OK you can kill one person currently alive on earth, with impunity.
Who do you kill and why?

Please note: Piers Morgan, Simon Cowell, some musician you don't like etc is a fucking dull and shit answer.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:37, 103 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

My answer is Gary Rhodes.
My reason, 'I find him a bit annoying'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:39, Reply)

He sure can belt out the four seasons though

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:49, Reply)

clickin dis

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:51, Reply)

It's my favourite pizza

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:15, Reply)

Sandi Toksvig.
There is something really quite sinister about her. Not sure what it is, but I have a complete loathing of her nonetheless.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:40, Reply)

She has never been seen in the same room and at the same time as Clive Anderson.
MAKE OF THAT WHAT YOU WILL.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:41, Reply)

*QI KLAXON*
I make of it a load of bollocks
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:44, Reply)

I was hoping someone would make something nice.
like, I don't know, a scale model of the Eiffel Tower or something. This is a bit disappointing, I can't lie.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:46, Reply)

Yes you can, you did it right here:
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1979828
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:48, Reply)

OK maybe I should rephrase it
'I can and frequently do lie out of my fucking arse'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:50, Reply)

I don't believe you

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:53, Reply)

You can't trust a word this guy says.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:54, Reply)

Pssst, hey, shhh, over here.

Magic beans, mate?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:02, Reply)

Magic, you say?
How much?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:03, Reply)

Now, the amount I'm going to tell you *seems* a lot,
but let me explain my 'price structure'......
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:05, Reply)

They both look like that juggler prick on Britains Got Talent
I've always disliked Vanessa Feltz but not sure it's enough to warrant death.
Who would I hate then?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:46, Reply)

Dude, I'm straight - I've never seen 'Britain's Got Talent'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:50, Reply)

*kisses teeth*

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:51, Reply)

are you a south london "gangster"?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:52, Reply)

+ not a frightful commoner sat on my leatheret couch on a saturday night filling my greasy maw with buckets of fried chicken

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:52, Reply)

+ then wiping it on what I believe is called a 'serviette'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:54, Reply)

+ before looking out of my UPVC windows

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:56, Reply)

^ this guy gets it!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:02, Reply)

NOT ANY MORE!!!!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 31 May 2013, 12:02, Reply)

oh HO!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:05, Reply)

OOoooooooffffffffffffff

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:09, Reply)

Yes she has
www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b016yv1k
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:07, Reply)

I'm gonna shock you now....it was a "joke"

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:08, Reply)

www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1979855
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:12, Reply)

It's her slightly hunched posture and pretty much lack of anything that even resembles a neck, I think.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 31 May 2013, 12:02, Reply)

I'm gonna say...Battered

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:45, Reply)

Obvious post is obvious.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:47, Reply)

cunt is a cunt

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:48, Reply)

I'll probably select someone at random when the mood takes me - no motive, no connection back to me.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:53, Reply)

Works for me

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:55, Reply)

Well you;re wlecome to do that but the point is you can execute someone in full public view and still not get done for it.
It's just a little game here: I cannot *actually* grant immunity from prosecution for murder here. Just in case you misunderstood me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:00, Reply)

Woah hold on a minute
Why didn't you say so before?
What the fuck am I going to do with this body?
Fuck.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:01, Reply)

Hi Windy!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:05, Reply)

I don't know how I'm going to drag this one to another pub in broad daylight.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:06, Reply)

Lucky you don't have distinctive long red hai....oh shit.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:07, Reply)

Santa Claus
Just so loads of kids get up early on Christmas day for nothing. That'll teach 'em.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 31 May 2013, 11:56, Reply)

Little cunts - turn down *my* sexual advances will you?
Well HA HA regretting it now eh?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:00, Reply)

I hope you're regretting this thread.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:02, Reply)

There are other things I regret more tbh

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:03, Reply)

For example, contrary to popular opinion, I really, really regret 'rien'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:06, Reply)

I approve of this finely crafted gag, and look forward to hearing more

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:29, Reply)

What a load of piaf

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:06, Reply)

edithn't like that

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:08, Reply)

The Queen with Charles* stood behind her
Not that I have anything against her but let’s try to breathe some new life into our monarchy, we need some new blood

*Charles needs winging enough to make him incapable to take the crown
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:07, Reply)

*watches as tumbleweed drifts by*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:15, Reply)

I'm a lovely person so I wouldn't killl anyone
And if we get onto torture there are just way too many politicians for me to narrow it down.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:17, Reply)

Drummer Lee Rigby.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:21, Reply)

YESSSS

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:09, Reply)

christ our new browser is annoying
i have to type the full address in and then log-in every single time. and you're ALL blue-namers.

i have two guys on the other side at the moment. mr bottom and mr payne. i really think they should hyphenate that. secondly, mr bottom's full name is rob bottom. not good.

i would kill............... bill gates. but only after the geeky cunt changed his will in my favour.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:28, Reply)

I'll kill myself or die trying

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:28, Reply)

my answer is a girl I went to high school with, called Sheridan..
biggest bitch I ever met. Made it her mission to make my life as miserable and painful as she possibly could. Highlights include spreading vicious rumours regarding things that had happened, turning me out of "the group", and making sure that any other group attempting to be friendly was quickly taught the error of their ways.

I'm not bitter at all
(Poppet some assembly required., Fri 31 May 2013, 12:40, Reply)

It's got this bad here poppet
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1979885
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:47, Reply)

My first thought was Rupert Murdoch
but to be truly effective I would also have to travel back about 30 years minimum.
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:52, Reply)

Just shoot Old Biff Murdoch before he steals the Delorean and gives the Sports Almanac to Rupert in the past

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:00, Reply)

So we're not allowed famous people
but if we say each other it just gets predictably dull, quickly resorting to "YM"

and if we say anyone the rest of the board doesn't know it's even duller

NICE
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 May 2013, 12:58, Reply)

Darth *Nods*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:03, Reply)

I KILL YOU

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:01, Reply)

SILENCE

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:02, Reply)

INFIDEL

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:05, Reply)

www.jancisrobinson.com/articles/20071209_1.html
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:13, Reply)

Wow an empty blog page that'll get people talking

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:23, Reply)

? the whole Zinfandel thing ?????

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:27, Reply)

I do like the Ravenswood

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:40, Reply)

Wow what the fuck are you on about?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:45, Reply)

I can't tell if I've dropped by at a bad time
or if the place has gone to the dogs in my absence

Or, much more likely, you've all gone quiet in the hope that if no-one talks to me I'll fuck right off again
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:08, Reply)

You was the good time that was had by all

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:09, Reply)

good time glove
(Bazongaloid, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:10, Reply)

Al *nods*

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:11, Reply)

It's been a slow week
Possibly exacerbated by people dropping in, seeing it's quiet and not bothering to post.
I'm basically saying it is your fault.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:11, Reply)

I'M POSTING NOW AREN'T I
*thinks of something to say*

Give me a minute alright
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:15, Reply)

Soooooooo....
this weather, eh?

Cricket's not going very well...

Um

Aha! Got it! Al's a cunt!
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:17, Reply)

I think you've broken it.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:20, Reply)

No, it's always had that bend in it
Means I can paint it yellow and hide in a fruit bowl impersonating a banana
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:24, Reply)

Whoever decided it was a great idea for Queen's "Seven Seas of Rhye" to devolve into a singalong at the end
Although I'm guessing I may be 23 years too late
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:19, Reply)

One of their better 'numbers' on the whole, I always thought.
Mind you, at one point I thought Van Halen weren't utter toss so perhaps you shouldn't listen to me eh.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:22, Reply)

No one does.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:22, Reply)

does what?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:23, Reply)

Doesn't matter.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:23, Reply)

to you?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:23, Reply)

One of my favourites
which is why that utter bollocks at the end frustrates me. Even worse than the "fried chicken" nonsense.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:25, Reply)

I had 2 massive pulled pork enchiladas for lunch now I feel really fat an sleepy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:20, Reply)

Is there nothing they can't do with 'pulled pork' nowadays?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:22, Reply)

You could burn off some calories by starting a new thread

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:22, Reply)

You could burn off some calories playing blind mans bluff on the M6

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:25, Reply)

Worst of all the squares in Battleship

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:26, Reply)

Hey are any of you Londons meeting Theobandontherun tomorrow?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:23, Reply)

I wasn't invited

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:23, Reply)

It's on the calendar, which is pretty much an open invitation to any weirdo off of the internet to rock up and be weird.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:24, Reply)

I funt read the calendar
I have my own social life
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:26, Reply)

He's gone awol innit

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:24, Reply)

awol ferral
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:25, Reply)

Where is that? I don't know London that well

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:25, Reply)

Paradise Club, SW1 YOU IDIOT
www.fantazia.org.uk/orgs/awol.htm
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:27, Reply)

That the one that Leslie Grantham and Don Henderson run?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:29, Reply)

I...I think so.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:29, Reply)

Sorry, I'm just going to test which direction the wind is blowing, just a sec

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:30, Reply)

Darth's here, everybody!

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:25, Reply)

If ONLY I could work that outift, darling
Not with my complexion. Washes me out. And that haircut? Er, hello? Oasis called, they want their follicles back.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Fri 31 May 2013, 13:33, Reply)