It's OK now - I have coffee
*puts killing hammer back in bag*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:31, 4 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Moi aussi!

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:32, Reply)

G'day mon ami

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:33, Reply)

I had a latte this morning, and they put WHITE sugar in it.
I nearly put on my killing trousers and went hammer mental.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:34, Reply)

This is understandable

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:34, Reply)

I nearly just turned back, got on the train and went home. Fucking livid.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:35, Reply)

Shit on the counter next time
Then smear it all over the barista's face
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:38, Reply)

the fact that people who's job is 'being able to use a coffee machine'
are now called 'baristas' makes me want to don the killing trousers too.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)

Being a good barista is not as simple as one might think given that every cunt now has an espresso machine
it's far easier to make awful coffee with an espresso machine that it is to make nice coffee, but people don't realise this.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:46, Reply)

I do agree. It's just now any cunt in a cafe who can press 'Latte' on a machine now warrants an item of clothing with 'Barista' plastered all over it.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)

I don't think that actually happens
I think you should put your daily mail down and go outside.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:49, Reply)

I think you should fuck off back to Bongo Bongo Land.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:51, Reply)

Bazongo Bazongo Land, surely?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 10:22, Reply)

There's a coffee shop at my Metro station and the guy can do all the fancy milk shape thingies
...which are promptly ruined when you put the lid on
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:47, Reply)

3 years of Uni and a degree in fine art being put to good use.

( Peej, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:47, Reply)

So he's slightly gifted, but also a fucking retard.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:48, Reply)

Yes, yes he is
He seems to be Italian and has an almost unintelligable Irish guy working for him
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:49, Reply)

basically a description of about 40% of the population of the UK.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:50, Reply)

If someone tried to put any sugar in mine, or milk for that matter I'd be putting on the trousers within seconds.

( Peej, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:47, Reply)

And I would say 'Fair play to this Gentleman'
But if you do have sugar, it's brown in coffee and white in tea, and these rules should not be deviated from when making my hot beverage.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:50, Reply)

Coffee just shouldn't be sweet. Its not a fucking can of pop.

( Peej, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:53, Reply)

Why's it fizzy and served in an aluminum cylinder then, eh?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:54, Reply)

Like YD's fleshlight

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:55, Reply)

He's named it 'sportscow'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:57, Reply)

Fucking hipsters and their fucking suspended coffee. CUNTS!

( Peej, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:55, Reply)

My favourite coffee blend is called Dr Pepper.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:56, Reply)

Quite difficult to make a latte without milk though

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:52, Reply)

Latte's and the people that drink them will be the first ones on the trains to the camps when I take over.

( Peej, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:53, Reply)

Hazelnut syrup?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:55, Reply)

GAY

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:56, Reply)

Don't test me!
I'll fetch my killing Luger
( Peej, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:56, Reply)

The chap in front of me this morning asked for "a tall caramel macchiato" I think.
It seemed to consist of a lot of syrup and frothy milk, then a shot of espresso as an afterthought.

I'll be honest I nearly cut him down on the spot. Especially as I only went there for a sausage wrap and the fucker held me up by 3 minutes.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 10:03, Reply)

Metal Hammer = a magazine for people who like Offspring.
Hammer Metal = a magazine for people who like Hammer-fun-times.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:49, Reply)

I still don't have mine.
FFS
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:39, Reply)

FAIL

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:40, Reply)

I just had to make one for myself.
Worst day ever.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:44, Reply)

a killing hammer?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)

You can use any hammer, I prefer Estwing.
The trousers you have to make yourself though.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:46, Reply)

right you are.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:51, Reply)

sounds like a tool you buy from Ikea
"one KyllngHamma please"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:42, Reply)

My name, Dave, is a fucking Ikea laptop stand.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)

We're all Dave here, mate.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:45, Reply)

'ning Dave

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:46, Reply)

'Ning all.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:52, Reply)

Endless repeats of unfunny stuff?

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:53, Reply)