I'm down at the service desk to get something fixed on my computer
The tech guy is googling the problem ffs
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:07, 5 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

You could just gaz Kroney
I'm sure he will sort it out in no time
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:08, Reply)

apparently my comp has trust issues...

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:11, Reply)

Trying to get onto another tree within the forest, eh?

( Kroney, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:15, Reply)

has it been hurt before?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:17, Reply)

It was breast feeding in public and another computer shouted at it.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:17, Reply)

Glad you turned up what year is the Focus?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:20, Reply)

2013

(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:22, Reply)

So it has the whole bluetooth package then?
my wife has the 2011 fiesta
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:25, Reply)

And by coincidence
she appeared in a 2003 Fiesta...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:26, Reply)

I hear the brail version is much better

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:27, Reply)

2003MARR

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:27, Reply)

+reader's wife award

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:26, Reply)

Marr too slow

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:27, Reply)

*is MARRdy*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:27, Reply)

I think sporters was better.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:29, Reply)

It was... But I was quicker
Also for reference these are the ratings that his missus gives us
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:37, Reply)

haha
this made me chuckle far to much
( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:27, Reply)

No one is glad he turned up

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:23, Reply)

My mum loves me.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:23, Reply)

She loves us all Alfonze

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:24, Reply)

But I'm the only one she reads a story to afterwards

(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:28, Reply)

and one day she'll be dead
and someone will draw you a nice picture of her rotting green corpse bouncing merrily away on top of their swollen phallus to cheer you up.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:35, Reply)

I hope so.

(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:52, Reply)

it caught me up to my nuts in an apple mac with 30m of cable shoved up my arse

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:19, Reply)

It was probably most upset that you shelled out for the Apple "uptothenuts" adaptor
when you could have been up to the nuts in it, adaptor-free.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Haha
It's more than our IT department do. "Nah, mate...not within my remit"
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:09, Reply)

Google is a valid technical resource

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:12, Reply)

your mum is a valid sexual resource

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Only for deviants

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:26, Reply)

o/

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:29, Reply)

It's generally what we do

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:21, Reply)

i rang our IT team with an issue yesterday
after my stupid computer fucking froze with instructions to counsel that had taken about 4 hours to draft on the screen.

i was not inspired with confidence when he jumped on my machine remotely, and promptly said, "what the hell does that mean?"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:26, Reply)

SAVE YOUR WORK OFTEN
Get them to setup autosave
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:27, Reply)

autosave is a fucking god send

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:29, Reply)

it wouldn't be necessary if computers didn't fuck themselves up regularly
i hate computers
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:30, Reply)

Save as you're going along. If you don't and your machine freezes
and you lose 4 hours work, the attitude will be "it's your own fucking fault".
( Kroney, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:28, Reply)

*IT high-fives*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:28, Reply)

it was on autosave
that's not the point. the point is, it took 30 mins to fix, which was 30 mins where i could do no work, and that costs the firm money. WHY HAVE WE UPGRADED TO A SHINY NEW SYSTEM THAT DOESN'T FUCKING WORK AS WELL AS THE OLD ONE?

the worst is this message that pops up saying "CATASTROPHIC FAILURE" accompanied by an icon at the bottom of the screen of a furtive little man legging it out of a door.

nobody in our IT team seems to know why that message appears. or what it means.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:29, Reply)

I don't care about any of that shit.
You got the new system because the old system was probably out of support. Now shut up and stop whinging. Talk to me when something's actually broken, not when you're just bloo blooing because you'd be happier with a typewriter you knuckledragging Luddite HEATHEN
( Kroney, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:31, Reply)

^ customer service award imminent.

( Kroney, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:33, Reply)

^ 'Star Of The Month' Award
or as we call it the "Doing the job you're fucking paid to do" Award.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:40, Reply)

They're usually awarded to the miserable, hormonal 50 year old woman who keeps threatening to leave and spends half her time crying the bogs, lamenting her diminishing monthly cycles.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:45, Reply)

at 50?
i fucking hope they've gone long before then
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:49, Reply)

Rachel in showing total lack of knowledge of how her own body functions.
www.nhs.uk/conditions/Menopause/Pages/Introduction.aspx
(Bazongaloid, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:54, Reply)

you know what, i bloody well would
no freezing, no losing the last few paragraphs, nobody scratching their balls on the other end of the phone and making me ruin my heels and nails crawling around under the desk to "turn it off and on again"...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:33, Reply)

We implant webcams under the desks for just such a reason

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:38, Reply)

I bet there's traces of Tipp-ex on your screen....

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:40, Reply)

i'm not blonde

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:43, Reply)

Tipp-ex rust
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:46, Reply)