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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Good evening.
I am thinking about studying something. Not work related, some sort of evening course.

Your suggestions please.

Alt: we hear a lot about YM. Tell all about YD.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 18:43, 117 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Environmental Health.
The eho are short handed these days, and struggling to get to all businesses they would like. And you get a fancy coat and van.

Alt. Civil engineer. Top bloke. Not terribly sociable. Bit racist.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 18:47, Reply)
Do you think the racism and sociability may be related?

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 18:52, Reply)
I dunno, I heard hitler did good dinner parties

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:04, Reply)
Vegetarian food though.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:05, Reply)
not at all,
He was a rugby player, got injured, couldn't drink for a few months, realised all his friends were rugby player dicks, never bothered making any new friends.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:45, Reply)
Welding.
Or crochet.

These are both on my list of "pointless shit to learn at some point or sutin"

alt: a great silver bearded bear of a man with hands like shovels
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 18:53, Reply)
knit a chainmail cardigan

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 18:54, Reply)
take a raconteur course

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 18:54, Reply)

Advanced swearing (online)

Alt: head teacher with a great sense of humour and humanity. I miss him.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 18:54, Reply)
catalogue modelling.
You don't want to hear about mine.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 18:55, Reply)
Ah yes.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 18:56, Reply)
terrible bullying

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:12, Reply)
Unintentional. x

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:14, Reply)
I know xx

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:17, Reply)
Something practical? Arty?
How about woodwork or plumbing?
I've always fancied a guitar building course but there's nothing anywhere near me.
Alt: Engineer, Burma veteran, Fairbairn-Sykes graduate. Nice guy. Dead.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 18:57, Reply)
My plumbing (poly push fit and copper) is ok, can fit rads etc. done a carpentry course before. Don't fancy a sparks course; that shift is witchcraft.
Got city & guilds in diesel mechanics. Could maybe do petrol engines.

Plastering could be useful. I'm shit at it, though my rendering is passable.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:01, Reply)
Saw a marquetry and inlay course locally
Looked really interesting until I saw the price! It was cancelled due to lack of candidates - @ what worked out at £35.00 per 2 hour lesson I wasn't surprised.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:11, Reply)
Sign Language
Or failing that, why not learn to play the drums.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:02, Reply)
Not sure the drums would work at home, the only time I could practise would clash with micro sleeping.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:05, Reply)
You could sound proof the shed and have your drums in there.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:06, Reply)
My shed is full of amazing tools. Mind you, good excuse for a second shed!

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:11, Reply)
You are an amazing tool.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:19, Reply)
I fit in well with my selection of DeWalt kit.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:20, Reply)
I know one of their product managers.
Works for Black & Decker.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:21, Reply)
Yeah B&D bought them a while ago. Only change is new stuff has crap batteries.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:23, Reply)
I'll pass that on xx

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:24, Reply)
It's well known.
I have an 18v cordless, corded SDS drill & corded 5.5" angle grinder.

Need a bench mitre. Will get a Makita as the DeWalt ones are stupidly expensive. Their circular saws aren't as good as Bosch.

Also want a multi-tool, but no idea what to get.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:27, Reply)
is Makita stuff any good then?

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:28, Reply)
Handy if you are doing a kitchen.
*Martika lolz*
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:30, Reply)
please die

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:30, Reply)
Depends on the tool. Cordless drills etc are shit.
It's the same with any brand, some things they do are good, some not. Hence why I wouldn't have a DW circular saw
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:30, Reply)
Learn a musical instrument.
You were talking about learning to play the banjo not long ago.

Alt: Looks just like me, sells all his jokes to Lokesy.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:02, Reply)
That's a very good point, had forgotten about the banjo. May well do this. Ta.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:04, Reply)
Decide which style you want to play
Then go to www.andybanjo.com to pick the right type of banjo for the style.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:07, Reply)

andy ashley
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:08, Reply)
I don't get this.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:09, Reply)
I wish I didn't, but the Doris likes those dancing telly shows.
Ashley Banjo is some sort of dancer.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:10, Reply)
Sounds bent.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:11, Reply)
It is.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:11, Reply)
Great. Thanks.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:10, Reply)
Yeah but a 'musical instrument' was mentioned
Can't see where this applies to the banjo*

*Tongue firmly in cheek.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:08, Reply)
Banjos are the shittest thing ever to happen to the world.
They've persuaded a whole generation of talentless shitcunts that they have some musical ability. A generation with access to fucking youtube.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:12, Reply)
I would only learn it for my own enjoyment; not to 'perform'.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:14, Reply)
it's a gateway prickstrument
next you'll be learning the ukelele 'only for special occasions'
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:16, Reply)
Ukes are for shitcunts who are too shitcunt to manage a banjo.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:31, Reply)
So you're a bouzouki man, eh?

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:37, Reply)
This is a sex thing, right?

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:47, Reply)
Yes.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:14, Reply)
Quite like the look of the bouzouki
I have a mandola that I'm working on at the moment. The action's terrible and the intonation's off by a mile but hopefully I can make it playable - new bridge, possibly a neck reset. If not, it's quite decorative just hung on the wall.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:47, Reply)
I fancy getting a mandola next.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:15, Reply)
I got it cheap, never played one before - I'm a bit of an acoustic guitar collector
Like the sound though - just got to get it half way playable!
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:27, Reply)
Keep an eye out for Clive & Mat Ryder
Local father and son band who play old-time American folk.
Mat is a great mandola player.
Some proper frailing on the banjo too.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:58, Reply)
I can appreciate the skill in banjo playing
I just don't like the sound - except for 'Banjo song' by Seasick Steve
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:16, Reply)
CRYPTOZOOLOGY
Alt. Looks like Jarvis Cocker but got his eyes lasered so without the glasses now. Civil Servant (boo!) but retiring early this Year (yay!). Has just made his life more difficult by moving his Mother into an upstairs bedroom for her final years.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:06, Reply)
or very clever.
She "fell" down the stairs officer.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:52, Reply)

I'm watching Anthony Bourdain on the telly. He's in Japan.

You like cooking. Why not do one of those Japan cooking courses?
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:09, Reply)
Not a massive fan of Japanese food. Sashimi is ok, but that's about it.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:10, Reply)
Do the Duke of Edinburgh 'bronze' award.
Future employers will be dead impressed.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:09, Reply)
Bit old for that.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:11, Reply)
Do 'the knowledge'.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:12, Reply)
Ergh. How working class.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:13, Reply)
But you can charge foreigns what ever you like.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:15, Reply)
As if I would ever have foreigns in any vehicle I owned.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:17, Reply)
Good point.
Image in a brown one tried to get in your car.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:22, Reply)
Do 'The Bartman'

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:13, Reply)
Do, do, do....
Come on and do the conga.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:14, Reply)
You're obviously feeling better if the puns are back.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:15, Reply)
Far from better, just very very bored.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:16, Reply)
Do you have sickness cover or are you losing days?

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:18, Reply)
I'm losing cash
It isn't worth the cost of cover as I need to be pretty sick before I won't go in. Looking like I'll lose three days. Friday today and tomorrow.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:21, Reply)
The cost of sickness cover shouldn't cost that much.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:22, Reply)
I can recommend an IFA in Brizzle

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:32, Reply)
Jeff is 'reasonably senior in financial services'. I know this as it's what he told my wife on the phone once.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:33, Reply)
I look forward to meeting her in **** for the special secret gathering, armed with my print out
Of you comments about her parents.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:36, Reply)
Trust me, she knows my views.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:36, Reply)
But seeing them in print will make it all the more special.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:37, Reply)
If I want one, I'll speak to Steve Lansdown.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:34, Reply)
Languages are always good.
Or something practical. Plumbing, car mechanics, first aid...?
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:22, Reply)
I like tangles reminder of the banjo. Had forgotten that.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:24, Reply)
Some kind of musical instrument might be good
Whether a banjo falls into that category is. ...hmmmm.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:27, Reply)

Yeah, only one string.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:37, Reply)

I'm sat oppersite some gangster guy on the train who is listening to some reggae music without head phones. I can't concentrate on my book and he has been staring at me without blinking for 6 stops.

Please tell mum that I love her very much if I end up as a jerk chicken.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:39, Reply)
Get up in his grill
And call him a bloodclot whilst slapping him 'upside' the head.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:43, Reply)
The following words could be used:
'Ya bamba, gonna give lick upside ye head if ye don stop the eye eye'.

Alternatively, move seats.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:46, Reply)
get your winky out.
The only way to beat a tube weirdo, is to be more of a tube weirdo.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:48, Reply)
He might just fancy you

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:48, Reply)

fancy

kill
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:49, Reply)
Who doesn't?

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:51, Reply)
100% of the female species, apart from Pickle Fairy.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:53, Reply)
Are we a different species?
I thought we were a different model of the same species...
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:57, Reply)
You lot with the axe wounds aren't human.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:57, Reply)
Not one week out of every four, we're not.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:02, Reply)
4/4

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:07, Reply)
:-p

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:10, Reply)
Offer him a Pringle.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:50, Reply)

Pringle


Blowjob.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:50, Reply)
this reminds me of some wonderful subtitles on a Jamaica new film that had "wosup raasclart"
As "what is going on, bum cloth?"

Technically correct I suppose, but lacking a certain something.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:50, Reply)
bumcloth is an excellent insult

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:55, Reply)
You're still alive then. How's the ski-ing trip with Rory going?

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:55, Reply)
well it's all going downhill

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:58, Reply)
WTJTDF

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:01, Reply)
Not possible.

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:02, Reply)
i don't know these modern sayings
something about jeff?
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:05, Reply)
Evening, Bumcloth!
How's you?
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:56, Reply)
wassup bumcloth!
I'm not bad. I got tea and I'm inside and the snow is outside. You?
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:58, Reply)
Stranger^

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 19:59, Reply)
Even stranger ^

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:00, Reply)
i am normaller

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:00, Reply)
yeah, not bad, ta.
Just watching University Challenge, and thinking about whether I want any tea.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:01, Reply)
how many questions did you get right
was it more than the contestants?
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:02, Reply)
It's only just started!
However, I did go to the pub quiz on my own last night, because Himself was ill.
Six other teams, none smaller than four contestants, and I totally fucking won.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:04, Reply)
good work
I may or may not be off to mine in a mo. We won't win
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:05, Reply)
WTB

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:05, Reply)
?

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:06, Reply)
WT = Worse Than

(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:07, Reply)
fair enough
in that case, yes I am. My quizzing skills are poor and the quiz hard
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:07, Reply)
How are you at crafts (silver-smithing, etc.)?
Alt: big, lanky, bearded, works as a roofer, looks about 70 despite being in his mid-50s. Doesn't talk much.
(, Mon 11 Mar 2013, 20:34, Reply)

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