Morning all
I went to a lovely country pub for lunch yesterday and bumped into my old art teacher and his wife, at 79 he’s still got the sense of humour that made him one of the most liked teachers.
When did you last run into someone you haven’t seen for donkeys years?

Alt: Nakers has gone to Morocco for a week, I can’t help but think he will end up in Syria helping to bring down the government thinking he’s on a paintballing trip. When did you last do something stupid whilst on holiday?

Alt:alt: I need a break :(
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 7:45, 122 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I've recently got back in touch with one of my oldest and best friends
Back in the day we got up to all manner of illicit nonsense. Recently we've gone fishing and talked about trying out for a village cricket team.

I'm old.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 8:36, Reply)

Nah, Monty is old and he still indulges in all manner of illicit nonsense.
You're just boring.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 8:46, Reply)

Surely there must be a happy medium somewhere shy of going "full Monty"

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 8:56, Reply)

Mystic Meg never really was that cheerful

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:07, Reply)

Morning.
Apparently NEW WHO is going to be a person of colour or EVEN a woman.
I am shocked.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 8:36, Reply)

Paterson Jospeh would make a superb Doctor
Even if he has got his name on backwards
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 8:40, Reply)

As would Idris Elba

(PsychoChomp, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 8:43, Reply)

That is an excellent call
I think we'd all love to see a Doctor who could actually smash a Cyberman's face in. Or just persuade the Daleks that he was not to be fucked with by being unbelievably cool.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 8:45, Reply)

Why does Edris Elba's name get linked with every acting part going?
wasn't he alson linked with being the new Bond?
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 8:47, Reply)

Because everyone loved the wire and he was one of the best ones on it.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 8:48, Reply)

They was on about the New Doctor on the BBC website other names were Helen Miram and John Hurt

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 8:52, Reply)

There's a reason why John Hurt's been referenced though
I really doubt they'll give us a female Doctor.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 8:56, Reply)

That's the big question at the proctology clinic.

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 8:59, Reply)

Hands up if you like Dr Who
No, WAIT!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:08, Reply)

Lee Mack would make a great Dr Who.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:11, Reply)

Womack and Wo Lee
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:12, Reply)

Wasn't he in an earlier episode?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:50, Reply)

Rusty Lee

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 8:47, Reply)

She could have Anneka Rice and Mad Lizzie as sidekicks

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 8:54, Reply)

hahahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:07, Reply)

Grace Jones

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:16, Reply)

Sympathy required.
I've hurt my back.

I've taken the day off and everything.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 8:48, Reply)

Poor Jeffers

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 8:51, Reply)

Voltarol Emulgel is your friend here

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:07, Reply)

That sounds like a Bulgarian footballer
or a Harry Potter villain
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:11, Reply)

DO NOT SPEAK HIS NAME!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:12, Reply)

Cut it off

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:12, Reply)

I literally bumped into a mate I'd not seen for 10 years walking out of Bradford station
He wasn't watching where he was going

Alt:
Holidays are all about drinking beer in the sun

AltAlt:
I've had a cracking weekend and finally killed my old shed
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:11, Reply)

Looks like progress is being made, Is the kitchen and bathroom finished as well?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:13, Reply)

Bathroom - done
Kitchen - in and tiled now. Just need to do skirting boards then flooring down and paint then whole house (double glazing apart) is finished
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:14, Reply)

An old friend came in the pub on the weekend.
We had a nice catch up, and then his mate vomited on the sofa. Not great.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:12, Reply)

Didn't you have the weekend off?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:18, Reply)

I did,
I wasn't working. I am allowed in pubs other than the one I work in.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Mon 3 Jun 2013, 10:00, Reply)

Played cricket on Saturday and on the other team was a guy who I used to play cricket with 20+ years ago.
We were both teenagers when we last saw each other. Now we're both grey-haired with kids. Fucksake.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:26, Reply)

Can I threadjack to get some opinions?
My dear daughter has spent half term saying things like "My teacher says God is everywhere" and "My teacher says God is in us all" so I sent a carefully worded email to the school naming no names just asking if the school has any religious affiliations as we were under the impression they didn't and we didn't think it appropriate for a teacher to teach that any one religion is real as there are 21 major world religions and we don't believe in any of them.

They have emailed back asking me to name names but I am not sure I am comfortable doing so, I just want them to clarify whether or not they are a daft school full of invisible sky wizard worshipers.

What would jesus you do?
( Peej, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:30, Reply)

YM.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:32, Reply)

She's free next friday
But she's not fat sorry.
( Peej, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:48, Reply)

I wouldn't worry about it.
Trying to stop your child from learning about peoples ideas of religion is doomed to fail, just teach her sarcastic responses.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:33, Reply)

"does god watch me in the bathroom?"
"when my creepy uncle does that I'm supposed to report him"
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:37, Reply)

Your creepy uncle is probably a servant of the lord

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:39, Reply)

this^
Religious Education is taught in all schools
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:37, Reply)

All our RE teachers were tremendous god botherers, which meant it was just Christian Education

(Bazongaloid, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:39, Reply)

It's the complete opposite nowdays, at my sons school they can't even mention Christmas
in case it upsets someone.
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:40, Reply)

I don't believe you.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:41, Reply)

???? OK

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:49, Reply)

Yeah, they call it Winterval don't they, in case it upsets the gays.
Bloody Health and Safety gone mad.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:41, Reply)

Again, not bothered about religious education
I am bothered that the teacher is telling our kid that her own beliefs are the correct ones
( Peej, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:43, Reply)

Has she not asked you what you believe?
I explained it to my son along the lines of some people believe this, but I don't.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:45, Reply)

No
Thats whats bothering me, because we have told her not to worry as there is no God and explained why some people believe. But this week she is saying "My teacher says......" and "My Teacher doesn't lie"
( Peej, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:46, Reply)

I don't have a problem with her learning about religions
We taught her about different religions and what they do at Christmas. I just don't like a teacher telling her God is real. Kids believe their teachers.
( Peej, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:42, Reply)

Just keep telling Annakin that particular teacher told you privately that they thought Annakin was a cunt
and that they should therefore disbelieve everything that comes out of their mouth.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:46, Reply)

Hmmmm but then she won't believe the stuff that is real
Like the Earth is flat and gays are immoral.
( Peej, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:47, Reply)

Name names, Peej.
It's the only way thay'll learn to keep their opinions to themselves.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:51, Reply)

Most schools tend to sneak a bit of Jesus in somewhere.
What annoys me is that when learning about religion they never seem to cover atheism.
You could buy your daughter this: www.amazon.com/books/dp/1451675046
But I wouldn't really worry about it - kids tend to grow up believing what you believe.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:40, Reply)

Ask the school for the proof that Jeebus is everywhere and if they aren't able to provide it
Request that they stop teaching it.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Yeh but the trouble there is I can't prove that it wasn't me that committed all those murder rapes
But it doesn't mean they didn't happen.
( Peej, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:53, Reply)

Yes yes good morning
I'm in the office for the first time in about 2 months. Feels weird.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:37, Reply)

Twoey \o/
if it feels weird stop touching it
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:38, Reply)

But it makes my bottom tingle :)))

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:38, Reply)

Then you're doing it wrong

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:51, Reply)

If this is wrong, I don't wanna be right

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:55, Reply)

haha

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 10:02, Reply)

Morning
I'm working from home today as I have the washing machine repairman coming. However he'd been and gone by 9:20 so now I'm wondering if I should go into the office this afternoon.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:42, Reply)

Let the weather decide
If it's nice, do a skive.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:43, Reply)

dude it's fucking glorious up here today

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:46, Reply)

Its fucking great oop north too
Proper nice day, its not even snowing much
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Here too
Has been for days. I don't normally get on with the warm weather, but I'm digging it this year.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:48, Reply)

go in now you Placid mo'fuckah

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:44, Reply)

Ah, the old machine machine repair man eh....
I'll bet you paid the extra for the Swedish one called Sven who had a massive tool.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:46, Reply)

Hey...I have come to fixsh your pipesh

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:49, Reply)

I was having difficulty getting it hot
he soon fixed that!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:56, Reply)

I just took my kid to school for the first time.
I ent even lyin bruv I shed a tear or two. That was a really big deal for me.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:43, Reply)

I have an entirely child-free day today...I also shed a tear.
:)
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:44, Reply)

I never thought I'd ever get to do it

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:45, Reply)

Yeah, that's brilliant
Are you collecting her too?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:46, Reply)

nah but I had her pretty much all weekend

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Sweet
Good weekend to have her, too.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:50, Reply)

*sobs*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:47, Reply)

How lovely.
Are you late for work now?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:47, Reply)

hugely but boss is fine with it

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:50, Reply)

I suppose with you out of the office for a couple of hours
It'll save them from having one of their Amazon fire sales that they hadn't planned for.

Everyone wins.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:52, Reply)

:o(

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 10:09, Reply)

You should just blow it off this morning, head on up to Barnet and we'll have a sandwich and a coffee.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:53, Reply)

Deafening silence.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:55, Reply)

No wifi in Barnet

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:57, Reply)

Oh no, we're all quite whiffy in Barnet, we don't have mains water yet.

(Bazongaloid, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:57, Reply)

I hate him, he builds me up and then he knocks me down :(

(Bazongaloid, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:57, Reply)

I'd love to - but I have two off sick (just got in) so v busy today.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 10:07, Reply)

When you say school
you of course mean the bit just outside the 200m exclusion zone that you aren't allowed to go beyond... and then waved solemnly.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:57, Reply)

Nah bruv str8 in there
It was only when I starting wanking and singing 'the wheels on the bus' in a creepy falsetto that they asked me to leave.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 10:09, Reply)

I remember taking my sprog to school the first time
It was wonderful. Its a shit hassle chore type thing now but it was great the first time.
( Peej, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 9:58, Reply)

I was cryin like a pusseh

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 10:08, Reply)

Awwww wee lamb

( Peej, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 10:11, Reply)

I'm saying no more on the subject to protect my rep as an Internet Tough Guy.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 10:15, Reply)

Awwwwwwww, you know she's gonna get bullied for having a batty-boy dad who cries at the school gate.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 10:20, Reply)

Nah mate I also shanked a couple of people, just in case

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 10:38, Reply)

Hah, make someone a bitch on your first day.... iniit.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 10:54, Reply)

Uhhh probably when I went home just after my birthday.
Saw my history teacher who pushed me into working hard for what I want.

altalt: I need a break too. desperately.
(Poppet some assembly required., Mon 3 Jun 2013, 10:27, Reply)

I done a new thread

(PsychoChomp, Mon 3 Jun 2013, 10:28, Reply)