Slaps
Have you ever been slapped round the face or slapped someone round the face?

Alt: beer or wine?
(Stibbins, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 14:28, 50 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Last night a DJ saved my life.
Turns out he was an off-duty paramedic playing some records for his mates.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 14:37, Reply)

Just been to the shops and a weird-looking guy tried to sell me small models of Wonder Woman and Supergirl.
I think he's a heroine dealer.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 15:08, Reply)

I've got three wives.
That's big of me.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 15:10, Reply)

Your mum's a slapper.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 15:03, Reply)

No, your mum is.
(Stibbins, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 15:06, Reply)

his mum's the best one on here

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 15:45, Reply)

alright stibbo

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 15:07, Reply)

No but I've been swung around by the TITS!!!!!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 15:07, Reply)

That sounds nice.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 7 Nov 2013, 15:39, Reply)

There is nothing nice about Stunned's tits.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 15:41, Reply)

There is
They are 300 miles away
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:02, Reply)

That's nice, innit.
When are next coming down to London? Mincer says you are partial to a curry.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:11, Reply)

Dunno
I've just been collared to go to Edinburgh tomorrow
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:12, Reply)

I have never been to the land of the jocks.
I want to go to the Edinburgh festival next year though.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:13, Reply)

make sure you get your jabs before venturing that far north

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:19, Reply)

alright shit poster stibbins,
i was slapped by a girl once because i called her a stupid slut, and i have hit a few people, but i don't think any of it was slapping.

alt: depends dunnit, sometimes beer, sometimes wine.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 7 Nov 2013, 15:38, Reply)

Fuck off WP
its a well know MEDICAL FACT that gingers don't have the wrist strength to throw a proper punch, ergo it must have been a slap
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 15:50, Reply)

Rusty wrists

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:02, Reply)

My mate and I, drunk, got to the tube station. Halfway down, he sat on the escalator handrail, slid down, and landed perfectly. Player!
So I did the same. At the bottom was a woman just walking past. I knocked her - quite literally - flying - she flew a couple of metres, crashing to the floor.

I fucking shat myself.

She got up, and LAMMED me across the face.

I stuttered my apology - at once ashamed, frightened I'd done her real damage, and overjoyed that I clearly hadn't, and she LAMMED me again, backhand.

My mate tried to stick up for me and got exactly the same.

Humourless bitch - explaining to Mrs V that I'd got a black eye from a woman slapping me 'round the face was fun, too.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 15:42, Reply)

Double slap deserves a hoof in the cunt, and no mistake

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 15:45, Reply)

CUNTPUNT

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:02, Reply)

I'm not sure I've ever been slapped or slapped, Mr Stibbins
I've been fucking tempted a few times though

Alt:
Beer in pub, wine in house
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:02, Reply)

Alright Amy.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:07, Reply)

You are part of the rebel alloiance!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:10, Reply)

YARR

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:11, Reply)

They tried to send me off to abattoir
I say no, no, no
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:11, Reply)

I am glad she's dead. Oxygen thief.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:12, Reply)

Anorexic horse wasn't a good look, really

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:14, Reply)

In her earlier days circa "fuck me pumps"
she looked all right, fewer shitty tattoos and a bit of body shape... The old smack diet isn't a good one.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:18, Reply)

I bet she fucking stunk

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:19, Reply)

Acrid sweat, arse, booze and fags. Pissy nethers nairy washed from one week to the next.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:23, Reply)

Keep going...

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:24, Reply)

Matted, greasy hair that smelt like week old rugby kit out of a satchel

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:25, Reply)

Oh yeah

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:26, Reply)

^gay^
Week old rugby kit gets you off
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:27, Reply)

Sticky pubes with a residue that looks and smells like Patum Peperium Gentleman's Relish

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:32, Reply)

grim
You'd have to chew your way in
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:32, Reply)

You'd have to have lots of spittle to get it to dissolve.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:35, Reply)

Belt sander

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:35, Reply)

I thought she looked OK before the smack.
Pretentious Camden Smack Horse put me off.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:20, Reply)

Yeah, their 3rd album really was shit

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:21, Reply)

meh

(how long does it take to delete an account anyway? Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail Frog! Hail F, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:27, Reply)

alright quentin

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:29, Reply)

*sharp intake of breath*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Thu 7 Nov 2013, 16:32, Reply)