People are fucking idiots.
Worse than that, they're fucking idiots for no purpose at all. I have no idea why anybody does anything.

This is car chat, btw, though it isn't immediately apparent. Fair warning to those that don't care.
( Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:56, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

so, everyone then?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:56, Reply)

It's really a loosely car-related general throwing up of hands at the idiocy of the public at large.

( Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:03, Reply)

oh well, we can all get on board with that
might have falafel for lunch. what has uxbridge got to offer today? lasagne at martins??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:12, Reply)

Dunno, I usually go to Pret and get angry at the stupid people in there, too.

( Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:15, Reply)

go to martins
have the lasagne and chips

fail to move for a fortnight
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)

No offence but Martin's looks shit and you're a notorious food-wrong.

( Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:23, Reply)

it's not shit
try it, you'll like it. it's proper home-made food.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:27, Reply)

Power steering woes?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:57, Reply)

Fucking courtesy light. This is probably the most ridiculous non-problem in the world, but here goes.
Courtesy light doesn't work. I figure it's the unit as something similar happened in my old car. I opened it up to find that somebody had cut the wire for the switch, inserted an extra length of wire, soldered it, then wrapped it in tape. The solder had come apart in the tape, which is why it wasn’t working. I cut off the unnecessary section, crimped the wire into a bullet connector and it all works again. I have no idea why anybody would do that.
( Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:00, Reply)

What's a courtesy light?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:01, Reply)

The interior light that comes on when you open the door.

( Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:01, Reply)

Oh. Never heard it called that before.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:02, Reply)

i don't know, but that's 3 minutes of your life that you'll NEVER GET BACK

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:02, Reply)

Not a fan of crimping stories then?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:03, Reply)

How slow a reader are you?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:04, Reply)

stupidly fast, as it happens
i can get through a book and a half a day on holiday. of course it helps when they only have pictures.

i was thinking of dr frog holding up his little webbed foot under each word.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:05, Reply)

Read it, read it, read it......

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:06, Reply)

Ha ha!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:10, Reply)

CLICK

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:10, Reply)

BIG webbed foot akshully

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:07, Reply)

but you're only 5'8
how big can your feet be?

it's dozer 2: return of the clowns
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:07, Reply)

11/12 HOBBIT WOES

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:09, Reply)

christ you must look like a capital L
or J, depending on which way you stand
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:12, Reply)

More of an upside down F.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:13, Reply)

with a very short middle stroke

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:15, Reply)

I can't work out why he'd have one leg two foot shorter than the other.

( Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)

because inbred

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)

Thalidomide

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:18, Reply)

Approximately one third of foot size.
Being generous.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:17, Reply)

Do you read every word?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:12, Reply)

yep, i just read incredibly quickly
i used to get told off in every new class at junior school, because the teachers didn't believe i'd read my library books, and thought i was sloping off to be naughty. it was great as a kid and for exams, but i don't think it does me any favours in my job, as i will read things really quickly, and inevitably have to go back over some of them - you just can't read the law quickly. it doesn't work.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:14, Reply)

I couldn't imagine reading that quickly.
I have to touch the screen to stop my ipad from auto-locking about 4/5ths of the way down a page on kindle, so I think it takes me about 5 minuites to page (not sure what default is)..... so a 450 page book would take me 37.5 hours.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:30, Reply)

Probably a sentence a minute, mouthing the words and asking for help from the carer.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:05, Reply)

One of the 12v sockets has stopped working in my car
Theres 2 but I want them both to work. I have checked the fuse but thats about as far is my knowledge gets.
( Peej, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:06, Reply)

when i had my beetle, the stereo would fuse for no reason whatsoever
after much investigation, to my dad's glee when he got the bill, it was something to do with wires in the "courtesy" light. some amateur restorer had wired the whole thing up very badly indeed.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:07, Reply)

I expect he crimped the wire into a bullet connector and it all worked again.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:09, Reply)

Crimp the wire into a bullet connector and it all works again.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:08, Reply)

Windy Pig's the new OT electrician, but my understanding is that it's all about having a complete circuit.
Check the joins, the earthing point is another common spot for failing circuits. Is it a cigarette type socket?
( Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:14, Reply)

Course it is you chimp.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:19, Reply)

He said he has two.
I don't know many cars with two cigarette lighters.
( Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:22, Reply)

Mine has. One in the front. One in the boot.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:24, Reply)

So all the people you kidnap can have a relaxing smoke whilst they're being driven out into the desert?

( Kroney, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:27, Reply)

dessert more like

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:30, Reply)

Yeah well my car goes
Brooooooom Vroooooom screeeeeee brooooom
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:19, Reply)

Good. Sounds like someone already crimped the wire into a bullet connector so it all worked again.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:20, Reply)

They sure did Jeremy Fisher
they crimped em good
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 12:23, Reply)

It passes the time before dying, that's why.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Sep 2013, 11:59, Reply)