Real ale is shit.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:16, 100 replies, latest was 13 years ago)

mobile phones, they're shit an all.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:17, Reply)

So is lunch.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:18, Reply)

wait, fuck, do they talk about anything else?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:20, Reply)

I neither know nor care, but I am anticipating Chomp getting upset because this thread will get more posts than his shit newsletter one.
The fucking spergling.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:22, Reply)

it's okay, if you talk about computer games he'll forget and bang on about xp and levelling up or something.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:25, Reply)

just don't mention mortgages, he gets quite upset :'(

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:26, Reply)

that's because he can't afford one

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:27, Reply)

CHOMP CAN'T AFFORD A MORTGAGE YOU SAY?

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:28, Reply)

that's exactly it.
Though strangely enough, he's desperate for a housing crash.

But he has me on 2.0 so he can't actually see your quote about his inability to buy property, soz.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:31, Reply)

a housing crash that would nicely fuck up his own parents' retirement plans, for example
he's a lovely little man
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:37, Reply)

You can't be too hard on him, people with autism often struggle to comprehend how things affect other people.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:46, Reply)

I heard he got turned down because he has a ccj out against him for unpaid starbucks bills.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:32, Reply)

He thought they were suspended coffees

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:00, Reply)

I keep thinking you're me
It's too much for my tiny brain to handle
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:01, Reply)

I like how the capital F and the lowercase l together look almost like an H

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:05, Reply)

I like the love heart xxx

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:08, Reply)

Alright MMPS

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:20, Reply)

wanker

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:20, Reply)

xx

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:23, Reply)

alright mmps

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:21, Reply)

alright dozer

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:22, Reply)

alright yeah
Heard any good house music recently?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:23, Reply)

sadly not, only been out to shitty pubs that play rubbish recently. you?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:25, Reply)

yeah
Still on a Daniel Avery tip, off to see him again next month. DJ Sneak getting some plays too, as is some vintage H-Foundation, Jay Haze and Mark Farina. I work in Leeds, it's second only to London for clubbing and housey music and disc jockeys and that.

I'll link you up to some beastly techno as well if you want, and a mate of mine just did an acid house set for the Boiler Room, I'll gaz you up later, yeah?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:30, Reply)

sweet beans.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:31, Reply)

Is real ale what you call your reflection?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:18, Reply)

I quite like it.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:19, Reply)

I put ice in mine.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:21, Reply)

I dunno what real ale is to be honest
I like ale but I've never been to a camra pub type place, and the only guy I knew who was into his camra stuff was a boring prick
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:21, Reply)

Is the camra guy Chompy?

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:22, Reply)

I've never met Chompy

( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:23, Reply)

ohpw can you be sure?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:00, Reply)

Apparently so.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:26, Reply)

I had a real ale once, fucking rank.
I reckon it's just dog piss and farmer's cum.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:23, Reply)

I'm going to go to a pub tonight and drink lager I think

( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:25, Reply)

I like lager, it tastes like lager.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:25, Reply)

I can't wait to be honest with you mmpsy, it's been ages since I last went to a pub and had a nice pint
at least a week, I'm dying here with this healthy lifestyle
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:27, Reply)

fucking hell, sadtimes theo.
I'm off out tomorrow for a pint, probably lager.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:29, Reply)

Lager can be a real ale as well.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:30, Reply)

It's all so confusing
but it's a porterhouse I'm going to so I can pretend I'm at a B4SH, that'll make it easier
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:33, Reply)

can it, can it really?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:34, Reply)

Yes, if it's bottle or cask conditioned.
Pretty rare for a lager, but if I make a lager it would still be classed as a real ale and a lager.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:36, Reply)

are you rnuk's comedy account?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:38, Reply)

I don't look like a lesbian.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:39, Reply)

I met rnuk once
I don't think he liked me
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:42, Reply)

why do you say that?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:43, Reply)

dunno, he just seemed cold and distant
wouldn't let me put my thumb up his arse either
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:46, Reply)

You weren't wearing enough tweed, I bet.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:47, Reply)

I wasn't wearing ANY tweed
I had a LOL t-shirt on that said 'GUESS I GOT BRAIN PROBLEMS' on it
Yeah I see the problem
I'm a tit
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:48, Reply)

were you at least wearing cyber steam punk goggles?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:50, Reply)

I had a cyber steam punk phone that looks indistinguishable from a normal mobile phone if that helps

( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:51, Reply)

unless it had a pocket watch glued to the back, I don't think it would.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:53, Reply)

balls, I didn't even bring a metal cigarette tin to keep my credit cards in

( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:55, Reply)

shitting hell theo, were you even wearing a top hat?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:55, Reply)

fucking hell this is complicated
I'm in London again next month, I'm gonna have to shell out loads so the denizens don't beat me to death with their copies of the Guardian
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:56, Reply)

being a modern victorian is hard man.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:57, Reply)

Put it on the calendarrrrrrr

(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:59, Reply)

Oh man a Reginald shirt kiss me you fool

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:52, Reply)

I'm in Exploding Dog today
WEBCOMICS
31 YEARS OLD
WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:54, Reply)

hey, don't worry about it
trust me on this
(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:02, Reply)

Wonderful, I've got the HMHB song in my head now.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:24, Reply)

dunno what that is soz

( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:25, Reply)

Oh Theoban :(
www.youtube.com/watch?v=djIXYW9X3Qg
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:29, Reply)

...this is piss poor musical 'comedy'
why am I listening to this?
why are you making me suffer this?
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:37, Reply)

We're going to have a disagreement here, Ban.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:41, Reply)

Hey it's ok, we can have our differences
You want to listen to one man band style stuff with wacky lyrics
That's ok man
We can still fuck
( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:44, Reply)

crikey, sounds like lolstudents to me. sadtimes.

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:43, Reply)

alright BraynDedd

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:25, Reply)

alright dozer

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:27, Reply)

The mods must really hate you, they deleted your pics :'(

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:32, Reply)

Just the giant Thatcherface, the rest are still there.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:44, Reply)

It means there's live yeast in the beer when you drink it.
That means the fizz if any is CO2 coming from yeast in the barrel/bottle rather than it being forced in.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:25, Reply)

woah no-one's spunked in my pint

( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:25, Reply)

I think chompy wants to spunk in your pint theo.
christ, he's such a sex pest.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:26, Reply)

nah he just wants to add his own co2 by sticking his arse just under the plimsoll line and letting rip with a few cheeky little trumps

( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:28, Reply)

ugh, I wish he's keep these sick fetishes to himself.
next he'll be strangle wanking himself into a packet of scampi fries while someone spanks his arse with a cactus.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:30, Reply)

CHEER THE FUCK UP YOU MOANING TWAT

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:26, Reply)

TOUCH MY BUM

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:27, Reply)

Please try to grow up at some point. You act like stupid kids.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:28, Reply)

don't you have anything better to do at least _some_ of the time?

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:28, Reply)

All my hobbies are (very) expensive.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:32, Reply)

I'm going her in May
www.readingbeerfestival.org.uk/
(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:56, Reply)

no-one in that picture 'beat the queues' is under 47

( Theoban What of it, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:59, Reply)

That's because all the students go there at 10am

(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:01, Reply)

haha, "Reading", like that's even a thing

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:12, Reply)

I had 3 bottles on Wednesday evening and felt awful
Hobgoblin, Old Crafty Hen and Fursty Ferret.

Mind you I also had a bottle of Barolo, that might not have helped.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 15:59, Reply)

were you listening to radio 4 on the wireless?

( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:01, Reply)

Adnams Broadside is my current favourite bottle tipple

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:01, Reply)

They sell that as a homebrew kit. Turns out nice.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:03, Reply)

*makes copious notes*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:06, Reply)

I'm quite partial to it
It was 3 for a fiver and since I also had wine I didn't want to get 6. That never ends well.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:07, Reply)

I dunno man, there's some thing on the bbc about REAL ale and ARTISAN beer I'm surprised chompy haasan't linked to

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:01, Reply)

I TOTALLY DID THIS MORNING!
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1932283
(PsychoChomp, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:03, Reply)

balance is restored

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:17, Reply)

as a non-drinker I have nothing to add to this so I shall simply reiterate that rachelswipe is a horrible fat mess

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:03, Reply)

woah check 'em

(King Zog of Albania lives in Kensington, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:05, Reply)

Careful now
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-22124015
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:07, Reply)

What a bent spastic.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:14, Reply)

Guess he'll be going to jail then.

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 16:21, Reply)

Replying purely to have ten times as many replies as Chomp's shit newsletter thread.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 12 Apr 2013, 19:01, Reply)