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Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.
( , Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
« Go Back | Popular
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Have we done this yet?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-24278768
I reckon the obvious-bellend choice for Halloween getup will be Rolf Harris this year, they did Saville last year, what do you reckon?
Alt: What's annoying you today (aside from this thread).
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:13, 132 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
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And they should have to sing a song or something before getting any treats, like they used to do in porridgewogland.
Otherwise it's just demanding "treats" with implied menaces.
Also anyone taking part in any sort of "mischief night" should be shot on sight, or deported to the USA, if they like that shit so much then they should stay there.
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:19, Reply)
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I will probably spend Halloween in the pub because I prefer drinking to ignoring the doorbell.
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:25, Reply)
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the Dorises herd the kids round the houses and the blokes sit round a large fire, drink beer and talk shite.
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:36, Reply)
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Alt:
EVERYTHING. I have SPORTSRAGE today
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:22, Reply)
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Won't work in Ireland though, unless you can persuade a couple of mates to go along as well.
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:25, Reply)
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and that's exactly why I'm in fancy dress in my profile. Bent and a hypocrite.
Also, people should chill the fuck out and stop complaining and getting upset about shitting EVERYTHING. For fucks sake.
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:26, Reply)
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of that Miley Cyrus travesty that everyone's talking about. So possibly that.
Alt: was awake half the night trying not to puke, so definitely that. Managed to get to sleep about 6. Still feel shit.
In other news, good morning boys and girls. *puts on happy face*
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:29, Reply)
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I don't give a shit about loud music, that's fair enough. But I would prefer it if they shut the fuck up whilst waiting for their taxi, and again when returning from town.
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:31, Reply)
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get it raided by the drug squad. They'll soon learn to have them somewhere else.
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:35, Reply)
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( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:36, Reply)
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police can't seem to get a grip on it.
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:42, Reply)
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Although an all-nighter round mine with MASSIVE DRUGS might have to be in order round exam time to even the balance.
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:37, Reply)
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just opposite the Science Museum, and next to the French and a couple of other embassies. We were at a party there one evening and some pricks started throwing bottles into the street from a balcony.
So SO19 and some of the diplomatic protection squad turned up. Kicked the door in, sub machine guns, the works.
I tell you what, they never fucking did it again. And their mummies had some very stained underpants to wash.
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:39, Reply)
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It's things like this that can get the public back on the police's side.
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:42, Reply)
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alt: the fact that the vending machine only has ready salted hula hoops
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:45, Reply)
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She calls out to the man on the street
"Sir, can you help me?
It's cold and I've nowhere to sleep,
Is there somewhere you can tell me?"
He walks on, doesn't look back
He pretends he can't hear her
Starts to whistle as he crosses the street
Seems embarrassed to be there
Oh
Think twice
'Cause it's another day for you and me in paradise
Oh
Think twice
'Cause it's another day for you
You and me in paradise
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:48, Reply)
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would you like to touch the hem of my trousers?
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:52, Reply)
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If I ended up with that pile of shite as an earworm, you would Be Sorry.
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:50, Reply)
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( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:51, Reply)
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She wakes up early every morning
Just to do her hair now
Because she cares yeah
Her day oh wouldn't be right
Without her make up
She's never without her makeup
She's just like you and me
But she's homeless, she's homeless
As she stands there singing for money.
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
In my sleep I see her begging
Preaching please
Although her body is not mine
I ask now why God why
She's just like you and me
But she's homeless, she's homeless
As she stands there singing for money
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
She's just like you and me
As she stands there singing for money
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
Ooh
Ooh
Ooh
Ooh
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
La da dee la dee da
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:50, Reply)
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She wakes up early every morning
Just to do her hair now
Because she cares y'all
Her day wouldn't be right
Without her makeup
She's never had her makeup
She's just like you and me
But she's homeless
She's homeless
And she stands there
Singing for money
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:50, Reply)
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I punch some fucker in the mouth
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:53, Reply)
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I wake up every evening
With a big smile on my face
And it never feels out of place
And you're still probably working
At a nine to five pace
I wonder how bad that tastes
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:54, Reply)
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He works from 9 to 5 and then
He gets the night bus home again
To find me waiting for him!
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 10:56, Reply)
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Something got me started
You know that i will love you
Lately since we parted
I truely know that i need you
I'd give it all up for you
(yes i would)
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:00, Reply)
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Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Im begging of you please don't take my man
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Please don't take him just because you can
Your beauty is beyond compare
With flaming locks of auburn hair
With ivory skin and eyes of emerald green
Your smile is like a breath of spring
Your voice is soft like summer rain
And I cannot compete with you, jolene
He talks about you in his sleep
There's nothing I can do to keep
From crying when he calls your name, jolene
And I can easily understand
How you could easily take my man
But you don't know what he means to me, jolene
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Im begging of you please don't take my man
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Please don't take him just because you can
You could have your choice of men
But I could never love again
Hes the only one for me, jolene
I had to have this talk with you
My happiness depends on you
And whatever you decide to do, jolene
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Im begging of you please don't take my man
Jolene, jolene, jolene, jolene
Please don't take him even though you can
Jolene, jolene
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:02, Reply)
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=FhoM-dklMmE
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:03, Reply)
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Oh here we are and here we are and here we go
All aboard and we're hittin' the road
Here we go
Rockin' all over the world
Well gidy up gidy up and get away
We're goin' crazy and we're goin' today
Here we go
Rockin' all over the world
And I like it, I like it, I like it, I like it
I li-li-li-like it, li-li-li-li
Here we go
Rockin' all over the world
We're gonna tell your mama what you're gonna do
So come on out with your dancing shoes
Here we go
Rockin' all over the world
And I like it, I like it, I like it, I like it
I li-li-li-like it, li-li-li-li
Here we go
Rockin' all over the world
And I like it, I like it, I like it, I like it
I li-li-li-like it, li-li-li-li
Here we go
Rockin' all over the world
And I like it, I like it, I like it, I like it
I li-li-li-like it, li-li-li-li
Here we go
Rockin' all over the world
And I like it, I like it, I like it, I like it
I li-li-li-like it, li-li-li-li
Here we go
Rockin' all over the world
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:09, Reply)
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Baby, baby baby
Ee - ow...So you think I got on evil mind,
Well I'll tell you honey,
And I don't know why,
And I don't know why.
So you think my singing's out of time,
Well it makes me money,
And I don't know why,
And I don't know why, anymore - oh no.
So cum on feel the noize,
Girls grab the boys
We get wild, wild, wild
We get wild, wild, wild
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:14, Reply)
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Number One the day I was born was glam. As was the one after it.
It must be in my blood.
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:19, Reply)
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Well you can give me all your love
And anything else you got too
But don't pay it any mind
If it seems like I'm acting cool
Well you can dress me in your mirror
Give me kisses forever and a day yeah
But there's just one thing
You don't have to say
You don't have to say you love me
And you don't have to say any prayers
No you don't have to say you love me
Baby it's alright
Cos honey I don't care
Oh baby I don't care
Oh honey I don't care
Oh honey I don't care
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:09, Reply)
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It's so terrible, ybut ou need to stick with it.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=x-VZ2mrpBZs
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:15, Reply)
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I struggle to find the words to express how much I'd like to kick him until he were dead.
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:26, Reply)
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I`m going out tonight
And I`m going out drinking
Don`t bother waiting up
`Cause I`m coming home stinking
I`m tired of sitting `round
Watching my world going down
Gonna get kicked out
Of every bar in town
Cause I`m a punk and I`m belligerent
And I get drunk, now baby get in bed
Cause I`m a punk and I`m belligerent
And I don`t give a, give a, give a shit
If you mess with me boy
You better start thinking
Cause I`m a mean little sucker
And I`m coming out swinging
I`m coming down the street
And I`m lit up like a rocked
If I see your face again
Boy I`m going to sock it
Cause I`m a punk and I`m belligerent
And I get drunk, now baby get in bed
Cause I`m a punk and I`m belligerent
And I don`t give a, give a, give a shit
I`m tired of paying taxes
And footing all the bills
For all those fat slobs
Up on the capitol hill
If the president and cia
Don`t want me around
Get the dea cover and come
Shot me down
Cause I`m a punk and I`m belligerent
And I get drunk, now baby get in bed
Cause I`m a punk and I`m belligerent
And I don`t give a, give a, give a shit
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:35, Reply)
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when I went back to check those daps, they'd gone. Soz, and all that.
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:17, Reply)
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( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:18, Reply)
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But you've no idea where that cock has been.
You said you were careful, you never were with me.
I heard you did it four times but johnnies come in packs of three.
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:16, Reply)
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Don't want no short dick man
Don't want no short dick man
Don't want no short dick man
Don't want no short dick man
Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
Don't, don't, don't, don't
Don't want, don't want, don't want, don't want
Don't want no short dick man
Don't want no short dick man
Iny weeny teeny weeny
Shriveled little short dick man
Don't want,Don't want,Don't want,
Don't want,Don't want,Don't want,
Don't want,Don't want,Don't want,
Don't want,Don't want,Don't want,
Don't want,Don't want,Don't want,
What in the world is that thing?
Do you need some tweezers to put that thing away
That has got to be the smallest dick
I've ever seen in my whole life
I have ever seen in my whole life
Get the fuck outta here
Iny weeny teeny weeny
Shriveled little short dick man
Don't want,Don't want,
Don't want,Don't want,
Don't want
Don't want
Don't want
Don't want
Don't want
Uh! Uh! Uh!
Uh! Uh! Uh!
Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!
Uh! Uh! Uh!
Isn't that cute an extra belly button
You need to put your pants back on honey
Don't, don't, don't, don't, don't, don't
Don't, don't, don't, don't
Don't want,Don't want,
Don't want,Don't want,
Don't want no short dick man
Don't want no short dick man
Iny wee(x15)
Iny weeny teeny weeny
Shriveled little short dick man
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:17, Reply)
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North side , east side
Little Willy, Willy wears the crown, he's the king around town
Dancing, glancing
Willy drives them silly with his star shoe shimmy shuffle down
Way past one, and feeling alright
'cause with little Willy round they can last all night
Hey down, stay down, stay down now
'Cos little Willy, Willy won't go home
But you can't push Willy round, Willy won't go
Try tellin' everybody but, oh no
Little Willy, Willy won't - go home
Up town, down town
Little Willy, Willy drives them wild with his run-around style
Inside, outside
Willy sends them silly with his star-shine shimmy shuffle smile
Mama done chase Willy down through the hall
But laugh, Willy laugh, he don't care at all
Hey down, stay down, stay down, now
'cause little Willy, Willy won't go home
But you can't push Willy round,Willy won't go
Try tellin' everybody but, oh no
Little Willy, Willy won't - go home
Little Willy, Willy won't
Willy won't, Willy won't
Little Willy, Willy won't
Willy won't, Willy won't
Little Willy, Willy won't
Willy won't, Willy won't
Little Willy, Willy won't
Willy won't, Willy won't
Little Willy, Willy won't go home
But you can't push Willy round, Willy won't go t
Try tellin' everybody but, oh no
Little Willy, Willy won't - go home
Little Willy, Willy won't go home
But you can't push Willy round, Willy won't go
Try tellin' everybody but, oh no
Little Willy, Willy won't - go home
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:20, Reply)
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Twas on the good ship Venus,
By God you should have seen us,
The figurehead was a whore in bed
And the mast the Captain's penis.
The captain of this lugger,
He was a dirty bugger,
He wasn't fit to shove shit
From one place to another.
The captain's wife was Mabel.
Whenever she was able,
She'd fornicate the second mate
Upon the galley table.
The ship's cook's name was Freeman,
My God was he a demon,
He fed the crew on menstrual stew
And hymens fried in semen.
The captain had a daughter,
Who fell into the water,
We heard her squeal and knew an eel
Had found her sexual quarter.
The first mate's name was Carter,
By God he was a farter,
When the high winds would cease
They's use Carter to start her.
The second mate's name was Andy,
His balls were long and bandy,
We filled his arse with molten brass
For wanking in the brandy.
The cabin boy was Kipper,
A dirty little nipper,
We stuffed his arse with broken glass
To circumcise the skipper.
The captain's name was Morgan,
By Christ he was a gorgon!
Ten times a day sweet tunes he's play.
On his productive organ.
The captain's daughter Mable,
They laid her on a table!
And all the crew would come and screw
As oft as they were able.
"Twas on a Chinese station,
We caused a great sensation.
We sunk a junk in a sea of spunk
By mutual masturbation.
The third mate's name was Paul,
He only had one ball.
But with cracker he rolled terbaccer
Around the cabin wall.
The captain's daughter Mary,
Had never lost her cherry.
The men grew bold and offered gold
And now there's no more Virgin Mary.
Another cook was O'Malley,
He didn't dilly dally.
He shot his bolt with such a jolt
He whitewashed half the galley.
The boatswain's name was Lester,
He was a hymen tester.
Thru hymens thick he stuck his prick
And left it there to fester.
Another one was Cropper,
Oh Christ he had a whopper.
Twice round the deck, around his neck
And up his bum for a stopper.
The ship's dog's name was Rover,
The whole crew had him over,
We ground that faithful hound
From Singapore to Dover.
The engineer was McTavish
And young girls he did ravish,
His missing dick's at Istanbul
He was a trifle lavish.
A homo was the Purser,
He couldn't have been worser,
With all the crew he had a screw,
Until they yelled: "Oh no sir."
So now we end this serial,
Through sheer lack of material.
I wish you luck and freedom from
Diseases venereal.
The bosun’s name was Carter
He was a musical farter
He could play ‘God Save the Queen’ from beginning to end
And Beethoven’s moonlight sonata.
They spied whore upon the shore.
And off came shirt and collar.
In 20 minutes by the clock,
she'd made a thousand dollars.
The first mates name was Carter
By God he was a farter
When the wind wouldn't blow and the ship wouldn't go
they called on Carter the farter to start her
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:21, Reply)
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Well, first of all, I'd like to say fuck off, fuck off
(Fuck off, fuck off)
If you don't get it, why don't you go shove your head back up your ass
And don't waste my time I don't need your opinion, no
(Oh my God)
'Cause you don't know what it's like
You don't know what it's like
You don't know what it's like to be like me
You don't know so keep your mouth shut
Well this may come as kind of a surprise, surprise
(Surprise, surprise)
I don't like you and I don't care what you think about what I do
And most of all, I don't need your opinion, no
(Oh my God)
'Cause you don't know what it's like
You don't know what it's like
You don't know what it's like to be like me
You don't know so keep your mouth shut
Well, finally thats the way it is
I like something you don't and you're telling me it's shit
But it's a waste of time, you can't change our opinion
(We dont wanna be, you know what else?)
'Cause I don't know what it's like
I don't know what it's like
I don't know what it's like to be like you
I don't know so I keep my mouth
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:25, Reply)
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In conclusion Say a prayer for us
We must say goodbye If we meet again
Please remember Why we say goodnight
Take good care now All earth's children
Learn from wisdom's cry
Hear the unspoken
See without sight
Learn yourself inside
Media children pacified Information classified
Goverments hide behind religion
Kids like us get thrown in prison
We come to We come to
We come to our own conclusion [repeat]
In conclusion Please be wary
Where authority reigns Control tightens
As we sleep A false security
All our leaders Answer to silent bosses
Where profit fills their greed
Think before action Learn before acceptance
Decide what you should be
Media children pacified Crosses stand where the dead man died
Goverments hide behind religion Kids like us get thrown in prison
We come to We come to
We come to our own conclusion [repeat three times]
Say a prayer for us That we don't lose our way
While freedom lies there dying
We are there to hold it's hand
Take all the children holy To the river of dead
Make them drink it's waters Lonely so they can learn what we had
Media children pacified Information classified
Goverments hide behind religion Kids like us get thrown in prison
We came to We came to
We came to our own conclusion [repeat three times]
Goodbye Goodbye Goodbye-freedom
Goodbye
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:39, Reply)
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The bar I used to work in did the whole place out like a mental asylum one Halloween. Was it offensive? Was it fuck.
Nanny state ridiculousness.
I bet the Daily Mail has it as a black.
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:36, Reply)
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Yesterday I had financial woes involving a LOT of phone calls but eventually sorted. That's mine for the week, thanks.
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:37, Reply)
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It's fairly shit, but go with it.
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:38, Reply)
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Emily took to flight
On see-through wings of white
Over the seven seas careened
In beauty yet unseen
A withered rose in bloom
A blooming rose of doom
Scattered all around
For the heavens to abound
And like the sweetest cream
With lovliness extreme
Emily went to play
On that sacred day
One love in red who loves darkness
One love in white who loves darkness
One love in black who loves darkness
One love supreme who loves darkness
One little butterfly who loves darkness
One tear to cry who loves darkness
One billion angles loves darkness
'Cause even God loves darkness
Emily went to play
When gold turned into clay
The morning drain the night
Of all beauty left in sight
And soaked in reality
Of not much more to see
She disappeared into the haze
In her own peculiar ways
And like the sweetest cream
With lovliness extremee
Emily went to play
On that sacred day
( , Thu 26 Sep 2013, 11:46, Reply)
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