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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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B3th would you mod this post please?
EDIT

Alt: why are lawyers so fucking annoying?
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:45, 123 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Is it "tired overdone joke masquerading as a thread" day?
You won't top Monty's effort below.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:48, Reply)
Yeah you in no way provoked that bit of light-hearted ribbing did you, Rhinestone Cowboy?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:49, Reply)
If I stood the edge of a cliff waving a red cape would you charge?
You've got less original material than Boyzone
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:51, Reply)
Oh come on.
You posted that knowing precisely what would happen. Don't feign outrage after the fact.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:55, Reply)
She was asking for it, dressed like that.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:59, Reply)
What happened?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:11, Reply)
Not feigning anything darling
I'm just surprised you're not as bored as the rest of us by it
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:41, Reply)
oh christ not again
are you actively trying to get rid of the last few people who do post on here, eh??
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:49, Reply)
No, I wanted to start a new thread as I was bored of the festival chat. I needed to ask a question & couldn't think of one.
Believe it or not, I actually don't want this place to die on it's arse.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:51, Reply)
well add a decent alt, quickly
you can still save it
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:53, Reply)
Done.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:56, Reply)
excellent

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:59, Reply)
DO NOT CLICK THIS LINK IT IS HIGHLY OFFENSIVE AND NOT SAFE FOR WORK
kineticnorth.com/userfiles/Gilgamesh/KCNE/
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:50, Reply)
hahahahahaha

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:51, Reply)
that's your new screensaver that is

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:53, Reply)
I'm getting a tattoo of that this very day

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:55, Reply)
I hope you had your speakers turned up

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:56, Reply)
I have no speakers at work, is there an accompanying song?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:58, Reply)
there surely is

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:59, Reply)
which link?
the one to your profile?
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:52, Reply)
what?
alright
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:53, Reply)
alright
alright?

how is momobird?
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:55, Reply)
he was upset earlier because it was snowing and he didn't know what the fuck all the white stuff was
so he screamed at it and that seems to have fixed it, it's not snowing now
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:56, Reply)
they should put him on the weather forecast
much better than the other bints
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:59, Reply)
he did a MASSIVE plop when he woke up
I'm surprised a small parrot can hold that much plop inside without bursting at the seams

he properly had to strain to get it out too, I should really video it one morning
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)
that would be a very niche area of the internet
parrot plop porn

mind you. if it exists, you know that someone, somewhere has gotten off to it.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:05, Reply)
I like how you Americans say "gotten" instead of the British version
we just say "got" here
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:06, Reply)
i just figured it would be an american who had cracked one off to the sight of a parrot anus slowly straining out a large wet sloppy shit

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:09, Reply)
don't stop

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:10, Reply)
too late, i'm done
just like momo
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:13, Reply)
FANTASTIC.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:55, Reply)
I rarely get hired as a Flash developer, can you believe that?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:57, Reply)
Why did I click on that?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:56, Reply)
because I told you not to

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:57, Reply)
I hate reverse psychology

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:59, Reply)
I prefer reverse cowgirl

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:04, Reply)
a cowboy then?
are you coming onto Darth and his rhinestone t-shirt?
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:08, Reply)
i thought it was a double bluff :0(

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:56, Reply)
Cheers.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:58, Reply)
Don't click it again then.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:58, Reply)
*waits*

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:59, Reply)
DAMMIT

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:59, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:00, Reply)
I'll just wait, pretty sure it'll get on the populol page EVENTUALLY

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:02, Reply)
I SAID IT'LL END UP ON THE POPULOL oh fuck the lot of you

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:08, Reply)
hey, i clicked it

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:08, Reply)
I didn't

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:11, Reply)
^ This, right here?
This is the internet
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:40, Reply)
Cheers.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:56, Reply)
Morning all
I'm not having a good day. Calf 1 has chickenpox, calf 2 has cold, sportswife is ill and the mother in law has just been admitted to hospital with a suspected stroke.

I do trust other people's days are going slightly better than mine
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:56, Reply)
My sig says it all

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:57, Reply)
I am most pleased by this HH

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:00, Reply)
No one would think badly of you if you started drinking now.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:57, Reply)
I HAVE NO BEER!
*sobs*
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:59, Reply)
ANDREW MARR!

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:58, Reply)
Indeed

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 10:59, Reply)
sorry that was a little insensitive
hope it all works out, at least getting chicken pox out the way young is the best way, a cold will pass, sportswife will probably get better (hard to say I'm not a doctor) and mother in law...well time will tell.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)
I've had better days
My underfloor heating has also failed :o(
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:02, Reply)
Oh shit, cold feet all round
I blame your last plumber
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:04, Reply)
As do I

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:06, Reply)
I'm thinking of writing a complaint to the affordable mobiles people.
I can't be bothered to write everything down so I'm thinking of just saying "I'm too busy to go into details on my numerous problems with your service, here's the order number, please review your logs on this order and let me know what compensation you think is appropriate"
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:00, Reply)
CSB

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)
I don't think this is within the Candian Saftey Boards remit.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:02, Reply)


(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)
tee hee

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:04, Reply)
I think your compensation is the low price and free item.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:02, Reply)
Yeaahhh

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:04, Reply)
you want a lazy and poorly organised company to sort through your issues and logs and work out compensation themselves?
you need to highlight all the faults and issues and push for the comp that you think that you deserve.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:02, Reply)
I think your compensation should be the lesson you've learned
and possibly a warming lecture about things coming too easily from an avuncular chap in a cardy and smoking a pipe.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:06, Reply)
click

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:09, Reply)
AND A TV RIGTH?!?!

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:12, Reply)
Did I ever tell you about the Treworgey Tree Fayre of 1989?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:01, Reply)
it's funny you say that cos when I was at the Treworgey Tree Fayre of 1989, this guy took some bad acid and made a noise just like that

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:03, Reply)
I was at some mushroom festival where there wasn't even any music
they just flashed a bunch of maglites at the crowd who were so "whacked out" on "goofballs" that they thought it was brilliant and not a complete waste of everybody's time.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:04, Reply)
My mate fell down a ravine and we were all so high we thought it was hysterically funny.
Then the next morning we realised that it was indeed hysterically funny.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:11, Reply)
I've got *all* the stories.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:12, Reply)
Have you got any stories about griddled chorizo??!?!

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:13, Reply)
PULLED griddled chorizo?
COURSE I HAVE!!!
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:18, Reply)
I'm sure Lusty LOVES her new nickname

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:19, Reply)
Oh man were you there too???
I was there as well! I can't believe this!!!!!!
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:09, Reply)
I think we should have a good old, long chat about this RIGHT NOW

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:10, Reply)
because we are clever and successful and generally remind you of your own inadequacies and the fact that you should delete your account and kill yourself?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:05, Reply)
Bunch of Australian solicitors have kept me hanging on
for my inheritance since October.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:07, Reply)
probably because they know you'll spunk it straight up the wall on a shitty old rustbucket

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:08, Reply)
don't talk about his wife that way
just cos she's ginger
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:09, Reply)
Nono, I don't have a wife
and swipe's the one who's ginger.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:17, Reply)
for some reason i thought you were battered...
are you kneeling down or summit?
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:19, Reply)
I couldn't look less like Battered if I tried.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:23, Reply)
on what planet, in what universe, at what time of day
am i ginger?
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:21, Reply)
On the one, in the one, at the one
with your hair in it.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:24, Reply)
Writing letters is expensive and takes time.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:08, Reply)
OBJECTION!
haha, I bet guys say that when you slip a finger up their blurter
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:09, Reply)
i've never done that
despite numerous requests
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:09, Reply)
you're SO vanilla
/ac
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:10, Reply)
NO WAY


no way /ac
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:13, Reply)
objected to having a finger in your blurter?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:10, Reply)
objected to use of the word "blurter" i think

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:13, Reply)
hu

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:05, Reply)
Hi windy pig, you feeling a it better today?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:12, Reply)
Hi Windy Pig!!!
Looking forward to S3CR3TPUB-B4$H but I am concerned. You’re going back from Paddington which is in West London, which everyone knows is gash. You’re in the pub game and as such I don’t want to take you to a pub full of Ben Fogle types in mustard cords and brown brogues so we have a slight issue, do you see?
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:17, Reply)
does this mean I'm invited?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:19, Reply)
Course you are

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:23, Reply)
er....... hello???????

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:19, Reply)
you're love of cords and brogues precludes you from proceedings

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:20, Reply)
i like anything
except shallowness and pikeyness.

the rest is just window dressing, mein lieb.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:22, Reply)
+ meat

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:24, Reply)
Don't talk about her meat window
it's very rude.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:51, Reply)
Hiya!!!

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:24, Reply)
I don't mind taking a bus across London to get home,
I can go from Victoria or wherever really. Bus runs to oxford all night.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 12:07, Reply)
Thanks for the gaz inviting me, by the way.
You Treworgey Tree Fayre prick
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:20, Reply)
clicken dis

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:21, Reply)
No problem you French turd.
There's not even a venue agreed yet - AS YOU CAN SEE ABOVE YOU NONCE.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:24, Reply)
You know, just a little
"Hey mate, my bestest buddy, most awesomest guy I know, we're off down the pub as Winders is in town on the 4th, fancy coming? Haven't got a venue yet, but wanted you to come along so save the date!"

Kind of thing.

You know.

Manners.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:26, Reply)
Bog off Gaston.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:28, Reply)
I've got a m,ini packet of "Love Hearts" the first one says WOW

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:16, Reply)
the second one says "you're mine"

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:16, Reply)
The third one says "true Love"

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:16, Reply)
The forth one says "good pals"
poor kronely
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:17, Reply)
The fifth one says "best mate"

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:17, Reply)
The sixth one says "good pals" again

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:17, Reply)
The seventh one says "like you"

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:17, Reply)
There is no eighth one :(

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:18, Reply)
The seventh one says 'kill yourself'

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:18, Reply)
These Love Hearts are shit.
They should do them with messages like "go on, it's my birthday" and "while you're down there, love"
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:19, Reply)
they did do offensive ones once, for a change

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:20, Reply)
"oily massage"
"piss play"
"space dock me"
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:20, Reply)
"sorry love, wrong hole"

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:20, Reply)
"finger me blurter"

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:21, Reply)
"Did I ever tell you about the Treworgey Tree Fayre of 1989?"

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:25, Reply)
*hands on ears*
I'M NOT LISTENING,I'M NOT LISTENING, I'M NOT LISTENING,I'M NOT LISTENING,I'M NOT LISTENING,I'M NOT I'M NOT LISTENING,I'M NOT
LISTENING,I'M NOT LISTENING,I'M NOT LISTENING,I'M NOT LISTENING,I'M NOT LISTENING,I'M NOT LISTENING,I'M NOT LISTENING,I'M NOT LISTENING................................................
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:27, Reply)
You should have listened to Hawkwind at the Treworgey Tree Fayre, I can tell you!

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:39, Reply)
:o(

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:46, Reply)
hahahaha

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:28, Reply)
'paki bastard'
'AIDS'

etc
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 11:28, Reply)

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