Off TopicAre you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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So, today is Coincidence Day. What are the chances of that eh? On today of all days!!!Tell us about your world of kerazzy coincidences.
Alt: Tell us about something else
Altalt: Don't, then. I don't fucking care.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:01,
225 replies,
latest was 12 years ago)
It was an incredible coicidence that YM had an impacted colon the very same night I stayed over after the pub and took a 'wrong turning' on the way to the lavatory in the night.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:02,
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i don't see how this is better than a morning thread(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:02,
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What a coincidence!I was just thinking the same thing!!!!
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:04,
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you need to read the secret hidden question underneath dude(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:04,
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sorry, i don't look underneath dudes(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:07,
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then you only have yourself to blame for missing monty's jewels(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:10,
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Some people are their own worst enemies.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:11,
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are you scottish too?(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:13,
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you ended a sentence with pal, people who end a sentence with pal are usually scottish(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:16,
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9 out of 10 breeders recommend this(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:17,
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i'm gonna have a mug of bovril(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:39,
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I went to Bradford a few years ago and was walking past the train station when someone walked out right in front of meIt was my mate - who didn't even live in Bradford
Alt:
I have a dishwasher correctly plumbed in now. Back in the 20th century! \o/
AltAlt:
Y SO SAD?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:03,
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I 'plumbed' YM's 'dishwasher' in last night(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:05,
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I was just going to post this thread(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:05,
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I hate it when I agree with Polly Toynbeewww.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/mar/12/mansion-tax-labour-super-rich
(, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:06, Reply)
You see I like grapes but not these SOUR ONES(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:13,
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You communists are all the same. I am so incensed by this I might sack my cleaner.
(, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:14, Reply)
Typical Grauniad politics of envythough the council tax revaluation is long overdue.
(, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:16, Reply)
The politics of envy is a most retarded phrase used in politics I think.(, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:18, Reply)
Well, I just got emailed by somebody who said "I feel like you judged me for being stupid"AND I TOTALLY HAD! How about that?
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Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:11,
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intentional and unintentional irony here i see(
rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:26,
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I can handle working with idiotsbut I cannot suffer people being rude to me. Rude people really make me mad.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:29,
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People are often rude to me because they equate "IT" with "servant".They're often quite surprised when I'm rude back or if I tell them I won't put up with their attitude and hang up.
Idiots really frustrate me, though.
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Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:31,
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What do you make of this?www.list.co.uk/article/49519-corrie-star-bill-roache-to-talk-to-dogs-with-psychic/
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:40,
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Woah, Senior?Right, I'm not touching this with a barge pole...those senior guys can fuck you up.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:45,
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You are right to have this attitude.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:47,
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Check out their "5 beard trends of 2012"I was not trendy in 2012, it turns out.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:53,
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I don't think I've ever been trendyBeard or not
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:53,
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I think charlatanism should be punishable by firing squad.As should being stupid enough to be taken in by one.
As should glorifying the whole sorry spectacle on television.
So the psychic, the actor, the crew of This Morning and the everybody at ITV that allowed it to happen. I'll throw in the dogs too, as they should have bitten everyone involved.
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Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:43,
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It staggers me that people still believe in this rotBut there we are. Each to his own.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:45,
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:42,
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I blame Britain going decimal, I don't know about you(
Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:46,
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I blame The Windrush. It was a 'dark' day when that fucker docked KNOWORRAMEAN?
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:50,
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Alright Lurch?Just had the first of 4 very boring presentations over the next couple of days.
Yourself?
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:54,
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Not bad. Today is a bit slow. Got a better bonus than I thought I would. Chompy and the other communists will be pleased to get their grubby tax mittens on that.
Got dinner at Bentley's Oyster Bar & Grill the neet.
(, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:57, Reply)
I've heard Bentley's is good. Never been.I hope your brucie was sufficient to keep you in the one percent club.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:02,
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How dare you?I'm a socialist. Prick.
Well, sort of. Not a very good one. Frankly I find all those workers' rights marching proper tedious and think striking's for cunts and so on.
Really more of a capitalist with a conscience. I don't have much of one of those, either.
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Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:08,
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I was just thinking the sameI'd like to claim that's a coincidence, but in fact it's a lie.
(, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:53, Reply)
Yeah someone should start one about salted peanuts eh?That'd be well lol (!)
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:54,
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I may have been slightly inebriated when I posted that.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:55,
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I sincerely hope you have that as an excuse.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:58,
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I don't think I like my new work shirt.It looks a bit like I'm wearing a French cafe's tablecloth.
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Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:53,
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You that sort of gingham pattern?it's that in blue. it looks like it was made from apron.
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Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:01,
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Got to be an improvement on that awful jumper.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:55,
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You're just upset because the young fashionista of the groupwas all over it. She was hiding it behind sarcasm, like, but I knew the truth.
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Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:57,
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If I said you had a beautiful jumper would you hold it against me? (, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:00, Reply)
In that group you wouldn't need to be particularly young or that dedicated a follower of fashion to be considered 'the young fashionista'(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:11,
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Says the dreadlocked, bearded druid wearing a fucking hempen smock.(
Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:26,
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In other news I've just had chilli cheese fries\o/
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:57,
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Fucking damn straight unfortunately the tip of my tie went in it
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:59,
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At 11am?Dear God man, you BEAST.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:59,
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Fuck the rules Rebel aint I
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:00,
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It was rather pleasant(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:01,
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He he I get this
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:02,
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The defence points to "4 pints of black sloppy shite" mentioned earlier(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:03,
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Could probably add 'obese' to this list.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:02,
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Alright Mr Houmous-for-breakfast MAYBE YOU SHOULD LOOK AT YOUR OWN COLOUR BEFORE CALLING PEOPLE BLACK (, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)
I am now waiting for Gonz to appear and detail his own version of this.Probably a version that is deep fried in crab spunk and requires you to add half a litre of double cream.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:04,
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I went for the medium chilli They do a very nice fire brand chilli
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:07,
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By sheer coincidence I too had to spend more than £200 and wait over two hours to get to work!That did happen to you all too, didn't it?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:04,
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Not at allI drove in, missed the traffic and parked for free
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:06,
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I was debating that as I drove in.(
tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:08,
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Workshy public sector Bob Crow SCUM(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:10,
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he was on question time. He's like a lardy ball of cunt ramblings.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:17,
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Nope but it was 'a bit cold' if that makes you feel any better.(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:07,
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Sorry Monts, I should have realised other people have a lot more to deal with.My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:09,
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He's been trying to run it on yak yogurt instead of petrol.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:10,
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He tried to make it run on chip fat and blocked up the fuel line.(
Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:11,
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For cod's sake. No more of these terrible puns.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:13,
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Chicken shit powered cars are all the rage in the green communityThe sporty ones are upgraded by Cooper
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:13,
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I think his big hens gone(
hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:14,
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Eggstremely difficult to fix, those(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:15,
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It happened to me onceI was spitting feathers
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:30,
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Well let's write this off as a lesson learnt, eh?(
Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:11,
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I'm being bullied by Qotw Monty. I'm never going back there again. Horrid horrid bullies.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:16,
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I saw that earlier I think Jan and Ringo hate you
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:19,
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me and Janet were in love once. Then I called her husband a humourless prick because he Internet hard manned at me.
Since then. Hatred.
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Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:20,
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How DARE you get that wrong whilst living in Oxford?The DISSONANCE, man, the DISSONANCE
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Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:23,
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www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-21753860
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:16,
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*looks at surprise-ometer**taps screen*
*changes batteries, tutting*
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:17,
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Lol.www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1704403--when-receiving-a-CRAP-mothers-day-gift-from-the-husband
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:24,
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Miserable ungrateful bitch.At least he made the effort.
He won't next year.
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:25,
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this^Fuck that for a game of cards.
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:26,
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Fucking pussiesDid you get an excellent present for Father's Day?
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:26,
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A photo album full of about 200 pictures of the three of us as a family (in chronological order) starting from the day my daughter was born.My wife put a massive amount of time in to it.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:30,
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That really is an excellent present(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:31,
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Yes. I doubt I'll get anything like that this year.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:31,
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My two wouldnt even get out of the car to go to the floristsLazy cunts
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:33,
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I'd have been all "fuck's sake, where's my PS3? What is this shit?"(
Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:32,
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I think there was a bit more to it than that.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:35,
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She should feel luckysince she's not his mother, he didn't have to get her anything.
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Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:26,
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Ha ha, there's one response from a poster saying "I got cold tea in bed from my 8 year old. We don't let her use the kettle"
Sorry love your child is a retard and it's your fault.
(, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:27, Reply)
'DS brought me a cup of tea in bed and the news that the cat had thrown up in the kitchen.'
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:29,
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Mrs Cow got our two going nuts for the entire day, causing her to burst into tears(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:29,
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Its the thought that counts(
sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:32,
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I think that's rather sweet.My kid gave me a picture of a load of animals, and I think she got Gonz to do the captions as apparently there is an 'african giroff', a 'pone', a 'woross', a 'whayol' and 'kung fu panda' on it.
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Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:37,
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This is excellentI've just found a picture of a penguin that my daughter did
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:40,
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Fucks sakeSorry, I deeply dislike people like that.
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Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:32,
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"I'm REALLY sorry I started this thread! I kind of hoped the responses would be funny, along the lines of 'our crap gifts', maybe cheer me up a little.
To those of you who thought it prudent to give me a hard time - many thanks! You are a BIG help.
(, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:33, Reply)
There you goNext thread - shite presents
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:35,
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hahahait seems her ingratitude is rooted in a deep sense of self-entitlement.
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Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:35,
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I NO RITEIf she chose to have kids then she should expect grief for 18-30 years
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sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:37,
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how do you find these posts?are you a member of mumsnet?
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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:32,
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i might join up too, what's a ds and a dd though?i assume it's like boy and girl or something, but probably not direct debit
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The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:40,
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There is a massive list of acronyms on that site.I think DS = dear son, DD = dear daughter etc.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:41,
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www.mumsnet.com/info/acronyms
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:47,
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That part of mumsnet often makes for hilarious reading when having a sandwich at your desk.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:34,
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THere was an excellent troll post there which went on for a couple of yearsabout a mum asking if it was okay to wank off her son to try and straighten his penis.
(, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:39, Reply)
Yes, because I really want that in my search history.(
Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:45,
Reply)
who wants a......***RELATIONSHIP UPDATE***
Well you're not getting one, I'm not in the mood, and I've got a headache, I'm too tired, I just showered and I've got a gynaecologists appointment tomorrow, yes and a dentists, sorry my wrists hurt, look just fuck off will you.
Start a new thread please!
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Peej, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:38,
Reply)
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