Battered is a tedious cunt. Discuss
Alt: Daley Thompson was good at lots of field events. Discus

What is your standard 'photo-face' ? Does it differ if you're muntered? Have you ever done the 'trout-pout'?

Tell me what's a healthy lunch cos I'm a fatty-boom-batty innit
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 28 May 2013, 10:52, 117 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

There was more to Daley than the discus.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 28 May 2013, 10:53, Reply)

Question
Who the fuck are you? I've lost track now
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 10:53, Reply)

Tangles has a spreadsheet he can loan you

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 28 May 2013, 10:55, Reply)

Haha see below.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 10:55, Reply)

It's our old friend 'Jim Carrey'
Who Monty maintains is Al.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 10:55, Reply)

Ta

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 10:56, Reply)

Monty should stick to his Red Dwarf fanzine
He couldn't detect a disturbance in the force with his tongue up Alec Guiness' butthole
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:00, Reply)

Haha, yeah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:02, Reply)

Whatever happened to myspace-type shots?

( Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 28 May 2013, 10:54, Reply)

I dont have the tits for them

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 10:56, Reply)

Pull the udder one.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 10:57, Reply)

My wife said she's "not sure" if she'll be home for lunch
So I don't know whether to plan something or not. My life is so fucking hard sometimes.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:03, Reply)

Make lunch anyway
If she comes back with more lunch, you get two lunches.
( Frisbee OG wanker, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:04, Reply)

Hmm, the old "double dejeuner" scam, eh?
It's just crazy enough to work....
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:06, Reply)

By 'plan something' do you mean prepare food, or are you thinking of something more along the lines of waiting naked, save for a spinning light-up bow-tie?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:05, Reply)

I am now!!!!

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:06, Reply)

Post pics pls

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:09, Reply)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:09, Reply)

"REACHARAAAAAND!"

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:12, Reply)

LUDICROUS
He has more hair than I do
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:17, Reply)

Why not make something which will keep if she doesn't make it?
Perhaps a soup or stew?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:06, Reply)

Or a chowder or a bisque?

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:08, Reply)

See, now you're thinking on your feet!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:10, Reply)

or a chilli or a curry?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:11, Reply)

chowder while wearing a basque?

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:35, Reply)

Why not just get her to make her own lunch?
She's probably having an affair anyway.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:19, Reply)

Because I'll make something, then she'll come in and make something better
Then I'll regret having something shit, when I could've just waited.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:20, Reply)

phone her up and ask her if she were to make it home exactly what she would have and how to prepare it

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:35, Reply)

What if she is the one who always lies?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:53, Reply)

Stop! Hammer Time

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:14, Reply)

Hammer Time ... Carry on
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:16, Reply)

*biggidy-biggidy-bongs*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:21, Reply)

www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3326317/
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:00, Reply)

I have a variety of different facial expressions.
All of them identical.
( Kroney, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:19, Reply)

identical.

ugly.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:19, Reply)

First swipe, now you.
I'm going to get a complex. Think maybe I'll just concentrate on work, today :(
( Kroney, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Is that a sad face or your concentrating face?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:23, Reply)

Shouldn't that be.....
,/8(

that's a berray on top.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:33, Reply)

No doubt you're alluding to my military career, here.

( Kroney, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:35, Reply)

Deffo, I didn't know you were in the military, but thats deffo it.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:13, Reply)

He ain't got no alibi

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:21, Reply)

I look terrible in photos, just photos I swear, my mum said so

( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:29, Reply)

Sometimes I wish usernames were at the top of posts,
So I could easily avoid all your nonsense nakers. But as you asked. A healthy lunch can be anything, as long as it has the balance of nutrients and calories and so forth that you need for your daily life. You're a fatty because you've taken in more than your body burns off by sitting bon your arse all day occasionally having a lazy wank and a short walk to the toilet for your chronic diarrhoea.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 28 May 2013, 11:36, Reply)

^ This guy gets it

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:37, Reply)

psssssstttttttttttttttt
I don't think that this is Nakers
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:37, Reply)

Really?
He just goes through so many name changes I just assume anyone with a daft name is him.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 28 May 2013, 11:39, Reply)

It's been many on here including "Montys Ex" and "Battered's wife" Im sure others will spring to mind
The current thinking is it's one of Al's sock accounts
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:41, Reply)

You're no 'Sherlock Tangles' that's for fucking sure

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:44, Reply)

or Sherlock Homo, as I like to call him.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:46, Reply)

Curse you, Moriarty, always one step ahead.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:48, Reply)

The required amount of effort to work out whose sock is who’s is not really worth the dividend
But you strike me more of Wilf than Al
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:57, Reply)

Who is Wilf?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:59, Reply)

YOU ARE

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:00, Reply)

Blummen nora, am I?
I'm sure if I trust your opinion Spazticus
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:04, Reply)

Wilf is a crybaby post deleter
Yep you have the same style
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:06, Reply)

You're thinking of someone else
Had you the wits about you you'd have realised this earlier.
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:08, Reply)

Thats exactly what Wilf would say

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:11, Reply)

Oh...seems logical. *searches for petard*

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:24, Reply)

Did you take your Lithium twice today?
Time for a lie down, I think.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:35, Reply)

I'm getting confused with all the name changing.
I am having trouble keeping track of Rory and Nakers, but I don't think this is Nakers.
( Kroney, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:39, Reply)

I just memorise everyone's user number, 4602.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:40, Reply)

I bet the days pass like ice ages.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:41, Reply)

Stunned poster... how was tenting?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:42, Reply)

Thankfully dry. Skipped Friday night and went Saturday.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:58, Reply)

I now have a mental image of you, Battered and Monty skipping hand in hand through a field of Daises

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:59, Reply)

I'd like to make it clear that this did NOT happen.
Our hands were too busy holding containers of booze.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:23, Reply)

You're not doing yourself any favours here

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:29, Reply)

I am in stasis until poster 44745 turns up

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:45, Reply)

i have quite a good one, 22005
if i'd just been 5 people quicker...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:47, Reply)

.... or 22,004 people quicker
..... or not signed up at all

no more smart-arse comments left, hah.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:47, Reply)

Now bring me the prisoner 4602
Your time is up
And your parole is due
You know what that means.

Yes! It means I'm free

No!
It means you get
Your yellow ticket-of-leave
You are a thief
( Kroney, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:46, Reply)

Well, I for one welcome our new poster and hope it brings great things to this great forum.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Tue 28 May 2013, 11:43, Reply)

this is al

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:44, Reply)

Why do people keep calling me Al?
They don't even have the common fucking courtesy to be my bodyguard
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:46, Reply)

MARRguard

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:46, Reply)

something something cunt something

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:46, Reply)

*gazes into the abyss*

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:47, Reply)

I give this whole thing a sphincter-factor of about nine point five

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:53, Reply)

Sniff something? Well did you, rat boy?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:56, Reply)

Thanks "Betty"

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:46, Reply)

my middle name's elizabeth
but that doesn't mean i want to call you a cunt
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:48, Reply)

Ugly Betty
ha ha ha
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:49, Reply)

^ This oven glove prick from Sheffield gets it

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:50, Reply)

Or is it
oven glove musty anus

I forget
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:51, Reply)

it's like a very tiny little pot calling the kettle black

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:03, Reply)

My Mam, Grandma and daughter are all called Elizabeth

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:51, Reply)

called Elizabeth the same person
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:52, Reply)

I'm not from Norfolk

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:53, Reply)

Take a deep breath and count to 12 you could use your fingers

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 28 May 2013, 11:59, Reply)

+on one webbed hand

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:27, Reply)

Must make things easier incase you call the wrong name out in bed.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:13, Reply)

Calls ZING
Thanks for voting for reply 1975299!

Close Window
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:14, Reply)

rofl

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:23, Reply)

i just got a spam email trying to flog me a walk-in bath
how do those things work? how does the water not go everywhere? does the coffin-dodger get in first, and the bath fills around them? or is it a REALLY shallow bath?

HOWWWWWWW?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:19, Reply)

ask Monty

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:22, Reply)

he WAS looking for ideas for his 40th...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:23, Reply)

+bath

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:24, Reply)

monty
moooooonty. the rancid smelling northerner is implying you don't wash...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:25, Reply)

this^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:26, Reply)

Think you have to get in first then put water in?
Door probably opens inwards or something to help seal it with water pressure.

Did they offer you the deluxe version with the built in fork-lift?
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:22, Reply)

hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:23, Reply)

what are you laughing at, butthairmunch?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:24, Reply)

Not even in my top ten Care Bears

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:26, Reply)

you're like the manky old blue one

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:29, Reply)

You dirty deleter you!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:29, Reply)

that was a better reply!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:29, Reply)

My reply reply was!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:30, Reply)

no pics

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:36, Reply)

Start a new thread please

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:38, Reply)

alright, done!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:41, Reply)

lol old

( Kroney, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:27, Reply)

lol leper

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:34, Reply)

le per

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:34, Reply)

It's not my fault that you've been demographically targetted.

( Kroney, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:35, Reply)

it's that dumbass in the states who uses my email address for everything
i got about 50 videos of her stupid 50th birthday party over the weekend
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:36, Reply)

bored of this now.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 28 May 2013, 12:32, Reply)