Bored of all the music chat. I have taken the afternoon off to drink and sleep. What are you doing?
Alt: how many taps do you have in your house?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:40, 211 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

You

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:41, Reply)

Are

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:41, Reply)

Starting

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:42, Reply)

Another

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:42, Reply)

New

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:42, Reply)

Thread

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:42, Reply)

Yes

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:45, Reply)

+I

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:46, Reply)

+am

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:46, Reply)

+a

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:46, Reply)

+ Angry Midget

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:46, Reply)

No.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:49, Reply)

+one

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:56, Reply)

+loves

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:56, Reply)

+me

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:56, Reply)

Sorry to hear that you sad lonely twat.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:58, Reply)

tee hee

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:00, Reply)

I'm at work today and tomorrow and saturday and sunday
I'm well jell of you lot on your jesus holidays

Alt: 3 4. IMAGINE THAT.
( Theoban What of it, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:42, Reply)

Working
Alt: 18
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:42, Reply)

whaaat do you live in a tap palace?????

( Theoban What of it, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:45, Reply)

B&Q.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:45, Reply)

Sleeps wrapped up in insulation down on aisle 5
actually that sounds pretty good
( Theoban What of it, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:47, Reply)

I would love a pagemaster style adventure in B&Qs

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:49, Reply)

12 bedroom house

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:00, Reply)

giz some cash

( Theoban What of it, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:05, Reply)

I'm only one of the tenants, sorry.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:06, Reply)

oh shit soz I didn't mean owt by it
look I just hope you get better one day so you can leave and lead a normal life
( Theoban What of it, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:09, Reply)

This is comfortably the worst "Alt" of all time
Including the Smashing Pumpkins.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:43, Reply)

I consider that to be a compliment, up there with the one I received yesterday for my 'it's all Greek to you' post.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:45, Reply)

I don't even own an house.

( Kroney, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:43, Reply)

Have you finally moved yet?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:44, Reply)

Nope!
Starting to look again now, though. Hopefully end of the month.

He says.

Again.
( Kroney, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:46, Reply)

there should be some big sofa boxes out there after the bank holiday sales

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:47, Reply)

By that time you and OG will be thinking about buying a house

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:48, Reply)

He's got a wedding to pay for first.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:50, Reply)

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
Oh, you guys.
( Kroney, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:52, Reply)

Even if you did you're french so you'd probably have a well and a hole in the ground for a toilet.

( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:47, Reply)

Yeah, but the flatmate's Indian so....oh, wait.

( Kroney, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:51, Reply)

You know if you Google "Indian Taps" you don't get any results

( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:53, Reply)

alt: I tapped your mum

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:43, Reply)

Im pretending to work whilst chatting on here dur
Alt. 10 including the outside tap. Do gas taps and radiator taps count, if so fuck off Im not counting
( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:45, Reply)

yes and Tappas if you have any

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:47, Reply)

ppasTays

( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:49, Reply)

do showers count?
eight, or twelve
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:47, Reply)

I like The Smashing Pumpkins.

( Kroney, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:47, Reply)

I don't like Mondays

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:49, Reply)

shall I tell you why?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:49, Reply)

No

( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:50, Reply)

I like Blind Melon

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:49, Reply)

TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS
TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS TAPS
( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:50, Reply)

6. IMAGINE.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:50, Reply)

Did I ever tell you about the Treworgey Tree Fayre of July 1989?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:51, Reply)

How many taps were there?

( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:52, Reply)

No more than about three.
Someone died from drinking the lake* water


*lake/bog
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:54, Reply)

Ah Darwin at work

( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:55, Reply)

He was the only person there who was 'at work' I can tell you

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:58, Reply)

I for one would love to hear all about it

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:52, Reply)

how many fucking taps where there at that?
It's all about the domestic plumbing fittings now, Boyce. That's where the hep cats are at.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:52, Reply)

ANDREW MARR!

( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:52, Reply)

ANDREW MARRS!!!!

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:53, Reply)

Andrew William Stevenson Marr!!!!

( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:58, Reply)

I'm going to kill you if I see you on Monday.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:53, Reply)

SILENCE

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:54, Reply)

Infidel.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:59, Reply)

Achmed the Dead Terrorist'szzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:54, Reply)

ANDREW MARRS!!!!

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:55, Reply)

Seriously, which monged out crusty hippie apologist cunt thought that was a good name for a festival?

( Kroney, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:54, Reply)

Me.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:54, Reply)

Figures.

( Kroney, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:55, Reply)

I was playing some music

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:53, Reply)

when I lived in Heaton Moor I had three bathrooms
so yeah, I was fucking sorted for taps there
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:56, Reply)

did you just use one until it was unsalvageable then rotate?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:58, Reply)

the downstairs one got backed up once
and my flatmate told me it wasn't his fault because he could recognise the turds and they deffo weren't his
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:08, Reply)

I'd like to be able to coil mine into a recognisable initial or motif
like shitty zorro
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:12, Reply)

Two in the kitchen.
Two in the bathroom.

I feel under tapped. :(
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:54, Reply)

I have 3 in the kitchen
2 in the downstairs bathroom, 4 in the upstairs bathroom (not including shower) and 1 outside.What do I win?
( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:55, Reply)

hot, cold, horse jizz?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:57, Reply)

The modern kitchen is incomplete without an equine spaff dispenser.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:58, Reply)

I love horse spunk
best of all the seminal fluids
I love horse spunk
it TASTES GREAT!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:01, Reply)

We had this the other day, Hot, cold, filtered. We never use the filtered tap or change the filter, its just there

( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:58, Reply)

you should change the filter for one of those nesquik chocolate milk making straws

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:59, Reply)

Or a horse spunk dispenser.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:00, Reply)

it's much easier than collecting a pint of it off your doorstep everymorning

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:02, Reply)

It's true, but that's partly the attitude
that has seen a 78% reduction in spunk deliveries over the last 10 years, and the loss of nearly 400 spunkmen's jobs.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:05, Reply)

And attach it to the cornish mains fed milk system we have?

( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:00, Reply)

I assume it's like the flintstones and you have a cow backed up to you kitchen window anyway

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:01, Reply)

Yeh but thats for the fresh manure

( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:02, Reply)

I'll be honest here, I wasn't expecting another TAP CHAT thread after that one.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:00, Reply)

Aren't you lucky eh?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:02, Reply)

If you order a new tablet
you can get free taps
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:55, Reply)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
you're also funny
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:55, Reply)

I'm clicking all of these.

( Kroney, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:57, Reply)

You're a terrible bully.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:03, Reply)

You get me free when you take out a cheap phone contract with a bunch of shysters.

( Kroney, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:05, Reply)

+ Mrs Gandhi in the ashtray
/80s
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:57, Reply)

That seems a reasonable amount to me.
Any more would just be excessive.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:58, Reply)

Oh wait, just read Badge's post below mine.
Six is the reasonable quantity.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:01, Reply)

Your bathroom doesn't have a bath, then?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 11:59, Reply)

maybe it's like a prison all in one job

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:00, Reply)

It does but they don't have hot water in his place

( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:01, Reply)

he was supposed to get free hot water with the taps :(

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:02, Reply)

I heard he got some lukewarm water the other day
but then they cme and took it back
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:04, Reply)

it was the wrong temperature, apparently.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:05, Reply)

It's ok though. He's now getting 3D water.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:11, Reply)

office lols a hoy!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:12, Reply)

His taps are marked S and D but he wanted H and D
n
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:17, Reply)

Yeah, but mixer tap, and mixer tap in the sink.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:02, Reply)

You have mains-fed tonic water in your bathroom?
Clearly MK is the land of the future
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:03, Reply)

Mixer taps still have two taps on them sometimes
unless its one of those shit ones you have one tap to twist until you get the right temperature. I hate those.
( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:03, Reply)

Our shower is thermostatic and it was shit, but the landlord replaced the cartridge and now it's really good.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:05, Reply)

with a horse spunk dispenser?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:06, Reply)

Those ones where you twist to get the temperature and pull the lever up and down for pressure?
I like those.
( Kroney, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:06, Reply)

Fag

( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:09, Reply)

But you can operate them with your elbows and pretend to be a surgeon or a flid
hmm I can't remember where flid is on the words I shouldn't say scale
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:14, Reply)

but what do you do when you want both hot and cold water simultaneously, like any reasonable person?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:05, Reply)

He has to get a hosepipe through from the kitchen

( Theoban What of it, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:14, Reply)

I am already bored with this thread.
New rule kids NO TAP CHAT
( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:00, Reply)

First rule of Tap club?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:00, Reply)

I'm hungry

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:01, Reply)

I've eaten four pieces of cake
I feel a bit sick and can't face lunch now.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:02, Reply)

because of all the horse spunk chat?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:02, Reply)

That and the morning beers

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:09, Reply)

Hi Stunned.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:11, Reply)

Who said that?
Oh sorry mate didn't see you from my advanced height
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:17, Reply)

My boss just brought me an easter egg
HTH
( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:04, Reply)

If you wanted to eat in a restaurant
Would you let your wife book it?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:06, Reply)

My wife doesn't like eating out

( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:07, Reply)

+me
+her
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:08, Reply)

TTJ

( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:10, Reply)

well, at least she's not going to turn to another lady for comfort, then.
Some small consolation.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:09, Reply)

So Battered makes a nice, harmless thread about middle class interests like taps
and it doesn't start moving quickly until somebody brings up the subject of horse spunk.

Typical b3ta.
( Kroney, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:03, Reply)

You Frenchy type don't like playing with your food

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:07, Reply)

I have a homeopathic water tap

( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:08, Reply)

a tap that hates gays?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:11, Reply)

oh man I miss all the best threads :'(

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:08, Reply)

All the best threads seem to lack your input
Coincidence I think not
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:12, Reply)

YES.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:12, Reply)

it's because I was working, rather than posting on a puerile website in work hours.
Surely this is exemplary behaviour for a potential employee?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:17, Reply)

This needs an irony check.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:13, Reply)

alright Lokers?
I was clearing out old gazzes the other day, and it seems that when you first started posting, I thought you were a sockpuppet of freefair.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:16, Reply)

This is true
it was confusing at the time.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:19, Reply)

Correlation =/= causation.
HTH xx
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:14, Reply)

I bet you have a MIXER tap
God I'm good
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:18, Reply)

actually, all my taps are mixer taps.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:18, Reply)

are they nicely polished or are they scratched?!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:19, Reply)

I GET THIS

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:20, Reply)

I'm goin out to get some Easter eggs, anyone want anythink

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:19, Reply)

yer ten rothmans cheers m8

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:20, Reply)

A large kestral tin please

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:21, Reply)

A free TV

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:22, Reply)

I'd quite like a smartphone, but I only want to make calls on it

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:27, Reply)

You should use Affordablemobiles.co.uk
there service is TOP NOTCH
(PsychoChomp, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:38, Reply)

6 bottles of Stowford Press. Ta.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:22, Reply)

Some new Taps

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:24, Reply)

*tap tap tap tap tap tap tap tap*

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:26, Reply)

THis thread is so shit I feel like quickly running round the building and taking a picture of every tap
and then posting them just for B3th to mod later
( Peej, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:25, Reply)

b3th is a fat bitch

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:26, Reply)

i am nibbling on lemon meringue fudge from yesterday's food fair
in terms of taps... my flat has 3 in the kitchen, and 2 in the bathroom. but that's not a house. so childhood home has... 2 in the utility room, 2 in the kitchen, 1 on the fridge, 2 in the toilet, 3 in dad's bathroom, 3 in mine, and 4 in the family bathroom plus 1 in the garage, 1 in the garden = 19 taps.

that's 4 mins of my life i'm never getting back, you terrible little man.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:26, Reply)

HAHA NO EN SUITE POVVO

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:27, Reply)

or utility room

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:27, Reply)

or guest toilet

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:27, Reply)

you must live in somalia or somewhere like that

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:28, Reply)

KENSINGTON
and i live by myself. so everything is an en-suite.

so there.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:29, Reply)

Yer KENSINGTON ON SOMALIA MORE LIKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
if i can be arsed i'll send you some food aid and a fly swatter
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:30, Reply)

imma sit by my letterbox and wait RIGHT NOW

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:32, Reply)

oh dear unemployed as well, how quickly your facade of respectability has failed

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:34, Reply)

I CAN WORK FROM HOME
no post yet though...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:38, Reply)

I'm nibbling on Levi Roots nuts
They are a bit hot LOL
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:27, Reply)

The garden counts?
In that case, add 2 onto mine.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:29, Reply)

it's attached to the wall of the house
so imma say it does
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:29, Reply)

I'm guessing 'dad's bathroom' is some sort of max mosley deal?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:29, Reply)

your fragile little mind could never handle the truth

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:30, Reply)

Any reappearance of fake Swipe?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:32, Reply)

pass

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:33, Reply)

Have you upset CQ of late?
Just a theory I'm working on
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:33, Reply)

nah
it smells of the roary one to me....... roary?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:37, Reply)

'rachlswip smeals'
I reckon I can do better than that
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:38, Reply)

hmm good point

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:39, Reply)

16 taps inside, 6 outside on the home paddock. and two in each of the three other paddocks.
I'm home at the parents place! So happy to be home!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:30, Reply)

I've got 6 in my house.
No wait, 7 taps. Sorry about that.

I'm hungry. Can somebody make me a reuben, please?
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:30, Reply)

You mean like swipey?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:32, Reply)

Fuck off you Tory cunt

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:34, Reply)

said teh porsche driving marketing director

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:36, Reply)

I feel as though I can sense some animosity between you and Alan, Batso.
I'm quite intuitive like that.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:36, Reply)

Batts has beef with everyone
He's like a keyboard Rambo.
( Kroney, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:40, Reply)

who the fuck is reuben

( Theoban What of it, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:37, Reply)

one of turtles innit

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:37, Reply)

no you're thinking of david blaine

( Theoban What of it, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:40, Reply)

isn't it a kind of awful sandwich?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:37, Reply)

then why's it named after someone?
"Hi I'll have a Steve please"
bet it's yankfood
( Theoban What of it, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:41, Reply)

Yep

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:42, Reply)

Sir Peter Paul Rubens, was a Flemish Baroque painter, and a proponent of an extravagant Baroque style that emphasised movement, colour, and sensuality.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:38, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reuben_sandwich
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:39, Reply)

told you so
in your FACE, internet
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:39, Reply)

Looks pretty gross.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:40, Reply)

My face, I mean.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:40, Reply)

agreed

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:43, Reply)

why's it covered in horse jizz?

( Theoban What of it, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:41, Reply)

ask the frisbee man
he's the one who wants to eat it
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:43, Reply)

he don't reply no more when he gets insulted
poor frisboid :(
( Theoban What of it, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:45, Reply)

There will be deleting as normal

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:49, Reply)

I don't delete.
Also, I been busy, not sulking.
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 13:00, Reply)

The horse jizz is sauerkraut and thousand-island sauce.
I assume because it'd be cheaper than horse jizz or something.
( Frisbee OG wanker, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 13:01, Reply)

I've just arranged to see five flats in Muswell Hill :O

( Kroney, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:39, Reply)

stay away from me !!!!!!!! I mean it

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:40, Reply)

*that song by The Police*

( Kroney, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:41, Reply)

you bellend
HAMMERSMITH

you'll kill everyone and everything commuting from there to uxbridge every day. or just move in with office girl.

unless that's your real motive..... hmmmmm....... "oh darling, it's just so much of a schlep back home".....
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:42, Reply)

I LIKE MUSWELL HILL TOO

( Kroney, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:43, Reply)

BUSTED

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:43, Reply)

Going to be looking for a job, aren't I?
Besides, MH is on the North Circular and I'm used to driving.
( Kroney, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:44, Reply)

If you want to be 'closer to the action' Crouch End has more to do - Kings Head and the queens
also emvee lives there, so you can beat him up if you do see him
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 28 Mar 2013, 12:43, Reply)