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This is a question Off Topic

Are you a QOTWer? Do you want to start a thread that isn't a direct answer to the current QOTW? Then this place, gentle poster, is your friend.

(, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
Pages: Latest, 836, 835, 834, 833, 832, ... 1

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come on you lot, wake up
when did you last have sex? what do you consider a drought?

alt: what's the most valuable quality in a person??

altalt: what's the worst characteristic in a person???
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:27, 255 replies, latest was 11 years ago)
I'm married
We dont do sex.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:28, Reply)
lies
i'd totally hump your leg all the time if I were married to you.

no, wait.

i'm thinking of your spectacularly gay dog...
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:32, Reply)
hahahaha!

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:33, Reply)
Most valuable quality
A sense of humour
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:32, Reply)
Worst characteristic
People to get into all the polololotics of things. Does my fucking nut in
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:36, Reply)
is that because you don't take your career seriously enough?
it's just, that's what I heard....
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:37, Reply)
ha
Yeah
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:37, Reply)
it was hard to hear, over the flying spit and mashing keyboard, mind you

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:38, Reply)
Actually, this. You gotta laugh. That's waaaaaaaay important.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:53, Reply)
For Rory's benefit, that is why I've been here for 17 years
We have a right laugh here, yeah
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:23, Reply)
Can't remember.
Alt: Good timekeeping
Altalt: Bad timekeeping
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:29, Reply)
scowl

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:32, Reply)
+ports
Which bit is the scowl for?
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:33, Reply)
\o/

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:35, Reply)
just stretching my brow muscles, darling

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:36, Reply)
+n

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:37, Reply)
:(

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:37, Reply)
\o/

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:37, Reply)
Altalt breaking promises.
I'm having sex right now. Your dad says hi.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:30, Reply)
well, it's not as if he'd have his mouth full

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:31, Reply)
I call ZING

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:31, Reply)
heh

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:32, Reply)
None of your beeswax

Respect for privacy.

Nosiness
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:36, Reply)
been a while, eh?
never mind, Christmas might be your night
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:36, Reply)
Santa comes once a year

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:37, Reply)
Last year it was all over the mince pies.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:46, Reply)
I thought that icing was a bit lumpy...

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:49, Reply)
Too right Ed, I'm not telling her intimate details of my life either.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:37, Reply)
Don't blame you Froglet.
She says she's the soul of discretion but there's just sopmething...
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:47, Reply)
How about answering your own questions Swipey?

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:49, Reply)
didn't think anyone would care
i'm touched
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:50, Reply)
but since you ask...
- Saturday morning
- 3 months
- tie between being genuine/honest and a sense of humour
- toss-up between misplaced arrogance and telling lies
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:51, Reply)
Disgusting harlot

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:57, Reply)
I couldn't help noticing that she didn't have the worst characteristic as 'bed-shitting'

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:02, Reply)
that came under both categories

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:03, Reply)
Best and worst
Kinky.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:09, Reply)
Does that count?

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:51, Reply)
oh, it definitely did

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:52, Reply)
Not just touched though. By a man. In your foof. With a tallywhacker, what?

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:52, Reply)
see above, blindy mcblindperson

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:52, Reply)
I was typing whilst you were typing Dafty McDaftbint.
We don't all have to queue up to post one at a time you know....
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:53, Reply)
no, it's definitely you
probably the way you read, with your finger moving slowly underneath each letter
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:02, Reply)
Nope, some of us to do other things while we're on here. We don't just delegate to the tea boy or whatever it is that you do.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:10, Reply)
In answer to your questions...
Tuesday. Swallowing. Not swallowing.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:50, Reply)
haha!

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:52, Reply)
Drought = more than a month

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:52, Reply)
Yer. I noticed there was a departure from the protocol up there.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:51, Reply)
More sex!!
I only see my other half at the weekend but yeah, every weekend.
I would class longer than a month as a drought. Doubt I'd let it get that far.

it's easy with men, we're happy with a nice handy j.

alt. Loyalty

altalt. deceit.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:52, Reply)
I agree with your qualifier
but there's no need to broadcast it to the wimmin!
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:58, Reply)
I will need to counteract this for the menfolk on here...
Women hate receiving oral sex.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:01, Reply)
is this true?
hand job is all you need?

NOTED.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:02, Reply)
It is not true.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:02, Reply)
it must be
I just read it on the internet. handjobs are the future.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:03, Reply)
Also available as internet truth:
www.b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post2173457
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:04, Reply)
he's gay
what does he know about what women like, in a non-cupcake or shoe sense?
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:11, Reply)
About as much as me.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:12, Reply)
i hear them moan on about their boyfriends enough...

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:20, Reply)
Not every time. Or consider yourself da-humped!

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:03, Reply)
Where's Tangles?
I haven't had any scathing corrections today :(
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:55, Reply)
Dead :(

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 15:57, Reply)
A trombone-related incident.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:02, Reply)
+ rusty

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:03, Reply)
Not since Ladypigs accident, so like a week or so
Unless you count see with myself, and then I'm never more than about 4 hours without at least a little finger bum pokey time.

Alt: Self awareness.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:08, Reply)
surely she can't run away from you, post-accident
you should be milking this
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:11, Reply)
She should be milking *this*

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:12, Reply)
ahhhh tito the bandito

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:13, Reply)
Alright Frog.
I've decided that instead of phoning planning for more work, I'm just gonna sit in the van for a bit.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:18, Reply)
I think you are doing the right thing piggles. im in the pub!

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:19, Reply)
I thought about a cheeky half somewhere,
Until I remembered I was in Swindon. Much nicer in the van.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:21, Reply)
we have 192 cans of lager at work and weve gone to the pub. sensible.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:23, Reply)
Ha. Nice.
Right, I'm off to brave the traffic.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:24, Reply)
Got nasty whiplash,
So she's not really in the mood and I may be a murderer, but I'm no rapist.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:17, Reply)
poor lady pig
that does suck. the problem with whiplash is that so many cunts claim it with no damage at all, that it totally undermines how painful it is for people who really have it.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:18, Reply)
Yeah, it's pretty nasty,
I'm just hoping she gets better before she eats all the diazepam , Tramadol and codeine.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:19, Reply)
is she eveb allowed to drive?

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:14, Reply)
Bicycle innit.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:16, Reply)
i bet she'd do a better job than plenty of men who have 20/20 vision

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:17, Reply)
You're getting this wrong,
It's women who can't drive. In fact, it's probably best if most women don't leave the house at all, except to go shopping, and even then, they ought to go in groups for safety.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:19, Reply)
no no no
if you have some dick up your arse on the motorway, it's ALWAYS a man.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:51, Reply)
If there's some prick in front of you doing their makeup in the rear view mirror while the lights are green, it's ALWAYS a woman.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:59, Reply)
or geordiejay

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 17:10, Reply)
I'm flawless without the MAC.
Thanks though xoxo
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 17:17, Reply)
A week ago.
Alt: Physical beauty
Altalt: Physical ugliness.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:20, Reply)
Not even a hint of shallowness there Vag.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:47, Reply)
"Deep down I'm very shallow."

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 16:49, Reply)
Yesterday.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 17:29, Reply)
It was very special to me too xx

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 17:42, Reply)
I'm so glad we met! X

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 17:43, Reply)
good evening
i don't understand the question
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 17:38, Reply)
I'm sure Dozer would like to 'help' you.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 17:40, Reply)
dozer has been shagging since he was 15!!

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 17:44, Reply)
that's why he's too tired to realise
all that music he listens to is shit
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 17:50, Reply)
and that hamsters are not butt plugs

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 17:53, Reply)
Poor Grace :(

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 17:55, Reply)
Yeah, but only your mum AND dad, not good people.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 17:54, Reply)
Christ, the woman is obsessed. Has Frog not put out yet or summink?
alt:honesty

altalt:honesty
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 17:45, Reply)
I like you more than the real Dozer

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 17:49, Reply)
There is no real Dozer, Dave

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 17:54, Reply)
Ha!
Oh, and NO REAL NAMES ETC
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 17:57, Reply)
alright deceased me

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:05, Reply)
Dead as a dozer.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:09, Reply)
WOOOOOOooooooOOOOOOO
Change your ways.......
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:11, Reply)
bit late for that

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:13, Reply)
way too late

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:53, Reply)
i'm watching a documentary about ice

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:17, Reply)
Drugz iz bad, m'kay?

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:24, Reply)
Water freezes, creating ice.
There. Saved you half an hour or so.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:26, Reply)
Stop!



Collaborate and listen!
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:27, Reply)
Hammertime

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:31, Reply)
but it floats and does mad shit

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:28, Reply)
So does YM, but is it worth a whole documentary?

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:30, Reply)

w
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:34, Reply)
They all float down here...

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:32, Reply)
i might sign my brother up to a beer club for his christmas present
12 different random micro brewery ales every month for 6 months. what do you guys think? would you like that or would it suck?
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:31, Reply)
If he is big on ale, then yes.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:32, Reply)
he loves his ales
gracias
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:34, Reply)
Sounds ghastly

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:32, Reply)
you're thinking of your dad's horny squeaking as you unload into his winking brown eye

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:35, Reply)
He says hi by the way....and
Usual time and place next week?
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:37, Reply)
he still owes me for the last fortnight

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:37, Reply)
No, no,
He said you were too weak
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:39, Reply)
this was quite good
for a cracker joke
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:53, Reply)
Well it is nearly Christmas

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:56, Reply)
I'll shout you the 10p, don't worry!

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:39, Reply)
hey, we didn't do it twice

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:45, Reply)
it's good
i want beer, now
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:34, Reply)
what beer?
I made frog drink raging bitch once.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:35, Reply)
too easy
( don't know, nice ale type...I've not had much beer in ages)
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:36, Reply)
and he's had a taste every day since...

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:36, Reply)
WOAH

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:53, Reply)
Yes if he routinely goes for bottled ales.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:35, Reply)
he does indeed

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:35, Reply)
Also I'm thinking of buying my wife a shedload of diamonds for Christmas.
What do you girls think?
Would you like that or would it suck.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:38, Reply)
depends how much she's into cutting glass
otherwise they are useless
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:41, Reply)
she'd hate them
give them to me instead. random girls on the internet love diamonds.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:45, Reply)
Oh boy, Kunt's released a new song about Ian Watkins.
I hope it's in the newsletter.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:40, Reply)
alright

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:54, Reply)
someone up there fancies you

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:57, Reply)
my ghost?

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:57, Reply)
ME

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:59, Reply)
I know baby, I know xx

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 18:59, Reply)
U iz well fit

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 19:01, Reply)
I know.

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 19:07, Reply)
oh, wait, the other one
thinks you are a garden gnome who should fall in a pond and drown.

"HTH XX"
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 19:00, Reply)
oh baby you are funny when you try to be arch and cutting

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 19:07, Reply)
don't "baby" me
you use that for all the girls, look ^^
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 19:08, Reply)
I'll 'baby' you if I fackin well want, innit babydoll?

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 19:11, Reply)
are you sure you want to ignore dozer?
hell to the Y to the E to the motherfuckin' S
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 19:16, Reply)
you wouldn't.
You'd miss me too much baby.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 19:18, Reply)
i ignored you for 5 minutes for a lolarious joke
but I don't think you noticed :(
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 19:24, Reply)
you're instantly forgettable

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 19:26, Reply)
that's why you've been stalking me for 9 years

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 19:26, Reply)
I haven't even been on here nine years.
You've looked at my profile often enough, you should know this.

Also, have you got those Ballard books yet?
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 19:30, Reply)
on the christmas list, innit
should be getting them on 25 dec...
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 19:32, Reply)
The Atrocity Exhibition isn't to everyone's taste
I love Crash though.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 19:33, Reply)
You?

(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 19:03, Reply)
yes
I fancy random words on the screen. they're HAWT.

go and steal your patients' drugs or something.
(, Thu 19 Dec 2013, 19:05, Reply)

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