I wasn't paying attention this morning and got on the wrong bus
when has your lack of attention to detail got you into trouble? Or are you super organised and on top of everything at all times?

alt: tell us about your collection of "comedy" t-shirts

altalt: Decent manly salad recipes for this hot weather please
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:02, 101 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

"manly salad"?

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:04, Reply)

you know, one with meat in it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:07, Reply)

Still not quite understanding, old boy.
Do you mean sausages?
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:08, Reply)

yeah, a sausage salad is what I'm looking for
or friday night round Geordie Jay's place.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:10, Reply)

You will need:
- chorizo
- bacon
- pulled pork
- lard
- beer

Method:
- stuff it all in your fat craw
- myocardial infarction
- die
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:10, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ItAzJD0o9NQ
( CQ Knows the truth, all of it., Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:08, Reply)

Hells Bells

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:06, Reply)

Alt: Mrs tangle once bought me this t-shirt



Which is possibly mildly amusing if you are Keith Richards wearing it.
But I'm not, so it wasn't.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:08, Reply)

My wife left me a note "Drop the kids off at Bob's and meet me for dinner xxx"
My lack of attention to detail lead to me dropping the kids off at Rob's! THEY HAVEN@T STOPPED CRYING SINCE!
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:08, Reply)

Hi Rory

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:09, Reply)

Hi Al

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:10, Reply)

I've handed over the spreadsheet to swipe
She's in charge of this investigation now.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:14, Reply)

there was just one little word that gave rory away this time

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:15, Reply)

Show your workings

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:17, Reply)

yer
it is a totally rory word

as seen here:

Yer, she admitted to having knock knees
Or so Al The Deleter informed me
(Reginald Donkeyfuck he's such a prince, Thu 27 Jun, 16:42, More)
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:17, Reply)

but I ent used that word
EDIT: Oh yeah
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:18, Reply)

see above

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:18, Reply)

Someone else did the whole 'Al the Deleter' thing though

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:19, Reply)

i don't think you are al the deleter
i think you are some of the new people. but not ALL the new people.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:25, Reply)

I'd get Sherlock Tangles back out of retirement if I were you

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:29, Reply)

Isn't she just repeating the same mistakes I made?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:31, Reply)

bought a yurt...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:41, Reply)

Looking at this it seems that it's only ever Rory that uses the word
b3ta.com/search/answers?q=yer
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:19, Reply)

I got it from someone on FB and use it cos I'd never normally use it
This whole Rory thing is a massive coincidence and anyone that believes it is a gullible flid

EDIT: As you were HH *taps nose*
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:20, Reply)

haha
now search for *taps nose*

oh rory, you little scamp
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:24, Reply)

So....now I'm Monty?

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:27, Reply)

no
you're rory o'lyon
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:35, Reply)

Well I for one welcome you here Mr Newposter
A few tips if swipe is trying to get info out of you it means she has a wide on the size of the grand canyon, be afraid be very afraid (c)
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:27, Reply)

says the bluenamer

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:34, Reply)

Are you saying that you have never clicked on my profile?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:35, Reply)

well yeah
that is why your name is blue
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:40, Reply)

Sounds like someone doesn't clear their internet history very often...

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:45, Reply)

rice, barrel-aged feta, red peppers, red onions, red jalapenos, walnuts and chilli mayonnaise

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:08, Reply)

+ steak

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:09, Reply)

+ bake

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:10, Reply)

Your lack of attention to details has led you to forgot the big fat slabs of juicy meat

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:09, Reply)

you can have those
rank things that they are
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:15, Reply)

That t-shirt doesn't sound very funny

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:11, Reply)

Keep calm and rice, barrel-aged feta, red peppers, red onions, red jalapenos, walnuts and chilli mayonnaise
lol
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:18, Reply)

you just made me hungry

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:18, Reply)

This is how you ended up with Greggs Hat isn't it?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 18 Jul 2013, 11:38, Reply)

i am forever missing something
usually wildly underestimating how long it will take me to drive somewhere and then being late

alt: i don't have any. i am a girl.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:17, Reply)

Amazongate. And a million other times. I am very much 'big picture' aka 'slapdash'
Alt: I used to have an Adolf Hitler European Tour t shirt
Altalt: watercress and rocket, blue cheese, Parma (or Serrano or Black Forest) ham - baked until you can snap it and crumble it over, harboiled eggs, balsamic roasted cherry toms, spring onions, raspberry vinegar.
( wanderlust, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:28, Reply)

tell swipe I'mnot your sock Mon

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:30, Reply)

Monty used to insist that you were Al.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:31, Reply)

That's because I implied that in a gaz to the gullible fool

( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:32, Reply)

You are a slippery customer and no mistake

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:33, Reply)

are you suggesting he is frothing at the clopper?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:42, Reply)

I insist that you are a fucking yurtprick, if that helps at all?

( wanderlust, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:33, Reply)

It really does.
And I'm insisting on going home now.
/Placid
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:34, Reply)

Hear me Swipe, nigga here speak da TROOF

( wanderlust, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:31, Reply)

I quite liked Raymond Blanc's take on an english breakfast yesterday
On "how to cook well"
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:33, Reply)

He seems like a lovely chap.

( wanderlust, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:37, Reply)

As my wife says hes not a pretentious prick like Gary Rhodes
he likes to cook and cooks well
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:38, Reply)

Rhodes is a fucking cunt and no mistake

( wanderlust, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:44, Reply)

He charges £5k a day for menu development. Got him to quite when I was at Whitbread. Binned the cunt off.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:22, Reply)

and he has a hilarious accent!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:18, Reply)

I'm a big fan
We chipped in and bought the rentals lunch at le quatre seasons, I was well jell
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:39, Reply)

He did a stewed tomato base with poached egg and crispy bacon

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:47, Reply)

*bokes*

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:57, Reply)

See, GOOD SALAD

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:41, Reply)

It can be done.

( wanderlust, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:52, Reply)

I know everything about everyone and everything they're doing all the time
alt: When I was younger I had one that said "If you think I'm a bitch, you should meet my mother" That always raised a chuckle when I wore it.

altalt: Steak. Barbecued steak.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:30, Reply)

altalt: you seem to have this confused with what a man's food eats.

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:39, Reply)

frequently at work. It's not really lack of attention.
It's more "fucking cunts continually changing procedures for everything without bothering to tell anyone. Ideally so that said fucking cunts can absolve themselves of all responsibility for anything in work or life generally"

alt: I don't really have any. I did have some Plain Lazy ones years ago. I've also got a Daily Mash tshirt, I suppose that counts vaguely as "comedy"

altalt: Salad is not food. Salad is what food eats /ac
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:41, Reply)

unlike docker spunk?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:42, Reply)

that was merely warning you about salty toblerones.
It's not my fault if you fall for such obvious spunkdipping.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:43, Reply)

as ;long as they aren't double dipped

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:43, Reply)

sounds like you passing the busk to me young man

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:43, Reply)

yeah, I always "pass the busk"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:45, Reply)

I pass and never drop in any change

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:52, Reply)

Baba O'Reilly ear worm

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:42, Reply)

I'd like to say that I don't indulge in sausage salad.
Also, Peri Peri chicken.

Maybe something with diced bacon/chorizo?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:46, Reply)

I got a rotisserie chicken
cut that up added spinach and rocket half a raw onion a red pepper and some homemade vinaigrette that's nice. Pretty manly.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:47, Reply)

You can put feta or parmesan on it as well.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:48, Reply)

There's enough left over for todays sandwiches and tonights rissoto.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:50, Reply)

sounds alright, thanks friend

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:54, Reply)

lol

( wanderlust, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:56, Reply)

No problems mate.
I'm going to be in london tomorrow having a drink here from about 5:30 you should come www.thecrowntavernec1.co.uk/
(PsychoChomp, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:58, Reply)

We should hold hands

(PsychoChomp, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:00, Reply)

That's where we went innit

( wanderlust, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:00, Reply)

That was where we went, hopefully there'll be space outside, and it's like 5 mins from the office I'm working at convinient.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:02, Reply)

Sorry bruv, got plans with Mrs Ape
got baby sitter and everything
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:03, Reply)

One day I'll like turn up to a "bash" unannounced and surprise you all and you'll weep with joy

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:04, Reply)

Did you ever get that BBQ?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:54, Reply)

I got a bbq and it was nice.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 16:56, Reply)

Jeremy Kyle asks a mum of someone with HIV "Is he a possitive sort of person?" and she replied "He's more possitive now than he was".
www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10153012584695627
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:04, Reply)

Right what have I missed
Precis me motherfucker
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:08, Reply)

nothing
this thread is pouch
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:12, Reply)

Monty and Rory got stepped
A couple of new people came briefly and then fucked off, people posted tedious gash and ill-thought out political guff. You know, the ushe...
( wanderlust, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:16, Reply)

and this is definately Lusty

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:17, Reply)

Course I am.

( wanderlust, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:18, Reply)

i wonder if Lusty here will leave the board at 6pm?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:22, Reply)

Well I have to get back and cook for my big hunky man don't I?
Get his beers ready and stuff, you know.
( wanderlust, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:32, Reply)

Tell me Lusty, when did you realise you had a strange attraction for tramps?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:39, Reply)

After I first met you.
Basically after that day I just tried to blot out the memory of your lumpen, misshapen face in any way I could.
( wanderlust, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:45, Reply)

My wife is trying to do that.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:46, Reply)

I think we all are

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:49, Reply)

Evenin' all
I'm pretty organised - went to the wrong Heathrow terminal once for a flight to OZ but all was well.
Alt: I have a few 'comedy' T shirts - none of which are actually funny*.
altalt: Salad is for poofs - get a steak down you!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 17:47, Reply)

100 posts.
Also: woah check 'em.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 20:10, Reply)