Evening prick thread.
A lass at work has just been given a pair of Louboutins by her boyfriend "just because". he drove to the office and everything.

What was the last nice gift you had given?

alt. Hangover cures.

altalt. Someone start and argument or summink... Pricks.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:06, 113 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

Someone once gave me a wanksock
Alt: more beer, obv.

Altalt: piss up a rope, fuckstick.
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:08, Reply)

Used?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:13, Reply)

a lollypop as you people would call it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:14, Reply)

My work colleague just asked what was wrong, because my face was all screwed up in disgust there

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:14, Reply)

disgust his crotch
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:22, Reply)

milka just went savory

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:23, Reply)

I was bought a framed photograph at an art fair, which is now one of my favourite things in my house. That was the last nice gift I had.
Alt: Diet coke, nurofen, sleep.
Altalt: No :)
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:13, Reply)

post a picture of you frame so we can enjoy it too

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:14, Reply)

No cos that site ent werkin

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:22, Reply)

***Deleted limited edition picture of my wall was here***

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:52, Reply)

Oh man : (

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:06, Reply)

It was massive and that b3tards one don't werk

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:07, Reply)

alt. Food and sleep.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:14, Reply)

alt: get up, shower, eat, go outside, drink

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:15, Reply)

vicious circle

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:18, Reply)

no one wants to hear about your ringpiece

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:19, Reply)

ooooh
you liar
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:24, Reply)

mention anything anal and up she pops

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:26, Reply)

Even the gays aren't safe!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:04, Reply)

"Just because" gifts are the best.
I like to buy them for Mrs Vagabond occasionally.

Alt: there's a new type of Lucozade - one that claims to have B vitamins and anticancer in it or something, and I find it works brilliantly.

Altalt: no youn are
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:26, Reply)

just because presents are for cunts
You cunt
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:26, Reply)

yer
if you give random presents just because, how is birthdays and that special then?
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:29, Reply)

candle up your bum?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:30, Reply)

Elton John's favorite but unreleased singlezzzzzzzzzzzzzz

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:34, Reply)

just to clarify I'm calling you a cunt here not your wife
She's more of a prick
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:30, Reply)

Go home, dad, you're drunk.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:40, Reply)

alt. Basing this on the fact you don;t have cancer yet? Hah!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:05, Reply)

Alt: Verily have a pea of the roasted variety methinks
b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1554731
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 17:51, Reply)

Minus points for use of the word 'methinks'
You are not a medieval peasant, forsooth!
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:06, Reply)

But verily and roasted pea were ok?
You knob.
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 19:10, Reply)

10.5 hours at work \o/

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:05, Reply)

I'm currently doing my weekends shopping on their time.
Amazing employee.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:06, Reply)

Compared to placid and chompy you're worker of the month

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:12, Reply)

I'm amazing.
I was headhunted for this job too. Haha!

Oh the irony.
(Don't you think?)
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:18, Reply)

Please explain why this is ironic.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:19, Reply)

That's the irony! It's not!!
or summink, I dunno.

Look, just fuck off, yeah? Always on my back, you.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:20, Reply)

IM TRYING TO HELP YOU

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:21, Reply)

I'm beyond help.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:24, Reply)

Have you thought about being more efficient?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:08, Reply)

I am efficient hakshully, how dare you.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:09, Reply)

I've had a shit day, I need a day with no calls and no emails just to consolidate
Ent gonna happen though
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:10, Reply)

I've had a busy day, good though, making money, passing the time until Christmas holipops

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:12, Reply)

I can't tell if the bird opposite is asleep with her eyes open, or staring weirdly at me :s

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:13, Reply)

Are you talking to her?
If so she's prolly asleep
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:15, Reply)

maybe she's dead

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:17, Reply)

Poke her in the eye
or sneak behind her and yell, and throw hot coffee in her face.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:19, Reply)

I'm going to the real world now. With real people.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:13, Reply)

Very good. Have a cookie.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:25, Reply)

is anyone else wondering what Louboutins are?
alt: hangovers are for chumps
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:15, Reply)

Stupidly expensive designer shoes for hipster cunts, I think.

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:19, Reply)

nothin hipster about them
I'd love a pair of patent dress shoes from them
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:33, Reply)

Point proven, I think.

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:36, Reply)

What kind of girl are you?!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:19, Reply)

not a stereotypical one
so what are they?
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:30, Reply)

shoes you philestine

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:33, Reply)

shoes are boring

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:36, Reply)

It's all about boots innit

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:45, Reply)

they were made for walking

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:54, Reply)

How do you resize a photo?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:16, Reply)

what program are you using?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:16, Reply)

Everything I upload from my ipad to b3tards comes out massive

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:17, Reply)

You need the new iPad for that.

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:19, Reply)

"Thanks"

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:22, Reply)

you need to resize them in something
like photoviewer or picasso or photoshop or something, then upload them, then post them
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:22, Reply)

How do you know what size to resize them to? Sorry but I am this thick.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:23, Reply)

alternatively, <img src="put the image url in here" />
But not from an iPad, sozzington.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:24, Reply)

I have done hat but they are huge

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:28, Reply)

Apparently there's an app for that, called "Reduce"

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:32, Reply)

<img src="put the image url here" width="put the width here, about 800 should be about right for an ipad screenshot/pic" />

( G/PP &#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128169;&#128, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:34, Reply)

THANKS GONZ I GETTIT NOW

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:44, Reply)

cahnge the height and width in the html code to 200 wide and maintain the ratio change for the height

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:35, Reply)

Yeah but it ain't in that baytards code thingy and I can't be arsed simpgning up for something. I will have another go later.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:38, Reply)

You ent half milking this.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:36, Reply)

he wants you do do the same to his prostate

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:38, Reply)

But look at all these people that want to help me, dont be jelly bro.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:39, Reply)

If you think Nakers is helping you with IT you are beyond help

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:41, Reply)

I'm NOT!
*kicks up dust and walks off*
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:42, Reply)

go for something like 300-400 pixels wide or something like that
or just save time and put a link to the pic
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:25, Reply)

I will try again, I wanted to show people my lovely socks earlier :(

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:29, Reply)

I've just been given a set of strings for my baritone acoustic...
Alt: Stay drunk
Altalt: Fuck off. Then, when you get there fuck off some more. Cunt
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:25, Reply)

oh man, drinking is well cool
When you're 15.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:27, Reply)

No-one never gave me nuffin.
A pair of Frenchmen.

alt: A pair of Frenchmen.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:38, Reply)

TANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUE
TANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUE
TANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUE
TANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUE
TANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUE
TANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUE
TANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUE
TANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUE
TANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUE
TANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUE
TANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUETANGLEDUPINBLUE


( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:44, Reply)

you are KERAZZY

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:45, Reply)

they ent comedy socks you fool

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:46, Reply)

then why are we looking at your socks?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:47, Reply)

I dunno how to move pictures from my phomne to here

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:47, Reply)

pictures words
(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:48, Reply)

What an unsatisfying finish...
*insert joke here*
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:45, Reply)

I know, it's more for experimentation purposes.
SORRY FOR BEING A BORING CUNT EVERYONE, YES I DO MEAN IN GENERAL, BUT ESPECIALLY ABOUT THIS SHITE
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:46, Reply)

U ok hun? xx

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:55, Reply)

I am now I understand hot to do that.
I'm sure someone could have just said "add 'width=???' at the end of the code" but still, I am grateful.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:57, Reply)

Every day is a learning curve.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:58, Reply)

It is at this computer malarkey.
Maybe I should read the html book I have in my desk.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 19:00, Reply)

I approve
Where are they from?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:45, Reply)

burtons

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:46, Reply)

you see, that is a joke, because burton is both the name of a shop and also the surname of a famous film maker who likes to feature stripey things
lol
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:48, Reply)

John Lewis

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:47, Reply)

Dr. Seuss

(katie hopkins telling it where its at, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:48, Reply)

meuss bruce

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:53, Reply)

NO PHOTO RESIZING CHAT

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 18:56, Reply)

censorship is destroying this place

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 19:02, Reply)

You might be right, but that was so dull, and completely my fault.
I'd delete it all but I think it serves as a lesson, mainly to me, never ever to ask for assistance here ever again.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 19:04, Reply)

no ask more!
I like helping
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 19:05, Reply)

Well okay but I will only ever ask you from now on.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 19:06, Reply)

in a gaz, yeah?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 19:07, Reply)

Probably not.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 19:10, Reply)

How do you make those pictures out of numbers letters and symbols?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 19:10, Reply)

Magic eye pictures?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 19:13, Reply)

No like ASCII shit

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 19:14, Reply)

ascii generator online
or skill and talent
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 3 Dec 2013, 19:15, Reply)