Your words have cut me to the bone Foxtrot.
I may have to have a little cry.

When did you last cry? Why?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:35, 150 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I cried salty tears all over YM

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:37, Reply)

*gangbang fives*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:37, Reply)

*more like dozens*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:38, Reply)

Heeeyyyy sexxxxyyyy ladieessss whoop whoop whoop

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:40, Reply)

oopa!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:41, Reply)

I cried with tears of frustration as we fell one short of a world record gangbang with your mum

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:37, Reply)

Shut up Nakers.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:37, Reply)

Nakers couldn't get it up

( Peej, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:38, Reply)

You've replaced Al as the board cunt, how do you feel?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:42, Reply)

Sad for Al.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:44, Reply)

Did anyone even VOTE for B3th?

( Peej, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:38, Reply)

I heard she cooked a steak for Rob.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:38, Reply)

How rare

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:43, Reply)

Honest answer
I can't remember
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:38, Reply)

Last time YM neglected to take her teeth out.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:38, Reply)

I last cried when bambi's mum got shot

( Peej, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:39, Reply)

I'm glad you have a heart.

(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:41, Reply)

Unlike Bambi's mam

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:42, Reply)

I haven't cried properly, like big weepy tears since I got dumped last
So that's what, eight years now.

BUT a solitary tear or maybe two MAY have ON OCCASION run a little track down my face when watching emotional telly or a film or something. I'm an emotional man, I make no qualms about it.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:39, Reply)

Tell us the whole sorry tale.
Then we can all lol at it and keep it on the popular page, like when Winders opened his heart to us.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:41, Reply)

It's nothing special
I was just shit and lazy and probably a bit LOLMENTAL for a while and so she dumped me and I had to move out of our flat and since I didn't have a job I had to move back in with me parents for a few months.

Just took it a bit badly y'know.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:42, Reply)

That's not very funny.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:45, Reply)

We need to up the comedy quotient somehow.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:47, Reply)

He was dressed as a clown.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:48, Reply)

Actually when I was dumped I was in bed
My clown costume was hung up by the door
( Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:49, Reply)

Yeah I told you, it's not a great story
'I got dumped cos I was shit and she was right to do it' isn't the kind of story I bring out for hearty yucks
( Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:49, Reply)

I cried when Dr Green died in ER
I'm not* ashamed to admit it


* I am ashamed
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:41, Reply)

I tend to shed a MANLY TEAR when people do good in films and triumph and that
MAY have been slightly choken up at climactic bit of Wreck It Ralph. MAY. Shut up. SHUT UP ALL OF YOU.
( Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:43, Reply)

I was stuck in a hotel in Windsor, of all places

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:44, Reply)

It's ok sportscow don't worry about it
I SAID IT'S OK SPORTSCOW
YOU ARE RAD
YOU ARE A RAD LITTLE DUDE
( Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:45, Reply)

\o/

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:46, Reply)

I haven't seen that movie yet.
People keep saying to though.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:55, Reply)

Only saw it on Sunday from the Naughty Internet
It was good and I enjoyed it
( Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:58, Reply)

we should totally all get together and watch marley and me

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:58, Reply)

I've never seen Marley and Me
I hear it makes wrecks of people
( Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:58, Reply)

Hello my name is Dr. Green-thumb

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:43, Reply)

?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:44, Reply)

I'd like to tell you just where I'm from

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:45, Reply)

I got nothing

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:46, Reply)

where are Monty and Dozer whn i need them
www.youtube.com/watch?v=xExSdzkZZB0
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:47, Reply)

I have genuinely never heard that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:49, Reply)

square

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:49, Reply)

Sportscow Squarepants

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:51, Reply)

You've got me onto Cypress Hill and RATM now though!
I love that song
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:59, Reply)

People needing Monty or Dozer?
No, me neither.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:52, Reply)

look at what you're missing out on over on /talk
b3ta.com/talk/7636485
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:40, Reply)

It is the best thing I've read today.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:41, Reply)

Its not bad

( Peej, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:42, Reply)

I don't really understand the point of it, to be honest.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:46, Reply)

There's a bunch of things like that going around merkins
where the LIBERAL professor has been challenged by an unanswerable question from a Christian and then GOD BLESSES AMERICA
(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:47, Reply)

I saw one that was anti communist.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:48, Reply)

it's LOLsatire I think

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:52, Reply)

TAKE THAT RIGHT-WING AMERICA!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:53, Reply)

It's better over here
and over here is shit. you lot ought to be ashamed of yourselves.
( Kroney, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:46, Reply)

erm.. I don't remember.
probably in february. After my birthday.
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:41, Reply)

Www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1879660#post1879668
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:42, Reply)

This makes me do a lol every time I read it

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:43, Reply)

agreed

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:44, Reply)

Agreeing with the agree

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:50, Reply)

I must force you to drink for me sometime, for my amusement

( Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:44, Reply)

He could rent himself out for lols

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:45, Reply)

Like a children's entertainer but for bored millionaires
DANCE FOR ME DRUNKARD
CRY AT YOUR SHOES
WIPE YOUR HAIR IN PUKE
( Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:51, Reply)

lols for "cry at your shoes"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:56, Reply)

it'd be an honour to drink at your side.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:46, Reply)

*salutes*
That's textbook, Winders.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:46, Reply)

I tell you what badger,
I'm quite proud of it.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:47, Reply)

That's the third best piece of drink-fuel shenanigans I'm aware of
after my mate sleep-pissing in his girlfriend's handbag, and the "gush jacket incident"

You are right to be proud.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:49, Reply)

Gush jacket?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:50, Reply)

It's (well, was) a cheap red cagoul, supposed to shame the wearer.
tl/dr - On my stag do for my first wedding we were in Prague, about 2000 or so. We were staying in these penthouse apartments with massive sloping velux windows, it was hot and they were usually slightly open. After about 24 hours solid drink abuse we got back from a club with a load of ladies in tow. My friend proceeds to get horizonal with a (frankly fucking stunning) Norwegian girl in his room. My best man takes massive offence at this in a way that can only occur after about a pint of absinth and comes into my room, strips naked, grabs the Gush Jacket and climbs onto the roof. He then shimmies over to the velux in Darren's room, leans on it until it swings open, and right at the end of the travel he somersaults off the end to land at the foot of the bed, legs spread, jacket open, everything on display, with a bellow of "WHO'S YOUR DADDY?"

It still makes me cry with laughter thinking about it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:57, Reply)

Superb.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:59, Reply)

hahahaha

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:59, Reply)

Excellent

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:02, Reply)

Mate of mine who was once in the Navy (calm down, no bumming abounds)
tried to get back on board after an evening drinking the port dry. Duty officer told him he wasn't getting past him carrying those two bottles of wine, but "If I turn around and hear a couple of splashes, then we'll overlook your present condition".

He turns around, my mate grumbles a lot but then two splashes are heard. Duty officer turns back around, my mate stands there still holding two bottles of wine, and wearing no shoes.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:55, Reply)

office lols
What was his reasoning?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:56, Reply)

haha, that's classic

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:58, Reply)

haha!
drunk logic is ace
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:02, Reply)

that's excellent

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:23, Reply)

you missed an opportunity to lambast battered for using Scwhwepps tonic earlier

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:49, Reply)

The fucking cunt! I'll cut him
Unless it's Schweppes off of the Continent, that's OK.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:51, Reply)

It was probably Slimline and all.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:53, Reply)

KKAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNTTTTTTT

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:54, Reply)

i recommended some fever tree

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:53, Reply)

Fever tree for special occasions or really good gin.
Otherwise Waitrose own brand is fine.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:59, Reply)

Wasn't me, that was Bartleby.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:53, Reply)

was it?
I think i need my eyes testing
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:53, Reply)

It wasn't me.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:54, Reply)

Shaggylolz

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:54, Reply)

You sex pests all look the same.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:54, Reply)

I cry exactly as often as you'd imagine I would
It's pathetic
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:49, Reply)

Milk gone off? Yup
Can't find keys? Tears
Leccy bill higher than normal? Bawling
Sky box needs resetting? Utter wreck
( Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:53, Reply)

I bet he makes B3th on the blob look emotionally stable and reasonable

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:54, Reply)

Alright maybe not THAT often
but it doesn't take much
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:56, Reply)

Sorry did me saying you cry a lot make you a bit upset?
Go on, let it out
( Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:56, Reply)

You HORRID MAN
*Justin Timerlakes*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:57, Reply)

I'm posting this again because it's been making me happy.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=IX36qKJFB6U&feature=youtube_gdata_player
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:51, Reply)

I never cry because I am Man.

( Kroney, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:52, Reply)

No, it's because the constant smell of onions has rendered your tear glands useless.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:57, Reply)

hahahahahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:01, Reply)

Yesterday.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:55, Reply)

Why?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:55, Reply)

Someone called him a turquoise sasquatch Brittas prick

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:57, Reply)

It may have been me

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:57, Reply)

he got his eyebrow piecing snagged on a passing bus

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:58, Reply)

A car 300 yards away ran over his toe

( Kroney, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:02, Reply)

His favourite clown supplies shoeshop went bust
so now he's forced to go to Black's camping shop to get two cornflower blue kayaks to use instead.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:00, Reply)

Poppet stood on his toe.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:01, Reply)

11/10

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:01, Reply)

ok this wins

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:03, Reply)

In genuine tears officelolling now. ..
click, click, clickkkkkkk
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:04, Reply)

This is excellent.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 15:23, Reply)

Somebody said purple ties with pink flowers on were bent

( Kroney, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:02, Reply)

friend's funeral.
How Great Thou Art.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:07, Reply)

b3th will be pissed off when she wakes up in 5 hours.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:56, Reply)

I cried out of sheer impotent rage and frustration when I was denied access to my child.
It's the last refuge of the utterly helpless. And queers.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:56, Reply)

Did you go to the top of a building and fall to your knees and shout NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO so loud it startled some pigeons?
If not, do that
( Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:56, Reply)

I wish I had thought to do that.
Next time yeah?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:57, Reply)

Next time? Someone's optimistic

( Theoban What of it, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:59, Reply)

I was denied access to my child my lady-dad got PVC windows.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 11:57, Reply)

Gay

( Kroney, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:03, Reply)

O.. N..
N..man C..lli.. h.. died
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:00, Reply)

This didn't work in text as well as I hoped it would.
Soz everyone.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:00, Reply)

I get this

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:00, Reply)

i do not

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:05, Reply)

Norman Collier

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:06, Reply)

*Googles*
I don't get it
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:08, Reply)

*sighs*
One of the main parts of his act was to miss out parts of words like a bad telephone connection
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:09, Reply)

That was his entire act, wasn't it?
It was hilarious.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:11, Reply)

Yeah i got that, but why is he being mentioned now?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:13, Reply)

www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-21798955
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:13, Reply)

i see
I assumed he'd been dead for ages
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:15, Reply)

assumed he'd been dead for ages really need things spelled out explicitly for me.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:16, Reply)

That's quite clever for a vegetarian.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:04, Reply)

I don't get it
which I suppose sort of underlines your point
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:06, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hh0Y_OeRP-Y

DEAD
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:08, Reply)

Ha ha .

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:04, Reply)

I hought i had something in my eyebrow
but it turned out two extra long hairs had tied themselves in a knot; does anyone else get sporadic extra long eybrow hairs?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:07, Reply)

Like this?


No
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:09, Reply)

ha ha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:09, Reply)

I was looking for a chinese bloke type pic and found that

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:10, Reply)

i don't, no.
It's probably a bent spastic thing.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:09, Reply)

I thought it was more of an old man thing
gramps used to get his eyebrows and ear hairs trimmed at the barbours
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:12, Reply)

trimm wax
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:14, Reply)

LOL
You can take the Fogle out of the countryside clothing shop but you etc
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:17, Reply)

Nope, just the occasional freak nostril hairs.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:10, Reply)

I'M SEEING THEM AT INFEST!!!!!!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:16, Reply)

Hahahha
Lobby lol
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Mar 2013, 12:17, Reply)