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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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I have just enjoyed the opportunity of yelling BEWEGEN SIE JETZT! * at a load of Germans blocking the hotel entrance when I went for a cig.
I love the opportunity for random aggression at a load of foreigners.

When did you last get fucked off by a load of foreigns? Or are you one of those dull 'live and let live' passive types?



*. Move. Now.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:25, 154 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Last time I was in London
French students are the most ignorant cunty tourists on the planet. Yes, worse than Yanks, even.
I may have said something similar out loud, which caused the missus to momentarily disown me.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:29, Reply)
The other one I really enjoy is yelling MOVE at tourists standing in the left on tube escalators.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:31, Reply)
I fucking hate people who do that.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:36, Reply)
Then stand on the right, then I won't have to shout at you.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:37, Reply)
Like it says on the signs on every escalator

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:39, Reply)
yer, every escalator has a sign warning people about being shouted at by Battered

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:40, Reply)
This should be the case.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:47, Reply)
You know what I like to do?
Overtake people at exactly 70mph on dual carriageways.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:51, Reply)
GIVE UP SMOKING
it'll be the best thing you ever give baby batter(ed).
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:30, Reply)
Yes, because I can do that right now what with everything else going on.
you are quite right though and I will once everything has calmed down a bit

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:32, Reply)
Giving up is hellish for the first two weeks.
I stopped dead about a year ago. I'd been smoking since I was 12.

Using patches and gum and stuff just prolongs the actual stopping bit. Cold turkey worked for me, fuck knows if it will for you.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:36, Reply)
Been told not to do cold turkey as it may fuck with my head enough to make me have a seizure.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:37, Reply)
really?

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:39, Reply)
Yep.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:45, Reply)
actually the nicoteen works it's way out of your system very quickly
all subsequent cravings are purely mental.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:49, Reply)
Nah it's the other chemicals apparently.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:52, Reply)
just get an ecig for now

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:42, Reply)
Been trying those sporadically. Keep forgetting to charge them up.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:45, Reply)
get a proper one instead of them shitty ones that look like fags

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:03, Reply)
if he's allowed access

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:42, Reply)
Twice a day everyday plus longer at weekends and Skype everyday when away like now.
My estranged missus is being pretty fair about access, although she has said she will want to reduce it at some point.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:47, Reply)
oooh is skype part of the agreement or can people just skype anyway if they want

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:02, Reply)
Leeane looks dead fit when she's all fucked up on today's E4 epp.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:04, Reply)
shit i can't get it to stream

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:08, Reply)
gonna have to watch it tomorrow

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:09, Reply)
Look out for it. Not gonna step on your shoes though, I'm keeping Nancy

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:55, Reply)
fair play bro fair play

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:55, Reply)
There's no formal agreement. I'm in Poland for work, she's in the UK. Good way of maintaining contact with 20 month old baby

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:09, Reply)
i never know what to say to kids that age,
like what are their interests, i just end up making noises
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:13, Reply)
It can be good fun. Quite random conversations though

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:14, Reply)
haha yeh its dull to not get irritated at pointless shit

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:41, Reply)
anyone moving slowly can fuck off, drives me mad, GET OUT OF MY WAY
i may have been in Loindon too long...
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:47, Reply)
Rory has been evicted from the premises again, it appears.
What was his offence this time?
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:50, Reply)
really? how do you know?

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:50, Reply)
^ this ^

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:52, Reply)
He wasn't around to pour scorn on my outrageous geekery in the last thread.
I think that's proof enough.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:53, Reply)
By seeing a lot of posts disappear.
I'm right sharp, me.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:53, Reply)
In my (multiple) experiences of being stepped each time my posts that have caused the stepping have remained.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:55, Reply)
maybe they deleted his account

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:57, Reply)
He could have just 2.0'd yo ass.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:55, Reply)
His account is still there.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:57, Reply)
Can you see him?

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:04, Reply)

He's real?
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:09, Reply)
rory is dead, aw lives on

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:37, Reply)

I can't tell you how relieved I am.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:45, Reply)
The account's still active though.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:57, Reply)
MOVE DOWN THE CARRIAGE YOU FUCKING PRICKS

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 19:50, Reply)
Not a foreign.
But the Doris had a kitchen salesman round the other day, he'd been giving his pitch for a couple of hours when I tuned up.

Turns out I was quite rude to him, so I was told when we were in the pub long after. He'll be making another appointment if he wants to show his kitchen design and suggest a price.

He reckoned 3 hours was acceptable. I didn't.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:13, Reply)
tell him to get fucked

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:17, Reply)

Twice.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:20, Reply)
mexicans
they love fat white women
so I was groped several times at my friends birthday party where she'd invited a load of her coworkers
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:14, Reply)
i didn't know you were white

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:18, Reply)
I didn't know he was a woman

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:36, Reply)

He was blind, yeah?
You're just big boned.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:18, Reply)
In the way that an Airbus 380 is big boned.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:19, Reply)

Fuselage bebbe.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:20, Reply)
aero click

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:21, Reply)

Chocolate snacks will not help.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:23, Reply)
Hahahahahahaha

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:41, Reply)
it's not fat
it's power
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:25, Reply)

*backs away slowly*
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:27, Reply)
it's a movie line
I'm not crazy
I SWEAR
/leaves the internet forever
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:28, Reply)

Come back Kwistine, I knows yer not kwazy.

Just chunky. Maybe.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:33, Reply)
sometimes she's a little crazy

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:39, Reply)
But mostly, she's a massive great big hefty crazy.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:53, Reply)
that's no way to talk about your wife

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:00, Reply)
Bloody hell Nakers, that's of TTT standard, that is.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:07, Reply)
WTN

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:11, Reply)
Verging on WTS territory.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:17, Reply)
Aggadoo.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:36, Reply)
doo

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:43, Reply)
doo

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:45, Reply)
is this it?

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:49, Reply)
you two are a right pair of gay cunts

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:50, Reply)
we're gonna clam joust later

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:51, Reply)
* lubes up *

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:52, Reply)
you sicken me

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:00, Reply)
You love it.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:01, Reply)
Aggadon't.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:43, Reply)
I like all foreign peoples,
they're lovely and fluffy, I want to teach thw whole world to sing in harmony. Loud students are the ones who annoy me.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 20:53, Reply)
can you all be better please?

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:05, Reply)
shit the fuck off

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:06, Reply)
I doubt it.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:06, Reply)
you're the worst of the fucking lot

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:08, Reply)
Alright Dozer.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:09, Reply)
alright Pookmaster B

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:09, Reply)
Shakes my funky white ass.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:10, Reply)
How's it hanging?

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:10, Reply)
I'd always assumed that I dress to the left
But when I checked, turns out I dress to the right.

I was amazed.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:17, Reply)
lets talk about your genitals.
That'll be nice.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:21, Reply)
well you did ask how it's hanging.
To the right.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:25, Reply)
It was in the "how's it going" manner, not what your tallywhacker is up to.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:32, Reply)
then you should be more precise

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:38, Reply)
Gaz him a pic, just to be sure

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:40, Reply)
already on it.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:47, Reply)
I apologise Dozer.
From the bottom of my heart.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:40, Reply)
Dunno I've 2.0ed myself so I don't have to read this drivel.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:10, Reply)
Good girl.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:11, Reply)
Bored.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:49, Reply)
so's your wife

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:52, Reply)
She gets plenty of entertainment while he's working

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:55, Reply)
Battered is fucking Mrs Ape while Nakers here is at work.
'Poland' is just a cover story.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:59, Reply)
He's a scamp.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:03, Reply)
He's a violent sex offender.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:05, Reply)
she is at thye theatre so this is very possible

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:06, Reply)
I think you've replied to the wrong post here.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:08, Reply)
a metaphor for his whole life

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:10, Reply)
So';s your pets.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 21:58, Reply)
I'm off for a takeaway, and sleep.
A combination of loud students talking about their gap year in Tanzania, and the Smiths on the jukebox have destroyed this night,
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:12, Reply)
evening.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:22, Reply)
Where the hell have you been?
Leaving me here alone with these pricks.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:24, Reply)
Evenin' Duppers and WP
Wassup?
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:28, Reply)
Not a lot, by the looks of things.
Alright Cap
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:31, Reply)
alright placid.
Alright tangle.

I've went to see a possible new dog today. Trying to decide what to watch with my beer and smoke now ladypig has gone to bed.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:34, Reply)
I are mostly drinking tea...
...and practicing an acoustic version of 'Boys of summer'.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:39, Reply)
sounds alright.
I've put on a documentary but have little interest in it.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:41, Reply)
I can't decide whether to have a joint or go to bed.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:41, Reply)
joint in bed.
I miss that, stupid no smoking in the house rule. Although I don't miss my entire life smelling of ash tray.
But there was always a certain joy in waking up, and the first thing I do is light up the end of the night before spliff.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:43, Reply)
I always used to love a last one in bed too

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:46, Reply)
we getting old tanglo

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:50, Reply)
Never

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:52, Reply)
Pah!
Pair of young whippersnappers
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:53, Reply)
Winders is about half your age

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:55, Reply)
placid is not 50 odd.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:57, Reply)
I'm going to show my age now
I'm off to bed. G'night all.

Edit - I'm 52
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:57, Reply)
I'M EXACTLY HALF YOUR AGE WHEN I HAVE MY NEXT BIRTHDAY.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:59, Reply)
You'd better have it quick - I'm 53 at the end of the month

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 23:00, Reply)
awwwww, we'll never be half age buddies. :(

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 23:03, Reply)
I was just in Brighton for a week
and had two foreigners ask me to take pictures of them. One of them specifically wanted pictures of their feet. Reprehensible.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:47, Reply)
Alright Amberl
Been a while
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:51, Reply)
Alright tangled
it has indeed. Been well?
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:52, Reply)
I certainly have.
What you been up to, apart from photographing people's feet?
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:54, Reply)
Not much at all
job searching etc. It's been a quiet time.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:58, Reply)
Still not found anything? That sucks
Don't give up.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 23:02, Reply)
Did some bits and pieces
and made it onto a law conversion course in September so things are looking up thankfully! Also managed to get a ton of writing done in my enforced time off anything useful.

What are you up to these days?
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 23:06, Reply)
I released a record
But I've beakered about that on here quite enough, I think.
Otherwise same old business of work and family life.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 23:10, Reply)
What have you been writing?

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 23:10, Reply)
I missed all beakering on the subject
but I hope it went well! Bit of fiction, probably won't go anywhere but it was good to get it down on paper.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 23:37, Reply)
serves you right for talking to foreigners in the first place

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:52, Reply)
I should've known better :(
next time it's the cold stare.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:53, Reply)
cold as ice?

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:56, Reply)
even colder
like some sort of dry ice. They'll be lucky to escape with their feet.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 23:00, Reply)
this is funny as the band foreigner did a song called this.
I'd like to be on the popular page please lurkers. If you don't mind.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 23:01, Reply)
I've clicked it because I like you
But I'll be honest, I'm aware of the song and it wasn't that funny.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 23:06, Reply)
I know, it was a poor effort, but considering the actual funny stuff I posted today didn't make, I've resorted to begging.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 23:09, Reply)
These pricks just don't appreciate funny posts.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 23:11, Reply)
pricks to a man.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 23:12, Reply)
rancid shithole full of queers

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:56, Reply)
Nah, Amberl's alright

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:57, Reply)
I am slow tonight.

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:58, Reply)
what about Brighton?

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 22:57, Reply)
fuck i hate this making out like being gay is fine its not

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 23:06, Reply)
I saw 2 blokes holding hands on town today. just wandering about.
Seems alright to me.
(, Wed 15 May 2013, 23:09, Reply)
yeh thats what they want

(, Wed 15 May 2013, 23:18, Reply)

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