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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
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rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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Why is my Internet broken? KROOOOONNNREEEEEEEEEYYYYYYGG
Alrigjt?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 18:34,
146 replies,
latest was 11 years ago)
You have to manually turn the porn filter off now, it was in the news and that.
(
PsychoChomp, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 18:51,
Reply)
Do I need a porn wire?
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:15,
Reply)
I don't care.
I'm stuck in work.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 18:55,
Reply)
I need to do some work, but my Internet is fucked
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:16,
Reply)
Turn it off.
Then do nothing. Do not turn it on again.
(
Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:06,
Reply)
3G is your friend :o)
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:13,
Reply)
alright
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:17,
Reply)
Meh
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:23,
Reply)
it's okay
I've recovered from last night's bullying.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:25,
Reply)
I ain't seen nuffin guvnor
(
Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:30,
Reply)
first I had to fend off being lured into another of Hartley's fiendish traps, then Chompy published some deeply personal correspondence.
THEN he called me upset when he was sitting at home in just his y fronts and leather-style jacket while he sobbed about being dumped.
That boy is catching up with Frisbee in the 'no dignity' stakes.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:42,
Reply)
It's a fuckin jungle out there
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:51,
Reply)
innit doe
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:52,
Reply)
hur..hur..hur
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hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Sat 31 Aug 2013, 8:36,
Reply)
Because you're a prick.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:20,
Reply)
Can talk talk fix that?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:22,
Reply)
what's your favourite out of your own posts?
Mine is this one:
b3ta.com/questions/adverts/post703040
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:24,
Reply)
Star wars?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:28,
Reply)
Taxi Driver.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:29,
Reply)
Who is?
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:30,
Reply)
sporto's dad
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:35,
Reply)
No, he's a Paki Driver.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:37,
Reply)
Vain.
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:33,
Reply)
you can fucking talk
Not a day goes by without a reference to your income bracket. Srsly, you're like Chompy with a girlfriend, every chance you get to mention it.
Oh yeah, and you never ever ever mention your charity work.
You shining star you.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:36,
Reply)
he he he
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:37,
Reply)
se'sly dude
I genuinely do like that Gregor Fisher post. Ent being vain, it was a serious question. My favourite of yours is the Amazon/ porn story.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:39,
Reply)
That Amazon ting is a true story,
(not saying your post isn't).
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Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:40,
Reply)
I know yours is.
Mine isn't.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 19:42,
Reply)
Oh good, property chat has finished.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 20:19,
Reply)
How much is your house/flat worth?
Are you nearing the end of a deal? Are you looking for a great rate to lock into?
Maybe you're a renter, what about the next newbuild monstrosity you fancy moving to?
Or we could chat about whisky?
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 20:21,
Reply)
230k ish, 13 years of mortgage left.
I might sell up in the next couple of years, then we can talk percentages.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 20:24,
Reply)
210 ish
About to come off deal, 20 years left.
Might sell up and move in the next couple of years. Want a 3 bed semi with a decent garden. Currently got s 3 bed terrace with a tiny front garden and a back yard.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 20:31,
Reply)
Stop luring me into property chat you cheeky scamp!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 20:33,
Reply)
soz Frogglez xx
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 20:34,
Reply)
S'ok Hun x
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 20:36,
Reply)
Well this is all fascinating
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 20:34,
Reply)
If you like this, check out the earlier thread!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 20:35,
Reply)
alright yer
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 20:38,
Reply)
evening
I've just had a Lucky Chip burger in the Sebright Arms, it was v nice. Remembered too late that Hook Island Red is salty as fuck but I'm drinking Heatwave which is much nicer.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 20:51,
Reply)
Talking in code is fun!
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 20:53,
Reply)
google anything in capitals you spaz
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:27,
Reply)
alright LiC
I just opened a bottle of 2008 Moet.
Did you ever buy that whisky?
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 20:54,
Reply)
I just opened a can of 2013 Guinness
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 20:56,
Reply)
A fine vintage and no mistake.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 20:57,
Reply)
Do they allow you to drink, Frogsy?
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:00,
Reply)
Yeah a little bit.
I do love a beer, but I have gone right off it recently.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:00,
Reply)
ended up buying expensive wine instead
I will do though. Whisky Exchange has an offer on 10 year old Laddie.
(
The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 20:57,
Reply)
That is a great choice of whisky.
Cool packaging as well. Turquoise, innit.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 20:58,
Reply)
It has a funny name too!!!
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:01,
Reply)
Funny names are well lol. There should be more funny names.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:02,
Reply)
I like that bit in the newsletter where they have funny names like chinese people called wan king or websites called poobum.com thats well lol
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:07,
Reply)
one of the guys that did the music for Buffy the Vampire Slayer is called Thomas Wanker.
Imagine that!
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:10,
Reply)
That's the only bit worth reading.
Ivor biggun
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:10,
Reply)
Glen Garioch has a funny name.
It isn't pronounced how you'd expect it to be!
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:05,
Reply)
haha scottish people are funny
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:08,
Reply)
Somebody has to be.
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:10,
Reply)
Geerie, innit.
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:10,
Reply)
nah, Gayry
Suppose it depends on your level of teuch though, eh?
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:12,
Reply)
Hahaha. If you think onybody in Inverurie would ask for a large Gayry, yer aff yer heid.
You well?
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:14,
Reply)
nae bad like
In Kemnoid it wis eywis Gayry, ken? As in Chapel of Garioch. A hink so anyweh, ken fit like eh?
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:17,
Reply)
They're a' pooves in Kemnay. They were asking for Gary.
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:30,
Reply)
heh
Just gone outside for a fag and the server has come out with "Order for Rupert? Rupert?" Lo and behold he's a hipster prick.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 20:55,
Reply)
a friend in the wine trade
Has recommended the 2008 Dead Arm. Yet to try it but all the reviews are tip top.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 20:57,
Reply)
typically I get wine from the supermarket
Otherwise it's case delivery and I'd need to be in. There are a couple of classy Vintners in Bishopsgate though which is sort of on the way home.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:03,
Reply)
An excellent offie opened up in town last year.
High end vino innit.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:06,
Reply)
Get it delivered to work. If it's wine, folk think it's sophisticated.
If it's a hundred purple tins prepare for well-deserved abuse.
*slurping Tennents so red face smiley*
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:09,
Reply)
and carry 12 bottles home on the tube...
Don't sound like a good plan
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:29,
Reply)
Just take one a day and drink on the journey. Looks well sexy innit.
I saw someone drinking one of those very small bottles of wine from a china teacup on the train home today. Sophisticated.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:33,
Reply)
It would be terrible to use a mug, right enough. Like eating chips on a Sunday.
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:35,
Reply)
How common.
But who would think to bring a teacup on the journey?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:37,
Reply)
A teuchter.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:40,
Reply)
How quickly you forget your roots, you heathen.
A flask is what you seek.
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:42,
Reply)
nah, if you catch a long haul train at the crack of dawn and there's some pissed cunt downing tins of lager
The cunt's Scottish, mark my wordage yo.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:47,
Reply)
I know:(
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:48,
Reply)
This is true. Met a few of them.
One told a friend that 'he looks like a victim' and that he'd 'put an axe in yer face'
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:50,
Reply)
Boy Scouts.
"Be Prepared."
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:41,
Reply)
'Public drinking In a civilised manner' badge
Completed.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:43,
Reply)
Pwoud.
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:47,
Reply)
that's not a bad idea
The one a day I mean, not drinking it on the tube.
Although the last guy I knew with wine in his desk ended up with both gout and a written warning about bring drunk at work.
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The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:48,
Reply)
Poor Stunned
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:51,
Reply)
poor Andrew Marr.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:56,
Reply)
you work with Stunned?
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:52,
Reply)
Outside you say?
That's several this week. This place is going to the dogs.
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:06,
Reply)
d fr
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:15,
Reply)
Needeep for yer lives.
(
Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:16,
Reply)
The family have all fucked off early and abandoned me, despite knowing my fucking flight isn't until tomorrow night
Cornwall is very quiet and very dark. I am walking along a cliff top and feel as if I need something to be angsty about, it's all dramatic looking.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:14,
Reply)
you could be angsty about yer ginger gunt
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:16,
Reply)
You have a beautiful command of language.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:17,
Reply)
if it helps, I always pronounce 'ginger' to rhyme with 'minger'.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:19,
Reply)
Even betterer
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:19,
Reply)
This is correct, I think.
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:38,
Reply)
well of course it is.
I'm a Gordonian.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:41,
Reply)
Of course. I've got forty year reunion in September. If I last more than an hour before decking some grandiosed bastard I'll be surprised. I'm in good boy training mode. Nothing to do with dogs, BTW.
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:46,
Reply)
you left in 73?
Christ.
Was JJ there back then?
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:49,
Reply)
You mean the English teacher? Yeah, he was. Was very friendly with a pupil who became a prefect.
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:52,
Reply)
Yeah.
Bark worse than bite.
I liked him, we got on.
Dreadful rumours though.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:53,
Reply)
I liked him too but I was good at English so didn't get a hard time. He was a bastard towards some.
I don't think they were rumours.
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:56,
Reply)
I excelled at English.
Never got a hard time neither.
I think he asked me out once, thought he was joking.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:57,
Reply)
The Atholl was his favourite. He has now moved into a semi-sheltered flat. He was helped by ex-prefect.
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:01,
Reply)
Terrible temper on him.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:03,
Reply)
Yeah. It was "good for us."
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:09,
Reply)
Tiki iggy
Not quite the stuff of films, is it?
Well maybe the sort of films you watch, hoping for a glimpse of your mum doing your grandma.
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:17,
Reply)
nah, gunts put me off my technique.
Such as it is.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:19,
Reply)
You know, if your " technique" is so very bad that it causes physical pain
That is probably a good thing
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:25,
Reply)
hey, bumming hurts too you know.
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:26,
Reply)
No
No, unlike you, I do not
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:42,
Reply)
That's not what I've heard.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:43,
Reply)
Not even with a strap on if you were asked nicely?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:44,
Reply)
I don't care what dozer promised you
I still said no
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:50,
Reply)
Someone's been feeding me duff info.
Again.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:52,
Reply)
oh go on
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:52,
Reply)
Needs moar pizza.
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:11,
Reply)
I heard there was an escaped rapist on the loose in Cornwall
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tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:17,
Reply)
Nah they don't have pizza express down that way
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:48,
Reply)
you dreadful bully.
Fancy a pint in York next week?
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:51,
Reply)
Nah y'alright
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Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:53,
Reply)
Not again :'(
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:54,
Reply)
Weirdly, Newquay actually does
But it was empty. They were all queuing outside subway and kfc
(
rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 21:56,
Reply)
Queues for a foot long or a greasy bucket.
Decisions, decisions.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:00,
Reply)
Both, surely. With instructions.
"Place footlong in greasy bucket. Withdraw and do it again. Yes, I meant again.
Repeat until seagulls draw blood."
Fuck off and moan on Internet forum.
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:06,
Reply)
I went out with a Cornish lass at university.
We used to go shopping for trainers in Newquay. Decent skate shop there back in.the day.
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dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:00,
Reply)
Well that's work done 'till tomorrow morning.
Need beer.
(
JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:17,
Reply)
someone make my life less shit
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:29,
Reply)
You could be me. That's worse.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:31,
Reply)
in what way?
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:35,
Reply)
Dunno actually.
Cos I dunno what's shit about your life, but mine ain't fantastic at the moment.
What's up with you then?
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:37,
Reply)
Cavy meet frog. Frog meet cavy.
You're both feeling bad cos life's a right bastard, especially at night.
It does get better.
Don't pick the scabs.
(
Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:42,
Reply)
too late, I'm ripping bits of them off
for shits and giggles
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:43,
Reply)
YOURN an inspiration man.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:43,
Reply)
I'm tying the fuckin' noose as we speak, man.
Think I'll take the bacon out of the freezer, though. In case I need a salty pick-me-up in the morning. Not that.
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Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:49,
Reply)
*sniggers*
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:54,
Reply)
nothing I'm going to write on here
but let's just say the world is unfair, I never get what I want and wah wah wah wah wah
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:42,
Reply)
I agree.
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:44,
Reply)
icanhas.cheezburger.com/lolcats
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:44,
Reply)
that's just not working today
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:44,
Reply)
Do cat pics usually?
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MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:46,
Reply)
they can certainly leven ones mood
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:50,
Reply)
I would get drunk but I'm not allowed :(
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:54,
Reply)
i just want to punch walls until my hands bleed
but that'll just mean I have to fix the house afterwards
(
Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:55,
Reply)
Sensible that,considering the consequences.
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:58,
Reply)
Think it through. She might have to "get a man in."
Here to help.
(
Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 23:03,
Reply)
Cunning
(
MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 23:04,
Reply)
Caving For Tradesmen. 101.
Or...
(
Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 23:11,
Reply)
ok maybe this is more you
theberry.com/
(
localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 22:47,
Reply)
It's lovely to see you posting again.
*every little helps smiley*
(
Phudbree oh man, the Doric Yorick, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 23:25,
Reply)
alrizzle me nillas?
(
dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 30 Aug 2013, 23:38,
Reply)
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