Friday innit
I don't trust men who have entirely removed their sideburns, what makes someone untrustworthy to you?

Alt: muffins, English or merkin?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 8:51, 134 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Fuck this shit, I'm off to bed.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 10 May 2013, 8:53, Reply)

Me too.
Budge up, I don't snore, honest.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 May 2013, 8:54, Reply)

oh dear, have you been over doing it again?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 8:57, Reply)

I've been under-doing it acksherrly

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:06, Reply)

Need to up your game, Boyce.
I suggest 'pre-loading' before you meet Jeff and the gang later.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:15, Reply)

I always drink beer on the tube after work anyway.
I'll just have three instead of one.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:22, Reply)

is this another secret bash?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:24, Reply)

Secret in the sense that they have been talking about it openly on these pages.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:24, Reply)

Why aren't we invited, Nakers?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:24, Reply)

I...I just don't know tangles
All i want is to be loved :'(
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:29, Reply)

Shh it's ok now
Hold this and I'll give you some lovin'
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:32, Reply)

Red trousers.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 May 2013, 8:55, Reply)

jeans today
so in your face Piotr
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 8:57, Reply)

Winsome good looks and floppy hair.
Private school backgrounds. Fondness for rugger.

All suspicious signs.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 10 May 2013, 8:57, Reply)

Any man that wears cologne every day.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 10 May 2013, 9:01, Reply)

according to tyhis lot mine will be out of date as it's about 10 years old...
i don't wear it much
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:02, Reply)

Perfume is for girls.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:03, Reply)

I guess you prefer your natural yurt musk to shine through

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:05, Reply)

Everyone prefers that.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:08, Reply)

I'll wear it for special occasions, like a wedding or a big posh dinner or something,
But blokes that roll in to the pub on any normal Saturday smelling like a tarts knickers, just seem to be screaming out
"notice me! I may be plain looking and probably very dull, but you can smell me across the bar so please notice me, oh god someone look at me, look what great taste I have? Why are you talking to him, that watch is clearly a day time piece not an evening piece, and I bet he's never heard of as many djs as me! Please look at me, oh god why am I so alone."
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 10 May 2013, 9:08, Reply)

terrible bullying here :'(

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:10, Reply)

Hahahaha
Have my first click of the day
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:13, Reply)

The people who reek of scent round my way tend to be hairgelled Asian estate agents in purple shirts and fucking gigantic ties

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:21, Reply)

Like Razz Prince from the situation comedy Phone Shop.
I believe his best bits are available on YouTube.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:25, Reply)

i never watched that, the trailers looked shit

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:28, Reply)

I thought that, however there are some very good bits in it

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:29, Reply)

Ha ha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:25, Reply)

People that have previously given me reason to believe that they have acted dishonestly

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:02, Reply)

TWOEY

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:03, Reply)

Dubble Aitch!
Alright love?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:04, Reply)

*blushes*
Yes
*giggles*
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:08, Reply)

I never lied about it, I just didn't think you'd love me if you knew the whole truth.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 10 May 2013, 9:09, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/wingingit/post1922144
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:10, Reply)

I'm not easily shocked
You can tell me anything hun x
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:10, Reply)

you disappeared yesterday after I asked you what HE is doing in the RSPB.
Is it some sort of government sponsored mental health link to therapy with birds?
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 10 May 2013, 9:19, Reply)

Baldmonkey?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:21, Reply)

don't do that.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 10 May 2013, 9:24, Reply)

Baldmonkey?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:25, Reply)

Fuck sake
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 10 May 2013, 9:33, Reply)

BALDMONKEY

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:36, Reply)

ENVOLVE!

(Gerald was innocent, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:38, Reply)

I like this

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:39, Reply)

:D
*Points at chickens*
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Fri 10 May 2013, 10:59, Reply)

Yes!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 May 2013, 12:34, Reply)

those beans were totally magic, you just didn't water them enough

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Crumpets

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:03, Reply)

Oh man, I do love a crumpet

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:05, Reply)

Just postin here to endorse this stance

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:18, Reply)

I want crumpets now
but the shops are soooo faaaaar awaaaaay
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:27, Reply)

CRUMPETS WIN \o/

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:32, Reply)

i prefer a muffin tbh

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:05, Reply)

Toasted with cheese and Worcestercestercestercestercestercestercestershire sauce on

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:23, Reply)

Teetotallers
What the fuck is wrong with you? Have a drink.

Alt: What's the difference?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:03, Reply)

Vegetarians
What the fuck is wrong with you? Eat some meat.

alt: merkin ones like you get in starbucks, english you toast and put jam on
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:04, Reply)

Never been to Starbucks

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:08, Reply)

merkin: parkersiniceland.files.wordpress.com/2012/01/lemon_blueberry_muffin.jpg

English/correct:http://pinchmysalt.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/IMG_6790-Version-2.jpg
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:11, Reply)

I have an English one then.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:12, Reply)

I'm glad we've got that sorted
Have you really never been in a starbucks? what about costa/neros/pret etc?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:13, Reply)

I might have had a coffee from Costa when out with my boss somewhere.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:14, Reply)

I mean I know Cov is pretty backwards, but still

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:19, Reply)

I think you've misunderstood here.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:23, Reply)

I've never been in Starbucks either
Fuck spending the price of a pint on a fucking coffee. No way man
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:25, Reply)

don't get me wrong I'm not keen on the place, i just thought it was unavoidable

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:25, Reply)

You just don't go in the door - very avoidable indeed.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:26, Reply)

often I'm rushing about and want a coffee or need lunch and wel, there it is

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:27, Reply)

That's the problem with London, isn't it?
There isn't really anywhere to get food or drink.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:29, Reply)

yeah there is, but i tend to be inn train stations etc at this point and they are chained up

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:31, Reply)

Get a pint instead you nonce.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:35, Reply)

the perfect morning drink before a meeting
I'm not Battered
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:37, Reply)

Guiness looks a bit like coffee

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:38, Reply)

It's technically a meal.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:40, Reply)

I've also never set foot in any of the chain coffee places except Nero.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 10 May 2013, 9:30, Reply)

It's crap coffee too.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:26, Reply)

Pret is complete tosh as well
Sandwiches are rubbish, theirs more so than most.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:26, Reply)

London must be pretty backwards if you never go into these places.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:28, Reply)

If they are even slightly brown-skinned or in any way foreign.
Alt: I like my muffins like I like my human beings: English.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:08, Reply)

Typical Scot.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:08, Reply)

NO REAL NAMES PLEASE

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:09, Reply)

When I was working in a pub we had pictures of people on the Pubwatch scheme
Which if you don't have it where you are means if you are banned from one pub you are banned from all pubwatch pubs. I noted that every person on the pubwatch had eyes that pointed down on the outer edges, sort of like Vincent Schiavelli had but not quite as extreme but most of the customers had eyes that pointed up or straight on the outer edge. So basically if you have droopy eyes you're scum and I won't trust you.

Alt, English Obviously.
( Peej, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:13, Reply)

Me in my Sunday best


Edit: FIXED
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:17, Reply)

Image fail.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:18, Reply)

Link fail
Try posting the picture and not the google images result
( Peej, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:18, Reply)

So Chinkies are barred for all Cornish pubs.
Who do you get your cheap knock off dvds from with that policy in place?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:18, Reply)

DVD players have yet to reach Cornwall.
They're still getting used to having electricity.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:19, Reply)

WITCH!

( Peej, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:20, Reply)

No not like Chinese, most Chinese eyes don't droop down anyway

( Peej, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:20, Reply)

except when they are sad

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:22, Reply)

lacist!

( Peej, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:41, Reply)

that still exists, and I think it's still the same 8 blokes and one scabby looking woman.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Fri 10 May 2013, 9:32, Reply)

English. None of that sugary colony shit thank you.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:15, Reply)

Weak handshakes.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:22, Reply)

^^ This ^^

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:26, Reply)

this is very true
I bet Tangle's is like holding a dead squid by the tentacles
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:26, Reply)

Haha I bet you're one of those pricks who goes in for the competetive handshake.
If you and Battered ever meet you'll end up arm-wrestling.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:30, Reply)

I'd win

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:32, Reply)

Nah, politely firm only.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:36, Reply)

Anything beyond that is just embarrassing.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:44, Reply)

Gordon Brown: very weak handshake
True story.
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 10 May 2013, 10:12, Reply)

Shifty eyes
Not looking at you when talking

Alt:
English please - with poached eggs, bacon and Hollandaise sauce
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:26, Reply)

I'm looking at you right now as i type to you
alt: YES!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:27, Reply)

This is why I like you, Ape

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:28, Reply)

type

wank
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:28, Reply)

Don't point THAT eye at me please

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:29, Reply)

*spaffs*
Too late. Stings doesn't it?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:47, Reply)

*Calls the Police*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:49, Reply)

Being a 'DJ'
Alt: English please
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 10 May 2013, 9:27, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1958438
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:30, Reply)

Yeah, Dozer is totally Razz Prince

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 10 May 2013, 10:13, Reply)

Hoodies & sweatpants
esp on wannabe gangstas.

alt: English, merkin food is mostly just artificial wrongness for fatties.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:29, Reply)

Ya get me?
Instant death times
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:36, Reply)

Rven more Dozer-bullying.

( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Fri 10 May 2013, 10:13, Reply)

I shall be bailing on friends tonight
Bailing on Star Trek tomorrow night and bailing on the doris on Sunday.

And you know what? I like American style muffins. There. I said it. Sometimes you get a fruity bit in the centre like a doughnut.
( Kroney, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:30, Reply)

Is this your bucket list?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:31, Reply)

I'm all at sea, sporto

( Kroney, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:31, Reply)

*sad faces*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:32, Reply)

If you aren't seeing friends this evening
You should come out with us instead.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:42, Reply)

Oh right, yeah
I'll also be bailing on internet shut-ins.
( Kroney, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:42, Reply)

You're bailing faster than an Italian sea-captain.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:44, Reply)

Or a British Olympic yachtsman in San Francisco

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:45, Reply)

O-o

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:47, Reply)

You're such an expert bailer
it's a shame you weren't in San Francisco yesterday with those sailing johnnies, mebbe that fellow would still be alive.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:49, Reply)

ANDREW MARR
In other news, emvees just posted again. Log out & entertain yourself eh?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:50, Reply)

Four whole minutes behind Battered.

( Kroney, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:50, Reply)

I spent so long searching for this Coffee sub-thread that everyone has moved on
Well I'm going to repost it anyway

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1889241
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Thank goodness you found it!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:50, Reply)

You're welcome TuiB

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:50, Reply)

I've since found out that Starbucks do filter coffee
so I just have that instead.
( Kroney, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:50, Reply)

coffee is awful, I thought I should tell someone before they make a mistake

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:51, Reply)

Most of the Coffee shops are full up of pretentious wankers.....
The only exception to the rule was Bettys est 1919 Tea rooms in York, very expensive but Quintessentially English
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:56, Reply)

tea rooms are full of pretentious pensioner wankers

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 10 May 2013, 10:13, Reply)

I don't like people who stab other people

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:50, Reply)

:(

(PsychoChomp, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:50, Reply)

Why do you have to be so judgemental?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:55, Reply)

I don' rust he I fella ha fixed the buon on my keyboard
Alt: You just keep your butter away from my muffins Chet
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 10 May 2013, 9:56, Reply)