Shall we try a newslink then?
www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/10570167/Man-shot-dead-for-texting-in-Florida-cinema.html

Over-reaction, or justifiable homicide? Ever wished you could do sonething similar?

alt: Suggest a new username for Rory

altalt: er...that's it till GJ or Swipe get here and the bullying can start
(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 8:47, 103 replies, latest was 12 years ago)

alright localboy

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 8:51, Reply)

alright dozer

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 8:52, Reply)

yer

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 8:57, Reply)

It's ok I'm here now
To answer your question, I'd shoot you.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 8:56, Reply)

with your mutton musket

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 8:57, Reply)

No.

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:04, Reply)

I reckon that massive bread head would be a pretty easy target.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:01, Reply)

He'd have a whole flock of seagulls circling him

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:03, Reply)

Something about an 80s pop group with shit hair

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:04, Reply)

It balances on his shoulders just like a mattress balances on a bottle of wine

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:11, Reply)

officelol

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:17, Reply)

Yeah I didn't get it

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:22, Reply)

Can we have Frog's thread back?

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 8:59, Reply)

Alright tangerz
I noticed you haven't yet invited me round for supper when I come up to cov
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:02, Reply)

It's because he hates you
HTHxxx
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:05, Reply)

I've already made up the guest bedroom for you.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:08, Reply)

I thought you people all slept in one bed to keep warm?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:12, Reply)

Yes and you are welcome to join us.

( tangledupinblue hairy badge with moving eyes, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:13, Reply)

*lubes up*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:13, Reply)

you should stay at the Britannia hotel, I've heard rave reviews

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:08, Reply)

His thread was really good.
I wish I'd have thought of it.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:04, Reply)

Poor Fred
4eva in R harts :( wiv de angles.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:05, Reply)

Is he dead? That's a shame.
Rachel is single now, so you can form an orderly queue.
(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:14, Reply)

We could never be the caring and considerate lovers that Frog was.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:18, Reply)

My technique is part Michael j fox part peter crouch robot dance

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:22, Reply)

Exactly.
And this bollocks about lack of stamina? how is it our fault if they can't keep up?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:24, Reply)

Oh you're not wet, how is that my fault? I've got a hard on like a week old baguette.
Clearly your fanny is impotent
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:26, Reply)

it's not just impotent
it's haunted.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:27, Reply)

Gross it's got grey pubes
Hang on...that's just Derek Acora's head
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:28, Reply)

"britain's scariest vajoos with Derek Acora"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:31, Reply)

I don't want to borrow your kazoo now

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:35, Reply)

"I'm sensing a Dave ... have you had a Dave up here? Did he die horribly whilst up to the back wheels?"

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:36, Reply)

** Looks around the audiance nerviously **
Dan, how about a Dan? De....Dur...... Dave? C'mon, everyone knows a dave. Surely a dave has been here.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:58, Reply)

Mine is part Whitfield 'Saturday Night', part Worzel Gummidge.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:25, Reply)

A little bit Mr Bean
A little bit magimix.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:28, Reply)

Half Steven Segal knife fighting, half blamange

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:32, Reply)

Half Jean Claude Van Damme
Half Jean Paul Gautier.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:37, Reply)

True. The South Coast is full of tales of his prowess and stamina. Frog and shitty stick and beating off all appear in the same sentence.

(DBT became a fruitarian on, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:22, Reply)

I think the entire legal system should be entirely binary.
Gradations of justice is just hippy nonsense - obey or die.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:39, Reply)

No, that seems reasonable
Every day - today's targets are the cunts that have one lane closed, meaning I was late to work
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:43, Reply)

It's people that have minor bumps then refuse to move their cars "until the police get there"
that fuck me off these days. You've got a broken headlight. Get the cunting thing off the road and out of my way. The police are going to laugh at you, and so are your insurance company, and you're BLOCKING THE FUCKING ROAD.

Although, even that was beaten over Christmas, when I came across a car broken down with its hazards on. Fair enough. Except it was in the outside lane of the M6 and the people were milling around the central reservation on the phone to the AA. That's a level of idiocy that shouldn't be allowed cutlery, let alone a car.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:48, Reply)

Needs more French "poosh ze automabille off ze road with ma gandarmerie peugot"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:52, Reply)

i agree
even on a ten car pile up comprised of cars carrying new born puppies and babies, just hose them off the tarmac and open the motorway.

however, it can backfire. when i was 17, some cunt went into the back of me on the A6. I was at the front of the traffic light Q and they thought the light had gone green before it had. there was a side street immediately after the lights, so I turned left to pull in so that we didn't block the traffic........ and of course the cunt simply carried on down the A6 and left the scene of his crime. NAIVE.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:57, Reply)

He probably drove in to you as he was laughing at your stupid personalised number plate.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:59, Reply)

i was in my dad's car
and it's not stupid. it helps me find it in westfield ALL THE TIME.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:01, Reply)

I suppose Westfield car parks probably are welly-deep in black hairdressers cars.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:02, Reply)

IT'S THE FUCKING BATMOBILE

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:03, Reply)

BAT

SLAG
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:04, Reply)

simple and effective would smirk again

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:06, Reply)

well duh

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:06, Reply)

If it was the fucking batmobile
you wouldn't need a personalised plate to find it, would you?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:05, Reply)

I'M KEEPING MY SECRET IDENTITY SECRET
I hope you don't play poker, with double bluffing skills like that
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:06, Reply)

2F-3567

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:06, Reply)

You are a fucking idiot.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:02, Reply)

at least i don't look like a troll

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:03, Reply)

Stopping to ensure details are exchanged is one thing
then standing around "because we need the police to see the exact scene" when you've bumped in traffic should be punishable by throwing into a pit of angry bears.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:59, Reply)

because people
people are idiots, badge
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:01, Reply)

*votes badger*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:02, Reply)

*is unsurprised you were rearended when you were 17*

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:02, Reply)

haha

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:04, Reply)

*is unsurprised that bonzo has lowered the tone AGAIN*

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:04, Reply)

*doffs cap*
At your service ma'am
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:05, Reply)

+ dutch

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:06, Reply)

Well, that was certainly there to be hit, Geoffrey
Pitched up and well wide of off. But the young lad still had to put it away, and he didn't need asking twice.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:04, Reply)

\o/

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:04, Reply)

But the lad has no defensive stroke
Its all well and good to hit those bad balls to the boundary but he needs to know when to build an afternoons jokes
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:06, Reply)

Aye. He struggles sometimes when it's in t'corridor of uncertainty.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:08, Reply)

I was back wheels deep in YM's t'corridor of uncertainty

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:09, Reply)

is that the bit between his balls and his arse?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:09, Reply)

If you like.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:09, Reply)

lol

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:09, Reply)

no it taint

(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:14, Reply)

I could do YM better with a stick of rhubarb

(localboy purveyor of pisspoor puns, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:09, Reply)

They had me up in court for domestic abuse. Said I hit my wife 15 or 16 times in one attack
Got off easily - any idiot knows that would have taken me all afternoon.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:11, Reply)

He certainly needs to work on his footwork
Now when I were a lad we would stand for 36 hours on't crease to ensure correct positioning, before even picking t'bat up.
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 10:11, Reply)

Signals fucked at Waterloo, 1/2 delay, train then terminated, got on slow train, it's just stopped cos some cunt needs attention

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:50, Reply)

Cunt is now better or dead as we are moving

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:52, Reply)

i got stuck outside earls court for HOURS today
because a train had problems meaning it was down to one platform. ffs. earls court is a fucking shithole station.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:59, Reply)

it depends on the film
in some things I've seen, i'd have shot myself.

www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/10553723/Theatre-assistant-posted-jokes-on-Twitter-about-patients-pubic-hair.html

oh dear.

alt: zero

altalt: no bullying
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:54, Reply)

I am far too calm & gentle to even consider causing injury to another person, no matter what the provocation.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:55, Reply)

calm & gentle short
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:57, Reply)

I guess by the time you've found a step ladder the moment has passed anyway

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 14 Jan 2014, 9:57, Reply)