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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Come on you lot
There's been a decent amount of posts today. Dont stop at the vinegare strokes of worktime!

Nicknames - good or bad ones you or friends have had
Working from home - what have you got away with doing?
Sex Lies - worst things you've said to get some hole
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:29, 153 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
I told your mum i loved her
and I NEVER CALLED BACK
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:30, Reply)
Chompy's calcualtor showed that i am better off this year than last!
it alos showed my massive fucking tax bill
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:33, Reply)
Tax is a percentage of earning. By saying you have a massive tax bill it means you also have massive earnings.
Just pointing this out because some people wouldn't have noticed.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:34, Reply)
That's not was I was aiming to say, i'm not battered
my point is i don't think one realises quite how much one pays out in relation to overall earnings.

And that is before VAT and other "stealth" taxes
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:36, Reply)
All money finds its way back to the government eventually

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:40, Reply)
*cries*

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:47, Reply)
I knew someone who we called 'Medium Sized Dave'.
We didn't know anyone else called Dave.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:34, Reply)
two tickets to Waqqistan!!!

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:37, Reply)
'MAKE 'EM SINGLES - WE ENT COMING BRACK!!!!!'

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:47, Reply)
We have a small, medium and large Bri in our drinking circle

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:02, Reply)
I used to work with two Daves
Big Dave was so named because he was in charge of the others (including Little Dave), and Little Dave had a reverse nickname because he was massively obese. True story.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:03, Reply)
I had two guys working in my reseach group called Will
both sizeable. So one was Big Will, and the other Big Scary Will.

Thing is, Big Will was actually called Craig.

Sometimes, people need a bit of a kicking.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:58, Reply)
sir sand goblin comes from an event that happened in 1999

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:39, Reply)
Please elaborate.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:46, Reply)
Or not, I don't really care soz

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:46, Reply)
yeh yer alright ta

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:16, Reply)
i once told a guy he looked like a corn fed farm boy
It worked, my friend still laughs about it
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:40, Reply)
We call one guy Mick
But his real name is Michael
IT'S NON STOP LOL ROUND HERE
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:42, Reply)
Are you taking the mick lolololololzzz

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:43, Reply)
No that would be kidnap

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:44, Reply)
I completed HoTS on hard by the way.
It was well good.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:44, Reply)
Hrug I'm still only just a tthat planet with the dodgy russian guy
too many games have come out, been busy playing other shit
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:48, Reply)
Ah yes, my so called girlfriend was talking to me through the introduction cutscene for that planet.
So I missed all the build up :(
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:50, Reply)
I never paid attention to the first game so I dunno if I'm supposed to know or care who the russian is
But everyone seemed very excited by him being alive
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:51, Reply)
Was he in the first SC2 or was he in SC1?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:53, Reply)
must've been sc1, don't remember him from wol
but then it's ages since I played that
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:58, Reply)
Is this a Welsh version of the BBC?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:06, Reply)
y

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:08, Reply)
I KNOW I AM!

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:53, Reply)
Actually on occasion we call him Micktendowii Sexbox 3000 Stormcaller 'The Snake' Pinderosa
TOTES LOLZ
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:48, Reply)
Wow that's some serious LOLZ there.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:56, Reply)
We get very bored

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:58, Reply)
Racist

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:03, Reply)
Shut it pompey-wog

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:06, Reply)
Woah
You ign'ant, man, Straight up ign'ant.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:06, Reply)
SORRY I DON'T SPEAK PATOIS

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:09, Reply)
shit negro

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:10, Reply)
gun 4 a poo now

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:13, Reply)
He really is a shit negro. Look at him there, all Irish.
There's only ever been one black Paddy and poor old Phil Lynott is no more.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:18, Reply)
You know what I've never seen?
A black person with oriental features. Do they exist? I mean, in the whole history of human events a chinese person (for example) MUST have bred with a black person, right? Is it just a genetic thing, where their baby will be either black or chinese, and not a combination of the two? I think about that sometimes.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:21, Reply)
Hip hop MC Redman is half black, half Korean, and looks it

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:22, Reply)
So he does!
Wow
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:24, Reply)
That's one off your 'bucket list' eh?
Glad to help
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:26, Reply)
Everyone I knew growing up had a nickname without exception.
Never worked from home.
I can honestly say, hand on heart that I've never said anything 'to get some hole', you revolting man.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:43, Reply)
northern ent he?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:43, Reply)
Quite clearly.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:44, Reply)
lols
I thought that would provoke some kind of response
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:02, Reply)
Bullshit, Lusty is only going out with you because of your celebrity annecdotes.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:43, Reply)
They come for the celebrity anecdotes, but stay for the Tree Fayre reminiscences.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:45, Reply)
is that even a word?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:47, Reply)

I believe so
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:48, Reply)
Textbook

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:48, Reply)
few, I thought I was going to look like a right berk!

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:49, Reply)
Nice to see you dodged 'that' bullet eh???

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:50, Reply)
I'm not with you. Which one?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:48, Reply)
reminiscences

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:49, Reply)
Well of course it is, you oaf.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:53, Reply)
i can't even pronounce it :o(

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:53, Reply)
As I say to Len, 'break it down into separate syllables YOU STUPID FUCKING IDIOT'

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:55, Reply)
rem -in- is-scen-ces

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:57, Reply)
Well there you go! Well done!

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:04, Reply)
Hahahahaha check out their example of its usage:
www.thefreedictionary.com/reminiscences
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:54, Reply)
lol
i can also buy some reminiscences on Amazon apparently
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:55, Reply)
Nicknames I can think of:
G-Lez, Bungle, Fourpence, Boggy Burrows, Bod, Furry, Yeti fuck it there are millions
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:44, Reply)
"Yeti fuck it there are millions" isn't very catchy.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:48, Reply)
Unlike the scabies he is riddled with.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:49, Reply)
haven't kissed and made up tehn?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:49, Reply)
Nope.
I am told he 'liked' a photo of me on 'Face Book' the other day. I'd 'like' him to give me some money and a grovelling apology.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:52, Reply)
You should write a complaint to his complaint deptment like I did to the affordable mobiles people today.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:53, Reply)
I bet there is some really good telly on over Easter
like Doctor Who and Star Trek and gamesmaster
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:54, Reply)
LOL

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:10, Reply)
Oh fucking shit I'll miss Dr who...

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:19, Reply)
Now M-days gone
I have nothing to look forwards to
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:54, Reply)
neither does chompy

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:55, Reply)
you need to make a fb account just to add this as a comment to that photo

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:54, Reply)
Can we all just pretend I've done that please?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:57, Reply)
*loooks at facebook*
*lols HARD*
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 16:57, Reply)
Wot larks eh?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:02, Reply)
That's a curlew

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:14, Reply)
Now wash your hands

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:21, Reply)
STUNNEDUPDATE
Cash machines work in Cyprus if you don't bank with a Cypriot bank.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:02, Reply)
gutted for them, i bet he's standing there taking money out for the lols

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:05, Reply)
Whilst looking over his shoulder at the locals and winking cheekily, I shouldn't wonder.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:07, Reply)
that'll be his explanation for getting bummed silly anyway

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:08, Reply)
Lucky for him he's fucking gigantic or he'd be a prime robbery target

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:09, Reply)
i wish I was on holiday

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:10, Reply)
I wish I was going on holiday in the next 4 years

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:11, Reply)
how much do you spend on MDs and brandy in a month?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:14, Reply)
^ watch out it's plod

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:17, Reply)
Ahhhhh, you got me!!!

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:18, Reply)
You'll never take me alive copper

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:18, Reply)
i was planning on beheading you to be honest

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:19, Reply)
Not that anyone will investigate it

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:21, Reply)
i certainly won't

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:22, Reply)
Alright Monters?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:22, Reply)
Bin worse, you?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:23, Reply)
Fucking knackered if I'm honest
and looking forward to a long weekend.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:24, Reply)
I have my nipper on Sunday
This will be the first calendar event (xmas, birthday, Easter etc) upon which I have ever seen my kid since the day she was born.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:28, Reply)
:(

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:29, Reply)
It's a start

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:31, Reply)
Progress, I guess.
Got any plans?
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:31, Reply)
Down the pub, loads of drugs, leave the kid in a park.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:31, Reply)
LOL
Nah probably just have a roast dinner, play some music together, write and illustrate a story, all that kinda shit.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:34, Reply)
We've got a massive leg of lamb in the fridge
The missus is going to go all Greek and make loads of nice stuff with which to accompany it.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:36, Reply)
Women 'going all Greek' has been a major problem in my life.
I, too, associate it with carving knives but not in *quite* the same way...
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:41, Reply)
It's all Greek to you eh?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:43, Reply)
Quite possibly the shittest joke you have ever made. Well done.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:52, Reply)
Thanks.
I reckon it'll be too cold for Bletchley on Monday.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:53, Reply)
I reckon you might well be right old boy
We've at least another week of this Siberian shit, I understand
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:54, Reply)
Science museum instead? Micro had a great time there before. Plus it's free.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:57, Reply)
There's a special children's play room in the basement
Called the Bartleby room
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:09, Reply)
In the hotel bar right now with beer and salted peanuts.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:23, Reply)
SALTED PEANUTS!!!!!

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:23, Reply)
YES111!!!

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:24, Reply)
I've usually been called by some variant on my surname.
As have my friends.

So, that was fun.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:23, Reply)
Depardpoo?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:24, Reply)
Gonz's French cousin etc etc

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:25, Reply)
Never had a nickname.
The wife calls me DG at home though; I can't remember the last time she called me by my actual name.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:26, Reply)
Yes but nobody wants a husband called Derek.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:26, Reply)
YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T TELL ANYONE!
You utter bastard, Finlay.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:27, Reply)
That's Findlay with a d. Thank you.
Anymore of that and I'll tell people your middle name is Muriel.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:43, Reply)
I used to know a Findlay
He was a cunt
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:46, Reply)
I imagine they all are.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:47, Reply)
I second this motion

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:47, Reply)
Hi Findlay.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:47, Reply)
TERRIBLE (but utterly relevant) NAMEDROP ALERT
My brother used to have some dealings with Finley Quaye ('member him?) aka (at the time) 'Dodgy Finley'. He was a) dodgy as fuck and b) a cunt
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:57, Reply)
* writes this down to savour again *
FASCINATING.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 17:58, Reply)
a dodgy cunt even after all, eh?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:01, Reply)
I don't think I've ever lied to get a shag
I've lied like fuck to avoid some, though.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:02, Reply)
They do say bald men are very attractive to some women

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:08, Reply)
I wasn't always bald, Nakers
nor has my hair or lack of it had any effect on anything to do with pulling, really.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:10, Reply)
I assumed that you were born bald, wearing aviators and piloting a yacht

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:13, Reply)
*finger triggers*

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:19, Reply)
Then he goes
Then I go
Thn HE goes
Then I go

I might strangle the girl next to me on the train.

She also keeps saying the 'idle home show' instead of ideal, it's one fucking syllable you cretin
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:07, Reply)
Take your moaning away from here thanks.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:08, Reply)
Hey it's all Greek to me!!!!11111

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:09, Reply)
That was comedy gold I tell you. Comedy GOLD.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:14, Reply)
Uk tv gold maybe

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:16, Reply)
Ha ha ha

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:18, Reply)
both idle and ideal
are two syllables. Just sayin.

Not, you understand, that it would make her any less cretinous.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:10, Reply)
Is I-de-al not 3
Either way she's a cunt
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:12, Reply)
actually, you might be right there.
and she's definitely a cunt.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:18, Reply)
*screengrabs*
*frames*
*adds to achievements on CV*
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:18, Reply)
ive got broadband now at home with between 6.5 Mbps and 14.0 Mbps, that's good right ?
how long should my ethernet cable be?
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:18, Reply)
eleventy.

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:19, Reply)
That's fine I get about 8 and that's enough to stream iplayer in HD
The longer the better, helps to magnify the signal you see
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:19, Reply)
I see
I don't know where I'd be without you badmons
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:21, Reply)
It's ok, not amazing, but ok for home use. What about the upload speed?

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:19, Reply)
fucked if I know
edit - all they say is speeds of up to 16mb, up to being the operative word and no fucking fibre optics for me :((
Still it seems to be 140 notes up front for 18 months broadband and wifi hotspot access, so I don't really give a fuck
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:22, Reply)
Unless you do lots of file sharing then it shouldn't really matter.
Edit: for uploads I mean. The deal you've got doesn't sound too bad. Check the connection speed again in a few weeks, sometimes they slow people down after a while, hoping they won't notice.
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:25, Reply)
file sharing is theft
it's not really anything for work, I needed to stop getting bullied by gonz thats all
(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:26, Reply)
lol

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:23, Reply)
what badmons doesn't know about home connectivity issues isn't worth knowing

(, Wed 27 Mar 2013, 18:25, Reply)

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