Idiocy
Apart from some of my statements on here, give us some examples of idiocy you have seen recently.

www.standard.co.uk/news/uk/itv-daybreak-viewers-left-baffled-by-wrong-time-on-1-channels-clock-8938944.html

These thick cunts have a twitter page dedicated to them @DaybreakDimwits

alt. Any nice food plans over the weekend?
I'm looking at some German Cuisine to go with the Christmas Market food and drink I will be getting tomorrow.

altalt. How good are you at D.I.Y (no, not masturbation, you're all wizards at that)? I'm contemplating wrecking my flat next year but have no idea how to go about it.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:28, 160 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

altalt: won't be the first time you've smashed in some back doors.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:34, Reply)

Might be the first time he's 'torn up some carpet' though.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:37, Reply)

SAY YOU LIKE EATING RED CARPET

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:37, Reply)

giggety

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:37, Reply)

It will certainly be a trip down memory lane

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:38, Reply)

Getting your hands round some new tools eh?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:41, Reply)

Well I, for one, am shocked to learn that viewers of daytime ITV are a bit thick.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:48, Reply)

Ugh. Here you go again.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:49, Reply)

ITV viewers being a bit dim?
Whouldathoughtit?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:48, Reply)

Just meant to be a bit of fun.
You know, to stop this place going down the pan, have a bit conversation, banter, light laughs on a Friday.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:50, Reply)

It was a comment regarding a general stereotype about ITV viewers more than anything.
To be honest, the article writes its own responses.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:52, Reply)

Do gays have periods?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:53, Reply)

Dunno. They're a bit of a mysterious lot, what with their deviant practices and sense of colours.
I'd go with a 'yes'.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:57, Reply)

Don't mean to have a pop at you Davros.
Tangles is a windup merchant of late and Im biting.

Unless he corrects everyone and I miss it.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:56, Reply)

I miss a lot these days, GeordieJeans.
I'm only here right now as I'm doing some work at home before I fuck off to Manchester this afternoon.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:58, Reply)

You just make more mistakes than everyone else

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:59, Reply)

+ put together

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:00, Reply)

BITCH

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:08, Reply)

the dude lives in a coventry yurt and thinks coleslaw is an exciting culinary masterpiece
he has to make himself feel superior SOMEHOW
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:06, Reply)

I get this now.
It's BECAUSE I am being corrected by a dull yurt prick that gets me so riled.

This would never happen in real life.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:10, Reply)

It's just possible, J, that you are the one who needs to lighten up here.
Maybe turn 360 degrees and walk away from the computer for a bit?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:53, Reply)

If I turned 360 I would be facing the computer again
hth xx
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:55, Reply)

I believe, once again GJ, TTJ
HTH xx
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:56, Reply)

Oh fuck it.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:57, Reply)

I am the sort of fool who would watch ITV daytime television given the opportunity.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:55, Reply)

This doesn't surprise me.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:55, Reply)

That's because you are a miserable negative snide cunt.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:57, Reply)

^^ TGGI

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:57, Reply)

You say that like it's a bad thing

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:58, Reply)

Oh? I'm sorry if it came across that way.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 10:59, Reply)

alright

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:00, Reply)

Alright Dozer?
To answer your question to me, that I've just seen, I answer to either.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:00, Reply)

yer
The boiler man has just fixed my heating so I am basking in heat. I now need to put my kitchen cupboards back together :'(
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:04, Reply)

if you were a real man
rather than a hamster noncing nancy, you'd have been able to fix your own boiler.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:05, Reply)

He isn't Gas Safe registered, and although he is allowed to work on the appliances in his own property, where gas and possibly CO are involved it's best left to the professionals.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:07, Reply)

stop touting for business

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:08, Reply)

I'm not, I'm saying he did the sensible thing by getting someone to measure efficiency of combustion and levels of pollutant gases properly,
setting up the boiler to work efficiently, and leaving it safe for use. Instead of 'being a man', possibly endangering himself and others.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:11, Reply)

it was the water pipes, not the gas one

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:09, Reply)

Oh well, fuck what I have been saying just merely to disagree with Swipe, you should have done that yourself, you big fanny.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:12, Reply)

she's a hippo featured attention slut

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:13, Reply)

^this

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:14, Reply)

just to disagree with swipe?
I hope you stand on a fork and die
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:15, Reply)

*upturned plug

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:17, Reply)

upturned butt plug

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:18, Reply)

Go fork yourself

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:18, Reply)

get forked

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:20, Reply)

====E

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:21, Reply)

sign o' the tines

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:22, Reply)

well that's not very knife

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:20, Reply)

I've just had to punctuate my morning with unblocking the bog.
I've informed the missus she'll need to buy a new pair of marigolds.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:06, Reply)

who blocked it in the first place?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:07, Reply)

Well, it weren't me that's fo sho.
However, desperate times called and all that so I had no choice. Compared with going to Manchester later it was a picnic.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:14, Reply)

thou who blocks it unlocks it
should be the motto
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:16, Reply)

I agree, however these were extenuating circumstances forced on by last night's curry.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:23, Reply)

Basically I'm saying I needed a massive shit.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:24, Reply)

how delightful

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:25, Reply)

It was magnificent. Would have brought back memories for you.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:26, Reply)

I fixed a broken latch on my living room door yesterday.
For a guy that hasn't ventured past changing a lightbulb, this is quite an achievement.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:09, Reply)

I bet it's not the first time you've 'got a little man in' if you know what I mean.
You disgust me, you repugnant bender.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:12, Reply)

I'm listening to this, recommended by a man who knows about these things
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stunts,_Blunts_and_Hip_Hop

S'pretty good. You a fan?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:08, Reply)

blunts?
JAMES BLUNT?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:09, Reply)

no.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:12, Reply)

rhyming slang

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:25, Reply)

I'll listen later
You should check out Divine Styler.

Start with Divine Intervention, a track that he did with Shadow for Quannum.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:12, Reply)

Up next.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:34, Reply)

man, i love spicy salt
is there anything (savoury) that it doesn't improve?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:01, Reply)

you had psychochomp's cock up your arse

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:03, Reply)

you could say that from now until christmas day morning
2016.

it still wouldn't be true, however much you wank yourself to a frothing bloody stump over the thought.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:04, Reply)

Clickin dis

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:05, Reply)

so did you

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:10, Reply)

I refer the honourable gentleman back to my remarks of a few days ago vis à vis people today being thick.
I'm constantly astounded by the stupidity of the general populace, even though I should really be used to it by now.

Alt: Go for South Germany. Their cuisine is awesome. Also, lebkuchen. The staple of any decent xmas celebration.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:07, Reply)

Yes it did seem familiar as I typed.
Was just a bit current with the Daybreak nobbers.

and me being corrected
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:15, Reply)

Someone here turned up to work late for just this reason.....
Alt:
Gonna have me some pizza tonight I think, then off to start buying nice food/drink for Christmas

AltAlt:
With all the stuff to do in my house, I've had to learn lots of DIY. Flooring, boarding, tiling, demolition, etc.
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:08, Reply)

we have a team lunch today
at pizza express. so no breakfast and no dinner for me today.

#pizzasnake
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:09, Reply)

Are you going to have to sleep with the whole team?

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:11, Reply)

oh zing!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:12, Reply)

I'm surprised I was the only one, actually.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:13, Reply)

one gay guy, one married guy, one girl
so yeah, but it won't take long
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:12, Reply)

But enough about your previous partners.....

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:13, Reply)

Hahahaha

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:13, Reply)

oh man :(

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:17, Reply)

HA!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:15, Reply)

well fuck me, that's actually a thing
www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/pizza-snake
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:12, Reply)

Thats pretty cool

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:13, Reply)

No it isn't.
Why are all American recipes shit?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:16, Reply)

i think kids would like it

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:17, Reply)

^FIDDLER^

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:18, Reply)

this^

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:18, Reply)

Probably, but kids are pricks with no taste.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:22, Reply)

are have
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:39, Reply)

which one?
Ill wave through the window...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:14, Reply)

IT'S ALARMINGLY NEAR YOUR OFFICES
no creepy internet window waving
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:17, Reply)

waving licking
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:19, Reply)

it could be 1 of 2
I ent waving my willy all over london
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:26, Reply)

+ again

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:28, Reply)

well, you go to 1
and i'll go to the other, and we'll not do pizza

AGAIN
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:29, Reply)

What will you wave though? Arse or penis?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:18, Reply)

his trousers above his head, like a red flag of freedom

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:19, Reply)

Is it a Yiddish holiday today? The soft play centre is full of the little bastard Red Sea pedestrians.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:21, Reply)

Shalom!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:31, Reply)

Everybody loves a little casual racism.
Personally, it's the Welsh I can't stand. I could do without the Scots too, but I daren't look too closely at that one else I may spiral into a pit of self-loathing.
( Kroney, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:32, Reply)

Fuck you, Gaston.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:34, Reply)

Sorry, I couldn't make out what you said through the thick, drink-slurred monkey accent.

( Kroney, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:46, Reply)

I've settled on Goulash
for those of you who were wondering... (none of you)
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:31, Reply)

i love vegetarian goulash
mmm paprika
( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:33, Reply)

oul
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:40, Reply)

urgh

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:42, Reply)

It's wrong how much I look forward to food.
I should be the size of a house.

It is one of the senses though and needs to be stimulated :)
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:40, Reply)

i want goulash now!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:42, Reply)

OK, Verucca Salt!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:48, Reply)

No, spicy

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:50, Reply)

OK, Verruca Spicy

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:50, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=jC9AUR-iTo0
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:53, Reply)

Someone do a nu fred
It's lunch time after all.

I'm off to chase down the elusive "Butty Lady"
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 11:57, Reply)

buttty lady, batty boy

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:01, Reply)

I just bought tickets to see PWEI, Jesus Jones and the Wonder Stuff on the same night!
Who wants to be first to tell me they're all shit and I'm a prick?
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:02, Reply)

You are emvee AICMFP
is it at the music hall?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:04, Reply)

Nah, Edinburgh Picturehouse.
Managed to bag a hotel for £25. Sorted.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:07, Reply)

it's not the proper lineup of pwei any more

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:10, Reply)

I know.
Clint Mansell's too busy making scores and that, innit.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:11, Reply)

Yeah and Miles Hunt's in The Wonderstuff

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:12, Reply)

I liked that score for The Fountain that he did.
Wasn't keen on the film though.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:20, Reply)

Another Cov success story!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:23, Reply)

YEAH!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:26, Reply)

They're all shit and you're a 'Miles Hunt'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:06, Reply)

How much did that shit set you back?
Is Vic reeves there?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:10, Reply)

About £25.
No, I doubt it.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:10, Reply)

My sister went to school with the lot from Jesus Jones. Bunch of cunts apparently, but then former classmates always say that about someone who has even minor success.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:10, Reply)

A lot of people in bands are pricks.
Your sister might be right.
( Slippery Mick ‏, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:12, Reply)

If you're going to the Tregorney Tree Festival could you ask Monty if I can have my tent back?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:11, Reply)

He's still living in it.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:13, Reply)

I accompanied a friend to see The Wonder Stuff supported by Jesus Jones about 12 years ago
It was all a bit sad and tragic then, I can't imagine this has got any better since then.
However, if you are a big fan of these bands I should think you'll have a good time. Most of the other people there did.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:31, Reply)

one for Tangles and AB
ANOTHER nonce uncovered in the folk world:

www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-hereford-worcester-24955436

I say hats off to him.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:27, Reply)

Get folked.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:31, Reply)

Not poor Roy :(
What do you mean another?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:32, Reply)

I mean there's you, AB and Roy Harper.
A trio of nonces.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:35, Reply)

THREEDOPHILE.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:36, Reply)

Also, I get this joke!

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:32, Reply)

It's a good job that we have vaguely similar tastes in music, otherwise you wouldn't have got the reference and then posted a biscuit-arsed butthurt comment!

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Fri 15 Nov 2013, 12:36, Reply)