At 7 o'clock this morning I walked out of my flat
and made my way to the bus stop. As I walked past the hotel by my gaff this Asian bloke stepped into my path. Here we go, spare cigarette, spare change etc I thought. He looked a bit mental and slightly dishevelled and had no lower teeth in the front of his mouth. Early-mid 20s at a guess. Usual beggar type. But I was very, very wrong:

'do you want a blow job, boss?'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:09, 115 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

You totes got one, didn't you?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:12, Reply)

Well, it seemed rude not to.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:12, Reply)

Did he take you up on your offer?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:12, Reply)

Sorry is no-one's head as done in by this as mine is?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:13, Reply)

I had a man whore offer me some "business" about 5 years ago on Commercial Street.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:14, Reply)

But...but...outside my house? At 7 o'clock in the fucking morning?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:16, Reply)

At least he'd taken his teeth out
Very forward thinking
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:19, Reply)

I am really rather disturbed by this event.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:21, Reply)

He prolly lives next door.
You are well off out of there, mate.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:22, Reply)

Was it free? If not how much is a blowjob from a toothless tramp?
Doesn't come up on google shopping.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:25, Reply)

£5
erm...I imagine.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:30, Reply)

So, like, £25 a week, and weekends off.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:34, Reply)

NO WONDER PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO WORK!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:35, Reply)

Tax free too.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:36, Reply)

Tail end of the night shift, innit.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:43, Reply)

Your head was done in alright!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:35, Reply)

I had heard that profits at greggs had plummeted

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:13, Reply)

And teeth had fallen out.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:14, Reply)

You get the bus? A new low.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:13, Reply)

Yeh, sorry about that.

( Peej, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:13, Reply)

Bless.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:21, Reply)

Yeh whatever, now do you want that blowjob or not?

( Peej, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:33, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2069591
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:42, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2069592
( Peej, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:46, Reply)

Did you invite him to join in here?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:42, Reply)

He's already on here, posts as 'Unremitting Ballache'

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:43, Reply)

You'd think after a night of man-whoring
he'd be 'Unremitting Arseache'
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:45, Reply)

Probably don't mention this when prospective buyers come round
...unless they look the type, you know.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:45, Reply)

the type like battered
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:51, Reply)

So what you're saying here is that you look like a queer.
This is not exactly news.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:45, Reply)

This is a new low for sportscow
Marnin'
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:50, Reply)

alright

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:51, Reply)

It appears so. 2 1/2 hours training today yesssssssssss !

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:54, Reply)

It takes 2 1/2 hours to lesrn to give a blow job?
Time well spent.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:58, Reply)

Excellent do yo uhave any information about this course
I will send my wife on it lololol
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:04, Reply)

I've never found her lacking in technique.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:06, Reply)

Textbook response.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:07, Reply)

Tips hat
I will set em up...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:16, Reply)

HELLOSIR?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:36, Reply)

If he hadn't been Asian you would have wouldn't you?

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 8:51, Reply)

This is what you get for living in the sin city
I always thought you London types were well used to random whores/ man whores, offering you their heavily used wares.

Maybe you could move to the Cotswolds
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:01, Reply)

I'd love to move out of London to somewhere like that.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:07, Reply)

Me too.
I think I might look more seriously at moving somewhere soon.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:08, Reply)

Tired of offering blowjobs to old hippies?

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:10, Reply)

The knockbacks get you down.
It's hard work out on the streets man.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:11, Reply)

as an essex boy
who lived in London for a while, I would never live there again. Yes you do get "the city that never sleeps bollocks" but at my age I like to sleep occasionally
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:17, Reply)

There are so many fucking idiots appearing where I live.
I just want to go somewhere quiet.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:19, Reply)

+ to nosh blokes off at breakfast time

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:19, Reply)

I want an early evening shift, they're hard to get.
Morning trade consists purely of frozen-pizza-eating, disheveled-roadie-looking, flat-selling-hippies who get buses.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:22, Reply)

Click

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:25, Reply)

I'm locked in though, due to my daughter.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:19, Reply)

Did she put the key on a shelf?

( hartley hare Just some prick who thinks it doesn't apply to him, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:20, Reply)

first lol of the day

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:21, Reply)

Yep... thats a cracker to be sure
Click
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:22, Reply)

Top quality internet, right there.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:51, Reply)

Bang on the window then, I'm sure a passer-by will help.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:20, Reply)

If only there was some form of metal box
Possibly with round items at each corner, and a controlled explosion at the front, that you could sit in and be able to move about the country
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:23, Reply)

That wouldn't work given I see her pretty much everyday. Plus, most jobs in my sector are based in London, don't want to spend all my time travelling.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:25, Reply)

Fucking hell it's boring at Gatwick airport.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:05, Reply)

It's never too early to start drinking in airports.

( wanderlust, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:16, Reply)

dri wa
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:18, Reply)

Remember Caroline the mad woman? I'm collecting her. Lucky cow has been to Cuba.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:18, Reply)

Jealous.

( wanderlust, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:21, Reply)

Innit.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:22, Reply)

Yeah, wish I was picking someone up at Gatwick

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:23, Reply)

Ha ha

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:23, Reply)

I was supposed to be at Gatwick this morning, I would have close enough to smell you

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:22, Reply)

CSB

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:23, Reply)

I would have given you a wedgie then run away

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:24, Reply)

You could have tried. However my barely controlled rage would have got the better of you.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:26, Reply)

going well then is it?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:28, Reply)

I'm alright. Just tired.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:49, Reply)

Ah justice
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-manchester-23935768

A new concern for the Chompster
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:05, Reply)

May have, but probably not.
Woman to Man transfer od HIV is harder.
( Peej, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:18, Reply)

Really
Phew...
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:24, Reply)

That's why it's 100% completely safe to go bareback with a brass.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:30, Reply)

My cleaner turned up at 10 to 8 instead of 8
Bit embarrassing as I was only half-ready. It didn't turn sexy though.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:09, Reply)

well he was planning on noshing someone off before hand, but got rejected

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:21, Reply)

she's a little Eastern European lady

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:23, Reply)

Sort of a mini poll?

( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 3 Sep 2013, 9:56, Reply)