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(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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It's friiiiiiiday!
What are you doing? Tell us on this generic weekend plans thread.

Alt: Everybody's mum is busy. Think of something better.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:23, 196 replies, latest was 12 years ago)
Yo.....Nothing really set in concrete so far
I suppose I will be picking loads of Cherries, I'll play the rest by ear
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:29, Reply)
Cherry ice cream smile

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:31, Reply)
I may have to buy some latex gloves and bake a load of......
crumbles and cherry pies on Sunday
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:35, Reply)
Gay "Delia" cunt

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:44, Reply)
haha she's not even in my top 10 cherry pie makers

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:47, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=OjyZKfdwlng&feature=youtube_gdata_player
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:45, Reply)
haha

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:53, Reply)
This weekend I are mostly...
...Putting up 2 fences, digging up and gravelling over an unused area of lawn and drinking heavily.
Alt: I may take a look at a baritone acoustic guitar that's come up for sale.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:31, Reply)
You need TH and monty for the guitar love!

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:31, Reply)
I have a sneaking suspicion that they are 'Electric' guitar fans!
*shudders*
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:38, Reply)
Th is a connoisseur of the stringed instrument, he'd certainly appreciate it

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:41, Reply)
I heard he moved on to....
guitars after he snapped his Banjo string
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:50, Reply)
I'm visiting someone in a hospice \o/
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:32, Reply)
^ Gay Cunt ^

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:37, Reply)
A couple of things planned for this weekend.
Be dejected and apathetic.
Wander around listlessly and aimlessly because of unhappiness or boredom.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:36, Reply)
Cheer up champ,
You could always just kill yourself, save the effort in moping.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:40, Reply)

I may, if I get the time.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:44, Reply)
What's wrong?
Has someone upset you?
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:45, Reply)

Cyber bullies.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:47, Reply)
Not yet Doc
Maybe later, Yeah
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:49, Reply)
on the information super highway?

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:49, Reply)

Just because I think Ask Jeeves and AOL are fantastic WWW (world wide web)resources.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:53, Reply)
Working.

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:37, Reply)
Morning Wee Pee
Is Porter still pining over the lack of pond?
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:38, Reply)
It's pepper. And no, she seems ok with it now.

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:40, Reply)
This is the one with the overbite yeah?

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:41, Reply)
Yah, looks like a sharks nose.
She's teething and is ripping everything in my house to pieces.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:43, Reply)
Hope you don't mind but I will continue to think of her as Porter
It was a great name suggestion
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:43, Reply)
Fair enough.
She's currently trying to drag my boots across the room, although I'm sure they're heavier than her.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:47, Reply)
Tonight shall be mostly spent in my garden.
My Saturday has been ruined by Mrs tangle buying tickets for the kids to see In the Night Garden LIVE and then fucking off to London for the weekend, leaving me to be the one to take them.

Alt: Er... has anyone got a sister then?
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:39, Reply)
In the Night Garden is fucking mental
take some mushrooms before you arrive, it'll be more fun
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:44, Reply)
I've never managed to stay awake during an episode on the TV
Mushrooms make everything better though
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:45, Reply)
that is the point of it isn't it?
i find it fucking hectic and rather mental
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:46, Reply)
I remember having to take my son to see "The Tweenies" live
I feel for you Bra.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:44, Reply)
I fucking HATE the tweenies, that and Zingzillas are banned in my house
FOBM
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:47, Reply)
You should google the one where they did Jimmy Saville
that will put a smile on your face
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:48, Reply)
seen it, i bet he nonced milo into next week

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:49, Reply)
Jake always looked more nervous and twitchy
I bet Max was noncing them all probably fingering Doodles and Izzles as well
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:52, Reply)
I only know that one name soz
I don't sit round with the Tweeneies on repeat wanking into a cup and rubbing my own feces into my face liek you do.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:54, Reply)
It must have been about 10 years since I last had to endure watching the Tweenies
What can I say, I retain useless information
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:55, Reply)
I ma also going to a pool and tennis weekend with young people, i don't play tennis, can't swim very well and don't like young people
\o/
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:53, Reply)

Jesus, not a Youth Weekend? As the kids say, fuck dat shit man.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:54, Reply)
tbh fair they are mid twenties I suppose

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:57, Reply)

Perhaps not so nightmare inducing then. What can I say? I panicked.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:59, Reply)
Becoming a scout master...
really hasn't panned out for you has it?
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:58, Reply)
dont forget your cue...

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:03, Reply)
where is everybody?

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:58, Reply)
In the queue at YM

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:59, Reply)
Osbourbe was right, the economy is picking up!

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:01, Reply)
Reddit

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:59, Reply)
Cho-cho's still got every Friday off till Sept.
I bet Kroney is out buying condoms for his dirty weekend
Monty Probs. feels really guilty for the terrible bullying on QOTW yesterday
Battered is still washing the blood of his claw hammer
And B3th, well no expanation needed really
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:05, Reply)
link the bullying

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:06, Reply)
This
b3ta.com/questions/badgigs/post2027928
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:07, Reply)
brilliant

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:12, Reply)
I'm going to Opera in the Park tomorrow.
Culture as fuck, eh?
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 8:59, Reply)

Opera Sk8
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:01, Reply)
lol

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:01, Reply)
Looks shit.

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:01, Reply)
yer I know

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:03, Reply)
'er indoors is off to Brum for some horrific girly night out
which means my kids will insist on a movie marathon sleepdown in the living room (she gets all weird about having sleeping bags downstairs making the place look untidy).

Might try making my own KFC again for the night if I can remember what I did last time.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:01, Reply)
home made fried chicken is awesome and really easy

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:02, Reply)
This is true
I completely fucked up on the cumin though.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:04, Reply)
Chin up AA, it happens to the best of us

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:05, Reply)
Thank you Bill Clay ITIYRN
You doing Fantasy Football again this year?
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:06, Reply)
Aye, I joined your league the other day

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:07, Reply)
Ahh, you've not joined under your usual name, haha

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:10, Reply)
If indeed it is my usual name

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:11, Reply)
I thought you were 'Bill Clay' last year?

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:12, Reply)
No, I'm only 'Bill Clay' here and when in the middle of stealing money from Japanese corporations

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:14, Reply)
Odd.
Clearly I am mistaken.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:15, Reply)
Is there a league code done?

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:07, Reply)
Not for here yet

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:08, Reply)
There is now
170345-137531
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:11, Reply)
Joined

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:13, Reply)

Batter chicken, deep fry, inject lung butter and mucus. Serve & enjoy!
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:02, Reply)
that sounds like an thinly veiled excuse
for your missus to get some lady scissoring on, You have turned another one "Bill Clay"
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:04, Reply)
Poach the chicken in milk first
Makes it supernom
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:05, Reply)
i poached your mum's face in my man milk last night

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:05, Reply)
I did that very thing last time
then used the milk to make the gravy, which turned out to be the best part
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:06, Reply)
American style gravy?
Is it any good?
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:07, Reply)
Yeah, great for fried chicken
don't think I'd like it over a traditional roast dinner though
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:09, Reply)
Recipe?

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:10, Reply)
Ah, here lies the problem
I really should write stuff down, I think I end up cooking stuff differently every time I do it
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:12, Reply)
Fair enough!
I only use recipes for two dishes, but they're mainly so I can remember the order.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:13, Reply)
I have a book that I stick recipes into, otr write them out, but only when they've been proven several times
/bent
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:22, Reply)
You should email yourself a copy as well

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:23, Reply)
My Mum did the same, now she's dead
HTH xx
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:24, Reply)
oh god you're not planning on killing me as well are you?

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:25, Reply)
My intention was to be to listen to Green Day until you do it for me

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:26, Reply)
Marinate the chicken in buttermilk over night (or just milk and vinegar as a cheap alternative)
Helps really lock in moisture while cooking.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:05, Reply)
I used milk and cream...

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:07, Reply)
MARRinate

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:07, Reply)
Wanking.

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:03, Reply)
Morning Swipe
Finish Game Of Thrones tonight, followed by meeting friends at the pub.

It's my friend's birthday/engagement/leaving do tomorrow night, that should be good. Might be meeting for a curry beforehand, too.

Sunday, doing a chicken roast, followed by going to see The World's End in the evening.

Should be good!

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:04, Reply)
CD

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:05, Reply)
MORNING!
I feel fucking epic today for some reason. I've already shouted at a gyppo scrappie to fuck off about from next door's skip at 7am.

Today I will be mostly boiling in work. I shall remedy this at lunchtime via the application of Peroni to face. I'm out tonight for beers and Mrs Cow's Dad is coming up for the weekend. This will involve MOAR beers and corned beef pie.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:07, Reply)
Oof, I've not had a Peroni in fucking ages.

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:07, Reply)
I shall have one for you

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:08, Reply)
Good good

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:11, Reply)
NOT WITH YOUR DEFICIT YOUNG MAN

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:09, Reply)
chortle

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:09, Reply)
Fair point!

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:11, Reply)
I'm here to help you help yourself

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:13, Reply)
Corned beef pie sounds disgusting.

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:08, Reply)
It is fucking lovely

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:08, Reply)
sounds northern and povvo

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:09, Reply)
meh
More for me innit
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:09, Reply)
I saw northerners eating this 'delicacy' when I was at university and I can confirm that it is both of those things.
Edit: In fact it was the 'hash' variety, as mentioned by our Congleton correspondent below. Do not be fooled by the name, it doesn't contain hashish.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:11, Reply)
I wouldn't have it in a pie
But corned beef hash is fucking wonderful.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:10, Reply)
Corned beef is foul. Cloying & greasy. A bit like naker's mum.

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:12, Reply)
Personally, I disagree on the corned beef front
Although it wouldn't be inaccurate to describe his Mum as a 'bit beefy'.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:14, Reply)
Not American Corned Beef

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:18, Reply)

You say 'corned beef pie' like it's a good thing. Curious.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:08, Reply)
I made one a few weeks ago and it was one of the best pies I've made

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:09, Reply)
Then your other pies must be really shit.

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:10, Reply)
I've only ever made one pie in my life
It was fucking fantastic.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:11, Reply)
Pies FTW
I may also make a chicken and leek one too
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:12, Reply)
Bacon rather that leek.

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:14, Reply)
*adds bacon to chicken and leek*

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:23, Reply)
I will make a suggestion
for a chicken and Sausage meat one as well then... a great summer pie that is fantastic cold, use the leftovers from a roast chicken and get so good quality sausage meat (good and spicy etc.) add you own herbs and away your go
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:37, Reply)
Ooooooooo
I like this
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:46, Reply)
I make a rather fine steak pie, I'll have you know

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:11, Reply)
it was just a dog egg stuffed into a greggs steak bake

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:12, Reply)

I am struggling to imagine it being nice. Still, good luck to ya!
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:11, Reply)
*Piefives*
Mine will have Cherries instead
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:12, Reply)
In other news micro has started potty training.

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:13, Reply)
FOBTM

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:14, Reply)
Eh?

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:14, Reply)
fuck off back to mums net




you cunt
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:16, Reply)
holy fuck
Just seen an article about hackers taking over cars remotely. How horrifying would that be - would be like being in "christine".
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:14, Reply)
I honestly thought you'd fucked up the title then, and was about to mock
Only for me to look it up, and realise that really is the one about the killer car.

What a shit title.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:15, Reply)
eponymous innit

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:17, Reply)
It's very good, written at...
the time when Stephen King was a decent author
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:18, Reply)
never heard of it

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:21, Reply)
Glad to be of help
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christine_(novel)
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:24, Reply)
wow...that sound, utterly fucking ridiculous and shit and bent and shit

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:32, Reply)
Monty give Nakers his login back

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:34, Reply)
Where is Kristine, do you think she has died from obesity caused illness?

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:16, Reply)
Hopefully.

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:17, Reply)
coronary or diabetic coma?

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:20, Reply)
Overdosed on Krispy Kreme's. the fat cunt.

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:22, Reply)
the sequel to Se7en was ruined by product placements

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:23, Reply)
Heh heh.

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:25, Reply)
Charming.

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:21, Reply)
Have you ever seen a picture of it? Morbidly obese & visually offensive, as well as being an unpleasant person.

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:23, Reply)
her life did seem pretty fucked up

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:24, Reply)
Well hopefully her life is over.

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:24, Reply)
This is HORRENDOUS BULLYING
and I won't have it.

Not on my watch, Sunshine.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:38, Reply)
that is really unfair
she's fat, fine, but she has a pretty face, and she's good fun.

save your bullying for people who deserve it, like me.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:44, Reply)
+ma

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:45, Reply)
Remotely as in "have to be sat in car and plugged into Odbc socket"
not very remote
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:24, Reply)
You down with ODBC?

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:29, Reply)
Yeah, you tow me

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:34, Reply)
*golf clap*

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:47, Reply)
You mean your car doesn't have wireless connectivity?
I can totally order pizzas in my car. Does mean I have to have some fairly robust anti-virus to stop me getting trojans in my gearbox.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:42, Reply)
yeah but DO YOU PAY FOR THEM?

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:44, Reply)
urgh I am dying

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:21, Reply)
+e
^ Ginger ^
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:21, Reply)
I'm on my second can of pop
My voice is about an octave lower than usual and my staff are all going to get a punch in the fucking jaw if they don't stop being retarded.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:23, Reply)
why did you hire Nakers?

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:23, Reply)
I gave him a reacharound

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:24, Reply)

e i
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:29, Reply)
haha

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:30, Reply)
I had a feeling no one would get it

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:30, Reply)
did you go of a cheeky pint with stunner by any chance?

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:22, Reply)
nah
I went round some young people's gaff for steak and wine, and, as it turned out, cocaine and weed, it was all jolly good fun until I realised it was half three.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:27, Reply)
cocaine and weed? odd combo no?

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:28, Reply)
No
A good combo
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:30, Reply)
A stone cold classic, you might say

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:34, Reply)
not at all

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:30, Reply)
Beer mouse?

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:23, Reply)
Fanny.

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:23, Reply)
Gay cunt.

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:24, Reply)
^ This ^

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:25, Reply)
Idea for a sitcom
Two Jews that sell knock-off designer gear at a market. Called "I Can't Believe It's Not Schmutter"
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:33, Reply)
Sitcom based around a dry cleaning shop that specialises in international clothing
Called "Ethnic Cleansing"
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:34, Reply)
Sitcom based around cartoon-obsessed Muslim butchers
Called 'That's Hallal folks'
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:36, Reply)
Jimmy Savile stars in a sitcom about a Nazi death camp
called "Dachau's about that then?"
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:39, Reply)
As a boy I was shocked to read about American hero Daniel Boone and his 'coonskin hat'

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:38, Reply)
"Yevver been ahna coon hunt, boy?"

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:40, Reply)
I'm still waiting for a call back from Dragons' Den
to let me pitch for my idea for a chip shop in Jerusalem called the Arbeit Macht Fry. I think maybe they've got the wrong number for me because I haven't heard back yet.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:36, Reply)
BT have probably disconnected your phone line

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:37, Reply)
What about a sitcom based in a dairy farm in Jerusalem
called "Cheeses of Nazareth"
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:37, Reply)
OK
How about a sitcom based on a Hassidic chap and his attempt to rise through the ranks of George Galloway's controversial political party?

'Respect Jew'
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:40, Reply)
NU FRED

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:42, Reply)
I think "Idea's for a sitcom" deserves it own thread Twoey
Make it so
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:40, Reply)
Consider it done

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:40, Reply)
First payday from new job,
got a lot more than I was expecting, and I have a three day weekend.

Apart from having chuff all sleep, life is looking prett-ty good.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:41, Reply)

I want to know how much more?
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:42, Reply)
11p
NOOFER ED
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:42, Reply)
Why?Are you the tax man?

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:43, Reply)

No, just fucking nosey.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 10:31, Reply)
NOOF READ

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:42, Reply)
today will be a good pay pay, as got a pay rise last month adn have £800 of expenses coming in

(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:42, Reply)
I'm really looking forward to getting away for the weekend.
I hate everything at the moment.
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:44, Reply)
Yeah?
Well I hate you, too!
God, you're so unfair! I didn't ask to be born! I'm going to my room!
(, Fri 26 Jul 2013, 9:47, Reply)

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