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(

rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)

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Morning folks
Morning seems to have come round all too quickly. Meh.

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 8:34, 220 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Good Afternoon, PoD
from a startlingly warm and non-humid Hong Kong :)
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 8:36, Reply)

Morning, PoD
I had created a homestead for this morning, and when I pressed the Post button, I saw yours too. So I'll come here instead.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 8:36, Reply)

Mornings both of you
It is sunny here, but doesn't seem too warm yet. I fear that it may well get too warm later.

I thought you would appear soon and make one, but thought I would do it anyway.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 8:39, Reply)

Good morning all.
Is everyone well this morning? (or afternoon depending where you are)
(

wanderlust, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 8:40, Reply)

Am fabulous
if a little stir-crazy ... am Blighty-bound for a week tomorrow...w00t!!
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 8:41, Reply)

Morning 'lust
I'm ok, although my stomach muscles seem to rather hate me this morning. Strange, what with me having done no exercise in the last few days.

How art thou?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 8:42, Reply)

Morning, 'lust. Afternoon, Edmond.
PoD - you need to get yourself over to the east coast. There's a sea haar this morning which is making it quite cool here.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 8:45, Reply)

Hello all.
I'm not in a mood for work today. Probably because I worked so hard yesterday.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 8:47, Reply)

I'm super, thanks for asking.
Have you been working out in your sleep then?

@edmund, I take it you're excited then!

and morning Mr K
Edit: and hello BGB aswell :)
(

wanderlust, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 8:48, Reply)

'lust
I've been here for three weeks working with a client who claim to be mathematical geniuses and who don't know what the t-test is.

Keen to avoid stereotyping, but if I were to refer to them as "Ah, soles" would that help?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 8:50, Reply)

Morning BGB
In other news, I should finally get my bike back today!!!! And then I can stop going on about it like a little child.

Just got to get work out of the way first. Roll on 3pm!!
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 8:57, Reply)

Hi
and bye...off to work
*snogs*

*runs*
(

fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 8:57, Reply)

Oh dear.
Well I hope the soles don't bother you for much longer.
There's a few people in my office who are like that. What a bunch of spoons.
(

wanderlust, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 8:57, Reply)

Hello and goodbye Becky
See you later.

What's been wrong with your bike, PoD? I've missed that bit. You have said you were expecting to get it back for a while now.

@BGB - were you really working hard yesterday, or did you make that up?
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:01, Reply)

It's second hand k2k6
So it was just in getting a few parts replaced that were worn, such as bottom brackets, and rear sprocket sets.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:03, Reply)

@PoD
Oh I see. So you'll be like a kid with a new toy when you get it then! :)
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:06, Reply)

Well yes
And it shall be a case of how far can I push it before I break anything on it again.

Or break anything on myself.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:08, Reply)

@K2K6
How very dare you.

I worked my ass off yesterday but I think one day of hard work is enough to pay back my dad for the London trip. I'll just coast again now.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:08, Reply)

Right dahlings
I better head off to the wonderous place that is my work.

Wish me luck.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:13, Reply)

Gross
Some random man just called my office. I'm pretty sure he was having a wank...

I hate it when that happpens.
(

wanderlust, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:14, Reply)

Bye PoD
@BGB - Heh! Top perk though, so I reckon it's worth a day's work.

Edit@'lust - WTF? Your office number isn't one digit different from a sex line or something is it?
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:16, Reply)

Moanin' All
How be everyone?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:21, Reply)

Bye POD
@K2K6 - don't worry about my dad, he'll get his pound of flesh for letting me use the c/card.

@Wanderlust - Ew!
(

girlinthehole, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:21, Reply)

@K2k6
No. But it's happend once or twice before here.
I think it's the same guy.
I probably don't help matters as I use my "phone voice" here which can tend to get a bit ummm husky :(
(

wanderlust, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:21, Reply)

@'lust
Sorry, it was me, I'm asthmatic.

/coat.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:24, Reply)

@ Ancrenne
be even funnier if its just some poor bloke with a stammer!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:26, Reply)

Or perhaps
you could keep him talking until he gets a bit more, er, wound up, then casually drop into the conversation a remark about all telephone calls being recorded for training purposes.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:26, Reply)

@ancrenne
The last time it happened it was actually quite funny.
He told me I had a lovely voice and I shouldn't stop talking. I told him I didn't think it was appropriate thing to say. That seemed to get him off as he started heavy breathing and told me he liked to be told off.
Honestly, I just attract weirdos, even down the phone!
(

wanderlust, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:30, Reply)

bye lovely
You're not a weirdo!
And even if you were I'd make an exception for ya.
(

wanderlust, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:35, Reply)

Bye ancrenne.
Re cycling. You lot on here all seem to be mad on cycling. I just can't get into it. The saddles are always uncomfortable and I don't trust car users to keep away from me.

Edit - I also can't seem to get on and off a bike in a ladylike manner.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:36, Reply)

Dammit,
Like ships in the night
*frowns*

Also, I hate cycling.
If I wanted to be anally violated, and have a lingering feeling of being punched in the nuts, I'd just... I actually don't know what I'd do.
(

Cawl, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:37, Reply)

Re: Cycling
I'd look into Specialized Body Geometry saddles, they have special gel and cutouts to stop your nuts or ladybits getting sore
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:43, Reply)

Cycling
I used to cycle when I was a teenager, because it was cheaper than the bus and I couldn't drive. But now I have money and a driving licence, I prefer to take the car for longer journeys, or walk short distances.

Last time I was on a bike was about 5 years back, on one of my visits to friends in the US. We went out for a run on the back roads near their house, which was fun because the roads are dead quiet and the Midwest's also very flat. That was the first time I'd been on a bicycle since I was about 18, and I proved the old adage about never forgetting how to ride one. I was a bit wobbly on the bends though!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:44, Reply)

I could do that
Or I could just drive or walk.
Much better idea.
(

Cawl, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:47, Reply)

*jesus loves the little children*
Morning all! BONG!
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:49, Reply)

Hi DIT
Jesus wants me for a sunbeam but he can fuck right off.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:50, Reply)

If Jesus was so great
Why was he such a boring cunt?
If he had all those Superpowers, why didn't he do anything interesting?
Tosser.
(

Cawl, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:51, Reply)

He was just a flirting fraud I reckon.
Attracting all those around him and flexing his powers, rather than flying or saving babies from burning buildings.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:54, Reply)

To be fair
Jesus did turn water into wine at one point. And he cured some bloke's blindness. Allegedly.

But I suspect he was a rather good illusionist.

As Richard Dawkins (I think) pointed out, why just cure one blind man? Why not just get rid of blindness as an affliction?
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:56, Reply)

Haha
"Jesus - a boring Cunt"

You're the new poster-boy for the Teachings of Cathol!

(it was a quote from Jay and Silent Bob, BTW)
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:56, Reply)

Just a quick mornin'
before my time runs out.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:57, Reply)

Cycling
Yep, I second the nomination for Specialized's Body Geometry saddles. They have an Ass 'O meter which measures the distance between your sit bones and stock saddles which fit accordingly.

I have a narrow bum.

Oh and in keeping with b3ta, here is a link to some tiny kittens

www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/environment/article4301354.ece
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:58, Reply)

morning
i want to know what al's surprise was last night... where be he??
(

rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:59, Reply)

Sounds ominous, spakka
You say that like you're about to have a case of death!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 9:59, Reply)

^Hehe
I'd like my last words to be:

"I have a million pounds in non-sequential notes. It's yours. All you have to do is... find... the....." *croak*
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:02, Reply)

@K2k6
My time on the Internet will run out and I won't be on b3ta again until I'm next on the .net. That's as good as temporary paralasys.

BTW: I went to the bath of Bath. T'was very relaxing. Will explore the city today and head off to Bristol in the eve.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:03, Reply)

@ PJM
Those cats rock, I think we should build a b3ta army of them!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:05, Reply)

'ning all :o)
If you're going to Brizzle and fancy a pint there's an excellent micro-brewery type bar thing. i don't know where exactly but it's up a lot of stairs.

Cycling scares me.
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:05, Reply)

Yes, I'm also curious about Al's secret rendevous.
@PJM - Aw, want one. Also I have the flattest, boniest bum on the planet. No ergonomic seat is going to solve that problem.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:05, Reply)

What's this about Al?
*confused*
(

Cawl, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:07, Reply)

Morning, Baby_k
I'm sure spakka will appreciate your comprehensive directions!

And those kittens are very cute, PJM. Although I'm not sure I'd want to have cats which were rat-sized. Cats should be bigger than that.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:09, Reply)

@Kaol
Al came on here briefly yesterday afternoon to say he was off somewhere secret and he was waiting for his girlfriend.

Last we heard
(

girlinthehole, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:10, Reply)

A surprise?
Not heard from since?

You don't think he's been done away with?

*forms search party*
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:12, Reply)

Right, I going to do another splurge of work.
Then I should be free all afternoon.

See you all in a bit.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:13, Reply)

Maybe he is
in cahoots with Max Moseley and doing a nazi sex party?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:13, Reply)

I'm off to St Pancras International
to meet someone I've never met before. This is the second time I've done this this week.

Oh well, beats work. See you later.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:14, Reply)

Good luck clendrix
Not a b3tan is it???
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:15, Reply)

It amuses me
that clendrix is having her own little series of micro-b3ta-bashes!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:15, Reply)

@PJM
Not this time!
(

thealternativefact, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:15, Reply)

@ Clendrix
Blind dates are always fun
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:15, Reply)

Just booked myself a youth-hostel in Bristol
The Internet terminal doesn't let me print things out so I'm relying on memorising my route.

@clendrix: b3tans or non-b3tans, you gotta love St.Pancras.
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:20, Reply)

Time out
Bye...
(

mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:22, Reply)

Sooooooo......
it's gone a bit quiet. Cake and parties and cups of tea?
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:26, Reply)

@ethelred
not all blind dates are fun!
Edit@ cup of tea please miss b_k
(

wanderlust, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:28, Reply)

Did I hear
cake being mentioned?

*sniffs air for traces of cakey aroma*
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:32, Reply)

morning all
is there any cake today?

*needs*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:32, Reply)

It's funny how
the mention of cake brought HLT in to the discussion!

Morning, Miss Tulip. Why art thou unamused?
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:34, Reply)

*unveils*
This, my friends, is time travel.

Yes, it's a Black Forest Gateaux!

Enjoy!
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:35, Reply)

hey HLT
just trying to decide what to go for. There were mentions of battenburg yesterday so i'm thinking a big fat strawberry sponge. with buttercream. and lots of icing.

do a happy song, i like your happy songs. please?
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:36, Reply)

i've posted above this one
*quivers with impotent rage*

*is too cross to eat cake*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:36, Reply)

Might I suggest
Lemon meringue pie?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:37, Reply)

nice thought...
...but i always want to throw them at people. they just look throwable. tasty though.

sexy time food fight ain't it.
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:43, Reply)

@ wanderlust
try me ;-)
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:43, Reply)

*has now read HLT's post*
That's not good at all. What sort of twat tries that sort of thing anyway?

*tempts with chocolate fudge cake*

Come on, try some. It'll help!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:44, Reply)

well, all right
*nibbles on a Scone of Melancholy*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:46, Reply)

I am confused.
Our News Editor just came in, and it's continental kisses all round.

I never know when to go for continental or just the one cheek, and always end up in a hal-hover position when I realise that it's expected that a second cheek should be kissed and I look like a fucking Igor.

Can this not be standardised? In fact, can we just drop poncy air kisses full stop. Fucking media.
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:53, Reply)

If someone tried that on me I'd give 'em tongues.
Then claim confusion.
They'd never do it to me again.
(

Cawl, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:55, Reply)

Air Kissing...
should be banned. I think we should introduce snogs as a respectable greeting.

*snogs everyone*

isn't snog a funny word.
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:55, Reply)

@ethelred
are you suggesting we go on a blind date?
I'll bring the stick if you bring the dog.

(that sounded less wrong in my head)
(

wanderlust, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:59, Reply)

snog is ace
snogs are ace too.

*snogs*

Have been cheered up greatly by deciding what to go and see at the Edinburgh Fringe in the name of ~~drinking and giggling at the theatre's expense~~ serious theatrical research for the forthcoming programme.

And by the cake as well.

*noms*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 10:59, Reply)

I've never been to
the Edinburgh festival, either the proper one or the fringe. I try to avoid Edinburgh in August as you can't move for tourists and luvvies.

But I have watched some of it on the telly. It can get a bit weird. I remember seeing a bit about one show which consisted of some old bloke reciting his poetry to about a dozen people.

With his cock out.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:03, Reply)

*wipes coffee from keyboard*
hahahaha!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:04, Reply)

ugh!
bloody fuck-cunting knob-bothering arse-pounding bastards.

i hate my job.

ugh.
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:07, Reply)

Hello everybody.
How are you fine bunch of miscreants this morning?

@Miss Tulip What a very natsy thing to do. The youth of today, bloddy useless!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:09, Reply)

Miss Kitten
Pray tell what is wrong?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:09, Reply)

Herr Dr,
I resent being called a "miscreant".

I'm a fine and noble young gentleman.
(

Cawl, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:16, Reply)

yeah, me too
I'm nothing less than a creant, I'll have you know!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:17, Reply)

People.
That is who are wrong.
i work for a major UK mobile phone network that may or may not rhyme with Skodadrone.

All i do is call people and make sure they are happy. and try to save them money. no catches, no extra commitment, nothing. i call people who agreed to be part of our database and requested to be called.

And half of the daft knobjockeys just call me a bint and tell me to get bent. it's just rude. i need more coffee.

i feel batter after the rant though
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:18, Reply)

We aren't really
miscreants. We just behave like it sometimes.

How do, Dr Minge?

Edit @baby_k - I'm with the network you work for. I get calls from other companies who are trying to get me to switch, with their cheap deals and free flashy phones. They can never understand why I am not interested in going to a tariff which gives me as much as I have just now for less money, and with a new phone.

My answers are simple - my phone works well, I have a hardwired car kit for it, and Vodafone has far better coverage in much of Scotland than any of the other networks, despite what their coverage maps may say.

Your loyal customer,
K2k6.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:18, Reply)

Well I am truly sorry
for upsetting you fine people, but please take it as a term of affection.

@HLT I must admit that I don't like being cold called and offered things, but if I've asked for it then I'd have no right to moan. Rudeness gets right up my nose.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:26, Reply)

@ k2k6
if you fancy an excellent upgrade, let me know!
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:27, Reply)

WOOOHOO!
I have been gioven two free tickets to the London Motor Show. I am stoked!

*loads camera*

*prays someone just says - here, you're the 2,000th visitor! Here is your prize, a Ferrari!*

EDIT: *Offers Kitten some cake.* People are bastards. Nil illegitimi carborundum.
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:33, Reply)

@ DiT
I'll swap you a spare Nickelback ticket for your spare London Motor Show ticket!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:41, Reply)

*accepts cake*

*looks at cake*

*rubs cake all over self in a slightly demeted way*

Mmmmm Tasty.
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:42, Reply)

I shall request
A taste of B_k's cake
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:43, Reply)

.
"All i do is call people and make sure they are happy. and try to save them money. no catches, no extra commitment, nothing. i call people who ~~agreed to be part of our database and requested to be called.~~"

who haven't or can't read the small-type print at the bottom of the contract that requires you to tick a box to be opted out of being called automatically ?

On a related note, I want to change my voda tariff and the webform "isn't working at the moment", an attempt to make the lazy (i.e. me) forget and stay on their higher tariff no doubt...
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:45, Reply)

Nil illegitimi carborundum
I love that, "Don't let the bastards grind you down".

Hmm... Ferrari...

I'd put enough petrol in it to drive round the block and then sell the bugger... A deposit on a new home and a Marin Attack Trail would be purchased with the proceeds.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:46, Reply)

I'm back.
It wasn't a blind date (and I agree with wanderlust that they're certainly not all good). I had to pass a key to a lovely French lady who's staying at my friend's house while he is away. To say thank you, she bought me some lovely French soap.

*looks forward to next shower*
(

thealternativefact, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:46, Reply)

Sorry, Ethel...
But I'm taking my stepdad! It doesn't seem like a fair swap, anyway! ;P

@PJM, I kind of like that plan. I don't suppose a Ferrari would really fit on my road. And the insurance might be prohibitive.
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:53, Reply)

b3tamax
no, this is not cold calling or sales calls, it's customers who've been with us for years who recieved a letter asking if they wanted to be part of a customer services campaign and if so, how would they like to be contacted.

nothing to do with small print

call 191 and say you want to leave and that phones4u have offered to buy out your contract. you'll get a good deal then.

EDIT: @ Ethelred - lick away.
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:53, Reply)

Aaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhhhh
The Spack-Handed-Twats^tm that I work for keep interupting my b3ta-time asking me to do work!

Hello Clendrix.

Did anybody get pics of the mini-bash?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:54, Reply)

Morning my lovelies!
I'll be third to vouch for the Specialised speshul saddles.

I also bought a gel-filled seat cover for my bike for doing long distance. With that, and padded shorts, one's arse is safe.

I'm going to see The Dark Knight tonight, getting so very excited! Hopefully it won't disappoint me in the way that Indy IV did (I was nearly peeing myself with joy before it started, and crying with anger when it finished).
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:55, Reply)

@Baby Kitten
I'm with Skodafone and you're more than welcome to call me. I promise I'll be nice...

_{I also want cheaper phone bills and a replacement for my 18 month old rubberized Nokia}
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:56, Reply)

Cycling and saddles
I've opened a new thread on the subject elsewhere on Off Topic...

Feel free to ask questions about sore bottoms or rant away.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:58, Reply)

As i'm so lovely...
gaz me if you want anything.

(i'm assuming gaz means message...never worked that one out.)

Morning your highness. I once did a sexy dance with bob fossil when the boosh were on tour. good times.
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:58, Reply)

No mini-bash photos
as we were too busy yapping. Besides, my camera has now decided it doesn't do pictures inside, so I'm waiting for a new one.

Hello Dok!
(

thealternativefact, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 11:59, Reply)

@BabyK
that's awesome! He was by far the best character they produced. First series was the best, simply because of him.
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 12:01, Reply)

Morning Bob!
Are you well?

You can have my Cast-Iron Deviltee* that the Dark Knight will not disappoint.

*like a guarantee, but better.
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 12:02, Reply)

Agreed,
The Dark Knight won't dissappoint, as long as you've not let yourself get swept up in the hype.
(

Cawl, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 12:06, Reply)

i made a total tit of myself though
but it was well worth it.
i danced with Naboo to cotton eyed joe and stole his stetson. He's shorter than i am (i'm only 5'1) and he got a bit shirty.
Vince noir made me buy him a voddy and orange and Howard kissed me on the nose.
all in all a good night.
apart from the bit when i tried to get onto the tour bus and got told that i could put out or get off. (i got off)
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 12:09, Reply)

OK
I'm back from a spending spree (I bought a camera and memory card for it), and everybody appears to have vanished.

Where is everybody?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 12:51, Reply)

It would appear
we're all playing on the new QOTW, which is quite a good un.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 12:54, Reply)

reading QOTW i imagine
the first one is funny :o)
I'm still here though Dr.
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 12:54, Reply)

It is.
But I'm bored here with no one to talk to.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 12:54, Reply)

@clendrix
You mentioned earlier you'd been given some lovely French soap. that surprised me. The French use soap?
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 12:58, Reply)

i'll hang around
can always read it later.

a bit of naughty talk would bring em all back.

let's see.....

BOOBIES!

anyone? no?
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 12:58, Reply)

Hang on
did I hear something interesting there?

Oh, boobies! Yes please.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:00, Reply)

al and K2k6
I have definitely developed opinions about both of you.

K2k6 - the French sell soap. Not sure about their usage of said product.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:04, Reply)

It looks that way, Al
Don't know how they could have possibly formed these misconceptions though.

What was your surprise last night, BTW? Was it a good one?
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:04, Reply)

firm sexy boobies
covered in rich dark chocolate
with thick double cream
and possibly a sprig of mint to decorate.

those are not just boobies, they're s&m boobies.

will someone please tell me to shut up?
where's PJM gone?
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:07, Reply)

Sounds good, Al
@b_k - please don't shut up.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:08, Reply)

Something tells me
all this talk of boobies was a red herring, just to lure us in here.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:19, Reply)

AHAHAHAHA!
"Picking up a few bits of salad"

gaymo.

EDIT: al, where did ye goo, out of interest?
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:20, Reply)

I was
Reading the cycling thread and creating a QOTW post that might be a ~~bag o' wank~~ decent attempt.

Everyone still here?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:24, Reply)

nah...
bottoms too. lovely squidgable bottoms.

why won't anyone answer the phone today? bloody rude.
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:25, Reply)

@bk
In which case apologies for casting aspersions, I'm having a very cynical day :)

Ta for the tips, I'll see what I can get out of voda that way.
(b3tamax Mate, you're fat and I'll throw you in the river, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:26, Reply)

no probs hun
if you want a nice friendly person (ie- me) to arrange something just message me for my work email :o)
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:29, Reply)

Oooo Errrrr
I posted and then had a look at the QOTW, whichad changed and I post on the QOTW and miss the boobies!

Boo hiss!

Hello again everybody.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:36, Reply)

What's that about boobies.
Bloody loose women on here. It's a disgrace.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:39, Reply)

@ Baby Kitten
I agree with K2k6, keep talking.

S&M Boobies, some of my favorite things, but not all the time.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:39, Reply)

*naked dance*
in a tasteful way obviously.

*shimmy shimmy, shimmy shimmy*
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:40, Reply)

It's OK Dr Minge
You didn't miss much. They were decoy boobies, just to lure us unsuspecting ~~perverts~~gentlemen back to this thread.

Edit - hang about, baby_k's raised the stakes!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:40, Reply)

al
This is your time to shine.

La Porchetta is always lovely. Did the nice man smile at you?
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:43, Reply)

i think...
that one day, when it's lovely and sunny early in the morning we should arrange a spontaneous mass b3ta beach BBQ with naked dancing and wine and beer and cake. lots of cake.

we'd all complain to our superiors that we were suffering from some kind of illness. we may even make it onto the 6 o clock news as some kind of mass epidemic.
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:46, Reply)

cakey, cycley and nakedish.
how's you?
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:49, Reply)

ancrenne gorgeous!
They made a QOTW for me!
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:50, Reply)

@K2k6
She had to go and take it up a notch didn't she. Not that I mind mind you, the view is lovely from here.

@B_K That is such a cool idea, except the naked dancing would have to come after a whole lot of cake and wine.

EDIT Get's hit in the face with the rancid whale meat

The goggles they do nothing!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:51, Reply)

*dances*
*plays with al's naughty bits*
(Alopeciasimian Has a JMG up his arse, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:52, Reply)

A b3ta bash
involving naked dancing would be good. So long as it's not Al who's dancing naked...

Afternoon, ancrenne.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:53, Reply)

@ Dr
exactly. problem is finding a beach that we could all congregate on....hmmmmm. We'd probably need big motorbikes and leather jackets and 50's dresses and OW......whale blubber????!
not whale blubber....
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:54, Reply)

There would have to be
pictures of this naked B3ta Bash, or nobody would believe that it happened.

News crews count, don't they?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:55, Reply)

totally
we could make a dvd of the day and post it to everyone with a fairy cake and some fluffy handcuffs.

right, someone sort out a location, i'm off to the canteen to risk death.
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:56, Reply)

I expect photographic evidence
or it will not have happened.

On the original piece of paper with the shot experiment there's a small note from my flatmate;

"mushroom made everything ok"

So when drinking stupid thing, have a mushroom handy. It will negate the need to vomit.
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 13:59, Reply)

Hi Ancrenne
Didn't see you pop in before.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:02, Reply)

@ancrenne
The juxtaposition of the two sentences in my post may or may not have been accidental...
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:10, Reply)

Just suppose
I juxtapose with you..... ooh ooh...

sorry
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:14, Reply)

^
Pfft!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:15, Reply)

I'm starting
to think about the possibility of going and doing something worthwhile with my time.

Just thinking, mind.
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:18, Reply)

Getting back to boobies
because I like them, and because Al asked for some pictures -

here ya go!
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:19, Reply)

*dances in*
Afternoon all!

*shimmies*

*jazz hands*

I said jazz.
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:19, Reply)

@Baby Kitten
DVD? Who would want to watch us lot dancing naked?

Actually don't answer that, I'm sure there are people out there who would pay good money for it!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:20, Reply)

ooh, me, me, I would!
how are we all this afternoon?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:27, Reply)

i would want to watch us dancing naked
as i'm sure i'd be too merry to remember doing it :o)

canteen didn't kill me today, that's nice.
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:27, Reply)

May I moan about the hot weather yet?
Or is it too soon, even for an English* person?

*sort of, depending on how nationalistic I'm feeling
(

thealternativefact, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:33, Reply)

We could do a series of DVDs
One with just the girls, one with just the blokes, and a mixed one.

Caters for all tastes and maximises profits.

Edit @clendrix - no you may not. It's bloody freezing here today. I went out to post a letter at lunchtime and my nipples were nearly poking holes in my shirt.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:33, Reply)

K2k6?
It's bromide time.

You missed your dose last week.
(

Cawl, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:34, Reply)

@K2k6
Boobies are great. I like the male Blue Footed Boobies courting dance, it's all about showing the female that he does in fact have blue feet!

@HLT Hi there, I'm all kinds of good this afternoon, everybody has stopped giving me work to do. I would expect that you'd be in on the dancing as well, would you not?

@Baby Kitten So where would this dancing take place, pick a nice beach? Yes we would need the DVD as we would all be too drunk to remember.

@Clendrix Hello again.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:35, Reply)

I feel like the baby bear just now
Cos the weather here is just right

*smugs*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:36, Reply)

Bromide?
Nah, I'm off that. Gives me all sorts of strange thoughts. And none of the good ones.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:36, Reply)

hello herr dok
oh yes, dancing all the way thank you!

what IS bromide?

*innocents*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:39, Reply)

K2k6
You mustn't say things like that. You'll make me go as wobbly as Wookie is after a few pints.

Hello again Dok! I'm in and out like a fiddler's elbow today.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:39, Reply)

goddamnit
I wobbled once, getting out of a chair. I was fine after that, mostly.

Afternoon all.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:44, Reply)

Oops!
Didn't know you were lurking!
:)
(

thealternativefact, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:45, Reply)

K2k6
You missed out all the fetish people.

This could make millions I tells ya!

HLT a bromide ion is a bromine atom with charge of −1. It's also a anaphrodisiac.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:47, Reply)

Afternoon Wookie
How's tricks?

EDIT

@clendrix I could think of other things than a fiddlers elbow.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:49, Reply)

@clendrix
My nipples make you go wobbly?

*notes down*

@HLT - Bromide (see above) was allegedly added to the food of soldiers on the battlefield to stop them thinking about sex and concentrate their minds on the job in hand, as it were.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:50, Reply)

oh
right.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:50, Reply)

if...
i wanted to put a picture on my profile how would i do it? i have not done anything like this for years, i used to host stuff on photobucket to do it. i'm stuck. help?

i live close to southport beach...everyone else lives miles away i'm betting!

ooooooh, weekend beachy camping b3ta and that. yes?
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:52, Reply)

Baby kitten
Just use photobucket or www.b3tards.com, and you'll get a load of html to copy into your profile.
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:58, Reply)

I am upsettingly busy still,
so I'm not saying much. But I'm still here. I'm always here. Watching.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 14:59, Reply)

wookie
If I hadn't met you I'd be frightened

oh wait...
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:00, Reply)

@Dok
so can I, but I'm nice, so a fiddler's elbow it is.

@K2k6 - I seem to be generating a lot of entries into your notebook, most of them nipple-related. You'd think we'd be past all this flirtiveness after twenty three years.

edit: ^MM - haha
(

thealternativefact, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:00, Reply)

Shh, clendrix
Kaol might be lurking...
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:02, Reply)

I'm always lurking
Hahaha!
(

Cawl, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:02, Reply)

Thanks MM
I'll give it a go. will probably be back around here this evening having set my laptop on fire with the stresses of it all
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:06, Reply)

@Kitten
Believe me if I can get my picture up on here then you can.
(

girlinthehole, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:08, Reply)

Kaol and Wookie
like to hang around, watching. Always assume they're there.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:10, Reply)

@MM
I've met him too, and I'm frightened.

@Baby Kitten Southport beach? that's just down the road a bit from Blackpool, but up the road from Liverpool isn't it? Not everybody lives miles from there I'm sure of that, I on the other hand do.

A Weekend of b3ta, it's enough to make most peoples head go asplode.

Edit for piccy info. Photobucket gives you the HTML code to link to the piccy when you've uploaded it all you need to do is copy and paste that into your profile blurb.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:10, Reply)

/delurks
Someone mentioned nipples?

I used to have a nipple pierced. It fell out one day, and I lost the bar.

A few days later, I got a new bar, but i couldn't get it through. After a valiant attempt at repiercing myself, I gave up. I'm just not harcore enough.

Nipples: Not always a pleasant experience.
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:11, Reply)

DiT
After my nipple ring got drunkenly pulled out, I attempted to superglue my nipple back together around it.

Doesn't work btw.

Loving this QOTW though.
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:14, Reply)

Hello again Ancrenne
How's things?
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:18, Reply)

i'm gonna try my bestest :o)
Thanks for the words of support, they're much appreciated. (i really am wanko with technology)

Yeah, that's where it is Dr, and i know there is camping allowed there. well, not necessarily allowed, but overlooked. it's as good as.

once i get round to booking my driving test i won't mind the travelling so much, a b3ta piss up sounds like it would break my gigglebox.
(baby_kitten was loving your work on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:20, Reply)

B3ta-bashes
Are dangerous.
I'm a normal, quiet, fairly shy young man.
The London b3ta bash somehow turned me into a raging sex-fiend.
(

Cawl, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:23, Reply)

I love the OT board.
But QOTW is so much better.
This week is a blinder, stories, all the way!
(

Cawl, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:26, Reply)

@ancrenne
I'm all good this fine summers day, would be better if I wasn't stuck in an office but then I'm out of here in less than an hour now.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:32, Reply)

what have i missed?
I've been playing on the floor, making arty poster displays.

i *heart* my job!

edit @ ancrenne - and you'd be proud of me, I'm doing it barefoot too.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:39, Reply)

'noon all!
My lovely new dress has arrived, I've put a holding fee down on a flat and hopefully this means we get it as soon as I've got a character reference and everything signed after Thursday. And pass the physical.

Now all I need is for my parents to stop interfering, and some beer.
(

Maladicta, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 15:43, Reply)

'noon all
How are all the minions this afternoon?

Anything much exciting happening?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 16:03, Reply)

The minions are fine
I need to beat them a little more, but on the whole, no problems.

In other news, I really like the new QOTW.
(

Cawl, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 16:04, Reply)

I'm liking the look of it too
Need to get my memories brewing, and my fingers typing, and then some stories should appear.

I got my bike back today, wooyay! It makes me happy.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 16:06, Reply)

Yes,
this QOTW has many elements of Win.

Although I fear most of my stories will involve me getting hurt in some way.

But you all like that!
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 16:08, Reply)

Yay!
Hooray for Devil pain!
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 16:21, Reply)

*cries*
:'(
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 16:24, Reply)

*hugs*
Sorry. I just got a bit over excited.

This QOTW was made for me.
(

Madam Marlboro wonders if you've found her yet, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 16:29, Reply)

Yes
I'm rather enjoying this QOTW too, as I do lots of experiments on a daily basis, and can fit in some fun ones when no-one's looking.

Which is most of the time.
(

K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 16:31, Reply)

I'm going to limit myself
To a few longer stories this week.
Although...
Fuck!
I'm only QOTW-able tomorrow...
Then I'm off to ancrennes 'til Wed night.
Which is great, but not much time to answer this, the best QOTW in ages.
(

Cawl, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 16:37, Reply)

Have been in QOTW land
and saw that Frank is back.
B3ta - it's like an incurable disease.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 16:38, Reply)

@MM
It does seem to be... :)

Your new profile picture is very swish by the way.
(

Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 16:40, Reply)

*I've got the power!s*
*Exterminate!s*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 16:56, Reply)

I'm going home now
I'll be online ten-ish.
Catch you later, you filthy wretches.
(

Cawl, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 16:59, Reply)

Bye Kaol!
See you later!
(

thealternativefact, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 16:59, Reply)

@ al
Teh new dress is a work of epic wonderment - a floaty gothic creation that comes to just above my knees and looks amazing with clumpy goth boots.

How does one go about sucking one's own nipples through several layers of fabric?
(

Maladicta, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 17:02, Reply)

I am a shy creature.
Therefore, I think I'd prefer to post dress photos, and not having camera batteries to hand at the moment (didn't even find them for graduation, shamefully), the dress looks like this and the boots I bought the other week are black and clumpy and lace up at the back. They am lully.
(

Maladicta, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 17:17, Reply)

Nice dress
Me likey!

Don't think it would fit though
(

Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 17:37, Reply)

@Fireflier
At least try it on.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 17:42, Reply)

Well, the one I just linked to is a size 6
so not as accurate as there is no way on earth, bar a rift in the space-time continuum, that my norks would fit in a size 6 dress, but it is my new best thing.

Plus, Mr Maladicta will love it to bits.
(

Maladicta, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 17:47, Reply)

Y'know...
I was going to whip together one of my photoshops of me in that example dress, but I just don't think that it's the sort of thing i want floating round the interwebs. On a previous QOTW though there's one of me in a skirt...
(

Fireflier La la la la, not listening on, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 17:52, Reply)

I started up a new home for the evening
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post207327

Do come along.
(

thealternativefact, Thu 24 Jul 2008, 18:31, Reply)

I wonder how long before anyone realises
I've posted this here?
(

wanderlust, Sun 25 Jan 2009, 22:38, Reply)

No one seems to have noticed so far
Should I just carry on talking to myself?
(

wanderlust, Wed 28 Jan 2009, 17:06, Reply)

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