Pet woes.
My cat brought a mouse into my flat last night. It was all stunned and dying. I had to scoop it up into a box and throw it out the window, cat in tow.
I was thinking how cruel cats were when I woke this morning. Looked out my window and the mouse was still there, uneaten, frozen to death.
I now think my cat has compassion.

What pets do you have, fellow B3tans and how compassionate are they?

Alt. Who is the best/worst on here?
I'm fond of most of you. A couple try too hard to be cunts.

Altalt. Hump day lunch tales.

Or, you know, chat among yourselves. We're all adults. Anything on your mind?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:10, 232 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

I have three cats. They are all cunts.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:12, Reply)

that story about the 500 cats in china on their way to be served up in restaurants upset me
alt: momo/frank

altalt: falafel salad I think
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:13, Reply)

Meat is meat.
I would never try dog/cat myself but we have this view because we domesticated them. They are not seen as food.

But they eat horses, don't they?
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:16, Reply)

Horse meat is delicious.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:17, Reply)

It really is
Like a tender well aged silverside,
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:23, Reply)

Hi-ho!

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:46, Reply)

it was particularly the way they were being treated that made me cry
ugly animals can be eaten if they are treated humanely. horses and cats and dogs and ducks are too cute.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:20, Reply)

You are a fucking idiot.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:22, Reply)

Seconded.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:23, Reply)

CLICKIN DIS

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:23, Reply)

now now

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:34, Reply)

You'll be first to die in the apocalypse
the rest of us will eat you
( Peej, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:40, Reply)

i'm not THAT fucking fat

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:46, Reply)

I have a hamster.
She is lovely.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:13, Reply)

lovely wriggling up my jacksie as I type
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:16, Reply)

GRACE FTW

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:17, Reply)

Felched the wanker?

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:18, Reply)

I would imagine so.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:21, Reply)

CLICKIN DIS

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:18, Reply)

'totes cute'

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:22, Reply)

^^ GAY

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:28, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2146070
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:29, Reply)

Im surprised he could type that.
Im not even sure I could...
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:34, Reply)

It is the gayest piece of prose I have ever read.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:36, Reply)

review by o wilde

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:37, Reply)

you ent read much then
You should read Last Exit to Brooklyn. You'll love all the tranny sex.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:39, Reply)

that is an excellent book

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:45, Reply)

indeed it is
I read it every couple of years or so. It's tremendous.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:49, Reply)

A friend of mine had a bastard of a hamster.
Bit him on the tip of the finger and wouldn't let up. He was flailing it around in the air, screaming.

I laughed.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:18, Reply)

they are just small rats
I hated the one we had at university. it wasn't interested in being friends, it slept during the day and made a racket at night, and cocked itself so that it could piss outside the cage and on whomever was sitting in the chair next to it. vile.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:19, Reply)

they are no more small rats than they are small rabbits
Totally different animals.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:21, Reply)

they LOOK like little rats

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:37, Reply)

no they don't
Do all pakis and nig nogs look the same? No. That would be an ignorant and racist statement to make.

All rodents do not look the same, especially not rats and hamsters.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:41, Reply)

yes
yes they do. hamster = mini rat.

get over it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:47, Reply)

right
JUST LOOK AT THEIR TAILS!!!!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:50, Reply)

Squirrels are rats.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:25, Reply)

squats

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:41, Reply)

Only queers use the expression 'humpday'.
Oh, hang on...
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:14, Reply)

You hang on, while I give a shit what stumpy thinks...
...





...




...


to be continued.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:17, Reply)

I think there's a website called My Cat Is A Dick but I don't want to look at it as I'm eating.
I have no other pets than the people I work with.

Altalt: homemade chicken wrap. Nom.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:18, Reply)

I had some fish but not any more.
Alt: Everyone on here is a cunt.
Altalt: Fuck all, and especially fuck all chocolate orange.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:18, Reply)

should have bought yourself some mini segments or something
the exploding candy ones are good too
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:20, Reply)

I thought I did.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:21, Reply)

that was naive

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:36, Reply)

You want to try that Oreo Dairy Milk.
It's filthy.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:24, Reply)

It's chocolate raisins all the way from now on.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:25, Reply)

rape raisins

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:28, Reply)

it is good
but the cola pretzel honeycomb one is even better.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:35, Reply)

jelly bean one wins

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:52, Reply)

I DO LIKE THAT ONE
also the cookie crunch one and the dime one.

basically they're all good.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:02, Reply)

I've not seen the Dime one

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:03, Reply)

I have a dog, it goes woof
I am the worst one here
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:22, Reply)

Seconded.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:22, Reply)

Motion carried
My Dog does indeed go woof
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:24, Reply)

Mine don't.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:29, Reply)

That ran out of steam quickly...
What's pissed you off today, so far?

I have an apparently delivered parcel at home but it aint there, and no card has been left for which neighbour, if any, it has been left with.

REAL WORLD PROBLEMS
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:31, Reply)

My fucken choc orange being shared with counts i dont know

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:32, Reply)

three little words
GET

OVER

IT
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:36, Reply)

OH IM OVER IT ALRIGHT

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:37, Reply)

:)

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:38, Reply)

unkewl

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:38, Reply)

I like your socks btw.

(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:43, Reply)

Was it yours?
In that case, Swipey needs a swift hoof in the foof.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:36, Reply)

It amounts to thieving.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:37, Reply)

and dishonesty.
How can you trust a person who helps themselves to your chocolate, and shares it amongst their coven.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:38, Reply)

IT WAS MY CHOCOLATE
A GIFT FOR ME
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:47, Reply)

Tell it to the Judge

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:49, Reply)

I'd say you were ok gayjay
But the bullies here would call me a bummer. My cat was an idle knacker licking ginger git.
(Pookie Bear had some very shiny foez, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:33, Reply)

Yeh so I'll post it again in Toms thread as he asked nicely! The PJ/Swipey sex tape she told me to delete
TAKEITYOUFATPSYCHOCUNT
( Peej, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:39, Reply)

Clickin Dis

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:41, Reply)

DUDE
NSFW!
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:44, Reply)

I've fucked bigger.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:46, Reply)

THATS NO MOON

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:50, Reply)

Pets are for needy people
Alt: GeordieJay
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:42, Reply)

Well, I don't know about "best", but I sure am popular.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:44, Reply)

I'm not sure you understand the word 'popular'

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:45, Reply)

Pets Children
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:10, Reply)

We used to have a right laugh on here.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:44, Reply)

Lies

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:45, Reply)

I have a dog
He looks gay but really is rather lovely

Alt:
You are all great

AltAlt:
Chilli chicken sarnie that was fucking horrible
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:46, Reply)

ahahaha
I forgot about your bent dog.

gayest of all the dogs.

also birthday bumps x
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:46, Reply)

He needs a haircut
and ta! x
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:50, Reply)

Altalt: I've got some ravioli and potato fried with bacon and rosemary.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:47, Reply)

i'm going for falafel i think
mmmmm falafel
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:48, Reply)

That sounds lovely

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:49, Reply)

It's not bad. I am out tonight so it's a bit of ballast.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:50, Reply)

Me too

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:50, Reply)

Where is your b/day bash?
Also, are you at work?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:54, Reply)

I'm on a training course all week
Off out with the Mrs tonight for food/beers
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:57, Reply)

NO WORKING ON YOUR BIRTHDAY.
It's the law.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:00, Reply)

INORITE
Shoddy work
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:01, Reply)

gay

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:51, Reply)

I want me some of that!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:52, Reply)

Stunned?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:54, Reply)

Mildly surprised.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:57, Reply)

lol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:58, Reply)

Two words. Shitty, stick.

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:57, Reply)

Don't worry bbz, I always wear a condom xx

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:01, Reply)

unshitty stick

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:02, Reply)

Hahahaha.
If I pay extra do you think he'll bare back me?
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:04, Reply)

No backdoor action innit

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:04, Reply)

If you're pretty enough, I'll do it for free.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:09, Reply)

Boo! *goestocashmachine*

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:21, Reply)

Happy birthday sporto
I just baked a cake
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:47, Reply)

Cheers
I now have Maltesers and coffee
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:48, Reply)

I have a lovely pussy, Mrs Slocombe.
Monty - 4evainourhartz.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:48, Reply)

How is the dour old bender anyway?
Still ablooblooblooing about his miserable existence?
( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:50, Reply)

he's started wearing guyliner and listening to 30 Seconds to Mars.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:51, Reply)

I heard he was getting flesh tunnels and planning on going to Infest with Darth next year.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:54, Reply)

I heard that he is now in a sexual relationship with Darth.
Monty is the submissive partner.

Darth is now no longer suicidal.

Where is the faggy dancer anyway?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:56, Reply)

Standing in front of the bathroom mirror with an iphone, trying to work out which is his best side

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:57, Reply)

he's an ugly fucker
His best side is the back of his head.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:59, Reply)

Wanking and shouting the Lord's Prayer whilst staring deeply into his own eyes, crying and thinking "Poor, poor Darth".

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:59, Reply)

I was, yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:01, Reply)

Did this guy's shit not stink or something?
He sure gets mentioned a lot round here
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:51, Reply)

It's an in-joke, he was actually deeply unpopular.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:53, Reply)

Did he get bullied away then?
He's not the guy from the 4chan thing that set himself on fire is he?
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:54, Reply)

That's him, yeah

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:55, Reply)

He was very entertaining, seemingly nice bloke.
We had twice as many posts.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:53, Reply)

If I have to spend money on animals it's for dinner not a tartan overcoat for little Mr Yapsalot
Alt: Everyone seems alright, Bit repetitive.

I haven't worked out who 'top dog' is around here, who gets to work the laundry press whilst the rest fold sheets.
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:51, Reply)

Red

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:51, Reply)

Pink more like.

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:54, Reply)

the reference here





























Your head.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:54, Reply)

Pretty much, thanks for clearing it up!

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:55, Reply)

2 in the pink, 1 in the stink

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:55, Reply)

^ tggi

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:58, Reply)

The other one.
2 in the stink etc
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:58, Reply)

Spocker

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:59, Reply)

In the immortal words of Poison
You Don't Know What You've Got 'til It's Gone.
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:53, Reply)

*unskinny bops*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:54, Reply)

I thought that was Joni Mitchell?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:54, Reply)

Did she have a fast car?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:56, Reply)

Nah, that was the chick that shot John Lennon

(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:57, Reply)

Ono!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 12:59, Reply)

niggas they try to have soul

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:01, Reply)

NO Elton chat

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:02, Reply)

THAT'S NO COON!

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:05, Reply)

RA+

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:06, Reply)

COONRA
Mum-rah's less popular zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:07, Reply)

The ever lipping

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:08, Reply)

Dead.
Someone else have a go.

Can't believe YOU PEOPLE have had nothing to moan about.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:14, Reply)

I'd like to moan about being on a VMWare course all week
ON MY BIRTHDAY
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:15, Reply)

I'm having a good day

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:15, Reply)

I've got a few days off after today
I'm reet chipper
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:19, Reply)

Hump day?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:32, Reply)

*humps*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:33, Reply)

Gay slang, I think

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:33, Reply)

Middle of the week, plodding on, hump day

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:35, Reply)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hump_day
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:35, Reply)

It's American bullshit that we should ignore.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:36, Reply)

Anything happened in the hour I have been away?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:32, Reply)

Rory

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:33, Reply)

Oh
And HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAL!!
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:34, Reply)

\o/
Cheers my man
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:36, Reply)

Afternoon Frogpus
go anywhere nice for lunch?
(Xav loves PhillieJoe, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:37, Reply)

No is the short answer.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:41, Reply)

and what have you been doing?

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:37, Reply)

Work lunch combo

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:38, Reply)

Spinning Bird Kick

( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:40, Reply)

triangle circle square square!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:44, Reply)

ABACABB

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:45, Reply)

Not even in my top five Genesis songs, sorry

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:46, Reply)

That's how I remember the cheat code for gore on mortal kombat.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:48, Reply)

Al Gore was in Mortal Kombat?
Imma try that shit.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:51, Reply)

New thread

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:40, Reply)

YOU DIDN'T DO THAT FOR MY BIRTHDAY

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 4 Dec 2013, 13:53, Reply)