For the first time in years I won't have to spend it with my cunt inlaws in Edinburgh, where 14 people sit down wearing fucking jackets & ties for a catered lunch & where the gifts (even for children) aren't opened until about 7pm.
This year I have micro all Christmas Eve & Christmas Day before she then goes to Scotland for a week. I shall do a full traditional Christmas with her - tree, stocking, mince pie for Santa etc. The fucking lot. She'll get a few gifts from me, but nothing OTT - I don't want to raise a spoiled child.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:45, 3 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

\o/
I dont get the whole thing about waiting for your presents on Christmas Day. AS a kid it was great getting up and opening all your presents in a massive mess of wrapping paper.

We have booked the Santa train for 10:40am on Christmas Eve then the panto for the afternoon
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:47, Reply)

Oh no you haven't.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:49, Reply)

^^TGGI

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:53, Reply)

Best days of your life
"ITS BEHIND YOU!"
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:57, Reply)

well this is depressing
when read together
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 10:00, Reply)

That was indeed TJ

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 10:02, Reply)

yeah well
thanks for that
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 10:06, Reply)

*70's panto star dressing room flashbacks*

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 10:03, Reply)

i agree with delaying opening presents, although not staring at them all behind bars until 7pm
that's why ours were staggered throughout the day, as otherwise kids rip all the paper off, get totally overexcited for 30 mins, don't take anything in, don't appreciate it properly, and then spend the rest of the day in a totally irritating anti-climax.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:48, Reply)

I think what I'll do is her stocking after breakfast & then other gifts after lunch. Rather vulgar to everything within 5 minutes of waking up.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:49, Reply)

They don't give that much of a shit about it at her age anyway

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:50, Reply)

well no
not when they're unwrapping a home knitted scarf and a can of chickpeas
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:51, Reply)

We don't wrap them, the wood nymphs hang them from the trees

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:52, Reply)

excccceellent

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:59, Reply)

that sounds nice
it's too much to take in otherwise. and it means you can really enjoy watching her open stuff, rather than a whirlwind ripping off paper and then being down because it's all over.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:50, Reply)

I may well dig my video camera out, so I can embarrass her when she is older with the footage of her being excited.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:55, Reply)

definitely
and also it will give you something to sob over when she's 15 and spotty and spends her life in the bathroom and hates you because you won't let her wear a miniskirt/smoke/shag her boyfriend in your house.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:58, Reply)

HA HA.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:59, Reply)

It is most amusing to watch Christmas Day videos

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:58, Reply)

When the grandkids were little
they were allowed something like three presents a day, which meant their huge pile of stuff under the tree lasted them almost till they went back to school.

I'm not sure that isn't a tad excessive, but they're definitely not spoilt, and when you do give them anything, they're genuinely gracious about it.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Tue 29 Oct 2013, 10:00, Reply)

Your inlaws sound delightful.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:50, Reply)

Utter cunts. Being dragged to the morning service at the cathedral etc.
The first Christmas Day with them I suggested I might pop out for a quick pint before lunch. You'd have thought I'd shat all over the turkey from the looks I got from them.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:53, Reply)

No one likes to see their daughter married to an alcoholic though, do they?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:55, Reply)

POW!

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:55, Reply)

Crimbo lunchtime pint is traditional!

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:58, Reply)

did you say "i" or "we"?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 9:58, Reply)

They pride themselves not having been to the pub in all the 40+ years they've been together. Pubs are for 'manual workers'.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 10:00, Reply)

hahaha pretentious twats

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 10:02, Reply)

I fucking hate them.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 10:10, Reply)

drop me their address.
I'll arrange for some "manual work" for them
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 10:10, Reply)

Just look for the biggest cunts on Heriot Row.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 10:13, Reply)

Oh come on.
I'd never be able to decide.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 10:14, Reply)

what?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 10:14, Reply)

Posh part of Edinburgh.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 10:18, Reply)

It was a Herriot Watt joke

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 10:19, Reply)

Meh.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 10:20, Reply)

r
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 29 Oct 2013, 11:00, Reply)

I once went to a dinner party at a place on Heriot Row
it was at the Aunts of my then girlfriend, I met the sub editor of the Guardian (Scottish edition)

I just put this out there in case I bonked your missus before you met her.

More interesting facts as they happen
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 10:54, Reply)

As opposed to after he met her, like the rest of us?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 11:02, Reply)

Sexy train time

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 11:03, Reply)

All aboard!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 11:11, Reply)

chooo choooo

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 11:16, Reply)

RIP my niggah

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 29 Oct 2013, 11:21, Reply)