Good evening shitlickers.
Why are you an internet shut-in this evening? I have a good excuse; micro is asleep upstairs, worn out from a birthday party full of white middle class ponces talking about prep schools & house prices.

Do you hate these sort of people?
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:28, 116 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I'm a shut in because I'm tired and also saving money
Only as much as I dislike anyone. I do think anyone who needs to talk about how expensive the schools/clothes/whatever of their offspring is, is desperately insecure though.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:33, Reply)

Finished work a couple of hours ago
and I'm now contemplating an evening in front of the TV with alcohol.

Oh, and I've broken a filling.

I hate ALL sorts of people.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:37, Reply)

Teeth pain. Nasty. Almost as bad as earache.
No booze for me; I don't drink & parent.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:38, Reply)

Fail

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:25, Reply)

I was supposed to be out but my friend is pregnant and I'm I'll, so didn't want her to catch it

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:37, Reply)

I don't think retard is catching, to be honest.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:38, Reply)

Whoa whoa whoa :((((

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:39, Reply)

Soz huni x

What's up with you then? AIDS, or something worse, like Man Flu?
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:40, Reply)

Mild head cold
That turned into horrible chest infection/cough because I am a chest spastic
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:43, Reply)

Do you have good drugs?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:47, Reply)

Not that I can take with a blocked up nose

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:50, Reply)

Keep warm, keep hydrated, rest.
Best thing you can do for a cold. Take guaifenesin to get the shit off your chest. Paracetamol for the headache, sore throat, and to bring down any high temperature.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:55, Reply)

I have diet coke and lemsip :(
I am not very good at being sick. Yours sounds much more sensible.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:57, Reply)

sick

thin
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:58, Reply)

Lemsip is good
for everything but the cough. If there's anything on your chest, you need to get it out, otherwise you'll end up with a chest infection. and nobody wants one of those.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:58, Reply)

I think it might be too late
Everything I pick up goes straight to my chest. Colds, coughs, boy toys...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:10, Reply)

+ Chompy

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:11, Reply)

Urgh don't
There are seamen trying to tune in radios with more finesse and gentleness
( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:12, Reply)

Ha ha! 'I like this!'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:13, Reply)

*shudders*

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:14, Reply)

I'm a BIG fan of a that old 'Honey, Lemon, Ginger, Hot Water and Brandy' Cocktail.
I don't get why I only drink it when i'm el'sicko.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:33, Reply)

Ginger on the other hand...

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:40, Reply)

Your poor daughter.
She's either going to get the deranged ginger gene or the tiny alcoholic gene.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:42, Reply)

If she turns out like either I'll stick her on eBay,

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:43, Reply)

Did your wife have a good-looking tennis coach?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:45, Reply)

Yes.
Me.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:29, Reply)

Good evening Battered off the Internet
I am currently shut in as I am not allowed to be released into the community until half eight, at which point I shall be necking lager and chasing clunge down the boozer.

I was unfortunate enough to go to a middle class barbecue over the summer, it was shit. I had to be shown around the new house which was terrifically boring, and pretend I had views and opinions on important social and political matters, which I don't. I would not go to a similar function again, although I have found invitations to this sort of nonsense increases with my thinly disguised occasional outing of 'being an adult'.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:45, Reply)

i realised Green Man might not be entirely where I belonged
when I overhead a posh woman saying "Isis! Don't walk in the mud!"
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:46, Reply)

Christ! Aren't posh people absolute wankers?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:50, Reply)

i kind of felt sorry for another woman with her 1 year old in
the knitting tent (yeah) who was clearly so insecure she kept going on about how she was going to teach her little boy knitting and crocheting, although couldn't do it herself and didn't want to learn.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:53, Reply)

I hope for their sake, and the worlds, you stoved both their heads in with a shovel.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:57, Reply)

yes, because anyone who is not like me should die

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:01, Reply)

That's the spirit!

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:07, Reply)

Quite a coincidence for you to meet Mrs Nakers.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:51, Reply)

I'm not a shut-in
Just off out for dinner in Kenilworth.
Laters!
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:46, Reply)

WOAH! Kenilworth!!!!!!
Life in the fastlane. I'm sure everyone will see the pictures in Hello magazine very soon.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 19:53, Reply)

he's going lootin

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:37, Reply)

evening all
I've risked life and limb putting up a fucking massive light in the hallway/stairs

As I'm not dead I'm having Aspalls cider
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:27, Reply)

is it all finished?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:27, Reply)

it is indeed

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:46, Reply)

woo!
i bought 3 big metal files from B&Q today. Totally testosterontastic
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:54, Reply)

I needed both a new hacksaw AND moar screws
Rargg!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 21:20, Reply)

How manly.
Apart from the cider, obviously.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:32, Reply)

Hello luscious

( rachelswipe with a fork, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:35, Reply)

good evening my dear

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:47, Reply)

I always find it weird when i'm in homes that have stairs these days.
I hardly go to anyone these days who have them at home.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:36, Reply)

Alright Battered? I went to an evening put on by the wife of "Bim's Kitchen" yesterday, it was quite good but I ended up mugging myself by spending £25 on what amounts to 3-4 condiments.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:35, Reply)

Good African food can be superb.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:36, Reply)

I've always dismissed it because i'm not a fan of Stews, but I really should give it a proper shot.
I live about 5 min walk from a market I go down to on a saturday to have a mooch, and there's a [not sure entirely; Caribbean or African]-Van that has some pretty tasty looking Patties.

Levi ain't got shit on Bim though, deffo.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:39, Reply)

Levi is a talentless marketing exercise.
Albeit a profitable one.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:43, Reply)

Gotta hand it to him, he was the first. If it wasn't for Dragon's Den or his singing nobody would remember his name today.
But when it comes to food, he really isn't my cuppa. His food looks textureless and he uses Scotch Bonnets like a frenchman would use onion.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:52, Reply)

I love scotch bonnets. Nice & sweet.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:55, Reply)

NO BONNETS CHAT!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:56, Reply)

oh :(
how will i keep my 19th century head warm?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:58, Reply)

A Wig!

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:59, Reply)

or a whig

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 21:02, Reply)

According to this, 4 is my limit.
homecooking.about.com/library/weekly/blhotchiles.htm

I got a mate who sends back a Phal if it's not done properly and doesn't break a sweat. White girl with no asian inflence, she just doesn't seem to be effected by the stuff.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 21:26, Reply)

I had a curry made with naga/ ghost ones a couple of weeks ago. Fantastic.
Until the following morning...
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 21:39, Reply)

Mind you, I also enjoy a mild curry at times; particularly goan fish curry & also egg curry.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 21:40, Reply)

I'm in mainly because I live in Cornwall
but also because I am fucked on homemade cider. I took little StandsWithaFist to a birthday party today. it was my favourite type where I dropped her of and came back a couple of hours later. However I did bump in to my secondary school crush who at the time I would have given my right nut to fuck but now don't fancy in the slightest.
( Peej, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:42, Reply)

yes

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:50, Reply)

Blousie says you're all cunts and she's glad she never comes here anymore.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:54, Reply)

Sneak her the finger, then stick it in her ear.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:55, Reply)

Righto chief.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:58, Reply)

Tell her it takes one to know one.
And then squoosh her tits for me.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:55, Reply)

she's right, you know

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:57, Reply)

I went and saw some Roman shit and some Richard III shit today.
It was well dull.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:56, Reply)

isn't there a tautology in there?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 20:59, Reply)

I'm debating on booking train tickets to Edinburgh on new year's day.
£3.75 each way. Personally I think this is overpriced; I got them for £3.10 last year.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 21:01, Reply)

I need to book tickets for Liverpool at the end of November.
I'm trying to gauge when is the best time to get a good price.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 21:02, Reply)

Set up an alert.
Generally it's 3 months before you need to travel that you have to book.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 21:04, Reply)

Well, I'm going in six weeks' time
so that's good.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 21:04, Reply)

Yeah, you're screwed.
Soz.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 21:05, Reply)

Excellent.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 21:08, Reply)

When you're there please urinate on my mother-in-law's doorstep & have a steaming dump on my father-in-law's windscreen.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 21:05, Reply)

Gaz me the address and I'll see what I can arrange.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 21:06, Reply)

I am going out with greeks
they said 10:30-11 so I'm going going with 12-1230
( glued eel /questions/questionsyoudliketoask/post1648081, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 21:23, Reply)

That would be about right.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 12 Oct 2013, 21:25, Reply)

I'm drinking Pumpking beer from Aldi
it's a bit shit but combined with the chilli I've just eaten it's a bit more bearable

I had a life outside of the house at some point in my life, possibly sometime in the nineties, but now I just try to get drunk enough to put up with saturday night tv. Might watch Arachnophobia later.
( Bill Clay a.k.a. Claudio, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 21:35, Reply)

you are the pump king 'bill clay'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 12 Oct 2013, 22:49, Reply)