coffee, but still coffee.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:01,
Reply)
I'm burgeoning over a picture of your mum right now(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:05,
Reply)
I know, at first i thought she'd kept her pants on...(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:07,
Reply)
I thought this was going to be about your pubCoffe makes me awake, tastes alright and helps with headaches.
I like it black, none of this fancy pants shit
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:05,
Reply)
It's that age old problem of people being pricks again.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:11,
Reply)
yeah. It's been open a month, and has 15 reviews, 14 five star gushing "oh my god this is the beginning of a coffee revolution"
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:16,
Reply)
How long do you give them then?(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:18,
Reply)
dunno, The last coffee shop that opened up this way lasted 4 months ish.
Problem is, Oxford has 4 coffee shops run by the same blokes dotted in all the right places in town, do decent coffee, morning deals all that shit, and everyone loves them, so goes there.
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:35,
Reply)
I haven't had a cup of coffee in nearly 3 years. 3 YEARS!
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:47,
Reply)
Coffee is ace once in a whileHave a cup every so often you might surprise yourself
Love from the coffee guru
(
Theoban What of it, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:49,
Reply)
did you once go off the rails and drink too much coffee? (
glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 17:39,
Reply)
I I am only 25 :(
(
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:47,
Reply)
Always been the problem with TripAdvisor Most of the reviews are written by or for the establishment
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:19,
Reply)
the follow ups from the manager are horrid too. (
Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:31,
Reply)
As it's slow I'm gonna suggest that anyone who doesn't listen to the Bronx really shouldthe are fucking amazing
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:16,
Reply)
nuff saidwww.youtube.com/watch?v=3GKxIsCkOSQ
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:19,
Reply)
One minute in - I'm not convinced so far.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:22,
Reply)
He just said a swear!(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:23,
Reply)
i found out last weekend they were playing 1 show in London on Tues, but i had no friends so couldn't go :o((
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:24,
Reply)
Actually, don't bother - they're not very good.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:25,
Reply)
NO YOURN NOT VERY GOODin other news I have three bootles of black sheep under my desk, if I decanted into a mug, do you reckon I'd get away with it?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:27,
Reply)
what?who has year end part way through the month, part way through the year?
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 17:05,
Reply)
Tonight will involve some heavy drinking to numb the effetcs of today's misery(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 17:04,
Reply)
Tru dat. Thai food and wine are required. If Rosa Parks was in Badmons Dukaz's seat she would move to the back
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 17:05, Reply)
So how will you be spending the evening?Did you get Monty a card?
(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 17:04,
Reply)
I have received a small text de-brief.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 17:08,
Reply)
well yeahany text of you without your briefs would have to be...
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 17:09,
Reply)
Fuck you lotI'm solid gone
(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 16:58,
Reply)
Battered, I want some points for not posting something in the new QOTWabout drink-driving and murdering prostitutes in Poland, punctuated by an hilarious bit about the answers being suggested by you as well.
(, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 17:23, Reply)
Any chance we can have this in English? ta(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 14 Feb 2013, 17:25,
Reply)
« Go Back | Reply To This »