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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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So, today is Coincidence Day. What are the chances of that eh? On today of all days!!!
Tell us about your world of kerazzy coincidences.

Alt: Tell us about something else

Altalt: Don't, then. I don't fucking care.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:01, 225 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
It was an incredible coicidence that YM had an impacted colon the very same night I stayed over after the pub and took a 'wrong turning' on the way to the lavatory in the night.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:02, Reply)
"wrong turning" lols

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:02, Reply)
i don't see how this is better than a morning thread

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:02, Reply)
What a coincidence!
I was just thinking the same thing!!!!
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:04, Reply)
you need to read the secret hidden question underneath dude

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:04, Reply)
sorry, i don't look underneath dudes

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:07, Reply)
then you only have yourself to blame for missing monty's jewels

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:10, Reply)
Some people are their own worst enemies.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:11, Reply)
his loss, pal

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:12, Reply)
are you scottish too?

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:13, Reply)
how very dare you

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:14, Reply)
you ended a sentence with pal, people who end a sentence with pal are usually scottish

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:16, Reply)
9 out of 10 breeders recommend this

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:17, Reply)
i'm gonna have a mug of bovril

(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:39, Reply)
I went to Bradford a few years ago and was walking past the train station when someone walked out right in front of me
It was my mate - who didn't even live in Bradford

Alt:
I have a dishwasher correctly plumbed in now. Back in the 20th century! \o/

AltAlt:
Y SO SAD?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:03, Reply)
I 'plumbed' YM's 'dishwasher' in last night

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:05, Reply)
Very kind of you

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:08, Reply)
I was just going to post this thread

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:05, Reply)
I hate it when I agree with Polly Toynbee
www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/mar/12/mansion-tax-labour-super-rich
(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:06, Reply)
Spoken like a true pleb.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:10, Reply)
You see I like grapes but not these SOUR ONES

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:13, Reply)
You communists are all the same.
I am so incensed by this I might sack my cleaner.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:14, Reply)
Typical Grauniad politics of envy
though the council tax revaluation is long overdue.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:16, Reply)
The politics of envy is a most retarded phrase used in politics I think.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:18, Reply)
Well, I just got emailed by somebody who said "I feel like you judged me for being stupid"
AND I TOTALLY HAD! How about that?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:11, Reply)
judging people is fun

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:12, Reply)
I was just thinking "We need a new, really bent, thread"

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:13, Reply)
and up you popped!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:18, Reply)
like a hamster up a chutney passage

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:25, Reply)
intentional and unintentional irony here i see

(I helped save b3ta! rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:26, Reply)
I'm a master of the genre.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:30, Reply)

nre rbil
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:32, Reply)
hahahaha!

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:37, Reply)
I can handle working with idiots
but I cannot suffer people being rude to me. Rude people really make me mad.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:29, Reply)
People are often rude to me because they equate "IT" with "servant".
They're often quite surprised when I'm rude back or if I tell them I won't put up with their attitude and hang up.

Idiots really frustrate me, though.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:31, Reply)
What do you make of this?
www.list.co.uk/article/49519-corrie-star-bill-roache-to-talk-to-dogs-with-psychic/
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:40, Reply)
He is a senior druid.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:42, Reply)
Woah, Senior?
Right, I'm not touching this with a barge pole...those senior guys can fuck you up.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:45, Reply)
You are right to have this attitude.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:47, Reply)
Check out their "5 beard trends of 2012"
I was not trendy in 2012, it turns out.
(I helped save b3ta! The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:53, Reply)
I don't think I've ever been trendy
Beard or not
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:53, Reply)
I think charlatanism should be punishable by firing squad.
As should being stupid enough to be taken in by one.

As should glorifying the whole sorry spectacle on television.

So the psychic, the actor, the crew of This Morning and the everybody at ITV that allowed it to happen. I'll throw in the dogs too, as they should have bitten everyone involved.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:43, Reply)
It staggers me that people still believe in this rot
But there we are. Each to his own.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:45, Reply)
Firing squad.
It's euthanasia, really.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:46, Reply)
It's the kindest thing really

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:47, Reply)
*keith lard lols*
Alright, Dogtanian?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:46, Reply)
One spark, and WOOF! It'll go up.

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:47, Reply)
laff or burrn.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:51, Reply)
Burn that mother down
Another child orphaned
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:53, Reply)

equate "IT" with "servant" they hate the French, and rightly so
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:42, Reply)
I blame Britain going decimal, I don't know about you

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:46, Reply)
I blame The Windrush.
It was a 'dark' day when that fucker docked KNOWORRAMEAN?
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:50, Reply)
They should all go black home.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:52, Reply)
Oof!

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:52, Reply)
This is a wonderful thread
(!)
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:52, Reply)
Wee marn!
How're tricks?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:52, Reply)
Alright Lurch?
Just had the first of 4 very boring presentations over the next couple of days.

Yourself?
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:54, Reply)
Not bad. Today is a bit slow.
Got a better bonus than I thought I would. Chompy and the other communists will be pleased to get their grubby tax mittens on that.

Got dinner at Bentley's Oyster Bar & Grill the neet.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:57, Reply)
I've heard Bentley's is good. Never been.
I hope your brucie was sufficient to keep you in the one percent club.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:02, Reply)
How dare you?
I'm a socialist. Prick.

Well, sort of. Not a very good one. Frankly I find all those workers' rights marching proper tedious and think striking's for cunts and so on.

Really more of a capitalist with a conscience. I don't have much of one of those, either.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:08, Reply)
I would be. Lend me a grand!

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:13, Reply)
I was just thinking the same
I'd like to claim that's a coincidence, but in fact it's a lie.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:53, Reply)
Yeah someone should start one about salted peanuts eh?
That'd be well lol (!)
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:54, Reply)
I may have been slightly inebriated when I posted that.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:55, Reply)
I sincerely hope you have that as an excuse.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:58, Reply)
I don't think I like my new work shirt.
It looks a bit like I'm wearing a French cafe's tablecloth.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:53, Reply)
Made out of French knocking shop curtains?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:54, Reply)
You that sort of gingham pattern?
it's that in blue. it looks like it was made from apron.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)
I can't wear white myself, washes me out

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:55, Reply)
spunkybleachlols

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:56, Reply)
Got to be an improvement on that awful jumper.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:55, Reply)
You're just upset because the young fashionista of the group
was all over it. She was hiding it behind sarcasm, like, but I knew the truth.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:57, Reply)
If I said you had a beautiful jumper would you hold it against me?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:00, Reply)
Any time, baby

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:00, Reply)
Unclewinkylols

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)
JimmyNaillols

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:03, Reply)
In that group you wouldn't need to be particularly young or that dedicated a follower of fashion to be considered 'the young fashionista'

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:11, Reply)
You cheeky cunt.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:22, Reply)
Says the dreadlocked, bearded druid wearing a fucking hempen smock.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:26, Reply)
In other news I've just had chilli cheese fries
\o/
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:57, Reply)
Excellent choice

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:57, Reply)
Fucking damn straight
unfortunately the tip of my tie went in it
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:59, Reply)
At 11am?
Dear God man, you BEAST.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 10:59, Reply)
Fuck the rules
Rebel aint I
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:00, Reply)
The word is 'peasant'

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)
It was rather pleasant

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)
You are revolting.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)
He he
I get this
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:02, Reply)
The defence points to "4 pints of black sloppy shite" mentioned earlier

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:03, Reply)
Could probably add 'obese' to this list.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:02, Reply)
Alright Mr Houmous-for-breakfast MAYBE YOU SHOULD LOOK AT YOUR OWN COLOUR BEFORE CALLING PEOPLE BLACK

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)
Typical wog

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:03, Reply)
I am now waiting for Gonz to appear and detail his own version of this.
Probably a version that is deep fried in crab spunk and requires you to add half a litre of double cream.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:04, Reply)
I went for the medium chilli
They do a very nice fire brand chilli
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:07, Reply)
+ then spend the next 3 days on the kharzi

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:16, Reply)
By sheer coincidence I too had to spend more than £200 and wait over two hours to get to work!
That did happen to you all too, didn't it?
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:04, Reply)
Not at all
I drove in, missed the traffic and parked for free
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:06, Reply)
Thanks for asking though

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:06, Reply)
I did that, too!
What a coincidence!
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:10, Reply)
lols

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:10, Reply)
In that situation i would have just had the day off.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:07, Reply)
I was debating that as I drove in.

(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:08, Reply)
Workshy public sector Bob Crow SCUM

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:10, Reply)
he was on question time.
He's like a lardy ball of cunt ramblings.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:17, Reply)
Nope but it was 'a bit cold' if that makes you feel any better.

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:07, Reply)
Sorry Monts, I should have realised other people have a lot more to deal with.
My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:09, Reply)
What was up with the car?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:09, Reply)
He's been trying to run it on yak yogurt instead of petrol.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:10, Reply)
He tried to make it run on chip fat and blocked up the fuel line.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:11, Reply)
It had haddock enough

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:11, Reply)
For cod's sake. No more of these terrible puns.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:13, Reply)
No plaice for them, eh?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:15, Reply)
You're off the scale

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:16, Reply)
Chicken shit powered cars are all the rage in the green community
The sporty ones are upgraded by Cooper
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:13, Reply)
I think his big hens gone

(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:14, Reply)
Eggstremely difficult to fix, those

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:15, Reply)
It's no yoke.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:20, Reply)
It happened to me once
I was spitting feathers
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:30, Reply)
It needed a new shell and the timing was all to cock.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:36, Reply)
Well let's write this off as a lesson learnt, eh?

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:11, Reply)
I'm being bullied by Qotw Monty.
I'm never going back there again. Horrid horrid bullies.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:16, Reply)
I saw that earlier
I think Jan and Ringo hate you
(I helped save b3ta! hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:19, Reply)
me and Janet were in love once.
Then I called her husband a humourless prick because he Internet hard manned at me.
Since then. Hatred.
(I helped save b3ta! Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:20, Reply)
GAIT, it's GAIT, you useless prick

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:21, Reply)
How DARE you get that wrong whilst living in Oxford?
The DISSONANCE, man, the DISSONANCE
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:23, Reply)

www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-21753860
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:16, Reply)
*looks at surprise-ometer*

*taps screen*



*changes batteries, tutting*
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:17, Reply)
Well I guess it saves on travel costs

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:19, Reply)
Lol.
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1704403--when-receiving-a-CRAP-mothers-day-gift-from-the-husband
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:24, Reply)
Miserable ungrateful bitch.
At least he made the effort.
He won't next year.
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:25, Reply)
this^
Fuck that for a game of cards.
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:26, Reply)
Fucking pussies
Did you get an excellent present for Father's Day?
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:26, Reply)
I did.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:26, Reply)
Which was?

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:28, Reply)
platform shoes

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:30, Reply)
lol 1

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:30, Reply)
Hairy Dieters cook book?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:30, Reply)
lol 2

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:30, Reply)
A photo album full of about 200 pictures of the three of us as a family (in chronological order) starting from the day my daughter was born.
My wife put a massive amount of time in to it.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:30, Reply)
That really is an excellent present

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:31, Reply)
Yes. I doubt I'll get anything like that this year.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:31, Reply)
My two wouldnt even get out of the car to go to the florists
Lazy cunts
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:33, Reply)
I'd have been all "fuck's sake, where's my PS3? What is this shit?"

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:32, Reply)
^non-parent^

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:34, Reply)
Indeed. Long may it continue.

(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:34, Reply)
Sort by date/time
Right click, select all
print
(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:32, Reply)
I think there was a bit more to it than that.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:35, Reply)
She should feel lucky
since she's not his mother, he didn't have to get her anything.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:26, Reply)
Ha ha,
there's one response from a poster saying "I got cold tea in bed from my 8 year old. We don't let her use the kettle"

Sorry love your child is a retard and it's your fault.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:27, Reply)

'DS brought me a cup of tea in bed and the news that the cat had thrown up in the kitchen.'
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:29, Reply)
Mrs Cow got our two going nuts for the entire day, causing her to burst into tears

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:29, Reply)
Brilliant.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:31, Reply)
Its the thought that counts

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:32, Reply)
I think that's rather sweet.
My kid gave me a picture of a load of animals, and I think she got Gonz to do the captions as apparently there is an 'african giroff', a 'pone', a 'woross', a 'whayol' and 'kung fu panda' on it.
(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:37, Reply)
This is excellent
I've just found a picture of a penguin that my daughter did
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:40, Reply)
King - geeee!
It's the hairy dieting wot ahhhh luv!
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:29, Reply)
Dood!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:33, Reply)
Fucks sake
Sorry, I deeply dislike people like that.
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:32, Reply)

"I'm REALLY sorry I started this thread! I kind of hoped the responses would be funny, along the lines of 'our crap gifts', maybe cheer me up a little.

To those of you who thought it prudent to give me a hard time - many thanks! You are a BIG help.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:33, Reply)
There you go
Next thread - shite presents
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:35, Reply)
Well she was way off the mark there, then

(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:35, Reply)
hahaha
it seems her ingratitude is rooted in a deep sense of self-entitlement.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:35, Reply)
I NO RITE
If she chose to have kids then she should expect grief for 18-30 years
(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:37, Reply)
They should joing b3ta.
And go to KFC.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:38, Reply)
how do you find these posts?
are you a member of mumsnet?
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:32, Reply)
I might join.
It'd make the day fly by.
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:33, Reply)
i might join up too, what's a ds and a dd though?
i assume it's like boy and girl or something, but probably not direct debit
(I helped save b3ta! The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:40, Reply)
There is a massive list of acronyms on that site.
I think DS = dear son, DD = dear daughter etc.
(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:41, Reply)

www.mumsnet.com/info/acronyms
(I helped save b3ta! tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:47, Reply)
Something son and daughter?
Dickhead?
(I helped save b3ta! Kroney, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:41, Reply)
That part of mumsnet often makes for hilarious reading when having a sandwich at your desk.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:34, Reply)
wank at your desk more like

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:36, Reply)
under

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:36, Reply)

n d
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:40, Reply)
*waggles eyebrows*

(I helped save b3ta! sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:40, Reply)
THere was an excellent troll post there which went on for a couple of years
about a mum asking if it was okay to wank off her son to try and straighten his penis.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:39, Reply)
Link?

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:40, Reply)
No
find it yourself. Google, "mum wanking off son"
(Bazongaloid, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:42, Reply)
Yes, because I really want that in my search history.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:45, Reply)
Oh god
I'd love to read that
(I helped save b3ta! Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:42, Reply)
Fucking hell

(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:42, Reply)
who wants a......
***RELATIONSHIP UPDATE***

Well you're not getting one, I'm not in the mood, and I've got a headache, I'm too tired, I just showered and I've got a gynaecologists appointment tomorrow, yes and a dentists, sorry my wrists hurt, look just fuck off will you.

Start a new thread please!
(I helped save b3ta! Peej, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:38, Reply)
I have started a new thread.

(I helped save b3ta! Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:38, Reply)
Peanuts ahoy!

(I helped save b3ta! Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 12 Mar 2013, 11:41, Reply)

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