How good is your English?
Try this quiz to find out...

No, I'm not telling you what I scored.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:15, 71 replies, latest was 2 years ago)

I scored
19/20.

And only because I hand-spacked and hit the wrong answer despite knowing the correct one.
( Kroney, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:20, Reply)

19/20
Accommodation, you were my downfall.
( Thinker, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:21, Reply)

18/20
Bit like Al: only slightly spakky.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:23, Reply)

17/20
Which suprised the hell out of me considering the stick I get on here for my bad grammar.
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:28, Reply)

Hello Al!
Yes, I'm so happy I can come now as well. I'm a bit apprehensive of meeting everyone in the flesh though (what if you don't like me, and kill me in the face till I'm dead for disappointing you?), so please be gentle!
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:31, Reply)

18/20
For not knowing the difference between Similie and Metaphor :(

Wiki here I come!!!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:35, Reply)

20/20
Piece of piss.

*swaggers out*

*gets inflated head stuck in doorway*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:35, Reply)

18/20
Not disasterous
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:38, Reply)

Damn you, al
Now I've got that image in my head.

And I would have got a good view too - as I'd be the one playing the piano.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:40, Reply)

@Al
Hmmmm. Black cocktail dress: check. I'll even wear some sexy shoes (as opposed to the Iron Maiden ones I'm wearing at the moment).

Cigarette through holder: due to smoking ban, might be tricky.

Sitting on grand piano: as far as I'm aware, there isn't one in The Cardinal (which is where I think we're going to go). Again, could be tricky.

Singing "All That Jazz": I don't know the words, and I'm not a fan of Chicago anyway, so you might have to make do with "Summertime" or something classical ("Ich Liebe Dich, or something by Purcell) instead. In a jazz voice though (damn throat infection means that singing anything in a clear classical tone is impossible at the moment anyway).
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:42, Reply)

I did this via /links yesterday.
I was doing the quiz while arranging car insurance on the phone. That explains my low mark - 20/20.

HA!
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:47, Reply)

"Summertime"
would be better, as I could make a better job of playing it.

Not that I'm going to be there anyway...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:48, Reply)

@al
I saw them at Download last year. I'm not a huge fan of stadium gigs really, prefer the smaller venue.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 11:54, Reply)

^^
Top day that was.
I was hammered by the time Mastodon came on.

Enjoy the wedding though, I've got my birthday piss up tomorrow. Woo!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 12:04, Reply)

*flounces in*
full marks, thank you.


edit @ al - I LOVE singing All That Jazz. Especially in the car on the way home. Phwoar.

*sings*
Come on babe, why don't we paint the town?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 12:08, Reply)

.
*cries*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 12:12, Reply)

better than the bbc's
as i got 20/20.

however.

the words "maths test next week" give me teh fear.

fucking numbers...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 12:17, Reply)

*consoles HLT*
Better?

@rachelswipe - I'd like to think I'd do well in the maths test too.

However, when it comes to the 'popular culture' quiz, I'm done for.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 12:22, Reply)

Maths test...
I look forward to this.

Didn't the BBC do something a lot like this sometime last year, with short Geography and History tests too?

Or am I imagining this memory?
( Thinker, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 12:22, Reply)

15/20
Well, I am the one with the spacky username.

Mmmm... Is that chips I smell? No, even better, it's cake.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 12:25, Reply)

Ditto Misterspakkaman
*Hangs head in shame*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 4 Jul 2008, 12:26, Reply)

thanks Mr k, I feel better now
*pokes tongue out at al*

*steals his cake*

i'm sure I'll get No Marks At All in the maths one.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 12:27, Reply)

Damn you accommodation!!!
A feeble 19/20

Feel free to lob stale cakes.


[opens mouth in anticipation]
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 12:27, Reply)

Roll on maths one!

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 12:34, Reply)

...
19 out of 20...







Maths test? I'm, uh, busy next week.
( Moey, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 12:36, Reply)

20/20
witch is 93%. Can't weight for the mathes one.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 12:48, Reply)

Maths next week
Hate to break it to y'all, but look at the date at the top of the page. Maths is not next week. It was almost three years ago - which means it's on there now.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 12:57, Reply)

Hey! that's cool.
Some people did worse than me *laughs* I was expecting to be the lowest.

Maths tests however will be my undoing.

*gloats*
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:00, Reply)

Ah, Enzyme,
you're quite right.
( Thinker, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:01, Reply)

Maths quiz
Is here
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:03, Reply)

PJM
That is great!

Office LOLs aplenty.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:05, Reply)

I read the first question and then got a headache.
I think I'll give this one a miss due to the fact that I do not wish to make a complete fool of myself. I can do that much better in other ways.

Oh! it's a joke.

*looks foolish*
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:08, Reply)

surely
you can use a cunting calculator on these ffs!
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:08, Reply)

My day job requires both algebra and ratios...
So why did I give up at 12 correct when I reached question 16?

GCSE standard maths... I'm so ashamed. Still, statistically speaking it's much better than my English skills though.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:14, Reply)

@ PJM
I read and re-read the first question before it dawned on me...

Then I looked at the rest of the questions...

Nice.

I started the other quiz and gave up rather quickly as there were too many facts to hold in my head without using a pen and paper...and if I write it down it's no longer quick fun.

I do like maths though...well, the simple stuff.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:16, Reply)

And that's why you like me!

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:17, Reply)

Are there no tests where you have to draw a picture.
I'm good at that.
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:19, Reply)

There are quite a few, I did remember right.
The rest:

Dickens: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4399744.stm
French: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4338028.stm
Physics: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4308292.stm
History: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4378648.stm
Geography: news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/4356840.stm
Final: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4528148.stm
( Thinker, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:21, Reply)

@ PJM
Yes, I'm a woman of simple tastes....that much is very clear :P
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:23, Reply)

19/20 on the maths test
I'm a nerd.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:29, Reply)

Maths
17 out of 20.

(edits)

Nice One Le Penseur, my lunchtime is going to be spent geeking out...

Gauntlets thrown ladies and gentlemen!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:29, Reply)

fucking woo!
20/20 on both! I am a smart cookie smug bitch.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:34, Reply)

Coffee Culture
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/6317121.stm

6/7!

Oh yes,I know my coffee!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:38, Reply)

Physics
8 out of ten... I farked up the Ampage on the last question and am too embarrassed to divulge the other wrong answer.

[edit, CHCB is a girly swot]
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:41, Reply)

Bollocks
Only 19/20 on the maths test. Got the sample size one wrong because of a silly error.

Took a while though. I'm out of practice doing sums with a pen and paper.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:44, Reply)

maths...
9/20

*stupids*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:44, Reply)

History
10/12

I blame my comprehensive school education for not knowing who dissolved the monasteries and also for not knowing in which city Rosa Parks organised her boycott.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:47, Reply)

Final Test:
10/15

And one of those was just a lucky guess.

That's.. quite embarrassing.
( Thinker, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:47, Reply)

physics
7/10

*faints*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:51, Reply)

History 8/12
And I'm reading a bloody history book at the moment as well, albiet a humerous concise history.

Edit - my excuse it that I've been out of the education system longer than the lot of you.

*Blows raspberry*
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:52, Reply)

Remember...
All these tests do is prove whether or not you're good at these tests.

I have three degrees (they sing! Ha!) and one of them is history...but I still cocked up the history quiz...serves me right for not bothering to read the questions properly.


*reminds self of this to make up for appalling scores on ALL of them!*

*damn my impetuous nature and trigger-happy clicky finger!*
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:54, Reply)

Maths
11/20

Bollocks!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:54, Reply)

Final scores
English 20/20
Maths 19/20
Physics 9/10 (bugger - got the smoke detector one wrong)
History 7/12 (didn't do history O Grade)
Geography 12/14
Final 9/15

Total marks 76/91, or 84%.

I'm expecting Enzyme to get 100%
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:56, Reply)

Dickens
8/12
Not bad considering I've never read any Dickens at all.

Yes, that *is* rather shocking.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:58, Reply)

I did really well....
Bah.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 4 Jul 2008, 13:59, Reply)

Hhm
9/12 History
8/12 Dickens
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 14:02, Reply)

Maths
42 out 12
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 14:26, Reply)

Where is
the Dickens one?

Just so I can do really badly at something and you can all laugh at me. My knowledge of Dickens has been gained solely through the medium of puppetry.

_{in the form of the Muppets' Christmas Carol.}
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 14:52, Reply)

@k2k6
I just misread your post as "Where the dickens is one?" and for a moment thought you were being terribly posh and bothered.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 14:53, Reply)

Tally Ho, HLT
Jolly spiffing, what, this Muppetry thing.

There goes Mr Humbug
There goes Mister Grim
If they gave a prize for being mean
The winner would be him

*guffaws*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 14:57, Reply)

@K
Dickens: news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/4399744.stm

That was the link I used.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 15:13, Reply)

What the Dickens?
Only 6/12 for the literary one.

Which brings my total to 82/103. Only 80% now.

Humbug!

*sings*

"No crust of bread for those in need
No cheeses for us meeces"
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 15:18, Reply)

@k2k6
hahahahahaha!

you made me laff!

edit: and i beat you by 1 point on the dickens quiz.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 15:19, Reply)

Just done some of the older quizzes
I got my highest score on the Etiquette quiz. Hurrah for boarding school. Obviously it taught me useful life skills after all.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 15:30, Reply)

I was lucky
to get as much as 6/12 actually. Had I been on Millionaire I'd have been reluctant to gamble on any of them. I had inklings about two or three answers; the rest were just guesses.

I keep humming that song from the Muppets film now. And I'm imagining the vegetables singing their line and everything.

Edit - 6/10 on etiquette. I don't go to a lot of formal dinners...
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 15:30, Reply)

19/20
Messed up on the long-lost question. Well, they were on different rows!

:)

Not even trying the maths, I already know I'm bad at it!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 16:16, Reply)

5/10 for etiquette.
Which means I wasn't dragged up but it's best I don't accept any invitations from the Queen.
( girlinthehole, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 19:15, Reply)

Bah
16/20

*mongs*

In my defence, I have been drinking. :/
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Fri 4 Jul 2008, 21:17, Reply)

not too spazzy
with 17/20.
(hutchers, Mon 7 Jul 2008, 22:03, Reply)

͓͖̣̋́͋̊̄ͫ̓ȅ͔̲̤͇͈͎̞͉̣̫̟͈̻̯̹̞̭̤͍̯͔̙̳̤ͬ̌͌̽̓ͯ͂̈ͩ͊͆̐͐̌͋ͫ̂ͨͮ̓͑ͥ̈́ͪͥ̈̽̿ͪͬ̚ͅ&853;͓͉̣͕̪̫̩̱̼̻͚̲̜̼̰̞͉̺͖̺͇̭̺̰̫̬̟͎̬̳̤̱̘͉̥͖̣̠̻̝̲̝͕̺̦̱̙̺̦̾̓̍̃̃̒̾̋̔ͬ̄̊ͮ͛ͭ̈́ͤ̏ͣ̎̉̌ͥ̂̇ͬ̅̓ͦ̉̿̌̃ͨ̒͋ͨ͒͑̄̓̐̚̚ͅͅị̥̩̻͎̳̳̯̮̥ͬ.̜̼̗̯̞͓͖̣ͣ͒̋́͋̊̄ͫ̓ͅȅ͔̲̤͇͈͎̞͉̣̫̟͈̻̯̹̞̭̤͍̯͔̙̳̤ͬ̌͌̽̓ͯ͂̈ͩ͊͆̐͐̌͋ͫ̂ͨͮ̓͑ͥ̈́ͪͥ̈̽̿ͪͬ̚ͅ&853;͓͉̣͕̪̫̩̱̼̻͚̲̜̼̰̞͉̺͖̺͇̭̺̰̫̬̟͎̬̳̤̱̘͉̥͖̣̠̻̝̲̝͕̺̦̱̙̺̦̾̓̍̃̃̒̾̋̔ͬ̄̊ͮ͛ͭ̈́ͤ̏ͣ̎̉̌ͥ̂̇ͬ̅̓ͦ̉̿̌̃ͨ̒͋ͨ͒͑̄̓̐̚̚ͅͅị̥̩̻͎̳̳̯̮̥ͬ.̜̼̗̯̞͓͖̣ͣ͒̋́͋̊̄ͫ̓ͅȅ͔̲̤͇͈͎̞͉̣̫̟͈̻̯̹̞̭̤͍̯͔̙̳̤ͬ̌͌̽̓ͯ͂̈ͩ͊͆̐͐̌͋ͫ̂ͨͮ̓͑ͥ̈́ͪͥ̈̽̿ͪͬ̚ͅ&853;͓͉̣͕̪̫̩̱̼̻͚̲̜̼̰̞͉̺͖̺͇̭̺̰̫̬̟͎̬̳̤̱̘͉̥͖̣̠̻̝̲̝͕̺̦̱̙̺̦̾̓̍̃̃̒̾̋̔ͬ̄̊ͮ͛ͭ̈́ͤ̏ͣ̎̉̌ͥ̂̇ͬ̅̓ͦ̉̿̌̃ͨ̒͋ͨ͒͑̄̓̐̚̚ͅͅị̥̩̻͎̳̳̯̮̥ͬ.̜̼̗̯̞͓͖̣ͣ͒̋́͋̊̄ͫ̓ͅȅ͔̲̤͇͈͎̞͉̣̫̟͈̻̯̹̞̭̤͍̯͔̙̳̤ͬ̌͌̽̓ͯ͂̈ͩ͊͆̐͐̌͋ͫ̂ͨͮ̓͑ͥ̈́ͪͥ̈̽̿ͪͬ̚ͅ&853;͓͉̣͕̪̫̩̱̼̻͚̲̜̼̰̞͉̺͖̺͇̭̺̰̫̬̟͎̬̳̤̱̘͉̥͖̣̠̻̝̲̝͕̺̦̱̙̺̦̾̓̍̃̃̒̾̋̔ͬ̄̊ͮ͛ͭ̈́ͤ̏ͣ̎̉̌ͥ̂̇ͬ̅̓ͦ̉̿̌̃ͨ̒͋ͨ͒͑̄̓̐̚̚ͅͅị̥̩̻͎̳̳̯̮̥ͬ.̜̼̗̯̞ͣ͒ͅ
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 9 Jul 2018, 12:33, Reply)

͓͖̣̋́͋̊̄ͫ̓ȅ͔̲̤͇͈͎̞͉̣̫̟͈̻̯̹̞̭̤͍̯͔̙̳̤ͬ̌͌̽̓ͯ͂̈ͩ͊͆̐͐̌͋ͫ̂ͨͮ̓͑ͥ̈́ͪͥ̈̽̿ͪͬ̚ͅ&853;͓͉̣͕̪̫̩̱̼̻͚̲̜̼̰̞͉̺͖̺͇̭̺̰̫̬̟͎̬̳̤̱̘͉̥͖̣̠̻̝̲̝͕̺̦̱̙̺̦̾̓̍̃̃̒̾̋̔ͬ̄̊ͮ͛ͭ̈́ͤ̏ͣ̎̉̌ͥ̂̇ͬ̅̓ͦ̉̿̌̃ͨ̒͋ͨ͒͑̄̓̐̚̚ͅͅị̥̩̻͎̳̳̯̮̥ͬ.̜̼̗̯̞͓͖̣ͣ͒̋́͋̊̄ͫ̓ͅȅ͔̲̤͇͈͎̞͉̣̫̟͈̻̯̹̞̭̤͍̯͔̙̳̤ͬ̌͌̽̓ͯ͂̈ͩ͊͆̐͐̌͋ͫ̂ͨͮ̓͑ͥ̈́ͪͥ̈̽̿ͪͬ̚ͅ&853;͓͉̣͕̪̫̩̱̼̻͚̲̜̼̰̞͉̺͖̺͇̭̺̰̫̬̟͎̬̳̤̱̘͉̥͖̣̠̻̝̲̝͕̺̦̱̙̺̦̾̓̍̃̃̒̾̋̔ͬ̄̊ͮ͛ͭ̈́ͤ̏ͣ̎̉̌ͥ̂̇ͬ̅̓ͦ̉̿̌̃ͨ̒͋ͨ͒͑̄̓̐̚̚ͅͅị̥̩̻͎̳̳̯̮̥ͬ.̜̼̗̯̞͓͖̣ͣ͒̋́͋̊̄ͫ̓ͅȅ͔̲̤͇͈͎̞͉̣̫̟͈̻̯̹̞̭̤͍̯͔̙̳̤ͬ̌͌̽̓ͯ͂̈ͩ͊͆̐͐̌͋ͫ̂ͨͮ̓͑ͥ̈́ͪͥ̈̽̿ͪͬ̚ͅ&853;͓͉̣͕̪̫̩̱̼̻͚̲̜̼̰̞͉̺͖̺͇̭̺̰̫̬̟͎̬̳̤̱̘͉̥͖̣̠̻̝̲̝͕̺̦̱̙̺̦̾̓̍̃̃̒̾̋̔ͬ̄̊ͮ͛ͭ̈́ͤ̏ͣ̎̉̌ͥ̂̇ͬ̅̓ͦ̉̿̌̃ͨ̒͋ͨ͒͑̄̓̐̚̚ͅͅị̥̩̻͎̳̳̯̮̥ͬ.̜̼̗̯̞͓͖̣ͣ͒̋́͋̊̄ͫ̓ͅȅ͔̲̤͇͈͎̞͉̣̫̟͈̻̯̹̞̭̤͍̯͔̙̳̤ͬ̌͌̽̓ͯ͂̈ͩ͊͆̐͐̌͋ͫ̂ͨͮ̓͑ͥ̈́ͪͥ̈̽̿ͪͬ̚ͅ&853;͓͉̣͕̪̫̩̱̼̻͚̲̜̼̰̞͉̺͖̺͇̭̺̰̫̬̟͎̬̳̤̱̘͉̥͖̣̠̻̝̲̝͕̺̦̱̙̺̦̾̓̍̃̃̒̾̋̔ͬ̄̊ͮ͛ͭ̈́ͤ̏ͣ̎̉̌ͥ̂̇ͬ̅̓ͦ̉̿̌̃ͨ̒͋ͨ͒͑̄̓̐̚̚ͅͅị̥̩̻͎̳̳̯̮̥ͬ.̜̼̗̯̞ͣ͒ͅ
( Turtle Power & Knuckles, Fri 11 Nov 2022, 20:47, Reply)